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I'm sorry when I win. I'm sorry when I lose. Psychotherapy needed.
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Started by NoMan,

24 posts in this topic

NoMan

NoMan

Posted
Posted (edited)

Was bidding on a book on HA on Sunday. I lost and I was bummed. However, if I had won I probably would have been bummed, too. In reality, it's for the best cause I'm saving up for an OA-related item (Color guides) and money can go to that. 

anybody else deal with this: you win and have buyer's remorse or you lose and have some kinda remorse that you'll never find the book again/shouldn't have spent the money/paid too much?  

It's a heavy, heavy burden to carry alone and was thinking we could have some sort of support group here. :sorry:

Edited by NoMan
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lizards2

lizards2

Posted
Posted

I collect a lot of different titles, but I suppose it is mostly common, and hardly any of it will never be found again, so I rarely have loser's remorse.  I do love to bid on items and make the winner pay extra, though.

I have winner's remorse quite a bit.  :sorry:

Support group?  I suppose comic obsession is a lot like alcoholism.

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romanheart

romanheart

Posted
Posted

I too wonder at the sums I pay on books at times. However, I also make a point to make sure my family is well cared for and they get all the things they need and could want. At the same time, I pay my bills, and make a point to budget my purchases and increase my personal savings at the same time.

I also know much of what I do purchase can be sold if needed for most if not the same money I purchased for them.

Losing an auction sucks but I like to look at it is as money I can use for the upcoming auction.

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FineCollector

FineCollector

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Posted

I don't collect anything particularly rare, so I know another copy will be along eventually.

I'm not great at saving, but I know when I have play money, and when I shouldn't be looking online at all.  Stay out of the buffet when you're on a diet, as it were.

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lizards2

lizards2

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, comicquant said:
4 hours ago, NoMan said:

I'm Noman and I'm obsessed with comics. Come to think of it I become obsessed with anything I get into. 

I'm the same way; always all in.  I put the "dic" in a addiction...

..., and elsewhere..., :baiting:

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justafan

justafan

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, NoMan said:

Was bidding on a book on HA on Sunday. I lost and I was bummed. However, if I had won I probably would have been bummed, too. In reality, it's for the best cause I'm saving up for an OA-related item (Color guides) and money can go to that. 

anybody else deal with this: you win and have buyer's remorse or you lose and have some kinda remorse that you'll never find the book again/shouldn't have spent the money/paid too much?  

It's a heavy, heavy burden to carry alone and was thinking we could have some sort of support group here. :sorry:

All the time and it's become more of a reminder that what I'm doing is just a hobby and not a life's goal.  I recently missed out on a key book I had been waiting to come to market for such a looong time.  I had every intention of bidding what was necessary to win it but I screwed up the bid.  When the time came to click bid, I misinterpreted the bid options and thought I had placed a proxy bid when in fact it never went through.  I missed out (book went for a great price) and was devastated for a week. (Heritage lost out on probably an extra $7000 in Buyer premium) I felt sick to my stomach.  Couldn't look at comics or anything for a while.  Every day it ate at me and disturbed me.  Then more important things in life start to take over and you realize there's sooo much more to life than collecting comics.  I think many of us get wrapped up in the goal of collecting that we lose sight of it as a hobby rather than an ultimate goal.  Sure I know there are some of us on here where it is their ultimate goal and they may have nothing else going on in their lives to fill the void that comics tend to consume.  So when I miss out on a book, I like to think it went to someone who really needs it more in their lives than me.

On the flip side, I used to get winners remorse early in my collecting days when I would overpay for books even if I could afford it but mostly because the books themselves weren't that significant in the collection.  Just fillers that tend to not come up that often.  Not rare, just not always up for sale.  After getting them in the mail I look at them and ask my self did I really need to pay that much for this?  How is this really improving my life, enjoyment of it, and state of well being?  I've begun to weigh the cost of a purchase against something else that I like that would give me more enjoyment/benefit.  Now I only go big after books (like the one above that had both personal and collecting significance) that I know won't cause me buyers remorse.  One thing that helps me avoid buyers remorse or anticlimactic feelings is buying those more common books at a discount or value.  Either just getting lucky in a slow auction or finding nice raw candidates.  Another thing that helps with avoid buyers remorse for key books I love having is pulling them out every now and then and looking at them if graded and flipping through them if raw.

One more thing on the losing bids.  Unless you're collecting HTF in grade GA or Gerber top 10 rarest comics, most books tend to come around again and sometimes in better condition/eye appeal that may allow you a 2nd chance to scoop them up sometimes even for a better price. So set your bids at a level that you know you won't get buyers remorse if you won it and stick to that.  Let those who have nothing else in their lives or an infinite cash pool deal with winning it if they must have it.  And then step back from your computer and go enjoy the rest of what life has to offer.

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TheFifthHorseman

TheFifthHorseman

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, NoMan said:

It's for the best cause I'm saving up for an OA-related item (Color guides) and money can go to that

Most of the stuff I've flipped has turned a (small) profit. I've lost a little too. I never buy with the idea that I want to sell or flip.

But inevitably something cooler and rarer comes along and I can turn slabs into quick cash if needed.

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NoMan

NoMan

Posted
  • Author
Posted
33 minutes ago, justafan said:

All the time and it's become more of a reminder that what I'm doing is just a hobby and not a life's goal.  I recently missed out on a key book I had been waiting to come to market for such a looong time.  I had every intention of bidding what was necessary to win it but I screwed up the bid.  When the time came to click bid, I misinterpreted the bid options and thought I had placed a proxy bid when in fact it never went through.  I missed out (book went for a great price) and was devastated for a week. (Heritage lost out on probably an extra $7000 in Buyer premium) I felt sick to my stomach.  Couldn't look at comics or anything for a while.  Every day it ate at me and disturbed me.  Then more important things in life start to take over and you realize there's sooo much more to life than collecting comics.  I think many of us get wrapped up in the goal of collecting that we lose sight of it as a hobby rather than an ultimate goal.  Sure I know there are some of us on here where it is their ultimate goal and they may have nothing else going on in their lives to fill the void that comics tend to consume.  So when I miss out on a book, I like to think it went to someone who really needs it more in their lives than me.

On the flip side, I used to get winners remorse early in my collecting days when I would overpay for books even if I could afford it but mostly because the books themselves weren't that significant in the collection.  Just fillers that tend to not come up that often.  Not rare, just not always up for sale.  After getting them in the mail I look at them and ask my self did I really need to pay that much for this?  How is this really improving my life, enjoyment of it, and state of well being?  I've begun to weigh the cost of a purchase against something else that I like that would give me more enjoyment/benefit.  Now I only go big after books (like the one above that had both personal and collecting significance) that I know won't cause me buyers remorse.  One thing that helps me avoid buyers remorse or anticlimactic feelings is buying those more common books at a discount or value.  Either just getting lucky in a slow auction or finding nice raw candidates.  Another thing that helps with avoid buyers remorse for key books I love having is pulling them out every now and then and looking at them if graded and flipping through them if raw.

One more thing on the losing bids.  Unless you're collecting HTF in grade GA or Gerber top 10 rarest comics, most books tend to come around again and sometimes in better condition/eye appeal that may allow you a 2nd chance to scoop them up sometimes even for a better price. So set your bids at a level that you know you won't get buyers remorse if you won it and stick to that.  Let those who have nothing else in their lives or an infinite cash pool deal with winning it if they must have it.  And then step back from your computer and go enjoy the rest of what life has to offer.

Thanks for such a learnt response. 

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Westy Steve

Westy Steve

Posted
Posted

I try to buy stuff that meet three conditions:

1.  It's got to be something I really want...not just something I found the looked like a good deal.

2.  I have to stretch to get it

3.  It's nicer than I thought I could afford for the money I spent...(it was a good deal)

While criteria #2  sounds like a recipe for overpaying, putting the other criteria on it means I don't buy very often.   I feel good about my purchases because I walk away with a feeling of "I'll never be able to do that again" or "I'll never have to do that again".  This also keeps me from selling it in the future because I feel like it's a one-way trip...which is good because I apply this criteria to the best stuff I have.    

To be fair though, I don't go after things that are so rare that I have to wait for years if I miss them.  I have collected stuff like that, and it's not fun.  IMHO, the only way to collect like that is to have a  second collection that you're also collecting...a cheap one.  It's important to get packages in the mail every month! :)

Lastly, nothing should preclude the serious collector from ignoring the quick flip to help finance your sickness (habit).  But recognize it for what it is and don't fool yourself into thinking you're buying something for your collection when you clearly bought it because you got a good deal on it.  Sell it for a still-good price without guilt.

 

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Ken Aldred

Ken Aldred

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

There's the 'thrill of the hunt' factor to consider, and the downer from those adrenaline surges which can occur once you finally own a copy. 

Edited by Ken Aldred
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kav

kav

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Posted

Loser's remorse is worse especially for OA because most likely you will never have a chance to get the item again.  Winner's remorse is easy to deal with-just sell the item.

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