• When you click on links to various merchants on this site and make a purchase, this can result in this site earning a commission. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to, the eBay Partner Network.

Are posts counts important to you?
1 1

Started by thomasdacat,

88,978 posts in this topic

dover

dover

Posted
Posted

It's so hot that...

• birds are using potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

• the trees are whistling for dogs.

• hot water now comes out of both taps in the sink.

• you can make sun tea instantly.

• you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

• you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

• you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

• you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

• you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

• the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

• the temperature drops below 95°F and you feel a little chilly.

• farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dover

dover

Posted
Posted

Dear Friend,

 

 

Assalamu-Alaykum,

 

 

My Name is Mr. Ahmed Tanja. I am writing from Burkina Faso-West Africa. I am a staff of one of the biggest Bank here.

 

I wish to contact you independently, no one is aware of this information. My reason for contacting you is to wire an abandoned $12,500,000.00 (Twelve Million five Hundred Thousand Dollars) that has remained unclaimed for 13 years in our Branch, to your account abroad. The owner of this account died since august, 1997.

 

Upon receipt of your reply indicating your interest in this transaction, I will send you full details on how the business will be executed.

 

Regards,

 

Mr. Ahmed Tanja

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dover

dover

Posted
Posted
13 million! :o Now you can afford the Action #1 of your choice,forget Having Neal Adams books you can have Neal Adams. :whee:

 

 

It sounds so real! and he chose me! How lucky can I be? WHat are the chances of all the people in the world he found me to give this money!!

 

 

 

:whee::whee::whee::whee:

 

:whee::whee::whee::whee:

 

:whee::whee::whee::whee:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dover

dover

Posted
Posted

 

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

 

 

=================================

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

 

 

===============

 

 

Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...

 

 

===============

 

 

Tech support: ; Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

 

 

===============

 

 

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates..

 

 

===============

 

 

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

 

 

==============

Customer: I have problems printing in red..

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

 

 

===============

 

 

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

 

 

===============

 

 

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: ! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work..

 

 

=============

 

 

Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

 

 

===============

 

 

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

 

 

===============

 

 

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

 

 

===============

 

 

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

 

 

===============

 

 

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

 

 

===============

 

 

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

 

 

===============

 

 

And last but not least...

 

 

Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dover

dover

Posted
Posted

Why women can't sleep

 

 

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?

Well , it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

 

 

d6d9511e.gif

 

 

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done,

a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

 

A man has only 2 balls. They consume all his thoughts, and he sleeps like a baby.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
1 1
Go to topic listing