THE OFFICIAL COMIC BOOK JOKE THREAD

[ComicBookGuy]

This thread will be devoted to the comic-book joke; that is, jokes related to comic-book characters. It would be cool to archive the best ones we've heard here in one place so everyone can read them. I'm sure everyone has at least one good one to share, and I look forward to seeing what we can pull together.

 

When you post, POST A JOKE ONLY. If people start adding comments, judgments, criticisms, graemlins, etc., the thread will become tedious quickly. PLEASE, POST JOKES ONLY!

 

I'll start it off...

 

There was a big convention of superheroes in town. After the day's many events the hotel bar was packed as the superheroes mingled and chatted. They shared the usual adventure stories, speculated about which heroes were the strongest, gossiped about secret identities, discussed which villains were on the loose, and chatted about all other manner of superhero-related business.

 

The crowd began to thin out around midnight, and Superman was ready to hit the sack. He said good night to Batman, Green Lantern, and Black Canary, and made his way to the elevator.

 

As he was walking down the hallway of the 5th floor of the hotel towards his room, he could not help but to overhear - thanks to his superhearing - the sound of Wonder Woman's voice. Using his X-Ray vision, he looked through the hotel door to his right and saw Wonder Woman apparently alone, lying on her back in bed - totally naked, legs spread. Her head was thrown back and her eyes closed.

 

Now this sight made Superman stop in his tracks. He thought, "Hmm. I've always had a thing for Wonder Woman. I wonder if..." He looked around to his right and his left. There was no one else in the hallway.

 

He knew he could do it quickly, so...using the absolute highest level of his superspeed, he opened the door, rushed in, banged her, and was gone before she could even blink an eye.

 

Out in the hallway, a smile on his face, Superman zipped back to his room in less than a second.

 

Back in Wonder Woman's room, though, she sat up suddenly in her bed and said, "Whoa! Did you feel that? It felt like a big rush of wind -- "

 

The Invisible Man, rolling over onto his side, replied, "I don't know. All I know is my is killin' me!"

[joe_collector]

*** Deleted comment about how the above joke was so old, kids were telling it on the Mayflower. ***

[chromium]

A man was sitting in a bar in the penthouse of a 50 story high rise hotel. Another man sat down beside him abviousely very drunk.The drunk man says to the other man, "Bet you I could jump out the window and the wind will cary me back up to here before I hit the ground!"The man wanted nothing to do with this and simply ignored him. After a while the drunk man finally wore him down..."Look you go jump out that window and Ill sit here and drink my beer,ok??!!" the man yelled."you got it, fifty bucks and a beer!" said the drunk,"Whatever, just leave me alone!!!".So the drunk opens the window and runs and jumps out!.....Theman was astounded! He ran to the window yelling,"I cant believe he did it!!!"...He waited a few seconds and sure

 

enough the drunk man came flying right back into the window!"Holy cow!!" said the man "Thats the most amazing thing Ive everseen!!! Ive got to try this!"So he gave the drunk man the $50 and the beer and ran and threw himself out the window! As he was falling all he could think about was how exciting it will be to feel himself fly back up to the window.....SPLAT!!!!! He hit the ground! Back up in the window the drunk was shaking his head. He walked back to the bar. The bartender came over and glared at him while he drank his beer andsaid, "You're a real hole when you're drunk Superman!"

[chromium]

You need to be a LOSH fan to get this (no Greggy, not only collect the pretty covers, but also read them)...

 

Q: How many Talokians does it take to screw in a light bulb.

 

A: Don't be silly. Only Imskians can screw in a light bulb.

[ComicBookGuy]

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.

 

"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.

 

"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" she says, and marches into the bank.

 

Ivy waits in the getaway car. Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...

 

Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behind her, the guard comes running out...with his pants down!

 

Ivy groans. "Harley, you insufficiently_thoughtful_person! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!"

[ComicBookGuy]

Someone sent this one to me today. I apologize in advance if anyone's offended by these jokes, but I do think it's cool to collect what comic book jokes are out there in one place.

Joe

 

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room, and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

 

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

 

Donald frowned and said "No."

 

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

 

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

 

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

 

"Yes, we do," the clerk replied and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?

 

"No!" Donald quacked, "What kind of a friggin' pervert do you think I am?!?"