Friendship vs. Collecting

[Mr. Zipper]

Where do you draw the line between a "friend" and your own collecting/selling interests? Here's a story to clarify...

 

Recently at an autograph show, a "friend" found a group signed photo that HE KNEW I needed for my collection and it was inscribed "To Steve" (my name.) As one of the guys in the photo is dead, this was a great find and the price was about one half of what it would go for on ebay.

 

After he shows me the item, he turns to the dealer and tells him that he was buying it.

 

I was not happy with him, and told him so. I asked him what kind of friend he was when he knew the photo was something I needed for my collection and it meant nothing to him other than an item to resell (he is a dealer and already has multiples of this signed photo in his personal collection.) He swore up and down that it was for his collection and not for resale. But that was just a lie.... given his track record, I'd be a fool to think this item will not be re-sold soon.

 

So, it boils down to this: Do your friends come first or your collection? Would you pass up a bargain that you could resell for a few hundred bucks profit if you knew a friend needed it, or is it everyman for himself when it comes to collecting?

[Apotheosis]

For me it would come down to being a friend first. I find stuff all the time that my friends are looking for, but can't find. I pick it up and if it's cheap I just give it to them. If it's not then I just get them to pay me my cost on it. I believe it's the whole Karma thing... if you keep doing nice things for friends it will come around to you in the end.

 

That said... it may be different if I was a dealer of some kind. Your business is important as well as being a friend and passing up the chance to keep customers supplied with what they need and pass up on a good profit is hard. I still think that it would come down to the prices though. Honestly... if you were a comic dealer and your friend needed an AF 15 (who doesn't) and you had a chance to pick one up at half the going rate would you let your friend buy it or would you pick it up for resell? Business is hard to pass on.

[Stronguy]

So, it boils down to this: Do your friends come first or your collection? Would you pass up a bargain that you could resell for a few hundred bucks profit if you knew a friend needed it, or is it everyman for himself when it comes to collecting?

For me, friends come first. Real friends, that is. Obviously this guy has put a price of "a few hundred bucks" on you friendship. I would think you are not truely as close to this person as you may think.

[Fan4Fan]

Heck, I've done more charitable things for folks that are less than friends.

 

For example, I turned a fellow message board member (another board) on to the now sadly departed Black Panther series and told him how great one of the arcs was. He couldn't find it and couldn't find it. Finally, after several months, I did find it... and an issue that we both wanted that I originally thought wasn't part of the story.

 

Long story short, I sent him the whole thing at cost and put that one issue on to my want list.

 

Friends like the one you cited aren't.

 

Thanks,

Fan4Fan

[sborock]

Friendship and family first!

 

Everything else is a far second............

[OldGuy]

Friends first, every time.

[NewtSamson]

Not many of my Friends are as into comics as I am so I never have to worry about that. I went nuts at a modern comics 50 cent sale a year ago and picked up around 10 bucks worth of comics to give to a friend who used to be into comic. I figured it'd be nice to have a comic buddy. A year later he hasn't picked up or read a single issue I bought him. There's some Waid Fantastic Fours and some Ennis Punishers in there so it's his loss really.

[FFB]

Friends come first. That guy is an @ss. He's supposedly your friend? With friends like that, who needs enemies?

[Foolkiller]

I doubt anyone (or almost anyone) is going to answer here that their collection comes first.

 

For me as well, my friends come first... for me, especially recently, comics have become more of a social outlet rather than simply pursuing books. I used to go to cons, wander for about two or three hours, talk to a few dealers and leave. Now I have much more fun and have developed a couple of pretty good friends associated with these boards and the comic book hobby in general. It's great because we have a common passion, but also other interests besides comics too.

 

As for the actual question, there's almost nothing that I feel I have to have in a collection that can't later be obtained elsewhere. I know there are pieces out there that are "one of a kind" or exceptionally difficult, but I'm not in the market for those. If I see a piece for a friend, I'll either pick it up for him or at least alert him to it.

 

I'm also of the opinion that unless real money was spent, just giving it away makes more sense. Most of my friends insist on at least paying my cost basis back, but to me, the money is irrelevant if you can help somebody out with their collection... all I ask is that they do the same for someone else.

 

In the situation presented, I'd be peeved too... and it's not something I would do to someone else.

[Mr. Zipper]

That said... it may be different if I was a dealer of some kind. Your business is important as well and passing up the chance to keep customers supplied with what they need and pass up on a good profit is hard.

 

Well, I WAS a customer of his as well. I bought a lot of stuff from him over the years... then we started chatting online and on the phone as friends... and we'd meet up when we went to shows. But he lost me for the sake of a making a few hundred bucks. He beat me out on that deal, but I'll never buy from him again.

 

Honestly... if you were a comic dealer and your friend needed an AF 15 (who doesn't) and you had a chance to pick one up at half the going rate would you let your friend buy it or would you pick it up for resell? Business is hard to pass on.

 

Understood and a good point. But I'd hope my friend would just buy the AF 15 and not rub it in my face first.

[BassGMan]

Your "friend" sounds like a selfish guy. However, good friends are hard to come by. "Good" being the key word. I wouldn't write him off as a friend but I would certainly know him better after this and I would hold back on telling him certain things in the future. BUT, as a friend he may be very good in other areas. Maybe he listens to you when you are down, maybe he tells good jokes, maybe he is fun to drink with or whatever. It just may change the friendship a little, but that's the way it goes. I've had things like this happen to me before and it does change things. However, I would not do what he did to a friend of mine, but I also don't know the exact circumstances. Maybe he thought YOU would resell it yourself, but just don't want to admit it. Ya' never really know what is going on in another guy's head. It's all about trust and often there are times when you can trust a relative or friend in some areas, but not in others. Good luck. -----Sid

[FlamingCarrot]

What kind of a 'friend' was this guy? How long did you know him? How did you meet, do you guys hangout? Do anything else other than buy/sell collectibles?

[joe_collector]

Zipper, this guy doesn't sound too much like a friend.

[Steve_HOCP]

that guy did you a total favor...honestly.

 

here's why:

 

As someone already mentioned, the guy you thought was your friend, just put a couple hundred dollars over your friendship.

 

By him being a greedy-grubby-scumbag like that he just let you know what the value of your friendship with him was and you know you cannot count on that guy for anything.

 

the favor you ask?

 

at least the scumbag did it now, over something like money...what would've happened if it was something you REALLY needed him for, or if it was life or death? What if you counted on him for something that would've put you in jeopardy or your family........and THEN HE BOMBED out on you??

 

I'd rather know where I stand with scumbags like that ovewr something like this....then to honestly count on them in the future for something and be totally let down.

 

lesson learned, and cheap I might add.

 

 

having said that...kick him in his baby nuts for pulling that [!@#%^&^] on you.

[OldGuy]

I've been thinking about your story for a little while now and you're "friend" sounds like a [!@#%^&^] to me. I spend a large part of my time at shows looking for books I know my friends are looking for. At the LV convention last year I found several reader copies of books I knew a friend was interested in. They ran me about $50. When I got back home he came over to see all my finds. I hadn't told him about the books I got for him, so when he saw them in the stack of books I brought home he was so excited. He thought I got them for myself, so he asked if he could please borrow them to read. When I told him I bought them for him he about died from excitement. He was so excited about getting these books that I just couldn't take his money and ended up giving them to him.

 

I've had friends do similar things for me and I've even had people on this board (I've never met) do stuff like that for me. I truly believe that good deads foster good deads. Your "friend" will reap what he sows.

[Mr. Zipper]

What kind of a 'friend' was this guy? How long did you know him? How did you meet, do you guys hangout? Do anything else other than buy/sell collectibles?

 

It's weird in that in the Internet age we have different levels of "friends." I never considered this guy a "friend" like my highschool and college buddies, maybe Internet spawned aquaintance is more accurate.

 

I met this guy through a collectibles Yahoo email group about 5 years ago. We chatted through email, did some trades, I bought some stuff from him. Eventually we started chatting on the phone once every couple of weeks about the hobby, and all kinds of stuff. We'd meet up when there was a show we were both going to and grab lunch or dinner. So, I considered him a "friend."

 

But like many have said, he wasn't much of a friend. No great loss...

 

Fortunately, most people I've met here and in other interest groups are pretty genuine and helpful.

[Wally's Comics]

Bzzzzzzzttt!! (blowing raspberry sound) to your so called friend!!

[Darthdiesel]

I met this guy through a collectibles Yahoo email group about 5 years ago. We chatted through email, did some trades, I bought some stuff from him. Eventually we started chatting on the phone once every couple of weeks about the hobby, and all kinds of stuff. We'd meet up when there was a show we were both going to and grab lunch or dinner. So, I considered him a "friend."

 

 

Sounds like me and chrisco37... I can't wait to find his FF's with early Doom appearances, show them to him, buy it in front of him then try to flip it to him for twice my cost!

[Mr. Zipper]

Sounds like me and chrisco37... I can't wait to find his FF's with early Doom appearances, show them to him, buy it in front of him then try to flip it to him for twice my cost!

 

Don't laugh... I guarantee this guy will try to sell the photo to me for a hefty markup in the very near future. My response will be slamming the phone down in his ear.

[comicwiz]

Hey Steve

 

The person you mention in your story doesn't sound like much of a friend, and sounds like a pretty selfish and self-absorbed individual -- and in my experiences, these are the kind of people you should avoid, let alone consider to be your friends.

 

The person who first got me into comics was my brother. When I was around 9 years old, my brother had asked me to draw him a sketch of Captain America (go figure); he ended-up repaying me for my sketch by giving me a stack of Uncanny X-Men's ranging from 111-124. Two brothers who we had become friends with were about the same ages as my brother and I, and had a similar interest in collecting comics. So naturally, we hung-out quite a bit at each others homes. One day, the younger of the two brothers noticed my X-Men and was salivating so much over them, that I caved and offered them to him. He certainly seemed more interested in them than I could have ever been.

 

Now the point of telling you this story is not that I want to illustrate how naive I was, or how generous, but that this so-called friend of mine had the balls to walk into a comic store with me a few months later, and brag about how much the X-Men comics I gave him were worth. I really couldn't care less, but yet, I couldn't help wonder: given that he was a few years older than I was, and spent ever Saturday at the comic shop buying-up comics with his allowance, it seems that he might have been motivated to take my books more by their monetary value than having a genuine interest in the books themselves. Ironically, I ended-up appreciating Byrne's art later in my life, and had to reacquire those books because of a newfound interest in his artwork, and those books were clearly from a seminal period in his body of work.

 

It sucks when this kind of thing happens, and when friends test your appreciation for colllecting. Mine was one of the first of many incidents that left a bad taste in my mouth about people in general, and those driven by greed in the hobby. I guess its the nostalgic side of us that keeps us interested in our hobby -- and it doesn't hurt when a good thing happens every so often. Lets hope you can get another shot at that group signed photo -- and this time, for a better bargain, and with a much happier ending!