kav

in that case the reappearance of the composite superman-
 

sick bern

Can I get a spell check on that last sentence. 
 
Spellcheck aisle 4.

'Go suck a beet' is a pretty devastating line. I don't want to do that. Beetroot is horrible. 
 

This is sus. 

Miscreant who borrowed $8000 for motorcycle then said he never borrowed anything kept smart mouthing judge judy. Here's how it ended: Judy: "Ok sir lets hear it and talk fast" insufficiently_thoughtful_person: "Well I could talk fast if you didnt keep cutting me off" Judy: "What did he say?" Offcr Byrd: "He said he could talk fast if you didnt keep cutting him off" Judy: "Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5000 your counterclaim is dismissed" insufficiently_thoughtful_person: "Wow" Offcr Byrd (escorting insufficiently_thoughtful_person out): "Good move"

Theatrics of farming About 20 years ago, I was a young rural telco repair guy. It was very typical to wander through farmers’ fields to get to a pedestal to fix telephone wires. A lot of the time you have to slip past barbed wire and just avoid the cow patties. Sometimes the cows will come see what you're doing, generally it's fine. Horses are a bit more like dogs and you have to gauge their personalities. It's usually obvious when a horse is going to be territorial. Anyway, this one time, I crawled through the fence carrying a ladder and some joker has piled tires over the pedestal! I'm grumbling to myself and start lifting the heavy tires off the pedestal when I hear shouting. Farming comes blasting up on a quad, and yells to me (and I swear this was the line, I bet he was saving it forever) “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!” I kinda just stared at him but felt the earth starting to shake. So hopped on behind, and we raced off. About a minute later a herd of bison came racing through, stomping on my ladder, and would have done the same to me. I didn't realize that farmers were raising bison here, but I sure left tire protected pedestals alone after that.

Suck it, @kav

Turns out he was just competing for American Idol anyway. Future Simon Cowell just wasn't impressed with his strongman act. "Saw it 1000 years ago. It was rubbish then." 

neighbor brought tacos

neighbor brought tacos

when i first started selling on ebay i was scanning books and which one do you think got the tape pull?  jimmy olsen?  nope asm 50.

naw