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[dover]

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

 

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

 

I told her the Beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

 

And that's when the fight started.....

 

[dover]

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

 

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

 

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

 

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

 

And that's when the fight started.....

 

[User 01001010]

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

 

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

 

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

 

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

 

And that's when the fight started.....

 

[Comicopolis]

 

Dover - is your first name Ben?

[Comicopolis]

And that's when the fight started.....

 

[Comicopolis]

[Mr.Diggler]

[Comicopolis]

[Comicopolis]

[Mr.Diggler]

[Old Fashion PB and J]

[Comicopolis]

[slym2none]

 

Dover - is your first name Ben?

 

Is his wife's name Eileen?

 

 

 

-slym

[dover]

 

Dover - is your first name Ben?

 

Is his wife's name Eileen?

 

 

 

-slym

 

[slym2none]

Pardons all around.

 

I wish I still had an old Durham NC phone book - I mess you not, there was a couple listed in the book, last name Dover and he was Ben, she was Eileen.

 

I thought it was a joke, but it was there for years, and ***I*** was certainly not going to call the number and ask.

 

 

 

-slym

[Mike Bray]

amen brother - tell it like it is

[dover]

Pardons all around.

 

I wish I still had an old Durham NC phone book - I mess you not, there was a couple listed in the book, last name Dover and he was Ben, she was Eileen.

 

I thought it was a joke, but it was there for years, and ***I*** was certainly not going to call the number and ask.

 

 

 

-slym

 

you think I heard that one before? That is a nick name I got in racing. Could be many stories as to where it came from and it could be my favorite saying at the Gentlmen Clubs frequented on the road trips.......

 

But, unfortunately, you don't get to pick your nick name, it picks you.

[dover]

back to the humor!

[dover]

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

 

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

 

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

 

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

 

Now it gets really weird.

 

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

 

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

 

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

 

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

 

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

 

Now hang on to your seat.

 

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."

Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

 

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

 

And here's the "kicker":

 

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

 

AND.....................

 

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a

warehouse.....

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...

 

[Mr.Diggler]