Significant others VS. comic books

[BleekerBob]

I just recently got back into collecting and my fiance hates it! What to do? Anyone else have this problem with their wife, girlfriend or significant other?

[Mithril Man]

Whenever you buy a book - say a $500 book - then just buy her $500 worth of jewelry. She'll soon love comics. Also, immediately hide your Pedigree receipts when the package arrives...learned that the hard way...damn books cost me twice what I thought I had paid for them.

[Timely]

You should ask her specifically what she "hates" about it. How does your collecting affect her life in a negative way?

 

West

[FlComicFan]

This is my suggestion. Every few months dig out some books you bought a few years back and show the price you paid then and what they are worth now. Hopefully you are in the black and problem is solved.

[BleekerBob]

She doesnt like that I'm spending $$$$$ on them, I'm cluttering the apt with packages and spending to much time online.

[Timely]

try and get her involved. Buy her the "Fables" trade paperback and let her read it. If she can get a little enjoyment out of new comics she many be more understanding

 

West

[towards2112]

Then dump her and take time to find someone who loves you for

what and who you are, not what you have, will have, don't have or

can be made into.

I'm probably the luckiest [#@$%!!!] on planet earth. I've been married

to the most wonderful woman, that married me because I was one

of those handsome geeks that wasn't "ashamed" of loving comic books.

She's your classic blonde. Goofy as a bedbug some days, but a pure

angel inside, that decided before we even moved in together that any

hobby that made me happy couldn't be all bad.

[awe4one]

This is my suggestion. Every few months dig out some books you bought a few years back and show the price you paid then and what they are worth now. Hopefully you are in the black and problem is solved.

 

I'm not sure this will work effectively as there no hard cash to show for it...

 

The best way, in my opinion, is to actually sell some comics and take her out to dinner with the proceeds. This is tangible and something a non-collector can understand. It's a huge step beyond "saying" comics are valuable...

 

Jim

[Hobgoblin]

try and get her involved. Buy her the "Fables" trade paperback and let her read it. If she can get a little enjoyment out of new comics she many be more understanding

 

West

 

Riiiiiiiight

[Hobgoblin]

Then dump her and take time to find someone who loves you for

what and who you are, not what you have, will have, don't have or

can be made into.

I'm probably the luckiest [#@$%!!!] on planet earth. I've been married

to the most wonderful woman, that married me because I was one

of those handsome geeks that wasn't "ashamed" of loving comic books.

She's your classic blonde. Goofy as a bedbug some days, but a pure

angel inside, that decided before we even moved in together that any

hobby that made me happy couldn't be all bad.

 

If you've ever dumped a woman because she didn't like that you collected comic books, I think there's something wrong with that. My girlfriend isn't fond of it. She thinks I spend too much $$$ and time on it, but she understands that it's: learn to live with it while I attempt to spend a bit less time with books (it takes work on both sides, no matter who you are).

[VintageComics]

She doesnt like that I'm spending $$$$$ on them, I'm cluttering the apt with packages and spending to much time online.

 

I know someone is gonna nail me with a but here's my take...

I think she'd hate anything if it affected her life in a negative way....'goblins right...prioritize what's important, make compromises in the amount of time and effort that is put into it, and maybe get her involved?? I spend too much time in the hobby compared to family time so sometimes my wife helps to keep me in check.....often it's a positive when "her" warning bells go off because they have a differrent sense of what is missing in a relationship than most men do....

[nik]

[FFB]

I just recently got back into collecting and my fiance hates it! What to do? Anyone else have this problem with their wife, girlfriend or significant other?

 

Take her to a forum dinner. That helped more than anything. Contrary to what West said, I don't think that buying her a copy of Fables is going to get you anything other than one of these from her:

 

You are not going to turn your fiance into a comic book fan no matter how hard you try. The best you can hope for is for her to see why you enjoy the hobby. If she just can't or won't understand, I believe that at some point you have to ask yourself why. Might be that she is the problem, or it might be that the hobby is legitimately interfering with something essential to the relationship. But no one can answer that one for you.

[chrisco37]

.

I'm probably the luckiest [#@$%!!!] on planet earth. I've been married

to the most wonderful woman

 

So, that pic in your avatar really is your wife!

[Wally's Comics]

Women are complex beings...

 

You could spend you whole life trying to please them or just give an honest

effort in the proper educated manor and say "hey, at least I tried".

 

One thing I know is that TIME spent with them is extremely important to females.

 

Try to balance the time you are willing to take to keep her happy and the time you want for yourself to keep you happy.

 

Women do alot of things to themselves on a daily basis to not only get a man, but keep a man.

 

There are always different techniques for making your girl happy while you are able to keep your hobby. One that I have found is that I only spend but so much time and money in it.

 

I spend about 20% of my funds (after taxes)

 

And again we don't miss the 2K a month, because it is pretty insignificant...

 

As far as the time is concerned, I either spend more time with her or

spend more time "thinking" about her -

 

When I buy her a nice pair of shoes or that Coach Handbag she has had her eye on

I show her (in a way) that I was thinking about her in my spare time...

 

These little things that seem nothing to men are 10 fold to a woman.

 

If you don't believe me just ask Jonanna. I'm sure she will agree that time spent with her man

is great. But it's is those above a beyound instances (when he thinks about me when I'm not there) of pampering that are golden.

 

 

 

[precodekeith]

..... take time to find someone who loves you for

what and who you are, not what you have, will have, don't have or

can be made into.

 

This is a good point. I'm not advocating dumping her, but I can't see trying to convince her to "let" you collect comics by showing her how valuable your books are. If it takes dollar signs for her to give you a "green light" on something that you enjoy..... that should be sending a signal, shouldn't it?

 

I was living with a girl for over a year and thinking seriously of marriage, but she hated my comics hobby. It started off as small nagging and progressively got worse. I went as far as getting national dealers to come look at the collection and give me quotes so I could just sell everything just to get her off my back. Now, we didn't eventually break up because of comics, but you know what, that was a good indicator which I should have spotted sooner.

 

Thankfully, over a year after our break-up, I found another girl who I have been happily with ever since. Guess what!? She doesn't mind comics! She even buys them for me on holidays and special occasions, and she's even gone to a con with me! Hell, she even tried reading them, but just didn't "get into it." It didn't take showing her price guide values to get her "approval." Nope, she's ok with it simply because they make me happy.

 

Something to think about.....

[Stronguy]

I just recently got back into collecting and my fiance hates it! What to do? Anyone else have this problem with their wife, girlfriend or significant other?

 

Simple solution...

Take out a large insurance policy on her.

Say you were going back into the resturant to get your gun.

Have someone killer her.

Buy more comics.

 

It's worked so far for Robert Blake so... oops... never mind!

[BassGMan]

I just recently got back into collecting and my fiance hates it! What to do? Anyone else have this problem with their wife, girlfriend or significant other?

 

Well, this all depends on how serious the problem is. If she hates it, and makes a negative comment about it every once in a while, but for the most part leaves you alone about it, then no big deal. You are not always going to both care for or approve of what each other wants to do with your own time and money. However, if this is a serious problem, where you have fights about it, and she is trying to change you to drop this hobby that you love, then you might want to think about making her your ex-fiance. The reason being that if she cannot respect and accept you and all that you are, a comic collector, and realize and understand how much you love comics, and wants you to change, then other things are going to also come up later that she feels the same way about and she'll want you to change again.

 

Small problem that you can ignore, no big deal. Serious problem between you two, I see red flags. I don't see why any compromises are necessary. You are both single at this time. If you need to stop buying so much so that you will have more money to put into a house, wedding, vacation or whatever, then fine, that's not a compromise, that is you deciding to spend your money on other things that may becoming new priorities. But at this point, BEFORE you are married, do not make bargains with her or let her dictate what you are. As a couple, decide what works best for you both, but don't lose yourself if the mix.

 

Regarding the apartment clutter and spending too much time online, that is up to you to prioritize while considering her feelings. You may be the kind of person that wants to do your own thing more than she does. If it is not with comics, it may be with something else. She'll need to get used to this, but in this area there may be ways no compromise, unless she is just too needy of your time. With clutter, there is always a bigger apartment or even a storage facility but I think she may have a point here if you invade the space that she wants for her stuff.

[COI]

However, if this is a serious problem, where you have fights about it, and she is trying to change you to drop this hobby that you love, then you might want to think about making her your ex-fiance. The reason being that if she cannot respect and accept you and all that you are, a comic collector, and realize and understand how much you love comics, and wants you to change, then other things are going to also come up later that she feels the same way about and she'll want you to change again.

 

(This is not aimed at BleekerBob)

 

Since we're all collectors here, it can be easy to overlook the other side of this. In many cases, she may be justified in resenting the hobby. When I hear some collectors talking about going on 6 month payment plans, or maxing their credit cards chasing that one book or piece of art they "must" have, I wonder how long it will take for their Wife or significant other to kick them to the curb. The fact is, the majority of people reading this, whether they'll admit it to themselves or not, are not good with money. And why should any significant other put up with something that not only takes up time and energy, but threatens their financial future?

[BassGMan]

COI, I understand what you are saying and agree, but in this case I think that there would be a bigger problem than just buying too many comics. Having an overall problem with budgeting and handling money responsibly is a whole other (huge) matter. Of course in that case the more financially responsible spouse would have reason for concern.