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[porcupine48]

posts

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can a

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postman post

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if he feels

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like posting

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posts?

[porcupine48]

Sung to the song that Peter Griffin sings when

he is gay after turning

gay after being injected with gay in tha episode where he gets turned

gay,and he is singing about gloryholes?

Yeah,you know the one....

[porcupine48]

I think that they all like Brent.

[porcupine48]

It is lonely here when you guys are not at werk

[EvilAsh]

[Mike Bray]

[dover]

[dover]

break time!

[User 01001010]

Roadhouse!

[User 01001010]

[Mike Bray]

[dover]

[dover]

How to Give a Cat a Pill

 

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left

arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger

and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently

apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right

hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.

Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

 

 

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

 

 

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

 

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm,

holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws

open and push pill to back of mouth with right

forefinger.

 

Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

 

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of

wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

 

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between

knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls

emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with

one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop

pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

=

 

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill

from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and

repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered

figurines and vases from hearth and set to one

side for gluing later.

 

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie

on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open

with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

=

 

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to

humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply

Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood

from carpet with cold water and soap.

 

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another

pill. Open another beer Place cat in cupboard,

and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.

Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill

down throat with elastic band.

 

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard

door back on hinges. Drink beer.. Fetch bottle of

scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to

cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.

 

Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss

back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch

new one from bedroom.

 

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from

across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed

into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill

from foil wrap.

 

13. Tie the little 's front paws to rear paws with

garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table,

find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill

into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be

rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints

of water down throat to wash pill down.

=

 

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to

drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while

doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill

remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way

home to order new table.

 

15. Arrange for ASPCA to collect mutant cat from hell

and call local pet shop to see if they have any

hamsters.

 

[dover]

How To Give A Dog A Pill

 

 

1. Wrap it in bacon.

 

 

2. Toss it in the air.

 

[shortstack comics]

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie

on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open

with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

 

This is usually step one for me, and I give up after it.

 

How To Give A Dog A Pill

 

 

1. Wrap it in bacon.

 

 

2. Toss it in the air.

 

and if you do it often enough you don't even need the bacon each time.