I don't like you anymore!

Why? I put a lot of work into that. And if I'm going to be a troll, I want to be WONDER TROLL! As long as we're all trolling here, that is.

No one likes Emoticon.

I would like you more if you didn't call me a

TROLL!!!

What if it's a really attractive troll?

No one likes Emoticon.

If no one likes Mylite or Emoticon, it's my fault. I apologize to greggy and BOC for not doing enough to make their namesakes endearing. I shall endeaver to reformulate things next time and make them intensely heroic, lovable, and worship-worthy.

If I remember to, of course.

 

Joanna? You're in a warm-fuzzy trance! There's too much harmony on the message board, people! Quick! Someone start me a Hulk 181 thread, give me 280lbs of Hammer, and get her on a carBug obnoxide bag STAT!

I just read a hammer novel over on that other message board. He's so innocent of any wrong-doing and dreamy.

How's that hip replacement? I mean, obviously you're still not hip, but when can we expect your replacement?

 

I'd reply to you but I am just too hip!

 

 

 

 

That's it?? That's it ? Mega-bag and all I get is THAT?!?!?!? I don't know why I try for you people sometimes! >sob! choke!<

 

I like you.

No one likes Mylite! Can you give me a star?

I like you.

How's that hip replacement? I mean, obviously you're still not hip, but when can we expect your replacement?

 

I'd reply to you but I am just too hip!

 

 

 

 

That's it?? That's it ? Mega-bag and all I get is THAT?!?!?!? I don't know why I try for you people sometimes! >sob! choke!<

I like you.

PS - Look forward to the next installment, Joanna!

I like you.

I'll see if I can write a chapter tonight. Got a lot on my plate today, but I might have time later.

 

Do what you can without straining yourself...and keep in mind the old adage "Always leave them wanting more."

Yeah, well, um... it's no good tonight. I just didn't have the time. Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist to get a crown put on, so I don't know if I'll be feeling chipper enough to write. But if not, Thursday looks like a possibility!

-- Joanna

It was great Joanna - been waiting for the Action 1 to show up!

 

Go the long route. To paraphrase George Hamilton as Dracula, "With Crisis...always a longie....never a quickie."

Thanks -- looks like that's the general concensus. I was just afraid that, between my long absence and the multitudes of characters, that I was losing you guys.

I really need to read this thing through at some point, to make sure I haven't dropped a major plotpoint. I know I have some characters hung up (like the time masters) but I plan to get them back in the story very soon.

I'll see if I can write a chapter tonight. Got a lot on my plate today, but I might have time later.

-- Joanna

So did this one suck or does everyone just hate Mylite? Next up is Hero Squadron in WWII -- anyone want to read about them? Should I start skipping groups or keep on the schedule (see below)?

• Schedule:
  
• Solar Powers (Dinosaur Comic)
  
• Hosess Hoard (Romance Comic - Neanderthal Style)
  
• N'Superables (Detective Comic - Chicago 1939)
  
• Hero Squadron (War Comic - WWII)
  
• Brick, Flame War, Where'd He Go (Western Comic)
  
• The Villains (Horror Comic)
  
• JBH (the beginning of time)

Should I keep 'visiting' every group or would you prefer I sped things up? Just asking for input.

-- Joanna

Because people posted responses this time, I decided to do a little more writing. Here ya go:

Issue 12, Part : Gotta Find Me Some Action

The N'Superables

Emoticon (BachelorOfComix) can be any emoticon

Rerun (Araich) TV in belly

Alias (Bonds) can split into 12

Mylite (greggy) slabbed, irresistible

Dirk Diamond (MinuteKev) Private Eye

Issue 12, Part : Gotta Find Me Some Action

Dirk Diamond, Private Eye, leaves the N'Superables when he finally figures out that they haven't any money. The group is despondent, and sit on a park bench, trying to figure out their next move. Alias is reading a discarded newspaper while Mylite looks over his shoulder. Rerun turns all the channels on his belly, but can only get static.

"I don't get it! There's nothing here. Static... static... more static... static..."

"You gonna say that with every channel? You have about 600 or so," says Emoticon.

"Maybe."

"Turn the page," says Mylite.

"I'm not done yet," says Alias.

"I am, so turn the page, already."

"Shut up! I'm reading here."

"What is so fascinating?"

"They found the mummy of a Neanderthal in a glacier. Totally preserved. But here's the weird part." He reads aloud,"'An analysis of the contents of his stomach showed a substance with the same chemical formula as that of the creamy filling found in Hostess Twinkies and Ho Ho's.' Bizarre, huh?"

"...static... static... static... static..."

"Yeah. Turn the page."

"In a second. What's up your butt? We're talking a Neanderthal here, man!"

"Is the Neanderthal me? Because if the Neanderthal isn't me, I'm not interested. Turn the page."

"Let's see... continued on page 4..."

"...static... static... static..."

"Not page 4! The next page, doofus!"

"Is your slab too tight? I don't want to turn to the next page. I want to read about the Snack Cake Cave Man. That's what they're calling him. How would a cave man get his hands on a Hostess Twinkie?"

"...static... static... static..."

"SHUT UP!!!" screams Emoticon. He tries to turn into an angry smiley with an axe, but nothing happens. He tries again, this time shooting for an army smiley with a bazooka. Still nothing. "Uh oh."

"...static... static... what? Static... static..."

"I can't turn."

"Turn the page!"

"No! Get your own paper!"

"...static... static... turn what? Static... static..."

"I can't turn into an emoticon! My powers! They're... ::gasp:: gone!"

Everyone turns to emoticon. Rerun stops changing his channels, Alias puts down the paper, Mylite steals the paper.

"Your powers are gone?" asks Alias.

"Mine too!" says Rerun. "All I get is static!"

"This isn't good."

"No TV," mumbles Mylite.

"What?"

"TV. There wasn't much being broadcast in freaking 1938, you know."

"Was it even invented?" asks Emoticon.

"Yeah, but it didn't really catch on until after World War II."

"So what does that have to do with my not being able to turn into things?"

"Personal computers, email, the net -- emoticons? 1938? Getting the picture?"

"I can't get a picture," whines Rerun.

Alias splits himself into 12 people, just to check. His powers work.

"You look particulary nice today, Mylite," says one of his aliases.

"Thank you, I--"

From behind, a second alias snatches the paper while the others laugh. "Suckahhhh!" Alias quickly reintegrates and goes back to reading the paper.

"That's it? 'You haven't been invented yet' and then back to your stupid newspaper? This is a crisis!"

"Duh," says Mylite, checking the thread title.

"So, boys, you still on the nut?" says Dirk Diamond, approaching the four despondent superheroes.

"Yeah, we're still broke," says Rerun. When the others look at him, he says, "I watched a lot of gangster films on my stomach."

"Don't mind us, Dirk. We're a little depressed because Rerun is here before World War II, Emoticon is here before the internet, and Mylite is just here," says Alias, playing keep-away with the paper.

"World War II?" asks Dirk, then he shakes his head. "You mean the Great War, but it's over."

"Nah, we're talking the Hitler version," says Emoticon.

Dirk laughs. "That Hitler fellow, he's full of hooey. Don't mind him. The frenchies'll take care of that sap."

"Give me the paper!" says Mylite, now not even able to read over his shoulder.

"You need something to read? Here," says Dirk. He pulls a folded copy of Action Comics #1 out of his jacket pocket and holds it out to Mylite.

"You... f-f-f-folded it... ::gnork::"

"Just picked it up at the newsstand. Bought it for the Pep Morgan story. But don't let the title fool you -- it may have action, but it ain't much on comedy."

Mylite stares at the once minty-fresh Action Comics #1, now with a non-color-breaking creased down the center. "::gnork::"

"Here, I opened it to Pep for ya." Before Mylite can move, Dirk opens the comic, folds back the cover, then runs his nail down the edge to keep the cover turned.

"::Snnggrkkt::" Mylite passes out. Turning to see what's going on, Alias, Emoticon and Rerun see the folded comic and also pass out.

"Huh. Didn't take them for roundheels, but you can't always crab things by looks alone. C'mon, wake up, ya mugs."

The guys slowly regain consciousness, their eyes fastened on the Action #1.

"Where did you get that?" asks Alias.

"Newsie's got'em. Dropped a dime on it."

"When? When did you buy it?"

"This morning, why? What's the skinny?"

"To the newsstand!" shouts Mylite, already hopping his slab in that direction.

"I thought you guys were looking for a swirly thing!" shouts Dirk. "Some sort of portal? I think I--"

They're all gone.

"--found one. Huh. They must be hitting the nose candy." Shrugging, he folds the comic back into his pocket and heads off in the direction they were last seen.

To be continued...

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

Oh, that brought back some memories...

 

'House, you know some interesing women.

 

... Well that goes without saying...

 

But I heard that exact expression used several times growing up, when a boy would say something nice to a girl, and she'd get that momentary glow that girls get... which was the signal that her defenses were down and it was time to steal a kiss... I was about 10 years old when a buddy of mine first made his move on the girl across the street... We were silently cheering him on from up in the elm tree where she couldn't see us...

 

Ah... memories...

Joke's on me -- I thought I had a line where she'd just put her handaxe down in order to stroke his face, but it got deleted (probably grabbed too much in a highlight). Maybe it's better as it is.

-- Joanna

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

Oh, that brought back some memories...

'House, you know some interesing women.

I love how the boards mask

 

Besides, thrusting is soooo [!@#%^&^] erectus (homoerectus)

 

 

The PC police stepping on a funny line just makes it funnier!

I can't decide Joanna in the context of the story is that a double or a triple pun?

 

 

All I know is that it was irresistable. But I hadn't thought about the masking problem. I may have to edit and make it one word, as you did. I'd hate for it to be misinterpreted as having some sort of secondary (sexual) meaning, after all.

Issue 12, Part 2B: Forbidden Love

The Hostess Hoard

Twinkie (Hogations) goo

Snowball (The Beyonder) goo

Ding Dong (Aman) goo

Ho Ho (Ninanina) goo

Fruit Pie (JLA All the Way) goo

Cupcake (Doyle) goo

Susie Q (Andrew Knight) goo

Issue 12, Part 2B: Forbidden Love

Big Red, the head of the small tribe of Neanderthals, is running back and forth down the long valley on a sugar high of Paleolithic proportions. The rest of his tribe chase him, with the exception of his daughter, Goo. Goo and Snowball are nowhere to be found.

"Anyone seen Snowball?" asks Cupcake.

"I think he went into the cave with Goo to see her etchings," says Fruit Pie.

"Neanderthals don't do etchings. That's a Cro-Magnon thing," says Twinkie.

"Whatever."

"Do we need to find him?" asks Ding Dong.

"I think we need to stop introducing foreign products like creamy Hostess filling into the diets of Neanderthals," says Ho Ho, watching the chasing tribesmen.

"They run funny," says Susie Q.

"What do you suppose Snowball is talking about with a Neanderthal chick? It's not like they speak the same language," says Cupcake.

"You wanna break them up? Be my guest. I'm too full of mammoth to care," says Twinkie, popping a seam on his spandex. "Dangit. Anyone have a needle and sinew I can borrow?"

"I'm going to go look for him," says Cupcake, trying to get to his feet. The energy needed to stand proves too much and he plops back down. "In about an hour."

"Wise decision. Ding Dong need nap. Him sleep now. Unh." Ding Dong closes his eyes and is soon snoring loudly.

"Ding Dong need therapist," mumbles Ho Ho. "Does he think that sounded like the Neanderthals? Because it didn't. I found their grammar to be surprisingly advanced."

"Don't freaking pretend you understand them, you liar!" Fruit Pie says with a sneer.

"Was I, or was I not the one who, halfway through dinner, passed the beetle paste to Big Red when asked? Answer that and we'll see who's lying."

"He pointed at the bowl and grunted. The rest of us were stymied by that complex and erudite example of hominid communication. Thank Grog the Magic Tree Toad you were there to interpret!"

"Heh. Tree Toad," chuckles Susie Q.

"But I was right! He wanted the beetle paste, I gave him the beetle paste, and he thanked me for it!"

"He blew his nose in his hand and wiped the snot on your sleeve!"

"A gesture of gratitude!"

"Shut up the both of you! Some of us are trying to nap!" says Ding Dong.

"You started this!" shrieks Ho Ho.

"On what planet? I was asleep!"

Ho Ho, Ding Dong, and Fruit Pie stand, ready to fight.

Twinkie glances at them, listening to them grunt and posture, then looks toward the meadow and sees the Neanderthals are now picking flowers and chasing butterflies. "Aaaand all is right with the world. Carry on, men!" He turns his back and goes to sleep.

Meanwhile...

Inside the cave, Goo and Snowball stop listening to the fight and turn back to each other.

"It'll never work. We're from two different worlds," says Snowball. Gosh, she's awful pretty when she isn't in direct sunlight. Those deep brown eyes, full lips, and flat nose really compliment the overhanging brow ridges, lack of chin and occipital lobe. I wonder if I have a chance with her?

"Gruh nkkkt mablt, Snnnnbl," says Goo. He's so dreamy. None of the other girls know any boys with chins. If only my parents weren't so old-fashioned. So what if his kind have small throwing spears instead of big thrusting ones. Big spears aren't everything. My friend Blehhh says that it's not the size of the spear, it's how you use it. Besides, thrusting is soooo homoerectus.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking, Goo." Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

"Blllt mnbg flurk, Snnnbl." This is so frustrating! If only we had more vowels, I know I could communicate with him! I guess I'll just have to use the universal language of horniness.

Goo reaches over and softly caresses Snowball's cheek. The answering sparkle in his eyes gives her strength so she rips his clothing off with one powerful stroke and begins screeching wildly in the age-old Neanderthal mating ritual. Snowball screams, trying to cover his nakedness but he is instantly pinned beneath her voluptuous, hairy body.

Moments before...

"What's that up there?" asks Susie Q, interrupting the all-out brawl between Ho Ho, Ding Dong, and Fruit Pie.

"Wha...?" asks Twinkie, sleepily. He glances toward the sky where Susie Q is pointing. Nine figures are orbiting toward them on a steady path. "If it weren't impossible, I'd say that's the Solar Powers."

The outermost orbiting figure waves and they hear a faint shout. "Yo! Hostess!"

"It is the Solar Powers!" says Susie Q. Wonder what they're doing here?"

Just then, they all hear a piercing Neanderthal wail from inside the cave. It's followed shortly by a high-pitched scream human scream.

"Anyone want to go check on Snowball?" asks Twinkie.

"In a bit. I want to see what the Solar Powers are doing here."

"Me, too."

"Yeah, me too."

"Okee doke. I'm sure he's fine," says Twinkie, rising to greet their fellow superheroes.

To be continued...

La la la la la! My books are done! Just did a final read-through... done done done done done done done!!!

Sooo... anyone in the mood for some Crisis? I am. Gonna rest my poor ole noggin tonight but expect a new chapter in a thread near you (er... this one, actually).

La la la la la!

I shoulda planned a celebration.

-- Joanna

To be continued

 

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ...

 

Sorry... sometimes the 5-year-old inside me takes over...

Go beat up your sister. We still have one more day.

But I do apprciate the props in your favorite thread thread. Made me get all excited about writing it again.

I think it was LSH 300 in 10.0

As promised, one last bit of Crisis for the hollidays.

Issue 12, Part 2A: Still Lost in Time

Solar Powers in the Time of Dinosaurs

Mercury (Dam60) flight, heat, speed

Venus (CosmicBob) flight, love

Earth (Ubiquiti) flight, power over dirt

Mars (Mushroom) flight, warrior skills

Uranus (Old Guy) flight, noxious scent

Saturn (Odin) flight, energy rings

Jupiter (BronzeBruce) flight, gas

Neptune (Zonker) flight, water

Pluto (hkp) flight, ice

Issue 12, Part 2A: Still Lost in Time

The planets step lightly over the fried carcass of the T-Rex. They hear some distant roaring and realize that the smell of freshly roasted meat is drawing a crowd.

"Dinos at 2 o'clock -- and they're wearing bibs!" says Pluto.

"Time to hover?" asks Neptune.

"Up, up, and orbit!" shouts Jupiter as the thundering footsteps of hungry carnivores draws near.

The planets launch themselves skyward just as a family of raptors arrives.

"Count off!" shouts Jupiter.

"Mercury!"

"Venus!"

"Earth!"

"Mars!"

"Saturn!"

"Jupiter!"

"Neptune!"

"Pluto!"

There's a moment of silence while everyone glances at his fingers. "That was only eight," says Jupiter. "Who didn't count off?"

"Hmmm... let's see... there was me, Venus, Earth, Mars... um..."

"Uranus!" says Saturn.

"Shut up, Saturn, I'm trying to count. This is no time for stupid butt jokes."

"Look below, Braniac."

Mercury glances down at the T-Rex carcass and sees Uranus is growling at a family of raptors. "What the blazes are you doing, you insufficiently_thoughtful_person?" Merc shouts.

"They're after our kill!" answers Uranus. "I'm keeping them at bay with my powers of noxious scent, but I fear they like it. It does rather resemble rotting eggs and week-old meat -- with just a hint of skunk for flavor." A raptor leaps at Uranus, but he ducks out of the way. "It's mine, I tell you! Shoo!"

"Get up here, now!" shouts Jupiter.

Uranus pulls out his keys and uses the tiny little Swiss Army knife keychain to cut the T-Rex meat. He lets off another blast of noxious scent while his back is turned, and the raptors start leaping around in ecstasy.

"I think the one on the left is in love," says Mars.

Saturn shoots off an energy ring and knocks down a raptor that was closing to within inches of Uranus. "Got him!"

The other raptors look around, confused. They sniff their fallen comrade, then begin eating him.

"Almost done..." says Uranus, cutting the last edge of an enormous haunch of meat. "There!" He turns around only to find himself eye to eye with a raptor. "Niiiice, doggy..." Quickly, he leaps into the air just as the raptor rakes the air where he'd been standing with his enormous toe claw. "Ha! Missed me! Suckaaah!"

"Very mature," says Pluto.

"What did you think you were doing?" asks Venus, when Uranus takes his orbiting position.

"I'm hungry. Besides, who else has ever had grilled T-Rex?"

"What does it taste like?" asks Saturn.

"Tastes like chicken. Guess they really are the ancestors of birds."

"I want some," says Earth.

"No way! I almost gave my life for this happy meal!" says Uranus, guarding the huge chunk of T-Rex. "Hey, Merc -- could you give this a little more flame? It's a tad pinkish."

"Only if you give me half."

"A quarter."

"Deal."

"Whoa! I asked first!" says Earth.

"Yeah, but he's got the power of the Bar-B-Que."

Mercury sticks his tongue out at Earth, carefully flames the meat and takes his portion. "Wow, that's delicious!"

"Please share," says Earth in a tiny voice.

"I hate it when you get all pathetic. Here, you can have one bite." Merc hands him the haunch.

Earth takes a bite. "Rrooh! Faffaashick!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Look!" shouts Jupiter. "I think I see cave men!"

"Impossible," says Mars. "Cave men never lived in the time of dinosaurs."

"Tell that to those Neanderthals over there."

A tribe of Neanderthals is gathered around a fire, feasting on fresh Mammoth.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"They always had cave men with dinosaurs in the comics," says Pluto, helpfully.

"That's right!" says Saturn. "Comics never cared about historical accuracy. So what does this mean? Are we back in time or are we in some sort of bizarre comic book come to life?"

"Who cares? I recognize some of those guys!" says Venus. "Check out the spandex -- it's the Hostess Hoard!"

"Holy cow -- it is! What are they doing here?" asks Neptune.

"This is so wrong. There shouldn't be cave men and there really shouldn't be superheroes with cave men."

"Maybe they've found the time portal?" asks Mercury.

"Let's go ask them," says Jupiter. "Solar Powers -- follow me!"

"Yeah, like we wouldn't know where to go if you weren't leading us." Uranus takes another bite. "Who wants the rest of this? I don't want to fill up in case we get to try mammoth."

Earth takes the rest of the haunch happily. "Mmmm... T-Rex."

Happily orbiting their way toward the Neanderthals, the Solar Powers barely notice a small "whoosh!" as they cross from one world to another.

To be continued

Massive kudos to BronzeBruce and Awe4One -- two finer gentlemen you could not find with which to make a deal. Thank you, lads!

-- Joanna

LMAO... and how that never made it into someone's sig line I'll never know!

I can't recall any lines from crisis in sig lines, though we could always start a trend.

So I am sitting there in the shop, waiting for the weekly shipment to be delivered, and I decide to reread the entire Crisis story from the beginning...

Cool! Let me know how it ends.

My UPS man showed up a little early, so I only made it partway through Issue 10 before I had to get back to work (which as near as I can tell is about 1/3 of the way through the story), but this classic line uttered by bronzebruce made me laugh hard enough to scare away a customer...

Even I've never actually read the thing straight through, so kudos to you. When it's all finished, I plan to do a final read-through with editing (rewrite the beginning to fit the narrative, etc). But that appears to be a ways off even though I'm on the last issue. My numbering sucks.

"We're CGC forum members. Men of action. Perfect physical specimens with classic good looks, moral fibre that knows right from wrong, and a selfless will to save others. It should get us some chicks, too."

 

This story is just getting better with age...

Thanks, 'House! Ya gave me a case of the warm and fuzzies. And possibly a small rash.

-- Joanna

KK sees the word "Peterbilt" heading straight for him...

 

"This is the beginning of time, not the start of life on earth. That happens way later. The beginning of time is sort of like Reno, without the gambling."

 

"Damn continuity freaks," he mutters.

 

And the piece of resistance! ... "The retcon was unpopular, so the retcon got retconned...."

 

Joanna - there are some mighty fine thangs going on there! Made me laugh a week's worth of oxygen into me!

Thanks so much, Pov! I love it when I get quotes.

Btw, the retcon stuff was spurred by a memory I have of an issue of Wonder Woman. On page 1, everything is as it always had been: she lands on Paradise Island, all superpowers intact. By the end of the book, we're told that she has no powers on PI, and never, ever has in her whole life. The complete lack of logic inherent in this "Now you see them -- No, you don't and never did!" bit of revisionist tomfoolery made my head fall off and roll away.

Ah, what we comic book fans put up with.

-- Joanna

"Mmm... primordial soup..." Homers KK.

 

You coined a verb for me!! My little linguistically-inclined heart flutters!

I had a feeling you'd like that bit of verbal winking.

(And congrats on finishing the draft!!! WTG!)

Thenk yew! Not that I can rest. I have to start book 2 tonight.

I finished the rough draft of the first book last night. So in celebration, I decided to give you guys a wee bit more Crisis. It's also a thank you to a certain board member who did something really nice (he knows who he is). So here ya go, boys!

Chapter 12, Part 1H: At long, long last!

Appearing in this issue:

Flying Donut (Flying Donut) Flight

Lighthouse (Lighthouse) eye beams

Spelling Bee (PovertyRow) flight, stinger

Raspberry Toaster Pastry (Darthdeisel) flight, goo

KostumeKween (MajorKhaos) not all that deceased Week Guy (NewtSamson) Lord of Time Stream

Month Guy (Johnny Double) Lord of Time Stream

Chapter 12, Part 1H: At long, long last!

Flying Donut, Lighthouse, Spelling Bee, Raspberry Toaster Pastry and KostumeKween tumble through the time stream toward the beginning of time. Their freefall is ungainly, uncoordinated, and painful as they bounce off the walls into each other.

"Knock it off, Bee!" shouts KK, rubbing the eye that moments ago had been invaded by Bee's elbow.

"Like I can help it! Ack! Sorry, 'House."

"Gnnnfff!" House grabs his stomach, the wind knocked out of him. The impact sends him hurtling into Donut's groin.

"Eeep!" Donut's voice is now a high-pitched squeak. He blacks out, but his body, also reeling from the impact, heads straight toward Bee, who is bounced toward RTP. Bee tries to stop his motion, his hands outthrust. Both hands land, as if targeted, on RTP's chest.

"Quit trying to cop a feel, ya damn geezer!" shouts RTP. Unfortunately, Bee's grasp unleashes RTP's powers and she both squirts prodigious amounts of goo and begins spiraling out of control, with Bee still hanging on for dear life.

Newt and Jonny ride the time flow comfortably, as if lying on their backs on a rubber raft in a drowsy stream.

"Newbies," says Newt.

"Tell me about it," says Jonny. He glances downstream and reluctantly readies himself. "Prepare for the landing, people!"

"Prepare?" asks House. "How does one--"

There is no time to finish his sentence as abruptly, they are all tossed heavily onto a four lane highway in the middle of rush hour traffic. Newt and Jonny casually stroll to the side of the road, miraculously able to avoid any vehicles.

The impact has given Donut back his consciousness, so he quickly grabs House, and flies him off the road. Bee manages to squeeze the proper breast to get RTP and himself to safety. KK sees the word "Peterbilt" heading straight for him, and he leaps into the air just in time.

"Thank you, powers of Kara. We won't forget you!" he says, straightening his Supergirl costume, and landing gracefully near the group. "So... what's for dinner? I'm starving."

"This is the beginning of time?" asks RTP, a little disappointed. "I thought it would be more low tech. This doesn't look any different from the 21st century. Where's the primordial soup?"

"Mmm... primordial soup..." Homers KK.

"This is the beginning of time, not the start of life on earth. That happens way later. The beginning of time is sort of like Reno, without the gambling."

"What's Reno without the gambling?" asks House.

"This place. C'mon. We need to get him to the hospital," says Jonny, pointing to Bee.

"I agree," says RTP. "We need to have him surgically removed from my breasts!!"

"Oops. My bad." Bee removes his hands reluctantly. "She used to be a guy, she used to be a guy..." he repeats under his breath.

They begin walking toward a small city on the horizon.

"Do we have to walk? These shoes are killing me," says RTP, her stiletto heels sinking into the mud.

"Yes. Your powers are useless here," says Newt.

"But... we all just flew a moment ago," says Donut.

"Don't you recognize a retcon when you hear one?" shouts Jonny. "All of your powers are useless, and always have been since you arrived, so you are to forget everything that happened prior to this moment!" Jonny glares at all the participants until they nod agreement. "Damn continuity freaks," he mutters.

"Is that why I'm dressed as a Bee again? I could've sworn I was turned into a Wasp awhile back, but nothing ever came of it."

"Stop with your nitpicking, and your inability to accept new things only to have them replaced by old things!"

"Do I still get to be called Flying Donut, now that I can't fly?" He begins to hover. "Wait a second... I can fly. A second ago, I couldn't, but--"

"The retcon was unpopular, so the retcon got retconned. In the beginning of time things change, you got it? It's the beginning. It's all experimental at this point. Some things work, others don't, nothing has consequences, except for those things that do have consequences, though there's no way to tell which is which because it's the beginning of time. Is that clear?"

"Please stop saying 'the beginning of time!'" says Bee.

"Do they serve food at the beginning of time?" asks KK, smiling innocently at Bee. "I have to watch my blood sugar, and it's been hours since I've eaten."

"Supergirl never had blood sugar problems," says House.

"Yeah, well, I ran into some Red Kryptonite last Tuesday. It gave me glucose problems, a trick knee, and turned me into a talking stalk of broccoli for 24 hours."

"Bummer."

"It happens."

"The hospital is just over that hill," says Jonny.

The group walks the last few steps and are treated to a wide vista of the city at the beginning of time. The large, white hospital building is clearly visible in the foreground.

"What's that?" asks RTP.

Running toward them is a giant red blob, being urged on by a frightened young man. Behind them is a murderous-looking gang of biker thugs.

"No idea," says Newt. "But they're coming straight for us."

To be continued...