Why Music Comic Book tie-ins generally suck!

I'm a big fan of music... you name it... Rock, Rap, Popular, Club, Classical, Disco, Jazz, Easy Listening, R&B, Country, Soul... if it sounds good to my ears... I'm into it.

And I love reading comic books, which also includes a wide range of genres: Superhero, Adventure, Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi, Western, Funny Comics, Underground, and, on some rare occasions, even Romance Comics.

However, when these two diverse examples of popular cultures mix, it creates a tacky, cross-promotion tie-in, featuring celebrity musicians. And none of these comics, as far as I am aware, include any free music samples... like a Vinyl Record, Cassette Tape, CD, or MP3 download.

Can you, dear reader, think of any instance, where a cross-promotion with the music industry has ever produced a comic book tie-in worth reading, let along collecting?

Music Tie-Ins are just too gimmicky for my tastes... with the publishers hoping to cash-in on the appeal of the featured music celebrity or group. And the stories are usually bad... very bad... memorable, yes... because they're bad... very, very, very bad.

Back in the Golden Age, circa 1941, Gene Autry appeared in Fawcett's Gene Autry's Comics #1, with a story entitled "The Mark of the Cloven Hoof", arguably comic's earliest example of this cross-promotion. I can honestly say, I never read it nor any of the Gene Autry Comics, so I really shouldn't comment, but by the look of their covers, they seem to be closer in relation to the Western genre, and less music oriented... they just happen to feature a Country-Western Star.

Because of its success, Dell countered with their own line starring another famous singing cowboy, Roy Rogers, with the eponymous "Roy Rogers Comics". Its debut issue, featuring a story titled "Roy Rogers in the Secret of Thunder River", is a murder mystery. Again, this is another early example, but leaning more so to Western-Cowboy themes.

Fast forward to the 60's, and the Beatles make the scene starring in a dozen titles, and making guest appearances throughout the decade. These are perfect examples of when comics become more and more gimmicky due to the Fab Four's sky-rocketing success and celebrity... and the stars are everywhere: DC's Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen No. 79, Marvel's Strange Tales 130, Batman 222, and in comics I have never heard of like Charlton's My Little Margie, based upon a CBS TV sitcom of the same name. The Beatles also starred in several movies throughout this decade, and comic book tie-ins followed suit. You say you want a "Revolution", then go and check out www.beatlescomics.com , to view perhaps the largest collection of comic books featuring the Beatles.

Inspired by The Beatles success, Dell published its own tie-in, featuring those TV-created imitators... The Monkees... an oddball comic book, mirroring their childish antics from their ABC TV show. Dial B for Blog discusses the whole Monkees' comic, as well as one unusual cameo of the singing group as superheroes in the background of two panels in Mark Waid's and Alex Ross' epic saga, Kingdom Come. So "Catch the Last Train to Clarkesville" at: http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/438/monkeemen3.html

By the 70's, another of ABC's faux singing groups, The Partridge Family, gets their very own comic, published by Charlton. From the looks of the covers themselves, I'm ready to puke! "Get Happy" and checkout the whole sappy scene at: http://www.comicvine.com/partridge-family/49-34592/.

In 1977, Marvel Comics Super Special gave KISS the four-color treatment, where it was purported (in an obvious marketing ploy to sell these bastions of bad taste), KISS members Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Ace Freely, and Peter Criss, had their blood drawn and mixed with red ink used in the printing process. What a truly ridiculous gimmick! But I must say, it played well into the brand marketing of what KISS was all about... and it worked! Thousands of fevered and rabid KISS Army fans clamored to buy those awful comics. Here's an interesting piece of comic trivia... Did you know? ...KISS actually made their debut on the very last panel of Howard the Duck, No. 12?

"Welcome to My Nightmare!" Two years later saw Alice Cooper make his comic book debut, brought to you by, guess who, Marvel Comics Group, in Marvel Premiere No. 50. This one had goofy written all over it... with the cover depicting Alice being hauled into a looney bin... it actually makes the KISS comic look decent. Take a look at "The Doctor", who looks like Doctor Who's Tom Baker on acid (see cover image below).

There was probably only one time, and only one time, when music did make the scene for me, but I attribute that to John Byrne's awesome artistic talents... when he and Chris Claremont introduced... the One-Woman Disco Ball and Light Show... that Mutant Disco Songstress herself... the Dazzler! That was back in 1979, in Uncanny X-Men 130. The Dazzler was sexy... sporting shoulder length strawberry blond hair and outfitted with a tight silver-white costume and tacky roller shoes... she was heaven on wheels! But technically, she's not a music celebrity... and nor was her appearance as tie-in... so it probably doesn't count.

Did you know Eminem cross paths with the Punisher? Or that New Kids on the Block hung out with Richie Rich in a three issue mini-series? Did you know Billy Ray Cyrus had a Time Traveling Tour Bus? Or that Marvel Comics once had an imprint called Marvel Music Label? If you want to go down music's memory lane and check out some of the finest examples of what really makes for a bad tie-in, click on this link: http://thefw.com/worst-music-comic-books/ Although, I must admit, the Lita Ford comic looks very interesting.

In 2012, Stan "The Man" Lee, did his take on "The King", Elvis Presley... which actually doesn't look too bad, but it's obvious to me its another gimmick. There's a hell of a lot of talent attached to this book... so who knows... "1,000,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Wrong". Goto: http://issuu.com/liquidcomics/docs/fcbd_elvis_lowres1?mode=window&;backgroundColor=%23222222

Just a few parting words... and this goes out to the publishers of Music and Comic Books alike... I challenge you all to create, dare I say, the greatest music-comic book cross promotion of all time... or at least something decent. Put your collective minds and talents together, and I'm sure you'll be able to surprise me and the readers with a gold record... and be sure to include a CD or a digital music download!

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