How did having kids change your collecting/reading? 0

[Reno McCoy]

I don't normally share personal information like this, but at this point we're looking for as much information as possible. See, my wife and I are discussing whether or not we want to have kids. Now, I'm not crazy, so please don't misunderstand my question. I know it's not a matter of having a family vs. having a collection. However, my wife and I are on the fence about the whole kid thing and are looking to get a better idea of what we'd be getting into.

 

Reading, collecting, and writing are all big parts of my life, and I'm curious, for those with kids, how did the new baby change your habits? I'm open to hearing how kids changed your life in general, obviously, but this is a comic site, so I thought I'd focus on that one thing we all share.

[G.A.tor]

I can say, with 100% conviction, that NOTHING is better than having children... no matter the trials and tribulations, or the sacrifices etc... NOTHING equals it!

[Ogami]

Having kids changes EVERYTHING in your life, not the least of which is time, money, energy, desires.

 

 

You need to find some friends who have kids, aged baby to ten, and spend some time around them. Either you'll get the bug or you won't.

 

Having kids isn't for everyone, including probably half the people who went ahead and had them anyway.

[Reno McCoy]

None of our friends have kids, but one is due in two weeks. We're hoping that spending time around them for a few months will show us the way.

 

I'm sure we'd be great parents, I really do. But right now, for the first time in my life, I'm happy in all ways: health, security, new home, good job, friends, money to buy/read/travel. Everything's clicking on all cylinders. Part of me/us doesn't want to change that because it feels so nice.

[Ogami]

None of our friends have kids, but one is due in two weeks. We're hoping that spending time around them for a few months will show us the way.

 

I'm sure we'd be great parents, I really do. But right now, for the first time in my life, I'm happy in all ways: health, security, new home, good job, friends, money to buy/read/travel. Everything's clicking on all cylinders. Part of me/us doesn't want to change that because it feels so nice.

 

good, spend time with those friends. offer to keep the baby for 3-6 hours after a few months to let them have a break. Listen to what they tell you about their energy level, etc.

 

What you are feeling is absolutely NORMAL. Most guys want to maintain the joy of couplehood as long as they can. There are no quick, short, message board answers, but keep looking for answers. If you're a part of a church, offer to keep kids in the nursery or in Sunday School. Join a local neighborhood orginazation to spend some time with kids. Get some starter kids, ask some advice of people you trust and admire as good parents...

[Dale Roberts]

I would agree with Rick. My little girl is the biggest blessing in my life.

 

I don't get to fish as much anymore, I don't get to read comics, I haven't slept much in two years, don't get to watch much tv anymore, with the exception of Dora the Explorer and Backyardigans, but I don't care.

 

Being a dad is great.

[VintageComics]

I agree with the fact that having children is an unrivaled joy.

 

I stopped reading for several years when my children were younger. As they got older they got into reading themselves. We regularly have trips to the local comic shop and they share in my imagination and enthusiasm. The growth of children is where it's at....going from one stage to another.

 

R.

 

 

[nik]

I can say, with 100% conviction, that NOTHING is better than having children... no matter the trials and tribulations, or the sacrifices etc... NOTHING equals it!

 

Nuff said

 

There is nothing in this world that even comes close too as my kids as they are my life and my sole purpose of living.

[Mr. Zipper]

I can say, with 100% conviction, that NOTHING is better than having children... no matter the trials and tribulations, or the sacrifices etc... NOTHING equals it!

 

Nuff said

 

There is nothing in this world that even comes close too as my kids as they are my life and my sole purpose of living.

 

Ditto.

 

And to answer your question, the hobby will take a backseat. You won't have nearly as much time to read, go online and generally obsess over the collection.

 

You won't have the time, money or energy that you used to have. With a 2 and a half year old and a 6 month old, I am usually whipped by 9 o'clock at night. There's never a rest or chance to recharge... the toddler keeps you running all day, and the baby keeps you up all night.

 

Kids are a life changer in every respect. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[joe_collector]

However, my wife and I are on the fence about the whole kid thing and are looking to get a better idea of what we'd be getting into.

 

Being "on the fence" is hardly what I'd recommend for starting a family. It's a huge adjustment and you have to be ready or you really shouldn't jump in.

 

Important things to consider:

 

After maternity, who's going to look after your child? What are the costs and do your schedules support drop-off/pick-up?

 

Is the employment situation solid? A baby adds a whole bag of stress, lost sleep and worry, and at first, you'll need some understanding at work.

 

Can your finances support it? Is your work flexible enough to take a few sicks days for a kids with the flu?

 

Can you handle it physically and mentally? When we had our first child, it was scary thinking that this little person depends on you totally, and cannot survive without you. Make a single mistake, like going to pick up the phone during bath-time or not having adequate protection from stairs, sharp objects, electrical outlets, etc. and.... It's a monstrous responsibility the first few years.

 

But then again, kids are a joy, and I separate my life as pre- and post-children. I never look back and wonder my choices anymore, as I can't bring myself to regret anything that brought me together with my kids.

[Dick Pontoon]

Having a kid has been great and I can't imagine life without him.

 

You should listen to NoJoner. Talk to your friends with kids and spend time with kids. It's not a decision to be made lightly, and to be honest, posing the question on a comic chat board to a bunch of people you probably don't know all that well strikes me as a bit odd.

[Mr. Zipper]

You should listen to NoJoner. Talk to your friends with kids and spend time with kids.

 

Good advice, however, I'm not sure anything can truly prepare you. When it's someone else's kid and youy have the freedom to go home to a quiet house... it can't begin to compare to when you are really stuck with the little buggers.

 

[G.A.tor]

I would agree with Rick. My little girl is the biggest blessing in my life.

 

I don't get to fish as much anymore, I don't get to read comics, I haven't slept much in two years, don't get to watch much tv anymore, with the exception of Dora the Explorer and Backyardigans, but I don't care.

 

Being a dad is great.

[G.A.tor]

I can say, with 100% conviction, that NOTHING is better than having children... no matter the trials and tribulations, or the sacrifices etc... NOTHING equals it!

 

Nuff said

 

There is nothing in this world that even comes close too as my kids as they are my life and my sole purpose of living.

[G.A.tor]

None of our friends have kids, but one is due in two weeks. We're hoping that spending time around them for a few months will show us the way.

 

I'm sure we'd be great parents, I really do. But right now, for the first time in my life, I'm happy in all ways: health, security, new home, good job, friends, money to buy/read/travel. Everything's clicking on all cylinders. Part of me/us doesn't want to change that because it feels so nice.

the joy that kids can bring (and you have to do your part) will surpass your current happiness 1000 fold... (Thumbs u

[lizards2]

I changed what I read, so that I could read to them, and instill a lifelong attraction to books. No bigger favor you can do for your kids than teach them to love reading. The ability to read makes school easy for them, and love of reading increases their knowledge, which also makes school easy. I plan to take up reading comics again in retirement, when the kids are all done with or in college.

 

Kids are big adjustment - they are time consuming if you do it right, and they will change your life dramatically for the better. If you can't commit to donate most of your spare time while kids are in the house, don't have them. If you do it wrong, and are selfish, you are not doing anyone any favors, including the kids and the people that have to deal with your ignored kids.

[G.A.tor]

I changed what I read, so that I could read to them, and instill a lifelong attraction to books. No bigger favor you can do for your kids than teach them to love reading. The ability to read makes school easy for them, and love of reading increases their knowledge, which also makes school easy. I plan to take up reading comics again in retirement, when the kids are all done with or in college.

 

Kids are big adjustment - they are time consuming if you do it right, and they will change your life dramatically for the better. If you can't commit to donate most of your spare time while kids are in the house, don't have them. If you do it wrong, and are selfish, you are not doing anyone any favors, including the kids and the people that have to deal with your ignored kids.

very true... you have to "want" to have kids, but the rewards you get from them will far exceed any current state of single happiness (IMO)

 

we live through our kids...we live on through our kids...and as some have mentioned, we live for our kids

[Monstro]

first off don't listen to people that say you need to be ready. i've got news for you. you will never be ready.

 

as far as comics, my only change is storing them out of reach from the kids.

[VintageComics]

first off don't listen to people that say you need to be ready. i've got news for you. you will never be ready.

 

as far as comics, my only change is storing them out of reach from the kids.

 

Monstro is right for a change.

 

 

You will never be prepared.

 

All you need to do is be prepared to share, really. What happens is that after you have your first child you change. As they need you, you adapt. The thought of carrying a child through the night might seem scary to the outsider or non parent but as a parent you cherish it. I gladly woke up for almost every feeding, carried every child through the night so my wife at the time could get her rest etc etc and worked a full time job...and never had a single regret.

 

It's an inexplicable change that happens to a person and you never go back to being the same person again...in a good way.

 

Sure they take up a lot of time, money, patience, get into trouble, destroy things, hurt you etc.

 

You know what? It's one of the only things in life that give lasting peace that you can't find anywhere else...not in wealth, commodities or any other type of relationship. Like any form of giving, it pays the greatest dividends. The more you give the more it pays you back.

 

It's not even "giving anything up"...it's simply a long term investment that pays you back.

 

For example, my son is going to be the greate drummer on the planet. Think of how many Action #1's that'll buy me!

 

 

R.

[Reno McCoy]

It's not a decision to be made lightly, and to be honest, posing the question on a comic chat board to a bunch of people you probably don't know all that well strikes me as a bit odd.

 

Maybe a little odd. But don't think I'm basing my decision on what I learn here. I like to research everything I do. I don't like to go into anything unprepared. Hearing how others have been changed, whether I know them or not, is good information to have. This is just one of 100s of ways I plan to get the inside scoop on child rearing.

 

 

 

Thanks for the comments everyone. I've heard from others that your priorities change completely when you have a child, so my guess is I won't even care about the things I do now, but it's hard to see or prepare for that change until it happens.

Edited November 4, 2008 by Reno McCoy