The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time

[Flemmings]

Wolverine

Wolverine's entire history is just one crappy retcon piled on top of another. How's this for a start? Wolverine was originally meant to be an actual wolverine, who had been turned into a human by the high evolutionary, and his claws were part of his gloves. Then the claws became implants created by Weapon X, and he was a mutant. Then he was meant to be Sabertooth's son. Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal. Recently, however, things have started getting even weirder for Logan.

 

It turns out Wolverine now isn't a mutant, but rather a Lupine, a human looking species that evolved in parallel to humans — but from wolves, not apes. And there are two tribes: one with blond hair, the other with dark hair, and they hate each other — which is why Sabertooth hates Wolverine so much. They're not the only two, either — other Lupine's include Wolfsbane, Feral, Wild Child and Thornn. So pretty much ever feral mutant isn't actually a mutant, but a wolf person. They're all being manipulated by an almost immortal elder Lupine called Romulus.

 

Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds." So to de-power him slightly, a retcon established that every time he dies, Wolverine has to fight the spirit of death to return to the living. Since WWI, he has been in constant combat with a being known as Lazaer (the worst anagram since Alucard), and his soul cannot return to his body unless he defeats Lazaer in limbo, each time. After some jiggerypokery with the resurrected version Shingen, Lazaer and Wolverine ended their constant battle — so if Wolverine dies again, it's for real.

:screwy:So does this mean Wolverine will be in the next Twilight movie?

 

Len Wein denies that Wolverine was supposed to be an evolved Wolverine. Watch X-men origins extra features. Yes the claws were part of his gloves at first. Chris Claremont (wolverine limited series, X-men writer and Sabertooth co-creator)intended to make Sabertooth Wolverine's father. However he was taken off of the X-men book before he could do it.

 

Yeah all of the Lupine BS was written by Jeph Loeb. The story also included the death of Sabertooth. It was one of the sorriest deaths in history.

 

I don't know about Lazaer, but I do know during Civil War he "died". When he died he was talking to Jean Grey until his body healed. He also talked about how Jean is always there when he dies. So I took it as him not being able to be killed.

 

 

[akaSteveRogers]

Wolverine

Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal...Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds."

 

This is about when Wolvie went from being a favorite character of mine to a character who I have come to dread.

[Logan510]

Wolverine

Wolverine's entire history is just one crappy retcon piled on top of another. How's this for a start? Wolverine was originally meant to be an actual wolverine, who had been turned into a human by the high evolutionary, and his claws were part of his gloves. Then the claws became implants created by Weapon X, and he was a mutant. Then he was meant to be Sabertooth's son. Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal. Recently, however, things have started getting even weirder for Logan.

 

It turns out Wolverine now isn't a mutant, but rather a Lupine, a human looking species that evolved in parallel to humans but from wolves, not apes. And there are two tribes: one with blond hair, the other with dark hair, and they hate each other which is why Sabertooth hates Wolverine so much. They're not the only two, either other Lupine's include Wolfsbane, Feral, Wild Child and Thornn. So pretty much ever feral mutant isn't actually a mutant, but a wolf person. They're all being manipulated by an almost immortal elder Lupine called Romulus.

 

Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds." So to de-power him slightly, a retcon established that every time he dies, Wolverine has to fight the spirit of death to return to the living. Since WWI, he has been in constant combat with a being known as Lazaer (the worst anagram since Alucard), and his soul cannot return to his body unless he defeats Lazaer in limbo, each time. After some jiggerypokery with the resurrected version Shingen, Lazaer and Wolverine ended their constant battle so if Wolverine dies again, it's for real.

 

Personally, the Weapon X origin is the best one. this other mess is just that.

 

You can thank Jeph Loeb for the whole Lupine thing

 

That explains everything

 

Yep, Wolverine suffered from a typical Loeb bollockfest.

Thanks a lot Jeph Loeb for ruining my favorite X-Man

 

 

To be fair, he was ruined wayyyyyy before Jeph Loeb ever got his mits on him.

[akaSteveRogers]

To be fair, he was ruined wayyyyyy before Jeph Loeb ever got his mits on him.

 

Yeah, everything post-Claremont.

 

[Logan510]

To be fair, he was ruined wayyyyyy before Jeph Loeb ever got his mits on him.

 

Yeah, everything post-Claremont.

 

 

I don't give Claremont a pass either when it comes to Wolverine...and don't get me started on another huge lame-o X-MEN retcon...turning Magneto into a Holocaust surviving, "freedom fighter"...

[Flemmings]

To be fair, he was ruined wayyyyyy before Jeph Loeb ever got his mits on him.

 

Yeah, everything post-Claremont.

 

 

I don't give Claremont a pass either when it comes to Wolverine...and don't get me started on another huge lame-o X-MEN retcon...turning Magneto into a Holocaust surviving, "freedom fighter"...

 

I actually like that idea. On another not I didn't start reading comics until the early 90's. So I don't know what the character was like before the retcon.

[Excelsior!-migration]

I am sorry, but the current Punisher FrankenCastle storyline is a whole new level of jump the shark.

[Marvelfangirl]

Wolverine

Wolverine's entire history is just one crappy retcon piled on top of another. How's this for a start? Wolverine was originally meant to be an actual wolverine, who had been turned into a human by the high evolutionary, and his claws were part of his gloves. Then the claws became implants created by Weapon X, and he was a mutant. Then he was meant to be Sabertooth's son. Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal. Recently, however, things have started getting even weirder for Logan.

 

It turns out Wolverine now isn't a mutant, but rather a Lupine, a human looking species that evolved in parallel to humans but from wolves, not apes. And there are two tribes: one with blond hair, the other with dark hair, and they hate each other which is why Sabertooth hates Wolverine so much. They're not the only two, either other Lupine's include Wolfsbane, Feral, Wild Child and Thornn. So pretty much ever feral mutant isn't actually a mutant, but a wolf person. They're all being manipulated by an almost immortal elder Lupine called Romulus.

 

Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds." So to de-power him slightly, a retcon established that every time he dies, Wolverine has to fight the spirit of death to return to the living. Since WWI, he has been in constant combat with a being known as Lazaer (the worst anagram since Alucard), and his soul cannot return to his body unless he defeats Lazaer in limbo, each time. After some jiggerypokery with the resurrected version Shingen, Lazaer and Wolverine ended their constant battle so if Wolverine dies again, it's for real.

 

Personally, the Weapon X origin is the best one. this other mess is just that.

 

You can thank Jeph Loeb for the whole Lupine thing

 

That explains everything

 

Yep, Wolverine suffered from a typical Loeb bollockfest.

Thanks a lot Jeph Loeb for ruining my favorite X-Man

 

 

To be fair, he was ruined wayyyyyy before Jeph Loeb ever got his mits on him.

Good point.