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Started by thomasdacat,

88,978 posts in this topic

dover

dover

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Posted

The 10 Things You Can Say At Thanksgiving and Get Away With.

 

10. Talk about a huge breast!

9. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

8. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

7. That's one terrific spread!

6. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

5. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

4. Don't play with your meat.

3. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

2. How long will it take after you stick it in?

 

And the Number #1 thing you can only say on Thanksgiving....

 

1. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

 

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dover

dover

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Baptizing A Drunk

 

 

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

 

 

'Yes I am' replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

 

 

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't.' The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'

 

 

The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

 

 

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'

 

 

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

 

 

 

'Are you sure this is where he fell in?

 

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