OT: Unhappy kids

[VintageComics]

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

There is a balance to be struck as there is no black and white formula for every possible scenario.

 

For example, sometimes doing nothing and letting them reap what they sow is also discipline and yet requires no intervention on the part of the parent.

 

In this case, the photograph in the auction has nothing to do with discipline. It's absolutely fail on the part of the parents and if i were those kids I'd feel betrayed by it.

[VintageComics]

Kids deserve better, especially from the people who's job it is to protect them.

 

You have kids Dice? I do, I can't imagine laughing in their face while they are crying.

 

They absolutely deserve better. They deserve tough, fair love.

 

I don't think this is as bad as you're making it out to be. Embarrassing, yes, but punishment is supposed to suck.

 

You're tossing in a lot of assumptions. Sorry I had to make fun of you publicly for you to realize it.

 

 

Yes I was tossing in a ton of assumptions, I denoted that earlier. However, when you strip it all the way down, and I mentioned this at least twice in this thread. I can agree with all of the discipline the parents laid down in this situation SHORT of posting that photograph.

 

That photograph, and its posting speaks volumes about the parent.

 

It's incredibly naive for a parent to post that picture and assume NO ONE will see it. Most likely he was trying to get some attention and pump up the bids, not thinking it would matter much, or be seen much.

 

 

Yup.

[Park]

 

Your conclusions are built on assumptions that cannot be proved.

 

I tend to think that these apparent 6 and 8 year olds are NOT being exposed to "world wide ridicule", and I GUARANTEE you, there are lots and lots of kids who would have HAPPILY chosen this punishment over other, much more physical forms of punishment.

 

I know I would.

 

Anyone imagining these kids will be permanently scarred because of this is ludicrous, at best.

 

Please, this has all the hallmarks of poor and lazy parenting. Give your kids a dangerous toy that they should not have in the first place and then sell off all their possessions to pay for damage that would have been avoided if you just put your beer down and taught them about life instead of inflicting life upon them.

 

Perhaps you should read the BIO of "The Star Wars Kid" first before making up your mind as to how ludicrous it is to think that people can be scarred by this type of thing on the internet.

 

Or perhaps the student who committed suicide when he was outed on the internet.

 

Things posted on the internet are there FOREVER, and these two would not be the first to have permanent damage done to them.

 

I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. I am sure these kids would prefer this punishment over physical punishment but there are DOZENS of ways to teach these children a lesson that don't involve EITHER.

 

The lazy, the stupid, and the immature parents jump to either physical punishment or humiliation on this magnitude in place of real parenting. Mature, caring adults realize that you can teach your children life lessons that lead to them being responsible adults with neither of the punishments you mention being employed.

 

It's harder and it takes longer to teach your kids lessons instead of reacting this way, and it takes more work to treat your kids with respect, but showing them how respect works is the quickest way to them showing respect themselves.

 

These kids are getting shown FEAR right now. They are probably being shown anger on a pretty good scale as well. These aren't 16 year olds who got into a car accident and have to pay the bill. They are small and young children that could be taking lessons from this that would serve them in their entire life, but instead they get to learn that their dad pulled a giant move on them instead.

 

Lazy parents are the ones who treat their kids as inmates and see themselves as the warden. I am about as strict as they come with my kids, but I always do it with love, understanding, and with the thought in my mind that I am trying to teach my kids something to help them through life.

 

You are, of course, completely correct. I assume that most of us posting here have raised children and I'm really surprised at the "old school, tough love" from some of the members. Before you meltdown on my response to this, consider that nothing is as simple as you want it to be. The primary trouble for kids is parents who don't spend time with their children unless they do something wrong and then the parents explode with "discipline". This creates a childhood trauma (which is often repeated over and over) and that is one of the primary causes of mental illness later in life.

 

It's not as simple as "kids need lots of consequences and discipline". They need love much more than that.

 

Having been heavily disciplined by my dad and having no other real relationship with him besides that, I agree one bazillion percent with all of the above. I've got 4 smart, good, trustworthy kids and it's because me and their mom have found a decent balance between discipline and love. They get lots of discipline and they get lots of love but most of all they get lots of time with us.

 

Shame will only destroy their self esteem. This is shameful. The pic was completely unnecessary and is lazy parenting. Anybody that says other wise just doesn't know what they're talking about.

 

(thumbs u

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

Posting a picture on an Ebay auction is not discipline. Shame is not discipline. Trying to publicly humiliate your children is not discipline.

 

Knowing that all of the above is not discipline is called being a parent.

 

Post that Ebay auction without that picture and I giggle along with the rest of you and move on. Dumb kids, dumb parents...whatever.

 

There is no good reason to post that picture.

 

 

[RockMyAmadeus]

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

There is a balance to be struck as there is no black and white formula for every possible scenario.

 

There is NO "balance" between love and discipline, as if they are on opposite sides of a scale. They are not.

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. Those who don't love their children ignore them. HOW you discipline them is not my point.

[RockMyAmadeus]

 

Your conclusions are built on assumptions that cannot be proved.

 

I tend to think that these apparent 6 and 8 year olds are NOT being exposed to "world wide ridicule", and I GUARANTEE you, there are lots and lots of kids who would have HAPPILY chosen this punishment over other, much more physical forms of punishment.

 

I know I would.

 

Anyone imagining these kids will be permanently scarred because of this is ludicrous, at best.

 

Please, this has all the hallmarks of poor and lazy parenting. Give your kids a dangerous toy that they should not have in the first place and then sell off all their possessions to pay for damage that would have been avoided if you just put your beer down and taught them about life instead of inflicting life upon them.

 

Perhaps you should read the BIO of "The Star Wars Kid" first before making up your mind as to how ludicrous it is to think that people can be scarred by this type of thing on the internet.

 

Or perhaps the student who committed suicide when he was outed on the internet.

 

Things posted on the internet are there FOREVER, and these two would not be the first to have permanent damage done to them.

 

I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. I am sure these kids would prefer this punishment over physical punishment but there are DOZENS of ways to teach these children a lesson that don't involve EITHER.

 

The lazy, the stupid, and the immature parents jump to either physical punishment or humiliation on this magnitude in place of real parenting. Mature, caring adults realize that you can teach your children life lessons that lead to them being responsible adults with neither of the punishments you mention being employed.

 

It's harder and it takes longer to teach your kids lessons instead of reacting this way, and it takes more work to treat your kids with respect, but showing them how respect works is the quickest way to them showing respect themselves.

 

These kids are getting shown FEAR right now. They are probably being shown anger on a pretty good scale as well. These aren't 16 year olds who got into a car accident and have to pay the bill. They are small and young children that could be taking lessons from this that would serve them in their entire life, but instead they get to learn that their dad pulled a giant move on them instead.

 

Lazy parents are the ones who treat their kids as inmates and see themselves as the warden. I am about as strict as they come with my kids, but I always do it with love, understanding, and with the thought in my mind that I am trying to teach my kids something to help them through life.

 

You are, of course, completely correct. I assume that most of us posting here have raised children and I'm really surprised at the "old school, tough love" from some of the members. Before you meltdown on my response to this, consider that nothing is as simple as you want it to be. The primary trouble for kids is parents who don't spend time with their children unless they do something wrong and then the parents explode with "discipline". This creates a childhood trauma (which is often repeated over and over) and that is one of the primary causes of mental illness later in life.

 

It's not as simple as "kids need lots of consequences and discipline". They need love much more than that.

 

Having been heavily disciplined by my dad and having no other real relationship with him besides that, I agree one bazillion percent with all of the above. I've got 4 smart, good, trustworthy kids and it's because me and their mom have found a decent balance between discipline and love. They get lots of discipline and they get lots of love but most of all they get lots of time with us.

 

Shame will only destroy their self esteem. This is shameful. The pic was completely unnecessary and is lazy parenting. Anybody that says other wise just doesn't know what they're talking about.

 

(thumbs u

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

Posting a picture on an Ebay auction is not discipline. Shame is not discipline. Trying to publicly humiliate your children is not discipline.

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

[ComicConnoisseur]

Almost 500 more views since I took the first screen shot five minutes ago!

 

With nine days to go...

 

With that many views, I give it until Monday before some news agency picks this up and that picture is all over the internet. Debates will rage about parenting from people that have no clue all because this insufficiently_thoughtful_person mother/father decided that putting their picture on the auction was a good way to "discipline" them. Dumbasses.

 

Here is to hoping I am completely wrong and that does not happen.

I bet their local news, CNN and Fox News by this time next week, I would even suspect Department of Children and Families would get a call and become involved, these parents just opened up a whole can of warms by going public on Ebay.

Their lives will become scrutinized and they will have to ask themselves was it worth it for $300 dollars worth of repairs for a bathtub?

[kenm]

The parents should have put a pic of the beyblades in action style poses destroying the tub, that would of made the point.

[Loki]

I'm curious... If the older boy wasn't visibly upset, but had a similar stoic expression to his brother, would this discussion have occurred?

[Park]

 

Your conclusions are built on assumptions that cannot be proved.

 

I tend to think that these apparent 6 and 8 year olds are NOT being exposed to "world wide ridicule", and I GUARANTEE you, there are lots and lots of kids who would have HAPPILY chosen this punishment over other, much more physical forms of punishment.

 

I know I would.

 

Anyone imagining these kids will be permanently scarred because of this is ludicrous, at best.

 

Please, this has all the hallmarks of poor and lazy parenting. Give your kids a dangerous toy that they should not have in the first place and then sell off all their possessions to pay for damage that would have been avoided if you just put your beer down and taught them about life instead of inflicting life upon them.

 

Perhaps you should read the BIO of "The Star Wars Kid" first before making up your mind as to how ludicrous it is to think that people can be scarred by this type of thing on the internet.

 

Or perhaps the student who committed suicide when he was outed on the internet.

 

Things posted on the internet are there FOREVER, and these two would not be the first to have permanent damage done to them.

 

I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. I am sure these kids would prefer this punishment over physical punishment but there are DOZENS of ways to teach these children a lesson that don't involve EITHER.

 

The lazy, the stupid, and the immature parents jump to either physical punishment or humiliation on this magnitude in place of real parenting. Mature, caring adults realize that you can teach your children life lessons that lead to them being responsible adults with neither of the punishments you mention being employed.

 

It's harder and it takes longer to teach your kids lessons instead of reacting this way, and it takes more work to treat your kids with respect, but showing them how respect works is the quickest way to them showing respect themselves.

 

These kids are getting shown FEAR right now. They are probably being shown anger on a pretty good scale as well. These aren't 16 year olds who got into a car accident and have to pay the bill. They are small and young children that could be taking lessons from this that would serve them in their entire life, but instead they get to learn that their dad pulled a giant move on them instead.

 

Lazy parents are the ones who treat their kids as inmates and see themselves as the warden. I am about as strict as they come with my kids, but I always do it with love, understanding, and with the thought in my mind that I am trying to teach my kids something to help them through life.

 

You are, of course, completely correct. I assume that most of us posting here have raised children and I'm really surprised at the "old school, tough love" from some of the members. Before you meltdown on my response to this, consider that nothing is as simple as you want it to be. The primary trouble for kids is parents who don't spend time with their children unless they do something wrong and then the parents explode with "discipline". This creates a childhood trauma (which is often repeated over and over) and that is one of the primary causes of mental illness later in life.

 

It's not as simple as "kids need lots of consequences and discipline". They need love much more than that.

 

Having been heavily disciplined by my dad and having no other real relationship with him besides that, I agree one bazillion percent with all of the above. I've got 4 smart, good, trustworthy kids and it's because me and their mom have found a decent balance between discipline and love. They get lots of discipline and they get lots of love but most of all they get lots of time with us.

 

Shame will only destroy their self esteem. This is shameful. The pic was completely unnecessary and is lazy parenting. Anybody that says other wise just doesn't know what they're talking about.

 

(thumbs u

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

Posting a picture on an Ebay auction is not discipline. Shame is not discipline. Trying to publicly humiliate your children is not discipline.

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

Yes it is my opinion. I thought that was obvious. What does your question have to do with the discussion though?

 

BTW,The answer is: only if you are my wife.

 

 

 

 

[VintageComics]

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

There is a balance to be struck as there is no black and white formula for every possible scenario.

 

There is NO "balance" between love and discipline, as if they are on opposite sides of a scale. They are not.

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. Those who don't love their children ignore them. HOW you discipline them is not my point.

 

Wrong. You can actually love something too much. You can also not love it enough. You can discipline something too much. You can also not discipline it enough.

 

Discipline without enough love is punitive punishment.

[VintageComics]

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

You're ridiculous if you don't think posting a picture of your kids on the internet while punishing them is not ridiculous.

 

[Park]

I'm curious... If the older boy wasn't visibly upset, but had a similar stoic expression to his brother, would this discussion have occurred?

 

I would hope so. It didn't bug me necessarily because he was crying but that their picture was there in the first place.

[binarysunrise]

Discipline does not make murderers. Quite the contrary.

 

So you're saying murderers make discipline?

 

[Ted Knight]

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

You're ridiculous if you don't think posting a picture of your kids on the internet while punishing them is not ridiculous.

 

 

Thanks for stepping in here, man. Everything you've written is dead on.

 

RMA: If someone thinks that punching their kids in the face is good parenting, that's not just their opinion, they are wrong. I take it to an extreme because your logic is flawed. I think your intentions are good, you're just coming off way to one side of this thing.

 

DiceX: I know it's fun to laugh at people and look down at them but it's not always the best call. Especially, when we're talking about the well-being of children. Somethings you shouldn't take chances with. Feel free to act like a bully again if you like but I think this should be an exception.

[RockMyAmadeus]

 

Your conclusions are built on assumptions that cannot be proved.

 

I tend to think that these apparent 6 and 8 year olds are NOT being exposed to "world wide ridicule", and I GUARANTEE you, there are lots and lots of kids who would have HAPPILY chosen this punishment over other, much more physical forms of punishment.

 

I know I would.

 

Anyone imagining these kids will be permanently scarred because of this is ludicrous, at best.

 

Please, this has all the hallmarks of poor and lazy parenting. Give your kids a dangerous toy that they should not have in the first place and then sell off all their possessions to pay for damage that would have been avoided if you just put your beer down and taught them about life instead of inflicting life upon them.

 

Perhaps you should read the BIO of "The Star Wars Kid" first before making up your mind as to how ludicrous it is to think that people can be scarred by this type of thing on the internet.

 

Or perhaps the student who committed suicide when he was outed on the internet.

 

Things posted on the internet are there FOREVER, and these two would not be the first to have permanent damage done to them.

 

I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. I am sure these kids would prefer this punishment over physical punishment but there are DOZENS of ways to teach these children a lesson that don't involve EITHER.

 

The lazy, the stupid, and the immature parents jump to either physical punishment or humiliation on this magnitude in place of real parenting. Mature, caring adults realize that you can teach your children life lessons that lead to them being responsible adults with neither of the punishments you mention being employed.

 

It's harder and it takes longer to teach your kids lessons instead of reacting this way, and it takes more work to treat your kids with respect, but showing them how respect works is the quickest way to them showing respect themselves.

 

These kids are getting shown FEAR right now. They are probably being shown anger on a pretty good scale as well. These aren't 16 year olds who got into a car accident and have to pay the bill. They are small and young children that could be taking lessons from this that would serve them in their entire life, but instead they get to learn that their dad pulled a giant move on them instead.

 

Lazy parents are the ones who treat their kids as inmates and see themselves as the warden. I am about as strict as they come with my kids, but I always do it with love, understanding, and with the thought in my mind that I am trying to teach my kids something to help them through life.

 

You are, of course, completely correct. I assume that most of us posting here have raised children and I'm really surprised at the "old school, tough love" from some of the members. Before you meltdown on my response to this, consider that nothing is as simple as you want it to be. The primary trouble for kids is parents who don't spend time with their children unless they do something wrong and then the parents explode with "discipline". This creates a childhood trauma (which is often repeated over and over) and that is one of the primary causes of mental illness later in life.

 

It's not as simple as "kids need lots of consequences and discipline". They need love much more than that.

 

Having been heavily disciplined by my dad and having no other real relationship with him besides that, I agree one bazillion percent with all of the above. I've got 4 smart, good, trustworthy kids and it's because me and their mom have found a decent balance between discipline and love. They get lots of discipline and they get lots of love but most of all they get lots of time with us.

 

Shame will only destroy their self esteem. This is shameful. The pic was completely unnecessary and is lazy parenting. Anybody that says other wise just doesn't know what they're talking about.

 

(thumbs u

 

No, anybody who says otherwise doesn't agree with YOU.

 

(thumbs u

 

If you love your children, you will discipline them. There is no "balance", because they are not mutually exclusive terms.

 

I think some people around here think "discipline" = abuse.

 

Posting a picture on an Ebay auction is not discipline. Shame is not discipline. Trying to publicly humiliate your children is not discipline.

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

Yes it is my opinion. I thought that was obvious. What does your question have to do with the discussion though?

 

BTW,The answer is: only if you are my wife.

 

 

 

 

Just making sure that everyone understands what is opinion and what is fact. That sometimes gets lost around here.

[Silvers24]

Simple fact of life:

"Parents" raise there childeren differently in each house hold, in every country.

 

Some good, some decent, some just plain .

 

If good, child can still be corrupted, if decent, could go eitherway, if , amazingly, it can still go eitherway.

 

Opinion is opinion.

 

To many, people think mom raised me wrongly (For not going to school, spoiling me, etc)

So be it, but fact is, if she didn't raise me, I would of had a very different life, and possibly a very bad one. And I would most likely have turned out worse then my bio mother.

 

My bio mother thinks she is doing fine raising her kids (that have not been taken from her)

I disagree. But, they do have food and a home. But she is not the family my half sisters and brothers deserve.

 

Nothing can be done.

And I can only hope they grow up to be decent.

 

And while the mother that raised me....can be a person_without_enough_empathy as well, and had treated me badly at times (When I was younger) I love her more then anything. Because I never let anything bad come between us.

 

Which also brings me to this: The kid eventually...goes on their own road. They eventually chose how things are dealt with. They want to hold a grudge against their parents, then fine. Can't do anything about it, they also eventually decide how their life is going to be.

I could of been a little and held everything against my mom. And eventually torn our relationship apart. Would of been easy, still is. But I won't.

 

 

Dunno if this is of any sense, or what. But hey, that's my 2 cents.

[RockMyAmadeus]

 

That's your opinion. Not everyone agrees. Are you right, and anyone who disagrees wrong?

 

You're ridiculous if you don't think posting a picture of your kids on the internet while punishing them is not ridiculous.

 

 

Thanks for stepping in here, man. Everything you've written is dead on.

 

RMA: If someone thinks that punching their kids in the face is good parenting, that's not just their opinion, they are wrong. I take it to an extreme because your logic is flawed. I think your intentions are good, you're just coming off way to one side of this thing.

 

 

I am the MASTER at using hypebole to prove a point, but we're not talking about physical abuse. SOME kids NEED to be punched in the face (though they are mostly mid teens) before they do something worse.

 

My aunt's foster son had a friend (16). One day, back in the mid 70's, he raised his voice to her, in front of her house, and then pushed her. She turned around and cold-cocked him right over the porch railing.

 

He never, ever, EVER raised his voice to her again. And yes, they remained friends for a long time after that.

 

All that aside, there is no "flawed logic" because there is NO logic being discussed in the first place. This is all simply personal opinion, most of it built on assumption.

 

DiceX: I know it's fun to laugh at people and look down at them but it's not always the best call. Especially, when we're talking about the well-being of children. Somethings you shouldn't take chances with. Feel free to act like a bully again if you like but I think this should be an exception.

 

Yes, the poor little darlings and their precious egos. One mustn't chastise children, or we might damage their fragile and delicate psyches.

 

[icefires]

Emotions certainly run high when it comes to parenting.

[ComicConnoisseur]

If people don`t think kids have internet access, then they are certainly out of the loop,when those kids go to school Monday morning they will be made fun of by other classmates. Even their teachers will probally be talking about this Monday morning.

 

[Silvers24]

Emotions certainly run high when it comes to parenting.

People think they have a right to tell another person how to raise their child.

 

It's simply not true.

 

Suggestions perhaps, ideas, in the end the parent makes the decision. You can't force it.

Unless they do something bad enough that the law has to come in, then it will be dealt with.