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For Sale on Ebay: Marvel Two-In-One #1 9.0/9.2 (raw) OW-W pages

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published without permission:

 

Up for auction is a sweet copy of Marvel Two-In-One #1. To cut to the chase, I grade this one a 9.0 to 9.2 with Off White to White pages. I say 9.0 to 9.2 because I think it's a "tweener" book because of (a) the very light spine corner wear you can see in the scans, (b) some light spine stress that is visible in the scans, © some very light surface impressions that are not visible unless you look at the book at a raking angle against the light, (d) and some light back cover spine stress that is somewhat visible in the scans, but not really.

 

"So what's the big deal with this book?" you ask. Well, do you see that overgrown mass of swamp dookie on the cover fighting with the Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing™? That is the Swamp Thing, and as everyone knows, Alan Moore wrote some of his books way back when and he had a movie back in 1982 starring the then-luscious-but-now-too-old Adrienne Barbeau and . . . oh wait, wrong character. This is the MAN-THING, who never really had a good writer and whose name is often used in conjunction with "Giant Size" as sort of an inside joke among comic nerds like us. As in, "May I take a closer look at your Giant Size Man-Thing?" "Why yes, but please handle it carefully." (Insert TV laugh track here.)

 

So who in the hell cares about the Man-Thing, aside from comic nerds like us who like to use the name in mildly homoerotic displays of juvenile humor? Well, surely you've heard of the concept of "movie hype" when it comes to rapidly increasing comic book values. It happened with the Batman and Joker books back in 1989 when the Batman movie came out. It happened with Spider-Man in 2002 when Spider-Man the movie came out. It happened with X-Men when the X-Men movies came out. (Just look at how nuts X-Men #266, the first appearance of Gambit, is going -- and they printed about a billion and a half of those suckers -- more than enough so that at least five near mint copies exist for every single person who is currently reading the most popular new X-title on the shelf each month -- and yet the price still rises. Folly! Folly, I tell you! There will be a reckoning!)

 

Anyway, it happened when the Punisher movie came out. (Look at the prices on Amazing Spider-Man #129 over the past 18 months.) It even happened with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen when it came out, and that was among the dumbest films ever made! It is currently happening with the Fantastic Four, and I'm not even sure they've got a full cast yet or a finished -script! Of course, it didn't happen with the Road to Perdition when that movie came out, but come on -- no one even knew that was a comic book.

 

So what does this have to do with the Man-Thing? Well, it seems that the folks at Artisan Entertainment (since purchased by Lion's Gate Entertainment) decided to make a Man-Thing movie, which is now finished but keeps having its release date moved back. Now I realize that this is scraping the bottom of the barrel insofar as movie hype is concerned, but dammit, I've got to give you some reason to get you to bid crazy money on this book. So "movie hype" it is! Get it before Lion's Gate Entertainment firms up the release date, causing the prices of any book starring this big pile of swamp dung to fly through the stratosphere.

 

OK, so aside from the appearance of the Man-Thing, there are many other reasons why you want this book. You've also got the #1 issue from a series that was sort of the "ugly cousin" to Marvel Team-Up back in the 70s and 80s. That has to be worth something.

 

It's also a relatively early bronze age book, and everyone knows that it's all about bronze age books nowadays! So bid, bid you speculators, and win this extremely nice copy of Marvel Two-In-One #1 starring the Thing and (ahem) Man-Thing. (I can't even say the name without snickering.)

 

If you are one of the unlucky souls who doesn't win this sweet book, but you want to see how the battle turns out, you can recreate it at home. Take one of your mother/girlfriend/wife's potted plants. The more lush, full, and green it is, the better. If the plant is named Ted and has a somewhat confused demeanor and burns people who are afraid of it, all the better. (Realism is important, but if not, you can always pretend.) Place the potted plant on your front doorstep. Climb up on your roof with a large, orange painted rock with blue eyes drawn on it. Yell out "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!!" at the top of your lungs. Then drop the rock from that height onto the potted plant. Voila! You now know how the story goes. Doesn't that make you want to win this book???

 

 

And now for the important details, i.e., the rules:

 

This auction is for 7 days only. I do not end auctions early unless you are going to offer to pay me a gazillion dollars for the book, in which case my ethics and sense of fair play will fly out the window and you will find yourself to be the proud, overpaying owner of this early appearance of a character that smells like my golf shoes after a long 18 holes.

 

There is no reserve on this book. Email me if you want bigger scans and I will send you scans so big that your computer will freeze and I will blame it on the mysterious power of the MAN-THING.

 

For those of you who frequent the CGC Message boards, you know me as fantasyfootballbono. You can also see from my feedback that I am a stand-up eBay'er who has never ripped off anyone in my life. Your satisfaction in this transaction is guaranteed. You may bid with confidence, nay, with reckless abandon, secure in the knowledge that I actually have this book, that you will actually receive this book, and that the book will be as I described it to you when you get it.

 

Shipping on the comic book is done at actual cost for the shipping method of your choosing. Packaging will be bulletproof. Why? Because I HATE people who do not pack expensive comic books securely to prevent shipping damage. The book will shipped in a mylite and full back inside of a 4 mil Mylar open top Archive. A moldy stick of butter will not be included. (Inside joke.) This package will be double boxed, with adequate padding inside the first box to ensure that the book is immobilized during transit. I will also offer insurance for shipping at your cost.

 

It's a friggin' blog in it's own right! The dude makes $200 somethin' an hour as an attorney, and about $3.50 an hour sellin' comic books! 27_laughing.gifinsane.gif

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FFB

FFB

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It's a friggin' blog in it's own right!

 

If I may say so, one of my many talents is being able to write a lot of words in a relatively short period of time. acclaim.gif

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FFB

FFB

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You missed your true calling insane.gif

 

No, you should read the briefs I write. I have the perfect job for me. 27_laughing.gif

 

oh BTW

 

gossip.gifcan I consign my books with you

 

I could write a pretty good description for that Marvel Spotlight #12 that you put up in round 7 or 8 of the grading contest. It might even sell! thumbsup2.gif

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FFB

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How much do you charge per auction description? 893scratchchin-thumb.gif

 

I've got a double-cover WBN 37 which also has the MJ insert and an error on the label...

 

TRIPLE VARIANT!!!! insane.gif

 

Send me a draft.... gossip.gif

 

Send me a scan of the front and back cover, tell me what grade you think it is, and tell me what hidden defects are there. I'll do the draft for free tonight when I get home. It's actually a lot of fun to write them. If I were trying to maximize the value of my time, I'd make them shorter. But I am filing the time away under "entertainment," so I don't mind. thumbsup2.gif

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FFB

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I'm to lazy to read the whole ad but were you sure to mention that it says Marvel Two on One on the cover? That's very important.

 

Next time, for the ADHD impaired, I'll add to the item description an animation file of a monkey flinging its poo. That should help keep your attention. You get bored with the writing, you look at the flying poo. Then read some more, then more looking at the poo. Repeat until you've made it through the description.

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garthgantu

garthgantu

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I'm to lazy to read the whole ad but were you sure to mention that it says Marvel Two on One on the cover? That's very important.

 

Next time, for the ADHD impaired, I'll add to the item description an animation file of a monkey flinging its poo. That should help keep your attention. You get bored with the writing, you look at the flying poo. Then read some more, then more looking at the poo. Repeat until you've made it through the description.

 

So you're pooh-poohing your own item descriptor? I like it!

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How does my tomato box copy compare?

 

893scratchchin-thumb.gif

 

Scans are smaller, and "tomato box" isn't as funny as my "battle recreation" bit. Other than that, I can't tell. confused-smiley-013.gif

 

I never joke about my tomato boxers devil.gif Here's a larger scan:

 

M2in1

 

27_laughing.gifflowerred.gif

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