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The Cash Grab of Wolverine



A (multi-part?) tirade against Marvel's epic blunder.

Greetings all! While I've chosen to utilize my own collections on the registry to post my numerous comic related thoughts, I finally had the utter misfortune of reading Marvel's remarkably unremarkable "Death" of Wolverine story, conveniently force fed into 4 overpriced issues. I have no idea where this is going, how long or how often I'll post about it, but watching my favorite comic character of all time get put out to pasture in such a disdainful manner makes, no requires, me to vent.

I'm not going to re-hash what has made me such an ardent Wolverine fan as I've already written about that extensively in my 1988, 2003, and Complete sets. Click on over to those if you'd like some further insight into what's created this two decade plus Wolverine fanatic.

So let's get one thing out of the way immediately -- we all know Wolverine won't stay dead. Even when Marvel announced this blatant cash grab back at the beginning of 2014, I'm sure most of you met this news with a passive yawn. "Oh, like Marvel hasn't killed a character before, only to bring him back 20 minutes later? Yeah, call me when the series is back to normal."

And like I've recently been thinking about, how many of us were taken in and wrapped up by the Death of Superman storyline? I know I was, and it turned out to be one of the greatest comic hoaxes ever pulled since DC clearly wasn't going to let one of their main cash cows ride off into the sunset. But at least Superman got a proper send off. The series was epic, Doomsday was bonafide evil, and Superman was forced to give it his all in the final confrontation.

Now let's contrast that with our dear Mr. Logan's "death":

- Recycled "bad" guy (Dr. Cornelius)

- Recycled plot (put adamantium in folks)

- Forced villain cameos

- Numerous blatant plot failures, including my favorites:

* Sabretooth goes from head of the Japanese underworld to Viper's pet, with the explanation, "I got locked up. mess happens." Right, it's that easy.

* Cornelius spending the GDP of Europe on everything EXCEPT some recent intel on Wolverine to makes sure he's even worth capturing. You know, since his whole scheme centers around our hero.

And on and on.

I ask, did Charles Soule intentionally want to make this the dumbest story ever written, or did he just assume that he'd off the long time fans no matter what he wrote? My guess would be the latter, but I'm betting Marvel didn't care either way since they assumed people would be buying no matter what.

And to borrow a thought I saw on another post from another site, how long did it take for Wolverine to go completely back to normal after the Microverse hit the Off switch on him? He has his 10 beers, and after they hit home he's right back to fending off bullet wounds, sword stabbings, and tomahawks to the head. Oh sure, Sabretooth put it on him for a bit, and then he got his fancy armor and was mean and shot some people as a contract killer for a bit. Deep stuff. Combine that with the molten adamantium death, and Marvel could've skipped the whole healing factor loss entirely. Doesn't anyone compare notes anymore?

But like we all know, he's not going to stay dead. I even bought the post-death books with the intention of reading them after I read the actual death storyline to see where this would go. But the death story was so atrocious that I'm probably just going to put them on eBay instead. Even going in knowing that I'd be displeased that my guy was meeting his end, I at least expected a story that wasn't just some juvenile circle of life nonsense.

But wait! I'm sure "Wolverines" will be WAAAAYYY better. Because no one has EVER brought a bunch of imposters to throne together to try and replace a beloved hero. Nope, this doesn't mirror the "he's not really dead!" Superman issues that lead up to his eventual return. Not one bit. Maybe Wolverine's return can go just like this:

- Heart attack! "Yo, Logan! Those fools don't look right, you should jump out of that parade!"

- "I'm in high school, and Wolverine!"

- "I've just emerged from this pile of rubble, I'm Wolverine!"

- "Grrrr, I'm a robot! And Wolverine!"

- "None of you clowns are Wolverine! I am! Ta da! Now where's my whiskey?! I'm go'n get to tore up!"

That's about all I've got for now. Frankly it feels good to finally put some of the thoughts that I've had swirling onto e-paper. In the end, agree or disagree, this is all just one man's opinion. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned.

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