[CLOSED] Posting because I was asked to regarding interaction with @Bio-Rupp
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39 posts in this topic

To buyer:

Should one have read and known the shipping cost before claiming? Yes. Did they do the right thing by offering to still pay and honour the "claim it" guidelines? Yes. Did they need to leave a message puffing up how much they buy and how they don't need a lecture? Nope.

To seller:

Are you wrong in reminding people that if they claim they should pay? No. Can the world not have an inch of flexibility, especially when dealing with someone who has bought a lot from you in the past? Is it so hard to say "no problem, I will keep it up for sale"? No.

End of discussion. Get back to enjoying life both of you.

 

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1 hour ago, Comical Situations said:

My only issue had to do with verbiage and uncalled for character attacks.  

All he said (paraphrased) is gotcha...let me think about it.

I just don't see what was wrong with that response. Was it the "gotcha" that got you? 

Thankfully, I've had more than one deal on the boards that required someone to "sleep on it" and things turned out very well. 

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All I can say is that if both of you react the way you did over something so small, it has me hesitant to want to buy or sell from/to either of you. If you read this and think my tone is stern well you are wrong. How anyone can assume tone from text is just that...your assumption. And some people assume the worst.

By the way, I sang this in my best operatic voice. And I drew out the word worst at the end for a good five seconds. It was slightly off key but it was definitely singing. Now I have to explain to my wife what I was doing so...

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7 minutes ago, newshane said:

All he said (paraphrased) is gotcha...let me think about it.

I just don't see what was wrong with that response. Was it the "gotcha" that got you? 

Thankfully, I've had more than one deal on the boards that required someone to "sleep on it" and things turned out very well. 

I believe we are thinking of two different things...mostly "that is incredibly childish." was where offense occurred initially.

Edited by Comical Situations
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21 minutes ago, Comical Situations said:

I believe we are thinking of two different things...mostly "that is incredibly childish." was where offense occurred initially.

He said that after you cancelled a deal and told him not to lecture you? Correct? 

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24 minutes ago, Comical Situations said:

I believe we are thinking of two different things...mostly "that is incredibly childish." was where offense occurred initially.

Can you and @Bio-Rupp compromise that part?  Two different things can be fixed. Both can be forgivable after it's fixed.

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13 hours ago, Comical Situations said:
 

I just paid you 10 for the book, since I failed to identify the shipping charges prior to participating in the thread that is on me.  As mentioned previous, I am not paying 14 for shipping.  You can donate to another cause, sell again, or basically do what you wish with the book.  By paying for the book my obligation to you is met, and I'm no longer interested in having it shipped to me.  Please note, this is far from my first board buy and I don't need or want a lecture on board etiquette from you.  I'm also not interested in your viewpoint regarding binding contracts, as you are incorrect as to what constitutes one from a legal standpoint.  That said, I do agree that if I state I will take a book then I should stand behind that....thus the payment.  My reasons are my own and if I felt beholden in some fashion to explain myself to you, I would.  As it stands, I do not.  I am simply not interested in any further transactions at this point. 

L-O-L. Imagine posting this and thinking it makes you look good, reasonable, or right.

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Like many here, I have "no dog in this fight", and as such I am not bias toward one party or the other.

I believe that a LOT of the problem here arises from the use of PMs (emails, etc).  It is often so difficult to interpret (for that is what we are doing) the intent or meaning of what someone is writing, when all we have is words on a computer screen.  We do not have the person in front of us, we do not see their facial expressions, we do not hear the inflection of the words, and we do not observe the body language.  WIth all these things missing from the "conversation", I believe we sometime tend to "misunderstand" what the author (of each PM or email) is actually trying to say.

All I can say is what I have said for many years, "Money is a cheap commodity; easy to come by and easy to lose".  I think it is a shame that a "friendship" (or at least a seemingly agreeable business relationship) between two people (board members) should be ruined over what started as a $10 transaction.  Seriously????  This is sad.

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39 minutes ago, Hudson said:

Like many here, I have "no dog in this fight", and as such I am not bias toward one party or the other.

I believe that a LOT of the problem here arises from the use of PMs (emails, etc).  It is often so difficult to interpret (for that is what we are doing) the intent or meaning of what someone is writing, when all we have is words on a computer screen.  We do not have the person in front of us, we do not see their facial expressions, we do not hear the inflection of the words, and we do not observe the body language.  WIth all these things missing from the "conversation", I believe we sometime tend to "misunderstand" what the author (of each PM or email) is actually trying to say.

All I can say is what I have said for many years, "Money is a cheap commodity; easy to come by and easy to lose".  I think it is a shame that a "friendship" (or at least a seemingly agreeable business relationship) between two people (board members) should be ruined over what started as a $10 transaction.  Seriously????  This is sad.

Actually @Hudson, the $10 transaction didn't start this. 

Easily missed in the wall of words above was my resistance to accept $130 for $265 worth of discounted merchandise.  That was the fuse that lit this fire.  A fire that I honestly didn't start, but I'm sure

some could construe that I added to the flames of by addressing the situation.

You are correct in stating that this should never have happened...I just couldn't meet the buyer's expectations of a larger discount from me in the amount of time I was given.

It snowballed from there.

It is sad that you're only a "good seller" based on what you can do for a buyer "next time".  If you can't fulfill a certain buyer's needs "next time"... then to them, you never were a "good seller" in the first place :( 

At least, that's the gest that I've been able to get out of this experience.

xxx ooo

rupp

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Thank you for the input and opinions received.  It is apparent the vast majority do not perceive the snark I perceived from seller, which started the offense on my part and prompted my snark in responses.  It is also very evident the vast majority disagrees with me and that is noted.  I appreciate your opinions, even though I cannot agree with them.  For clarification, the issue from my end had nothing to do with not receiving a requested or continued discount.  I don't feel entitled to/expect a continued discount from any seller.  I offer what I am willing to pay...then negotiate from there if it seems warranted.  Sometimes it ends in a deal, other times not and both are entirely fine.  Seller in this case perceives lack of requested discount, etc. was what I had an issue with...I've stated several times this is untrue.  I perceived snark and indifference (I say again...perceived) in response from the seller.  I felt his seemingly lighthearted response had differing undertones.  I completely understand PMs are VERY subject to interpretation (as noted by comments above,) especially without intonation, so that may not have been the intention of seller.  Regardless, perception is a devil and that's how it came through to me, and for what it's worth...still does when I take our communications as a whole. That is the point I decided I wasn't interested in any more purchases.  Up until this point, I wasn't worried about the shipping costs because I usually buy enough from his threads we end up doing bulk shipping.  That's where I screwed up and asked him to scratch the one take so I didn't have to pay to ship just the one...and this I was wrong on and corrected.  The back and forth that followed is what is was and I've already laid out what I took issue with.  There was plenty of snark from both ends and the difference in approaches has already been mentioned in my previous posts.  Not once did I try to dictate how he sell his merch, as he implies above.  I would never advise, let alone dictate to any seller, unless I was asked for advice.  This is my attempt to at least correct some incongruous assertions above.  I agree with all who stated this was not necessarily correct for this forum, as I am not nominating anyone for probation and there is no grounds to do so based on solely a disagreement.  I posted because seller asked me too...again an error on my part obviously.  Again, thank you all for your opinions on the matter.  I will leave this thread open for a couple hours in case seller or anyone else cares to respond, as I feel that is only fair.  After that point, thread will be closed as it serves no further purpose once sounding board portion is over.  

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