Well I Finally Got to See The Punisher.....

[joe_collector]

And what a steaming pile of .

 

Please note that there are SPOILERS below, so keep this in mind before claiming I ruined this POS crapfest for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, due to some positive comments on this movie, and the fact that a few buddies needed a night out, I went to see it on the cheap. I went in hoping for a good time, if not a good movie, but we left laughing at its sheer ineptitude, and wondering if it beat out Daredevil and The Hulk as the worst post-2000 Marvel movie.

 

This movie has done what I thought to be impossible, and used the Punisher to create one of the most boring, predictable and downright laughable action movies of all time. It was so slow that fellow movie-goers were nodding off, gabbing to stay awake, and the interest level in the movie decreased exponentially as the minutes ticked by. A bad action movie I can take, but The Punisher was soooooo slow, plodding and outright boring, that it's unforgivable.

 

Pacing was by far the biggest issue, followed by a total lack of logic in terms of the characters and the world they inhabit. Anyone who's seen the movie knows it's slow as dirt, and I'd recommend the writer and director be forced to watch Aliens, Road Warrior, Predator and Lethal Weapon a few hundred times, just to make sure they know that an action movie needs ACTION and an INCREASING PACE.

 

Now the logic issues are too great in number to cover off here, but in any movie, the audience needs to have a sense of consistency. This doesn't matter if it's a kid who got bit by a radioactive spider, or some guy who had his family wasted by gangsters. It all comes down to creating a consistent and logical environment, and not "breaking the rules" you have set.

 

In the first few minutes, we see Frank undercover, taking out some thugs, and later on, his fellow cops throw him a party. The streets seem relatively clean, and there is no evidence of a "Mad Max" environment where there is no law and order.

 

So why then from the point where Frank makes his reappearance and lets everyone knows he's alive, do we not see a freaking cop? Frank is mowing down baddie after baddie, yet law enforcement seems to take the week off. He's killing and torturing people in his building, destroying cars, blowing up boats, wasting people in public, and leaving a wide lane of destruction in his wake, but not a single cop?

 

And that scene where he walks up to the TV cameras and announces his return for the world to see was totally lame. I kept being reminded of Rigg's line in Lethal Weapon, "Gives us the advantage Cochise, they think I'm dead.". There is no reason to have this scene, and it actually loses Frank the advantage of anonymity.

 

Frank also has all manner of high-tech devices, yet in a huge office building, he can gun down several guys in the front lobby - in plain view, and leave no evidence? Does he have powers like Matt in Frailty, where he can take down walls of security cameras, make witnesses forget, and just walk around like a ghost? I mean, he made a TV appearance, and everyone seems to know his face, yet on the newscast, they have no idea of who might have done it.

 

Travolta also changes from intelligent criminal to drooling insufficiently_thoughtful_person as the movie progresses. At the beginning, he assigns a hit the right way, using a highly-trained group of assassins, who are also armed to the hilt. They sweep the area, and kill everyone, including Castle. Of course, Frank recovers, and while it's a bit unbelievable that these assassins could kill everyone else, yet somehow shoot Castle multiple times in non-essential areas, we can let this slide.

 

Now later in the movie, after Frank is killing his lackies, and stealing, blowing up or giving away hundreds of millions of his dollars, Travolta wonders what to do. Hmmmmm... He knows where Frank is, he knows he has no real defenses or support, but instead of sending in another crack team of assassins, or torching the building, or just blowing it up, he proceeds to send in lone hitmen, one after another, even after Frank proved he was extremely dangerous, and sent part of Travolta's initial "island assassin" team to the morgue. This is obviously done to give Frank some one-on-one fights, but it makes absolutely no sense.

 

Even after Frank kills a few hitmen, and 4 guys do show up, they proceed to leave one lone guy to wait for and kill him. One guess what happens to that poor sap? The movie also brings up the old "don't bring a knife to a gunfight" adage, but the unarmed Russian would have lasted 2 seconds against any other action hero. Knock, knock - BLAM!

 

There are so many other logic holes (including that ultra-lame "trick Travolta into killing his friend and wife" , that I could waste days typing them out, but those should suffice.

 

Now as for the rest, the dialogue was cheesy in parts, but better than Daredevil. The direction and editing were especially bad, with some horribly jarring cuts and virtually no continuity or logic from scene to scene. The writing?

 

In terms of the movie itself, there are some other problems. His little "apartment family" was grating to say the least, slowed this supposed "action movie" to a grinding halt, and by the middle of the movie, I was praying that Travolta would just torch the place. The "T-shirt Origin" was so lame and telegraphed, that part of the audience laughed when he picked up the shirt. Jeeze Louise, make the skull the symbol of his armed forces unit, or anything, just not some stupid novelty T-shirt.

 

As noted above, Travolta gets Alzheimer's in the middle of the movie, and provides absolutely no challenge to Punny, and is possibly the dumbest and least imposing villain in action movie history. Jane actually doesn't come off too bad as the Punisher, and along with Rebecca RS, are the only two surprises of the movie. But with what they have to work with, this is damning praise indeed.

 

2/10, with 1 of those marks being for Rebecca RS.

 

If you haven't seen it yet, don't. If you take a chance on renting this snoozer, be sure to take some caffeine pills first.

[Smokinghawk]

Total agreement, and I'll add that the violence was sickening and psychotic. Jane said that the violence was "so comic-book" that he and the other actors were laughing as they filmed the scenes. But I kept watching the disgusting sadism and thinking, "THIS is funny?!" and I felt truly embarrassed to be in the theatres seeing it. And I felt humiliated that the director thought I was supposed to find it entertaining to see that kind of sickness.

[ArAich]

It was so slow that fellow movie-goers were nodding off, gabbing to stay awake

 

I hate it when people talk in the movie theatre...

[joe_collector]

I hate it when people talk in the movie theatre...

 

Sure, but in this case, it was forgivable.

[joe_collector]

Total agreement, and I'll add that the violence was sickening and psychotic. Jane said that the violence was "so comic-book" that he and the other actors were laughing as they filmed the scenes. But I kept watching the disgusting sadism and thinking, "THIS is funny?!" and I felt truly embarrassed to be in the theatres seeing it.

 

I felt the same way, and although violence usually doesn't bother me, Frank's sadist tactics made him just as much a villain as Travolta's baddie.

 

If someone thought this was "funny" they need therapy ASAP.

[FFB]

I liked the movie a lot. I thought it was great. To compare it to Daredevil is ludicrous, but that's your right as an American. I won't repeat the reasons I liked it. To each his own.

[dam60]

Okay, due to some positive comments on this movie, and the fact that a few buddies needed a night out, I went to see it on the cheap. I went in hoping for a good time, if not a good movie, but we left laughing at its sheer ineptitude, and wondering if it beat out Daredevil and The Hulk as the worst post-2000 Marvel movie.

 

JC - I haven't seen the movie yet, but there is NO WAY that this movie could have been worse than the Hulk. Talk about a complete bomb!! Daredevil had Jennifer Garner

[joe_collector]

JC - I haven't seen the movie yet, but there is NO WAY that this movie could have been worse than the Hulk. Talk about a complete bomb!!

 

Okay, maybe I'm going a bit too far, but I will say this:

 

Although I'd have to be dragged kicking and screaming to either, I'd pick Daredevil as the lesser of two evils.

 

DD failed miserably, but at least it tried. The Punisher is just one big plodding mess.

[DawgPhan]

I liked the movie a lot. I thought it was great. To compare it to Daredevil is ludicrous, but that's your right as an American. I won't repeat the reasons I liked it. To each his own.

 

I agree...this movie rocked! Of course I like movies that entertain and this movie delivered...Lets see

 

Great Movie Checklist

 

Kill everyone....check

Blow Sh*t up....check

Hot chick........check

Cool Car........check

 

whats not to like....if you want to see a bad movie go see Kill Bill 2 a waste 9.00 bucks

[FFB]

Eh, I thought Kill Bill 2 was a vastly superior movie to Punisher. I enjoyed them both immensely, but KB2 was a better piece of filmmaking IMO.

 

I liked the movie a lot. I thought it was great. To compare it to Daredevil is ludicrous, but that's your right as an American. I won't repeat the reasons I liked it. To each his own.

 

I agree...this movie rocked! Of course I like movies that entertain and this movie delivered...Lets see

 

Great Movie Checklist

 

Kill everyone....check

Blow Sh*t up....check

Hot chick........check

Cool Car........check

 

whats not to like....if you want to see a bad movie go see Kill Bill 2 a waste 9.00 bucks

[BlahBlahBlah-migration]

I liked the movie a lot. I thought it was great. To compare it to Daredevil is ludicrous, but that's your right as an American. I won't repeat the reasons I liked it. To each his own.

 

I agree...this movie rocked! Of course I like movies that entertain and this movie delivered...Lets see

 

Great Movie Checklist

 

Kill everyone....check

Blow Sh*t up....check

Hot chick........check

Cool Car........check

 

whats not to like....if you want to see a bad movie go see Kill Bill 2 a waste 9.00 bucks

 

Not to be a jerk or anything, but honestly, your opinion sucks.

[joe_collector]

Not to be a jerk or anything, but honestly, your opinion sucks.

 

 

I love when people tell it like it is.

[chrisco37]

Great Movie Checklist

 

Kill everyone....check

Blow Sh*t up....check

Hot chick........check

Cool Car........check

 

whats not to like....if you want to see a bad movie go see Kill Bill 2 a waste 9.00 bucks

 

If you change "great Movie Checklist" to "Stuff I don't Want to See in a Movie", you'd have my checklist! (Sans the Hot Chick, course).

 

Diff'rent Strokes for Diff'rent Folks.

 

Loved the review, JC! The movie is everything I knew it would be.

[paradave-migration]

I tend to agree, the pacing was terrible, but I did like the movie overall. Although comic movies will never be perfect, you have to relaize, they are going for the almighty buck. To do that they have to appeal to a larger audience than just comic fans. I am just happy to see any comic movie on the screen.

 

Daredevil: I liked it. Ben is the best, and Jennifer has never looked better. Colin was a great bullseye, even better than the comic bullseye IMHO.

 

Hulk: hard to find anything to like in this one, the hulk seemed WAY to animated to me, in this day and age, they could have done better.

 

Spidey.... loved it, and spidey 2 looks even better.

 

Punisher: action was great, when it was there, the movie was to wordy(is that a word?) I really like John T.

 

Hellboy: pretty good movie, loved the effects, didnt know much about the storyline, I dont read the comic.

 

League of Extrodinary Gentlemen: loved the movie, I am a huge Sean Connery fan, but I understand that it didnt follow the storyline of the comic though.

 

 

Anyway, I love this board, just joined today and look forward to talking with you guys.

 

Dave

[comicwiz]

And what a steaming pile of

 

Please note that there are SPOILERS below, so keep this in mind before claiming I ruined this POS crapfest for you.

 

 

Thanks for the laugh

 

I haven't read past the first two sentences in your post, and decided early on that this is going to be a DVD or PPV outing.

[THE_BEYONDER]

WELCOME TO THE BOARDS!!!

[Kevin Boyd]

I tend to agree, the pacing was terrible, but I did like the movie overall. Although comic movies will never be perfect, you have to relaize, they are going for the almighty buck. To do that they have to appeal to a larger audience than just comic fans. I am just happy to see any comic movie on the screen.

 

Daredevil: I liked it. Ben is the best, and Jennifer has never looked better. Colin was a great bullseye, even better than the comic bullseye IMHO.

 

Hulk: hard to find anything to like in this one, the hulk seemed WAY to animated to me, in this day and age, they could have done better.

 

Spidey.... loved it, and spidey 2 looks even better.

 

Punisher: action was great, when it was there, the movie was to wordy(is that a word?) I really like John T.

 

Hellboy: pretty good movie, loved the effects, didnt know much about the storyline, I dont read the comic.

 

League of Extrodinary Gentlemen: loved the movie, I am a huge Sean Connery fan, but I understand that it didnt follow the storyline of the comic though.

 

 

Anyway, I love this board, just joined today and look forward to talking with you guys.

 

Dave

 

Welcome to the boards.

 

Don't worry, Joe Collector hates all of the movies you mentioned as well.

 

BTW ffb, he isn't an American. Neither am I.

 

K

[deathlok]

I agree with your points, the punisher movie was not as good as it could have been. Such as shame when Avi believes that because it's Marvel it will do well.

 

You also didn't mention the guns, furniture, etc., left behind in the family island house. Castle comes back after several months, based on beard growth, to find the family house has been boarded up and abandoned. Yet his father's cherished gun collection is still intact as well as much of the furniture.

[Ze-man]

Yup, agree too.

Not the best effort I would have liked to seen, terrible pacing, and I just cant buy Travolta anymore.... after Battlefield Earth. no matter how good he might fit a role

 

 

Makes me wonder, will we ever see a Marvel Crossover movie made ever?

 

Marvel Teamup Special X-Men/ Spiderman

 

Could Punisher ever be in a Spidey movie?

 

 

 

With so many of the Marvel titles getting made now, the public might just be ready for a little Marvel Universe crossover continuity

[Wally's Comics]

Makes me wonder, will we ever see a Marvel Crossover movie made ever?

 

You think somthing like this would be automatic,

but there is all those movie rights to think off.

 

I liked the Punisher, didn't love it,

but I liked it for what it was - a testostrone kick in the nutz!!

 

6 out of 10 is where I ranked it.