The Best Place for Cheap Xmas Presents....

[joe_collector]

Is to work for Canada Post.

 

Yep, it looks like the "Hire an Ex-Con for Christmas" program is in high-gear, and I just started the insurance on one from the West Coast, and have written off another from the US.

 

I should note I have never had a comic shipment stolen by those thieving, low-brow, inbred malcontents at Canada Post, but my Xmas present Disney DVDs for my nieces and nephews have a pretty shady record. I can just imagine some fat-assed PO clerk coming home to her gap-toothed, dim-witted progeny, holding out my DVDs, and proudly exclaiming "look 'a what momma done brought's ya chillin".

 

So other than calling the CP bozos names, and noting that most look like that family from Deliverance, it's in my best interest to actually make some recommendations for shippers:

 

1) DO NOT telegraph what's in the package. Some people are either naive or stupid, and in one case, the seller listed EVERY DISNEY DVD in the package, right there on the insurance form. Needless to say, the package was ripped open, and all the prime DVDs were stolen.

 

I did some time at the PO one summer, and thieves count on quickly identifying potential goldmines and then scamming them. If you put something generic on the package, then it'll slide 99% of the time. For comics, I've seen some doozies, but my recommendation is for "Magazines" or my fave, "Used Magazines". Use that last one, and even Customs won't touch it.

 

2) Tape that sucker. If you're sending anything remotely valuable, then tape it up tight and make sure (especially with envelopes/bubble) that there is no open space large enough to rip, and then remove the item. Again, PO thieves count on quickness to do their dirty work, so making it tough on them is the best defense.

 

3) Double the insurance. At this time of the year, I don't recommend sending anything uninsured (especially cross-border), unless you like tossing your money away, and I'd even recommend for double insurance when you send anything. That way, when the Ex-Cons do reef your goods, you can hammer Canada Post hard. I'm beginning to wonder if some of the businesses I deal with willingly tempt these PO into theft, and actually make a bit of profit that way.

 

4) Privatize Canada Theft!. As I did last year, I emailed a few trough-swilling PO contacts of mine, to see how bad it is. Well, without going into details, let's just say each year is a new record for Canada Post and "lost and misdirected packages" (PO guys never call it theft) and irate calls and complaints are out of hand, but as they're a Crown Corporation monopoly with zero customer service, it's no skin of their noses. I feel monopolies work in some cases, but if CP was private, you can bet those PO guys found with roomfuls of stolen goods (true stories, as seen in national newspapers) wouldn't be back on the job the next day.

 

That's it for me, and to the Canada Post employees who continue to steal gifts from little children, please rot in hell.

[PovertyRow]

I can just imagine some fat-assed PO clerk coming home to her gap-toothed, dim-witted progeny, holding out my DVDs, and proudly exclaiming "look 'a what momma done brought's ya chillin".

 

Wow! I didn't realize Samuel Clemens was Canadian!

 

[Illiterati-migration]

I can just imagine some fat-assed PO clerk coming home to her gap-toothed, dim-witted progeny, holding out my DVDs, and proudly exclaiming "look 'a what momma done brought's ya chillin".

 

Wow! I didn't realize Samuel Clemens was Canadian!

 

[PovertyRow]

I can just imagine some fat-assed PO clerk coming home to her gap-toothed, dim-witted progeny, holding out my DVDs, and proudly exclaiming "look 'a what momma done brought's ya chillin".

 

Wow! I didn't realize Samuel Clemens was Canadian!

 

 

Yo! You gotta problem? Mama mia!

[Illiterati-migration]

I can just imagine some fat-assed PO clerk coming home to her gap-toothed, dim-witted progeny, holding out my DVDs, and proudly exclaiming "look 'a what momma done brought's ya chillin".

 

Wow! I didn't realize Samuel Clemens was Canadian!

 

 

Yo! You gotta problem? Mama mia!

 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

[Illiterati-migration]

JUST KIDDING! SUCKER!

 

Oh man, I totally had you going that time! I rule.

[PovertyRow]

JUST KIDDING! SUCKER!

 

Oh man, I totally had you going that time! I rule.

 

Errr - had I accepted your apology in a most serious vein - well - THEN that last post would be appropriate. ::sigh:: Leave it to the yutes ("What was that? You said 'yutes?'" ..... "Oh, pardon ME your honor...YOUTHS") err - leave it to the YOUTHS to overplay their hand and have to tinkle before the first beer is finished!

 

PS - how be ya, Khaosity?

[Illiterati-migration]

JUST KIDDING! SUCKER!

 

Oh man, I totally had you going that time! I rule.

 

Errr - had I accepted your apology in a most serious vein - well - THEN that last post would be appropriate. ::sigh:: Leave it to the yutes ("What was that? You said 'yutes?'" ..... "Oh, pardon ME your honor...YOUTHS") err - leave it to the YOUTHS to overplay their hand and have to tinkle before the first beer is finished!

 

PS - how be ya, Khaosity?

 

 

Pov, ask me what the key to comedy is, please?

 

Pov: "Khaos? What's the key--"

Khaos: "TIMING!"

 

>ba-dum-bum!<

[joe_collector]

Do you two work for the postal service?

[Illiterati-migration]

And I'm fine... provided the Chiefs don't let me down here in the last quarter.............

 

YOU need a new avatar too, don't you? Hmmm.

 

[Illiterati-migration]

Do you two work for the postal service?

 

Hmmm. YOU need a new avatar, too.

 

[PovertyRow]

Do you two work for the postal service?

 

No. I am the Northern California Region Network Operations Technical Lead for a major company that employs over 140,000 people internationally. I learned everything I know about computers self-taught or on the job. I built my first computer in 1979 - an S-100 bus system with an Aztec Z-80 card, 4 16K ram boards, three hard sectored floppy drives and a customized CP/M OS. I spent several years as a senior engineer on the then #1 application Lotus 1-2-3 for DOS versions 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 3.5, 4.0 and initially 1-2-3 for Windows. I have also taught networking to such entities as Harvard University, Fleet Bank and the Army Corp of Engineers. I graduated from High School with a C- to D average and never went to college. Perhaps I AM a insufficiently_thoughtful_person. Who knows.

[Illiterati-migration]

Do you two work for the postal service?

 

No. I am the Northern California Region Network Operations Technical Lead for a major company that employs over 140,000 people internationally. I learned everything I know about computers self-taught or on the job. I built my first computer in 1979 - an S-100 bus system with an Aztec Z-80 card, 4 16K ram boards, three hard sectored floppy drives and a customized CP/M OS. I spent several years as a senior engineer on the then #1 application Lotus 1-2-3 for DOS versions 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 3.5, 4.0 and initially 1-2-3 for Windows. I have also taught networking to such entities as Harvard University, Fleet Bank and the Army Corp of Engineers. I graduated from High School with a C- to D average and never went to college. Perhaps I AM a insufficiently_thoughtful_person. Who knows.

 

 

Come on... try'er on... You know you want to...

[PovertyRow]

Do you two work for the postal service?

 

No. I am the Northern California Region Network Operations Technical Lead for a major company that employs over 140,000 people internationally. I learned everything I know about computers self-taught or on the job. I built my first computer in 1979 - an S-100 bus system with an Aztec Z-80 card, 4 16K ram boards, three hard sectored floppy drives and a customized CP/M OS. I spent several years as a senior engineer on the then #1 application Lotus 1-2-3 for DOS versions 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 3.5, 4.0 and initially 1-2-3 for Windows. I have also taught networking to such entities as Harvard University, Fleet Bank and the Army Corp of Engineers. I graduated from High School with a C- to D average and never went to college. Perhaps I AM a insufficiently_thoughtful_person. Who knows.

 

 

Come on... try'er on... You know you want to...

 

Aunt Betty?

 

::edited to be more appropriate to me personally - ain't got no Aunt Betty::

[Illiterati-migration]

[PovertyRow]

 

And look Majorosity - next time I chime to JC let me be. Do not try to dissuade such convincing evidence of my non-moronosity.

[Illiterati-migration]

 

And look Majorosity - next time I chime to JC let me be. Do not try to dissuade such convincing evidence of my non-moronosity.

 

 

Jooooinnnnn uuuuussssssss.

[PovertyRow]

 

And look Majorosity - next time I chime to JC let me be. Do not try to dissuade such convincing evidence of my non-moronosity.

 

 

Jooooinnnnn uuuuussssssss.

 

She is too....sweet...must resist....must....must....Spock! SPOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Illiterati-migration]

 

Come on! She's italian, she's sassy, she's wise, and she don't take no guff!

[PovertyRow]

 

Come on! She's italian, she's sassy, she's wise, and she don't take no guff!

 

But can she COOK?