By Jimmers 0

[porcupine48]

Don't be too rough please.....

 

.....g'day......

 

 

 

as the sirens whistle by

and the sound of

wet wheels on pavement

revolves into an

urban lullaby

the generators gently

mock the sound

with a turning hum

the white scream

of airbrakes

as compressors

shake

and rattle my widows

an encore of idling engines

as the rain patters on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/

[mrwoogieman]

 

 

...sung to the tune of Aqualung by Jethro Tull....

 

 

[Beau]

I actually really liked that. I know jack about poetry, but that reads very well, and I could picture the scene you were painting with your words.

 

I also liked the term 'urban lullaby'.

[porcupine48]

 

...sung to the tune of Aqualung by Jethro Tull....

 

 

May be!It may have been playing while I wrote it.Found this penned

on the back of a hand flyer from an "all ages" gig.The show happened about

a year and a half ago,may have come home and slapped on the LP,who

knows?Will gladly take as a compliment though,and thank you for taking

the time to read and respond!

B,thanks man,means alot,sincerely!

[thirdgreenham]

Don't be too rough please.....

 

.....g'day......

 

 

 

as the sirens whistle by

and the sound of

wet wheels on pavement

revolves into an

urban lullaby

the generators gently

mock the sound

with a turning hum

the white scream

of airbrakes

as compressors

shake

and rattle my widows

an encore of idling engines

as the rain patters on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/

 

Are you French?

 

[porcupine48]

no...pourquoi?

are you being mean?

[thirdgreenham]

No, sorry, not trying to be mean. Just unsuccessfully trying to be funny. That wasn't bad at all. (thumbs u

 

Andy

[GL1]

Nice work. Not something I am too familiar with (I live in the country), but it definitely gives you a sense of nighttime in the city.

[trmoore54]

Good one Jimmers!

 

Here's a similar vibe from Tom Waits...one of my all time faves...

 

Ninth and Hennepin

 

Well it's Ninth and Hennepin

All the doughnuts have names that sound like prostitutes

And the moon's teeth marks are on the sky

Like a tarp thrown all over this

And the broken umbrellas like dead birds

And the steam comes out of the grill

Like the whole town's ready to blow...

And the bricks are all scarred with jailhouse tattoos

And everyone is behaving like dogs

And the horses are coming down Violin Road

And Dutch is dead on his feet

And all the rooms they smell like diesel

And you take on the dreams of the ones who have slept here

And I'm lost in the window, and I hide in the stairway

And I hang in the curtain, and I sleep in your hat...

And no one brings anything small into a bar around here

They all started out with bad directions

And the girl behind the counter has a tattooed tear

One for every year he's away, she said

Such a crumbling beauty, ah

There's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix

She has that razor sadness that only gets worse

With the clang and the thunder of the Southern Pacific going by

And the clock ticks out like a dripping faucet

til you're full of rag water and bitters and blue ruin

And you spill out over the side to anyone who will listen...

And I've seen it all, I've seen it all

Through the yellow windows of the evening train...

 

[Comicopolis]

[porcupine48]

No, sorry, not trying to be mean. Just unsuccessfully trying to be funny. That wasn't bad at all. (thumbs u

 

Andy

All good sir!

Thanks for looking all!Tom,I am now going to listen to the Waits song!

[porcupine48]

[TupennyConan]

Good stuff Jimmers.

[porcupine48]

Thank you sir.

[RockMyAmadeus]

It's quite good, Jimmers.

[thehumantorch]

rattles my widows?

 

That has gotta hurt. Didn't know you were the poetic sort Jimmer.

Lay some more on us.

[followtheleader]

BYU?

[mikenyc]

Jimmers the wordsmith!

 

I like it, we need a resident poet. (thumbs u

[cloudofwit]

rattles my widows?

 

That has gotta hurt. Didn't know you were the poetic sort Jimmer.

Lay some more on us.

 

Did you mean windows? (typo? :shrug:)...or is it widows? Either way, a great creation. Like others have said, it IS poetic. That's no small thing. Most can't do it.

 

Jimmers!

Edited March 1, 2011 by cloudofwit

[porcupine48]