Star Wars meets Star Trek meets Marvel

[bronze_rules]

Had one of those can't sleep nights as I had a fever.

While I lay there sleepless, I put together a story and replayed it a zillion times, as I often do to pass the time. Thought it was cool enough to share, as I usually don't recall my feverish hallucinations. Please don't expect prose here... just rehashing stream of consciousness in semi-screenplay mode for convenience.

 

That means, when you see

 

Picard: get out of here.

 

Just interpret it as, Picard says, "get out of here."

 

First person to make it all the way through gets a no prize!

 

 

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Prologue

 

Han Solo flees some unknown adversary and one of his ship's engines backfires. As it is stalled, he gets hailed by a rather large enterprise class starship. He's hailed by Captain Picard.

 

Picard: This is the U.S.S Enterprise...identify yourself.

Han Solo: Look Pal, I'd love to play let’s get to know each other, but we got something really dangerous on our tail, and we gotta get outta town fast, if you know what I mean.

Chewbacca: Growls

 

After Data confirms a large entity en route, Picard beams up an impressed Han and Chewbacca to the main deck.

 

Han: These are some nice digs. Look man, I gotta tell you that we're a bit short on time. You think we can get moving?

Picard: Why don't you relax, while my crew and I investigate?

Han: You got one giant literal death star headed your way, and they ain't in the mood to chat.

 

Another being mysteriously appears on the main deck.

 

Uatu: He is right, Captain. In fact, even worse danger lurks around the corner.

Picard: Who the hell are you, and how did you get on our ship?

Han: Whoever he is, you should listen.

Chewbacca: Growl.

 

Data inquisitively surveys the newcomer.

 

Data: Captain, although he appears to be here, I believe his actual density is much larger. This is a scaled projection of his true being.

Uatu: Astute, Lt. Cmdr. Data, as you can see I've updated your screens to give you a hint of the dangers.

 

Data quickly glances at the screen, furiously typing at the keyboard.

Data: Captain, he's right, there's another large entity near the first... our zoom capabilities have been enhanced… My God...

 

Picard, slack-jawed, sees an image on the screen of his worst fear... THE BORG.

 

Han Solo: I don't know what that thing is, but if it's anything like the death star, I suggest you go into hyper-drive, pronto.

Uatau: I concur. In addition, there is another entity en route... I'm afraid, that is even more powerful than either -- The eater of worlds ... the devourer of galaxies.

 

Everyone is now slack-jawed.

Picard: Until we figure this out, Number One, Warp 9, let's get the hell out of here.

 

The enterprise goes into warp, but as it leaves a cosmic trail of dust in its warp vapors, a silver blur appears to be following in pursuit.

 

The enterprise is significantly gone as the two large constructions of death approach the millennium falcon; one is white, and spherical, with a huge antenna beam capable of destroying worlds, another, a large black cube, littered with flashes of light. A third giant purple elliptical egg shaped orb appears. Inside we witness, the devourer of worlds-- Galactus.

 

Galactus scans his screens, a bit eagerly.

 

Galactus: These two entities will easily provide enough nourishment for weeks. You've done well, Norrin.

 

As Galactus maneuvers around various consoles and screens, an image pops up. It is Darth Vader and crew.

 

Darth Vader: Do not challenge the force.

 

Another screen Pops up:

 

Borg: You will be assimilated.

 

Annoyed, Galactus first kills the Vader popup. But after repeatedly trying to kill the Borg popup screen, he continuously gets another popup button with the words, "resistance is futile." Slightly relieved, he notices the green 'execute' button has flashed, indicating the entities are ready for consumption.

 

Galactus: It is you who will be assimilated, gnats.

 

A beam shoots out from Galactus' orb, and Galactus pleasantly begins to bathe in the energy absorbed from the entities, as their physical appearances seem to dim and wither. Suddenly, Galactus' eyes go wide, and he clutches at his throat. He kneels, and struggles, then realizing he's been duped, tries to hit the disengage switch too late. The transfer is complete, and already Galactus' features begin to transform -- Large black coils writhe and serpentine through his skin. A single eye viewer emerges over one eye.

The once purple orb turns black, with dozens of lights flashing on its surface. A new Galactus, almost possessed, stands.

 

A large screen viewer pops up. It is the Emperor Palpatine's wretched face, standing in front of billions of half borg/ half storm-trooper hybrids. The Emperor's face contorts....

 

Emperor: You thought to consume the dark side. But it is the dark side that has consumed you!

 

He laughs, a corrupt and old laugh, almost as old as time.

 

Meanwhile, Picard and Crew have arrived at starfleet headquarters, earth. The silvery pursuer stands off in the distance, surveying the region. After explaining the urgency of the situation to starfleet, an Admiral appears on screen.

 

Admiral: Picard, I've never seen you afraid of anything, and frankly.. if it was anyone else, I'd think twice before I put such a costly defense together. But as you can see, I think we're pretty well prepared. The screen switches to a view of thousands of starfleet's best ships, stationed in a protective sphere surrounding earth.

 

Picard, tugs on his shirt, has a slightly smug smirk, and then turns to Uatu.

 

Picard: Well then, Uatu, what do you think about that?

 

Another figure appears out of nowhere, on deck. It is a small, green, ancient being, holding a cane.

 

Yoda: He thinks as I do. If stay and fight you must, you shall be turned to dust.

 

Picard, a little annoyed at this point, turns to Uatu, and exclaims...

 

Picard: Just who the devil are all these characters, and what do you suggest?

 

By that time, the ravenous, new Galactus has heard from his faithful herald and is in pursuit of this new source of energy.

 

Yoda winces his eyes tightly, and then says...

 

Yoda: The battle will not be won today. Seek, we must, another way.

 

Yoda, barely opens his eyes, and peers directly beyond, though the ship -- almost as if he could directly see the surfer. Then closes his eyes again, and concentrates. Then, in a move that happens so quickly, time slows down to nanosecond scales, and we see the silver surfer blink. The moment his eyes open again. The planet has -- disappeared, and all that remains is a lifeless, empty planet-- grey and decayed, incapable of supporting one life form, less a civilization. Time speeds up again to real time, and the surfer, darts his head back and forth, then spins around the planet so quickly, it looks like an old Rutherford "Plum pudding" model of the atom. Befuddled, he enters straight into the desolate planet and sees nothing but dust and gases flowing about.

 

The silver surfer looks up into the heavens, and says,

 

Silver Surfer: Galactus, I have made an error. There is nothing here.

 

Moments later, Galactus appears, his hand transforming in and out of the inner shell. He cautiously analyzes the screen results. He passes through several billion scans in several billion dimensions of the region and comes to the same conclusion as Surfer.

 

Galactus: Indeed, Surfer, there is nothing there. How dare you waste the master's time--

but -- wait.

 

Galactus’ head turns...

 

Galactus: I sense a presence.

 

Galactus steps up his computers analyzing capabilities going over several trillion filters, until it almost ... almost... locks onto the garbled and masked image of the enterprise, armada, and planet earth...

 

Back aboard the enterprise, Yoda's eyes widen, he gasps and then sighs.

 

Yoda: I have failed.

 

At that moment, we turn back again to Galactus, who's fleeting image, disappears once again, buried in noise. Galactus turns in disgust.

 

Galactus: Surfer, let us be gone from this deceptive planet of ghosts. Galactus hungers, and cannot waste any more time here.

 

Galactus and the surfer depart at the speed of light.

 

Back on the enterprise, a startled Yoda, and others see the same screen, with the armada and earth, but no more Galactus. Yoda, shakes his head in bewilderment.

 

Uatu then speaks.

 

Uatu: No, you did not fail, friend, you bought me just enough time to find a suitable time-space string matrix, to replace both planetary space-time regions.

 

Data is furiously typing at the screen.

 

Data: It appears, we along with earth have indeed been translated into an alternate time-space matrix billions of light years from home.

 

Just then, the starfleet Admiral appears on the enterprise command screen.

 

Admiral: Picard, what the bloody hell just happened. I've got starfleet science division freaking out over here.

 

Picard: I don't really know just yet. But I do think we've made some allies today.

 

Uatu explains they wil need to hide out for a while till the coast is clear.

All parties shake and say goodbyes. Uatu sends Han and Chewbacca back to their falcon. Yoda departs, and lastly Uatu.

 

Han Solo looks beyond the millennium falcon's windows, at the giant, pillaged, lifeless masses left behind, and then shakes his head.

 

Han: I have no idea, pal, let's just get the hell outta here. The millennium falcon disappears in a trail of cosmic dust.

 

Epilogue:

 

An enormously scaled version of Uatu stands somewhere in the cosmos, pointing a finger at someone or something. In a scolding manner, he says...

 

Uatu: The multiverse is not your playground.

 

We see another giant figure with an impish smile. It is ...

 

Q: Oh C'mon Uatu, just having a little, what if, fun. I put everything back in order, you crank. If beings like us didn't innovate, you'd have nothing to observe. You gonna go cry to One Above All again?

 

Uatu shakes his head in annoyance.

 

 

edit. No prize to Gatchaman.

 

 

 

[Gatchaman]