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Ya Know, Hellboy's Not Too Bad

43 posts in this topic

Jack dies of hypothermia.

Jenny dies of AIDS and Momma dies of cancer.

Malcolm was dead all along.

Norman had his dead mother in his basement.

Private Ryan lives.

Dorothy makes it back to Kansas.

Marty makes it back to 1985.

Clarence gets his wings.

James Bond gets the girl.

Rod Tidwell gets the money.

Ray Kinsella plays catch with his dad.

Roy Hobbs plays catch with his son.

Indiana Jones finds the Ark.

And the Holy Grail.

The Von Trapp family escapes to Switzerland.

Andy escapes Shawshank.

The Planet of the Apes is just Earth many years later.

Seabiscuit wins.

So does Daniel LaRusso.

The Cleveland Indians suck at first but then they win in the end... twice.

Rockford loses to Racine in the World Series.

John Nash wins a Nobel Prize.

Charlie wins the chocolate factory.

Rocky wins. Then loses. Then wins. Then Apollo dies and Rocky goes to Russia and wins again. Then he becomes an arm wrestling truck driver. Or something like that.

Rudy gets to play.

So do the Bears.

Frodo destroys the ring.

They find Nemo.

They shoot Old Yeller.

Princess Fiona becomes an ogre.

The Beast becomes a human.

Darth Vader is Luke's father.

Verbal Kint is Keyser Söze.

Neo is the one.

Soylent Green is people!

Rhett leaves Scarlett.

Rosebud was a sled

 

The chick in The Crying Game is really a dude

 

Neil Patrick Harris pays for the celebration meal for Harold and Kumar at White Castle.

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