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Started by thomasdacat,

88,978 posts in this topic

porcupine48

porcupine48

Posted
Posted
Some people are huge self righteous . These boards are absolutely not lacking in that department. (thumbs u

Name names.I best not be one...I am to much of a massive sex toy that is full of myself.

 

You Really Must Ask?

well,yeah...

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steveinthecity

steveinthecity

Posted
Posted
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina

dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the

check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and

have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I

was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in

the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened

in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my

orifices and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that

it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply

eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it

works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a

poodle's arss and a car hit me.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he

was Laughing so hard.

 

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in

the World to think of crazy things to say.

 

 

Dover, that is pure genius. Great story.

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