It Begins

[Tnerb]

PLEASE... For something completely different, please read below. Any Comments. Any Critique. Any Thoughts, would all be appreciated.

 

It Begins: A Prologue

 

 

It was dark and quiet when the small flashes of light began to illuminate the murky cavern. Bits of blues, reds, yellows, and greens reflected across the dullish brown walls. The repetitive lights lasted fractions of a second before being swallowed by nothingness. A soft echo accompanied the breathing of a light wind while swirls of water rushed through the enclosed cave. The hushed silence came to an end. A crack of thunder ended it.

 

Reverberations travelled through the cavern, the resonance absorbed by the surrounding area exploded with white light. The eruption left a rift suspended mysteriously in the air. It festered like a freshly open wound, shimmered silver, and an oddity emerged. A dark liquid mass poured forth. Its complexion was that of a midnight sky, the color of its essence for it did not have skin.

 

Completely devoid of shape the shadowed heap poured to the barren ground. Solidifying like wet clay it continued until it was large enough to assume a form, a human form. It started with a torso then arms, legs, and head formed giving way to fingers, toes and eyes. The latter like black opals. He didn't stand, he simply formed standing. Once fully immersed into the cavern the hovering rift closed in silence.

 

He took in his surroundings, finally resting his sights on his newly fashioned hands, an unseen smile crossing his face. He was here, he was finally here. Feelings of joy threatened to overcome. He could not give in. He would not give in. He allowed the pain and anguish that delivered him to this point to cancel the sensation of joy he didn't want to feel. It was not good to feel any emotion, especially now. Now he had purpose.

A pool of water rested in front of him. Kneeling at the colorless pond his empty reflection stared back at him. The water broke when his fingers shattered its serenity. The prize he sought rested peacefully at the bottom. He couldn't touch it, but he could feel its power resonate. He looked through the ripples at it when a voice disturbed him.

 

"Are you going to finish it? Do you plan on taking the King's youngest son from him?"

 

"No" the shadow replied "I plan on killing the King"

 

"You tried before. What makes you think you can do it this time?"

 

Standing once more, his body twisted towards the emancipated voice. A passage full of blackened mist stared back at him. The light generated by the sounds could not pierce the long dark grotto. He stared towards the voice anyway. "Who said I tried the last time?"

 

A warm gust poured from the haze and swept through the cavern like hot breath. "I know what you saw, about the visions, it won't work."

 

"I'm not here to talk. I'm here to finish it, to do what no one will do."

 

The hidden voice replied. "I ask you not to. We saw the same vision. It will only end in disaster. What I saw..."

"What you saw?" the shadow cut him off. "What about what I have seen? What I've been through? Don't you remember? I came to you for help? You dismissed me. I had one choice. There were no alternatives."

 

"There are always choices."

 

"No! Not with this. I had one opportunity. I took it. I attacked him. Besides, do you truly think that King Nallus was upset that he lost his eldest son?" He paused remembering "It was because of you. You stepped aside and allowed this to happen."

 

"You presume too much King of Shadows" his voice composed, almost soothing, even after such an accusation.

 

"Speak no more Dragon Lord. Hide in your cave and watch what is about to unfold because one way or the other you will help me kill Nallus."

 

"I cannot help you kill King Nallus anymore then I could help King Nallus when he told me to kill you."

 

The Shadow King ignored the remark and faced the water again. A smile tried to appear again. Dismissing it he took a clear vial from inside his shadowed flesh and looked at what it contained. A grain of red sand rested at the bottom. A small pop sounded as the vial lid was pulled off. The cork dropped to the ground bouncing into the water. The red crystal was about to follow.

 

His outstretched arm reached over the lucid pond. Taking a deep breath he tipped the vial upside down. The speck bounced its way towards the opening. It slowed ever so slightly at the exit as if it had a choice to just stop. Losing that option it fell over the side reaching for the water.

 

A red encrusted stone waited at the bottom matching the color of sand. The rock glowed causing the surface of the tiny pond to ripple; the sand turned a blinding white. It hit the water and the reddish haze brightened. The Shadow King faded slightly. He did not feel the heat that emanated from the water. Bubbles boiled to the surface and winds erupted through the monstrous space.

 

A soft sigh erupted. "Any last words Ossmandis" asked the proclaimed King of Shadows.

 

Actions spoke for the Dragon Lord, a jet of fire flung from the darkened cave shooting straight for the pond. The Shadow King standing in front of it was inconsequential. However he did not move from his spot. The flames reached from behind stretching to embrace him. He continued to stare at the tiny particle mesmerized by the brilliance it generated, all the while ignoring the flames. There was no heat, no pain, he was shadows. The sand continued to drop as the water turned to steam.

The Shadow King stood in-between the folds of fire waiting patiently. He didn't wait long. The flames slowed, tethered by an unseen leash and held fast to the spot. Drops of water from the ceiling slowed to a stop never reaching the ground. The rushing current gelled like liquid ice.

 

Time slowed. The pebble of sand continued to fall effortlessly, drawn towards the stone until they both forged into one. A white light surrounded it once, then again and again in rapid succession. Flash after flash went quicker and quicker until the rock's outer shell burst.

 

It continued and quickened to one of constant illumination, the strobe effect died in the new lights brilliance. Daylight broke underground dispelling the darkness. The formed pieces revealed a jewel, a red multifaceted glowing orb. The last words spoken were muffled by the echo of the cave. They were not to be repeated, the Shadow Kings form obliterated by the light was already gone.

 

After he disappeared the cavern darkened. Pitch blackness swallowed the once beautiful kaleidoscope. The red jewel was gone, swallowed along with the light. Everything that was left behind was enveloped in darkness. Water trickled in filling the evaporated pond. Loosened rocks dropped to the ground and the Dragon Lord curled up to sleep. A war was coming and he would need to rest to stop it.

 

 

Thanks for Reading

 

Tnerb

 

You can reach me through the registry or through the chat boards.

 

See more journals by Tnerb

[kaholo1256]

Wow,

 

It's pretty good. Reminds me of the after affect in the George Martin Game of Thrones series in which the shadow the Red Queen (Melisandre) and King Stannis give birth to. Almost as if it were the story of its gaining sentience before continuing on with what it needs to do.

 

For me its a genre that I have only now started to look at following the success of Game of Thrones on HBO. I'd be down to read more.

 

K

[bagofleas]

I think it's wonderful!

 

I am a BIG fantasy novel junkie! I've read so many Fantasy authors, I tend to see similarities in the basic storylines. This tends to fall into that category, but still wonderful! I like the setup, throwing you into a situation with characters you haven't met yet and don't get the references they refer to yet.

 

It teases and intrigues just enough to make you want to read on and learn what events they are speaking of.

 

I will say the name Ossmandis is very close to the protagonist Ozymandias from the Watchmen graphic novel. Interesting.

 

Anyway, I like it and would definitely like to read more.

 

Feel free to continue dude...

 

[surfer99]

I've never seen Game of Thrones...I did like Lord of the Rings though. I agree with the points made by bagofleas, very creative, and a good read that leaves you wondering what happens next. If I had to offer any criticism it would be the overuse of descriptive language...too many adjectives mostly. Still, can't believe you came up with this...good stuff.

 

 

[bagofleas]

Yeah, I agree with Surfer99 on the overly descriptive point. I found myself going back and re-reading a couple of spots due to not quite retaining what was being described.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's great! Maybe just a little tweaking on the descriptions would make it flow a little more smoothly in the mind of the reader.

 

I, too began writing a novel a year or so ago, and got through the first three chapters. It is a cool concept that hasn't been done before, but I just haven't gotten back to it. You may inspire me to take it back up again.

 

Definitely keep it going!

[Professor Pecora]

Dear Tnerb,

 

Great stuff! I would have to concur with Bagofleas' first comment. However, I actually enjoyed the overly descriptive aspects! Being a lover of physics and "quantum physics," I totally understood where you were taking this story! Your adjectives drew me into the murky dark cavernous setting, and I could "feel" the energy of the Shadow King's entrance into the scene! If I could sum up what I read from you, it was like King Arthur and Fringe tied together; or the mid-evil age intertwined with advanced particle physics that we have not yet attained with our current technology.

 

There was also a part that reminded me of the movie Prometheus, when the red vile was cracked open, sort of like the alien drinking from the vile in the opening scene and then mutating/ disolving into the ocean!

 

I may be totally off from your original intent Tnerb, but this is my response from my perspective. I actually enjoyed reading it, and I encourage you to continue writing and developing your craft!

 

Best,

 

-Professor Pecora

[Studio 25]

Like the Professor said, I too enjoyed your description. I vividly saw this cave and the events transpiring within. It was interesting and leaving me with wanting to read more.

 

Good job

 

"Please sir.... can I have some more?"