Hibou

So that's the prelude as to why I shifted my purchases from the Fantastic Four to the X-Men during these months. Again, I was desperately trying to save my family... Obviously, none of this worked out, but in my mind (and still to this day), I felt that there was a path forward, towards achieving this... somehow. And it was those thoughts led me to this next purchase which was a copy of X-Men 133, or what's now been distinguished as "Wolverine's first solo story", from 1980...

Through the late summer months into autumn of last year, I couldn't stop listening to Depeche Mode. In some weird way, that helped keep me grounded surrounding the turmoil that fell upon my family... the power of music. Some perfect stranger sneaks on tip-toes Steals my Shadow and goes where I go... (Hello David. What do you want to do today?) Following my binge buying of Fantastic Four books, I started to drift towards some X-Men books as I previously mentioned. I suppose that purchase of that Jim Lee X-Men 1 was kind of the bookmark to that. It represented the bridge between David and I. I can't remember if I told the complete story here or not regarding David and my wife but I suppose this is as good a night as any to start this journey. I guess I'll start with a little bit of time travel as it goes back to my original Rusty Staples, Sunken Treasure journal... the part where I told the story of being introduced to John Byrne's X-Men while in middle school in the early 80's by a friend of mine named, Brian. This was around 1982/1983 when I was introduced to John Byrne's X-Men and it had such a profound effect on me. I have to admit that I was more captivated by the artwork than the story telling by Chris Claremont, but now looking at these books from a 54 year old perspective, rather than from a teenager's perspective... it was both of their contributions that made that run so magical, in my opinion. That's probably why I ordered this today and can't wait to dive into it... Anyways... I was very familiarized with the X-Men and in the early 1990's, after my experience at the Joe Kubert school in NJ, I started working at the local university bookstore. Eventually, I would meet my wife here but this is where the story of David and I begin. Let's call it 1990. David was 9 going on 10 years old and this cute girl would sometimes bring her son in with her to work if there was a day off of school or a snow day or something to that effect. Well, I was seeing someone else at that time, but whenever this woman would bring in her son (David), I would end up, unknowingly, "baby-sitting" him. I'm not sure if that came across appropriately because I never thought of those days as "baby-sitting". I will never forget one of our very first conversations at this back table within the department that I worked. Somehow our conversation led to comics and then to (of all topics!)... the X-Men. He actually asked me on that day, how I knew so much about the X-Men and comics in general. That. That day... That was when and where our deeply rooted connection was formed. Over 30 years ago. So... This is weird to write but it's certainly the truth... David and I shared a connection longer than my wife and I... Try to figure that one out!

Ok. Sorry CGC. Yes, I took liberties here and yes, it was fun. Ultimately, I just wanted to post the truth and I guess here we are...

Another weekend finds its way in... how in the world does this keep happening? Today was a good book collecting day as I went up to my favorite LCS to take a look at a couple of low grade collections. I ended up buying this one collection that certainly needs some work, but holds a lot of potential based off of what may transpire in the Deadpool / Wolverine (Deadpool 3) movie. These were mostly early (new) X-Men books with most of them in the Byrne / Claremont era. There were a few that I wanted for my PC regardless of grade so I was happy to pick those up. Anyways, I'm starting to get an idea as to what is actually happening to me and it's both interesting and bittersweet at the same time. I kind of feel as if I'm looking at pop culture events and objects through the eyes of my son as if he were actually right along side me viewing this in real time as I would be viewing this. I know that some of that thought is based off of circumstance as in this moment in time, it was not meant for him to go... but it just happened to end that way. The books he lost - I'll find. The events he was thrilled to look forward to - I'll witness. The injustices he faced - I'll fix. You know, in some strange paranormal way, I feel like we're going to see this through together... one way or another. That probably makes no sense but it does to me as I write this and that's all that matters, right? ... ... ... Maybe it's the night that makes all of these thoughts materialize. Or maybe it is not the night, but rather, it's sister... Ok, yes... I just wanted to hear this song and wedged that in but can you blame me? It's a beautiful song. Something else that I've noticed that has changed in me is my attention to grades relating to certain books that I've been targeting. You see, I keep thinking back to when I was looking through David's books and seeing for the first time, the love that he had for certain titles and characters. It was never about centering for him. It was never about page quality, nor ultimate grade. It was always about the book. If you loved the book, character, story, or artist... that's all that mattered and to some degree, that's the attitude that I seem to have found myself adopting. To hell with the 9.X's... I'll get the book I like and be happy with it! And so here I was, looking at random auction sites when I found this one X-Men book that just screamed out to me. You have to get this! It was the ultimate rare copy after all... A 9.8 copy of the Jim Lee era, X-Men #1. However, this ultra rare copy was encased in one of CGC's Modern Era label slabs and based on my equations and based on current market trends and newly adaptive trading... This super rare copy of X-Men 1 (1991) should grade out today at a CGC 17.0 !!

It was a tough night...

As 2023 came to an end, the one thing I couldn't shake was where David was when I first met him. We're going back 33 + years now... I'll get to that story soon enough but I have always, and will always, associate the X-Men with both David and myself. Again, I'll get to this story soon enough but David and I initially connected (33+ years ago) based off of the X-Men. Many years prior to that, my comic universe blew up when I was introduced to John Byrne's X-Men (through a junior high school friend) in the early 1980's so that's where we're at. Once I attempted to resurrect my family with the Fantastic Four, it appears that I also tried to go back in time and pull David back into this timeline by revisiting The All-New, All-Different X-Men. There was that one book that I never owned that I tried to obtain prior to theendoftheworld... but there was also Wolverine (of course), but then there were these whispers of something else on the horizon. Yes, I bit... slightly. I heard those whispers of a certain pop star that might be a part of this movie that I (and David) couldn't wait to see, in Deadpool 3, especially in terms of what characters might surround this movie. Now this distant rumor sounded plausible but I didn't think that it would create the hype that it did. I went out and secured a copy of X-Men #130 that I was comfortable with, based on eye appeal and price. I've always really, really liked this cover even though I wasn't a big fan of the character. For me at this point, this wasn't a speculative buy as it was just more a 'piece that needed to be added to a personal collection'. X-Men 130 and the 1st appearance of Dazzler from 1980... So is Taylor Swift going to be Dazzler? I have no idea - most likely not, but can I actually nominate a singer for Dazzler as well as slide in a much needed intermission here? How about, Dazzler meets Kiss. This is Michelle Joy of Cannons (dressed as Dazzler for Halloween) with her band (dressed as Kiss)...

As 2023 would finally come to an end, this would absolutely be where I spent the most of my money during the year... on Fantastic Four books. It is kind of ironic as with the previous incarnation of this journal, that's exactly what I was trying to focus on. The Fantastic Four and a funny green skinned alien with a large head. The sad part about these acquisitions though is that they weren't part of a forced focus - rather, they were a subconscious attempt at retaining... or regaining my family through the constructs of these heroes of my past. So yes, despite the Scarlet Witch... despite PulpFest and The Shadow.... hell, even despite BlueCoal... The Fantastic Four was where I looked to save myself. ... ... ... These are those 2023 additions...

The last Fantastic Four book I bought I guess brought this whole story full circle in a way. One night, I was just mindlessly browsing eBay and Mercari when I saw this book at too good of a price to pass up. I did have a relatively respectable raw copy that I believe I mentioned before but this graded copy I found, looked pretty good. Again, the price was just way too good in my opinion. It's funny, but I when I started this latest incarnation of my journal, I was trying to explore the sudden incredible spike that comic books in general took... and now here I was on the other end of that swing where so many books were dropping down to levels last seen before theendoftheworld in 2020. It was only fitting as I had just bought the misprint version of her 1st cover appearance, at a CGC 5.5, and now I had her 1st appearance too... at a solid CGC 6.0. Perhaps I was hoping that she could explain these funny symbols to me that started to appear in my head during those terrible weeks of August. Talk to me Agatha Harkness...

How does one go on following the death of someone so dear and so close? You know, I've lightly touched on this subject with my friend Rob some years ago as he went through something similar and upon that discussion, I realized that experiencing death in such a devastating and emotional manner... it becomes transformative. Rob transformed. I've transformed... as has my wife and my older daughter. My younger daughter seems to be in a different place right now and that may (hopefully) protect her. As I'm writing this here, I'm also reminding myself that I need to sit down and document 4 separate, but incredibly vivid dreams I've had of David over the course of these past 6 months. There's definitely something going on here. I sit here typing this as I just saw the trailer for Deadpool 3. David would've absolutely loved this. And he did...

Of course I needed a starting point and that's precisely where this story would take root. "It's about war and what he had to go through..."

So what's the big reveal here? What was I doing, unknowingly with all of these Fantastic Four purchases? Well... Looking back, it's kind of simple. After the passing of my son, my immediate family was now reduced to my wife, my two daughters and myself... the four of us that are sadly left. The Fantastic Four. But then there's this... Marvel's First Family. I remembered my younger daughter's favorite book on my walls... FF#3 and their first appearance in costume. That was the book I purchased in NJ and now, here was the bookend to that as it was the last Marvel (non-superhero) title in 1962 with Fantastic Four #2. Of course it's the lowest of low copies but it just may be something I can work my way up in. I already have a plan to improve it. So, in all... I got the first appearance of Annihilus and Franklin Richards... then I got the trippy Agatha Harkness misprint issue, and then their second appearance as a team. Yeah. I was definitely trying to resurrect my broken family.

Back to my story... There was certainly a reason why that Fantastic Four #110 entered my conscience and it has a lot to do with symbolism. Agatha. That circle. Odd symbols.... I'll get back to that soon enough, but for tonight, I'll go to my next purchase and this was the one that, sadly, pointed out to me what it was that I was doing with these purchases. I've told the story of the Fantastic Four Annual 6 purchase and the story behind that from the Smoke Shop Collection but this next book is absolutely one of my favorites and when I saw it for sale on eBay from the same seller at an attractive price, it definitely got me thinking. I had owned a copy of this one before when I shifted to the Fantastic Four collection and outside of selling my low grade copy of issue #1, this sale was my next regret as it was a nicely presenting copy at a CGC 3.0. So when I saw this (also, nicely presenting) copy of issue #2 far sale... albeit incomplete, I had to consider it. That Thing pinup must've been very popular in 1961/1962 because that's what this copy was missing. Still... at this price, it certainly wasn't a steal, but it was a fair price and so I went through and purchased it. In terms of eye appeal, it surpassed that copy I had owned before and I think that's why I forgave the color touch and the missing pin-up. I love that this issue depicts the last appearance of a "supernatural team" for Marvel, wherein the next issue (Fantastic Four #3) actually introduces them as superheroes with their costumes and perfectly bookends the copy of FF3 that I purchased as my younger daughter was leaving for Japan. There's a lot of weird 'spotting' on the slab and I might go ahead and re-holder it because of that. And here is that Thing pin-up...

We're six months in. Hey, David...

To hell with it. Thank you, Justin. Somehow and someway, this video is what I needed to see tonight. I deeply hope that no one ever, ever has to understand this! To my two daughters...

So yeah, that was a bit ambiguous. Par for the course? Perhaps. ... ... ... Anyways, I'll start this weekend with a brief intermission based off of a (unsolved but now) solved mystery. Years ago, I posted this image on these boards hoping for some information that would lead to a discovery of who was featured in this signed photo. Well, thanks to either algorithms or AI... that mystery was solved over this weekend. So here is that signed photo of mine from 1920... The alluring actress shown here? That would be Vivian Reed, the silent movie actress. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivian_Reed_(actress,_born_1894) What I immediately noticed in her biography was that she was featured as Princess Gloria in the L. Frank Baum production of 1914 called, "His Majesty, the Scarecrow of Oz". Well, that made a world of sense!

Looking back at what I was buying prior to this nightmare, I suppose it wasn't that big of a surprise as to where I was going or more appropriately, what I was trying to accomplish here. I told the story of the book I picked up as my younger daughter departed for Japan - that copy of Fantastic Four #3 with married pages... That purchase was at the end of March... well I forgot about this next Fantastic Four purchase and this one was about 4 months later, at the beginning of July. With everything that's happened, I'm not surprised I forgot about this book even though it's a pretty big one. Obviously back then, I was highly anticipating any news surrounding the Fantastic Four movie and of course I was regretting having sold all of those FF books that I had. With news leaking out of the Silver Surfer and Galactus, I had to find a somewhat affordable copy of this one here and I also had to find one that was centered. I think it bothers me more on the FF books when the mis-wrap is so that it cuts off the corner box art which of course depicts the heads of Marvels first family. Anyways, I was very happy at the time to add this one to my personal collection even though it is kind of a 'lost book' to me now because of when it was purchased. Unfortunately, from July on to... well... today, it's like those days and months are all wrapped up in this dark, sad connective story. It's probably the thing that I'm struggling with the most on a personal level and that's solely based on how I connect and view everything. I've tried to convey that here in these pages but I probably haven't done a good job at it. Fantastic Four #49... the first full appearance of Galactus and the 2nd appearance of the Silver Surfer. So with that, now I believe I'm current in terms of listing my purchases and yes, I felt a small bit of comfort in adding that Fantastic Four Annual #6 to my collection. With that purchase, that marked the 3rd FF title that I had purchased this year and that would join the 3 issues I had acquired from the past couple of years. Those books being Rob's Fantastic Four #6 that I did some work on, the Restored (small color touch) copy of Fantastic Four #11 and the low grade Fantastic Four #18 with the first Super-Skrull. But almost right after getting that FF Annual 6, well... I think this is where things started to get a little weird. After David's passing, I started to get this idea in my head, or rather, a 'plan'. You see, I still felt that I needed to help him somehow even though he was no longer on this plane of existence. I always tried to help him so there was no way that I could simply stop now. These images in my head were swirling... like trying to form words but unable to. It was more like a swirling idea and that's when this next book kind of 'appeared'. Yet another Fantastic Four book that I had to now look into because there was something there that I needed. Rob remembers the time that I told him about this book and how I really wanted to find one 'in the wild' at one point. And so once again, I spent a night looking online when I found this on eBay, yet again. As my world had been flipped... black was white, up was down and left was right... it was like I was in a type of Negative Zone. Yes, the Fantastic Four references continue but not like you might think. There's a book out there that is kind of a negative issue as in a negative photograph and it features the first cover appearance of Agatha Harkness. Do you see how this all ties together? Now how in the world do I simply ignore all of this? Yes, that Agatha Harkness from WandaVision but not the Kathryn Hahn version. So when I found this issue, the grade was lower than I would ideally want, but the price was right in line with what I would want to pay for this book so it just made sense. And again, there was something that spoke to me about the cover of this issue and perhaps it simply added fuel to the fire of this idea that was trying to form in my mind. This is one of my favorite books that I own. The Green Variant of Fantastic Four #110 (along with what the regular issue looks like)... In case anyone was wondering how I went, kind of mindlessly, from FF Annual #6 to FF #110... I guess it really does make sense somehow. Purchasing this book when I did, pretty much summed up my state of mind in August and September. Total chaos reflected in a type of negative image or maybe, the Negative Zone. But what about that circle with the symbols near Agatha Harkness? Just made up gibberish by John Buscema and Joe Sinnott, right? Exactly.

Here is the literature that came with that Fantastic Four Annual #6...

I was so close here to asking for an intermission when I thought of something else... My dear older daughter, Lisa. We share a lot in common in terms of our personalities and such... many of which I've tried to explain to her. But when I think back to some of my fondest memories, it's when she 'graduated' to the status of an adult and we would go Christmas shopping for the family. One night in particular will always bring us plenty of laughs as I took her to Rochester, NY of all places. Anyways, she had a rough spot there for many of her adult years but I always tried to be there for her like I was for David... sometimes, maybe more so. I once told her that this song, would always (and will always), remind me of her... (Yeah, here's my intermission...)

He told me that he was a good 'Defender' (obviously, you would've had to played the game in order to know what he meant by that), but he liked the character's game play, animations and sound effects. And so one night... I hopped on to eBay to see what was going one with that book. 'That Book', being Fantastic Four Annual #6 from 1968. A couple of years ago, it was one of the hottest books, as speculation was running rampant on both the Fantastic Four and certain A and B list villains of theirs. Despite all of that, the featured story in that issue is one of my favorites... it's quite unique and I just have to say, you would have to read it to understand. Simply as a stand alone story, it's great... but when you factor in where the MCU could be heading or rather, what they could be able to utilize right now... it gets even better! And so, while I was mindlessly scrolling through eBay listings, this one book actually stood out to me. Not only was the price very attractive, there was also a story to be told about where this particular copy originated from. From what I could discern, this copy that I was looking at was from an O/O (Original Owner) collection. Not only that, but the original owner actually wrote a short story describing his youth and buying and collecting comics. For me, this wasn't just a selling point, it was a must read... after a must purchase. This Fantastic Four Annual #6 at a nice mid grade of CGC 5.5 was the first of a few books I picked up from this seller on eBay. Not only could I easily relate this book to David through the first appearance of Annihilus, but it's also the birth of Franklin Richards... the son of Reed and Sue Richards. So, yeah...

There is no way to convey what the days and nights were like for us as a family, from that horrible day at the beginning of the month to this day of remembrance at the end of the month. To sum it up... it was Hell... for my dear wife, and my beautiful daughters. My older daughter (obviously) had a relationship with David that you'd expect, as a direct sibling, so that was a separate grief that we tried our best to work through and then my younger daughter, who was just days away from resuming her studies at college, shared a different type of relationship with him... she knew him for 20+ years but the two of them, somehow, shared a familiar personality that they could both easily bounce off of one another. As for me, well... at times I felt like I was two different people at once. That's something I can't explain and won't even try. I certainly had these images in my head - thoughts that I can't explain. Maybe some would call these 'messages'. Others would call it an over active imagination... take your pick. Regardless, after purchasing that copy of New Mutants #98 for my son, I was so very close to 'closing out' my collection... my hobby... my interests. In other words - nothing seemed to matter anymore. I seriously thought about hanging it up and selling off everything (once again) and just keeping a few books that could serve to 'tell my story' at some point in time. That lowly copy of NM98 would certainly be a keystone in that story. But just as I was trying to sort through all of these crazy thoughts - something else happened which took me a while to understand what exactly it was. I'll get to that in time, but shortly after purchasing that New Mutants #98, I picked up another book. I was sitting here at my computer on one of those dark nights in (now) September and this thought popped in my head as I was thinking of David. You see, in this Marvel Contest of Champions mobile game that we had been playing for years (David was the one that introduced me to the game), one of his favorite characters in the game was Annihilus.

We didn't have a funeral service for David, instead we decided to hold a memorial at his place of employment, a bar and restaurant just a few houses down from his apartment. Everyone there was very upset at the news of his passing and like I wrote earlier, David worked with his cousin at the tavern. We were able to talk the owner of the place and he was more than gracious with offering us their catering / event room for whatever afternoon we wanted to do this remembrance / memorial. We chose the date for the end of August as that would give us some time to prepare and do whatever we needed in preparation. Almost immediately following his death, I mentioned that something or someone was telling me that I needed to do something... that idea, those images consumed me as I spent many nights sitting at the desk, sketching, writing, thinking and reading. An idea was starting to emerge but I felt I was under time constraints on this for some reason. In addition to this, there was also another idea that entered my mind simultaneously and once it took root, it seemed to have a life of it's own. My wife and older daughter had mentioned wanting to put together a board of pictures type of thing but I figured that even though I wasn't sure how it would get done, I thought that I could put together a video type of slide show with music. Music had been a very important aspect of his life and he would often share with me many new genres and sounds that appealed to him. Some of it, I ended up liking very much and would listen to some of it regularly. As we went through David's apartment, we found so many notebooks. Notebooks filled with his thoughts and so many lists. He loved to make lists. Lists ranging from characters on World of Warcraft to Marvel Contest of Champions (two games we consistently played on line together) to lists of music that he liked, vegetables he needed to buy for his health... ways the world would end in time... the value of certain sciences... and on and on. There were also numerous sketches of monsters, heroes and designs. I thought that some of these should be included in this video as it all added up to the sum of David for what those closest to him, knew. As I looked at his list of music, it was the last one listed that grabbed me immediately as it was not only one of my favorites, but just the perfect background to grab everyone as they saw these images fading in and out. Telefon Tel Aviv - Fahrenheit Fair Enough I already had the software to pull this together and it was simply right here on my phone. As these strange events seemed to line up in some construction of madness over the course of the summer... one of the last things I did prior to going to PulpFest was fashioning a retro advertisement for 'Bluecoal' utilizing my 1936 RCA. Before our trip to Pittsburgh, I had spent a few days playing around with the software and getting familiar with it while realizing just how intuitive it was. I knew I could use this to construct the video I wanted and so everyday, I would add some elements and make edits. The track I was using was about 6 and a half minutes long so I assembled enough pictures to include throughout the song. Well like I said, this kind of grew a life of its own, my wife would find pictures for me to add and then my older daughter would... and then I would find some more pictures on an older phone of mine that I wanted to import in. So what was originally 6 plus minutes had now grown to 23 minutes with overlapping tracks to account for the looping of the initial track. After having it completed and having watched it numerous times... and breaking down each and every time - maybe it was David, but something kind of was nagging at me. The last movie I had taken David to see was the awesome Guardians of the Galaxy 3. We both liked that movie a lot but in my mind, I kept going back to that last end credit scene with Star-Lord... Again, maybe it was David's influence but I thought that he would love for that to be the 'end credit' scene of this memorial video. Of course, I couldn't really do that as no one out side of my wife and two daughters would get it. But as quickly as I cast that idea aside, another one sprung up where at the end of this incredibly sad video, I could do a type of end credit scene. As the final bars of Fairenheit Fair Enough fade out, I could do a projector glitch type of effect which brings in another song with a very slow camera pan-out of David's final resting place. Call it serendipity if that's the right word to use here but I had the perfect song. When David started getting into alternative music and such, this was probably around 25 years ago, I told him about my introduction to Depeche Mode in high school in the early to mid 80's. I explained how they kind of brought in this new type of industrial sound. Over the years, he listened to some, liked some and always seemed to speak about them with repect for the pioneers that they were for that time. And so... Memento Mori (Remember you must die) This was Depeche Mode's latest album following the death of Andrew Fletcher in May of 2022. The title of the album couldn't have spoken any more loudly to me and this one track, Ghosts Again, was the perfect ending for this video. When I had the entire video completed and edited to exactly where I wanted it, I felt that it would leave a lasting impression on those in attendance. I was able to upload the video and then through the internet, I was able to stream it on their AV system that was set up in this room. It was displayed on two large screen TV's and I had it looped for the entire three hours that we were there. That video became my parting gift to my son... I think he would've liked it. Wasted feelings Broken meanings Time is fleeting See what it brings Hellos, goodbyes, a thousand midnights Lost in sleepless lullabies Heaven's dreaming Thoughtless thoughts my friends We know we'll be ghosts again Sunday's shining Silver linings Weightless hours All my flowers A place to hide the tears that you cried Everybody says goodbye Faith is sleeping Lovers in the end Whisper we'll be ghosts again Heaven's dreaming Thoughtless thoughts my friends We know we'll be ghosts again Faith is sleeping Lovers in the end Whisper we'll be ghosts again ... ... ... We had this memorial mostly catered by the tavern which was very nice but we also added some of our own touches such as these custom ordered Deadpool cookies. We had a lot of those left over and so we donated them to a local grade school that a relative of ours went to. The bar side of the tavern had 'drink chips' that you could purchase, which allow someone to exchange the 'poker type chip' for a drink at the bar of their choice and so I took about a dozen of David's Marvel cards (the duplicates, of which there were many) and placed a chip in with a Marvel card inside a clear sleeve. I handed those out to those in attendance that were closest to David. At the end of this event, I felt like I was in another state of existence. We had been there for three hours talking with friends and relatives but as my wife and I left the tavern, I turned to her and said, "What the hell did we just do?"... What we did was something that we should not have had to do and we both knew it and felt it.

Some of the other collections he had were binders of Magic : The Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Some years ago, maybe 20, David would write as a contributor to the one of the card game magazines. It might've been Shonen Jump but I'm not 100 percent certain on that. He really seemed to enjoy that time and I always encouraged him to try and get back in to that type of thing as it seemed to give him a sense of satisfaction and I believe he found it rewarding. Unfortunately, his years working at a few different pubs and taverns, drained him of his time, energy and health. Anyways, I don't know the first things about these card games so I brought the binders to my favorite LCS where I have a good relationship with the owner as I've written about here, numerous times. Upon going through these, I was informed that most of the cards were in the value range of $2-$3 dollars with a few select ones up between $5-$10 dollars. I was told that I should just hang on to the binders, which is what I was intending on doing from the start, but what I wanted to do was to sadly confirm my suspicions... that being pretty much anything and everything that had some value, was stolen from David over the past few years. Once I got to the number of long boxes, it became very apparent to me just what kind of collector David was. I found comics that I had bought for him with the original bags and boards from 30 years ago as I tried to show him the methods of keeping these comics in a preservative manner. In stark contrast to these comics I had got for him that he held on to, were his books. His well loved and well read issues of some of his favorite titles. That was what stood out to me, David didn't collect comics as a hobby to collect comics... he loved his comics. He loved the characters and the stories within. That was obvious. I removed a number of issues of his favorite titles from when he was young boy, a few years before I entered the picture. These titles were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Masters of the Universe. My wife was in the living room going through some papers when I brought these books in and I had to tell her my observation. Of course she already knew this but here was direct evidence of how important these comics were to him and how much he loved them. I showed her the copy of Masters of the Universe #1 and the condition it was in. She told me that she bought him all of the MOTU and Turtles comics when she would take him to the grocery store with her... she said that she would find those books all over the apartment they were in as wherever he was or whatever he was doing, those comics were always right there with him. Of course I returned back into his bedroom now in tears as I continued to sort through these treasured comics. The next day I went back to my LCS and got a Deadpool comic box, some bags and boards and then I spent that evening placing each one in a new bag with backing board. I would now try to take care of these as he would want me to. One interesting little side story to this was something I touched on a few posts ago. There was one book that I had given David that survived, perhaps it got overlooked by whoever pillaged his collection. A good example of what I mean by this is David had a run of Batman Adventures in these boxes... issues #1 to #15. What was missing? Of course issue #12 and the first Harley Quinn which could potentially have been a $500-$1000 book. So, as I was saying, this book was still in David's collection but I would have placed a bet for money that I had bought this copy for Rob. Nope... I had bought it for David. The ironic thing is when Rob and I got together, before our Christmas get-together, Rob said he had found a book that he had purchased for me around 10 years ago and had just found it. I just thought that was a great story to share here. David's copy... The copy Rob got for me... And on the day that Rob gave me this copy at the brewery we were at, these two pinball machines were right there in the back. Two of David's favorites. I think he wanted to be there with us on that afternoon. Drinking beers, talking comics and playing awesome pinball games...

In the weeks that followed, we had so much to take care of while trying to maintain some footing on what was now our new reality. This proved to be near impossible but the four of us managed through each other and our extended family's support. Of course we had to talk to his landlord and I was able to tell him that we would like to continue to pay the rent and utilities as we would need some time to sort through everything as best as we could. My older daughter was able to find David's book of passwords which allowed me to access his utility and internet supplier accounts along with some other accounts. I was once again crushed when I saw that he had made payment arrangements through the utility company in order to catch up from when he was out of work and to also see that he had just paid his internet bill on that Saturday... just a day before this all happened. David had so many collections in and around the apartment. He kept everything that ever meant something to him. Sadly, when I was going through his comics, I saw what I had known and feared for some time... any comic that was of current value was nowhere to be found as that was all stolen some time ago. There were comics that I new he had, because I had bought them for him that were gone as well as some non-sports trading cards. It was only a couple of years earlier when I was over there and he was showing me (as he referred to it) his Bible... these were binders of Marvel trading cards. In the early to mid 90's, I would take him to the comic store to buy these cards... everything from the Impel Marvel cards to the Skybox Marvel Masterpieces. As these were what was left of his 'prized possessions', those binders were the first that my wife and I removed from the apartment so they wouldn't somehow disappear. We weren't sure who else had keys to the apartment as he had a few different roommates over the years. He also was very fond of his Funko Pop! collection too. It had only been a few months since I took him to the mall and convinced him to get the Khonshu Pop! and the Kate (Kitty) Pryde Pop! He had been searching for the Zombie Mysterio figure. That was his top priority of ones he wanted to get. I got one for him and was going to give it to him this Christmas...

This commercial features, in my opinion, one of the best renditions of this appropriate song...

In the days and weeks that followed, reality seemed to turn and twist in a way that I can't accurately describe. There was a lot darkness... that I know for sure. And as it approaches 6 months since this tragic event, it is still very much the same. I remembered that just weeks before this all happened, I had tried to get David a replacement copy of New Mutants #98, the first appearance of Deadpool- his favorite Marvel character. I remembered that I tried three times to secure a copy before PulpFest but didn't succeed. Well, I'm not sure if I did this for him, or for myself, but I followed through and bought this copy for him. I'm not sure if was my intention, but the copy I found, matched the grade of my copy of Wolverine #88. I thought back to the day the news broke of Hugh Jackman being a part of Deadpool 3 and texting David to tell him. We were both very excited for this movie and whenever rumors or leaks would come out, we would be sure to share them with each other. But now... Does any of this matter anymore? I'm afraid the answer is, No. No, it doesn't. But here is where something turned in me... I'm sure psychologists would have a term to identify this as one of the stages of extreme grief. I think it started with this purchase. In some fashion, trying to piece everything back together. ... ... ... "I got you a replacement copy, David. It's not a CGC 9.4, but it looks pretty good..."