You can't.
Here is my recent (May 21 to 23) email exchange with submissions@cgccomics.com:
Me: "Hello, The status of my comic I sent in over a year ago to get signed by Mr. Jackman is unretrievable. It was submitted over 16 months ago, which I suppose is why I can't query it on your consumer-facing website. Can you help me? This is in regards to Order Confirmation # CGC0000000000."
Customer Service: "Hello, Thank you for contacting us. It is my pleasure to assist you today with your inquiry. I was able to pull up your submission in our system and see that it has officially been signed by Hugh Jackman and is in the process towards completion. We apologize for the delay as we awaited for the signing to take place. You should be receiving shipping information regarding your submission shortly. Please let us know if we can further assist. Best regards"
Me: "Thank you. Can you further describe what you mean by “shortly”? I am not trying to be cheeky, it’s just that I’ve already waited 16 months to learn that it has just been signed."
Customer Service: "Hello, Thank you for your response. Your book has been signed, graded, and encapsulated and is just awaiting for the hologram sticker from Celebrity Authentics. Once we receive these stickers your book will be sent back to you. We appreciate your patience and understanding. Best regards"
So now I have to wait for a special sticker from Mr. Jackman's representative?
I do have more questions ("And where exactly are those stickers? Are they in Florida, or elsewhere?"), but I gave up. I will just wait, I suppose.
Oh wait, I did receive this email request at 9:01 pm on May 23:
"Hello, We’d love to hear what you think about your recent interaction with our Customer Service team. Please take a moment to answer one simple question by clicking either link below:
**Note: The agent's reply may be further down in your email Inbox (if messages are sorted from newest to oldest), Please check your inbox and spam folders for a reply before completing this survey.
How would you rate the support you received?
Good, I'm satisfied
Bad, I'm unsatisfied
Here’s a reminder of what the inquiry was about: Subject – 'My order with CGC regarding Hugh Jackman' with agent So-and-so.."
This is a poorly designed interaction from the corporation. Like, do their people know that such a request appears to originate from the "too soon" bucket of ignorance and that it hearkens to algorithmically-generated probing? Not personal at all. When I reach out to the Customer Service Department, I have a specific query, as do most people I suppose, and by grabbing me by the neck and pulling me in with an algorithmically-generated "how we doin'?" kissy-face gesture, not only do they generalize the particular, which is what good customer service does not do, but they also turn my inquiry about my service that I paid for with my own money, about themselves, about the corporation. That's way too soon. (I have not replied to their probe, and I have no intention of doing so. What a sorry way to interact with customers.)
