So apparently after telling them through PayPal that if I didn't hear from them by 6/29 I'd be escalating the case they refunded my money and provided me an address to return the package to. I'm out the return shipping but at least this fiasco is over with. Now I just have to hope they never have any cool variants I find myself wanting because they'll probably refuse to deal with me for being a customer who refused to accept their complete and total lack of contact.
And the message they sent me with the refund was -
Please return package (unopened) to: (Their Address)
That was it, no explanation, no apology, no nothing. How does this sort of customer service allow them to remain in business?