Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman...

[Mister_Comics]

A guy with a duck on his head walks into a doctor's office.

 

The doctor looks up and says, "Can I help you?"

 

The duck says, "Yeah, get this guy off my @ss!"

 

 

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Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman walk into a bar. The bartender ask what would like?

 

Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman say; "We're looking for a guy with a duck on his head!"

 

Bartender says; "He went to the doctor!"

 

Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman ask the bartender; "Ya got any grapes?"

 

Superman with Wonder Woman on his head and Batman on her head walks into the doctors office.....!

[s-man]

Wonder Woman asks for one of their World's Finest cocktails and the bartender says that that drink is not for women, but that Batman and Superman can have one if they like.

 

Batman (with much bravado) then asks for 200 of them and the bartender says that he can only have 196

 

Superman (always the show off) asks for 400 of their World's Finest cocktails and the bartender hesitates and says that he may only serve 322 to Supes.

 

Wonder Woman (who is high and dry by this point) asks for one of the houses World's Best cocktails and, once again, the bartender says that women may not partake but that Batman and Superman may have 1 and only 1 each.

 

Wonder Woman (now irate) orders the next best drink which is, apparently, a Sensation. She orders 116 of them - the bartender hesitates and pours her 109 - he then pulls 3 back giving her a total of 106 and says that that is the best he can do.

 

I will up the ante and give 2 to the person who figures out why the bartender is such a jerk.

 

 

 

Honorable mention....

 

A duck walks into a bar, sits at the stool and asks the bartender if he has any grapes?

The bartender explains this is a bar and we only serve alcohol.

The next day the duck walks into the bar, sits on the stool and asks for grapes. The bartender says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve grapes".

The next day the duck walks into the bar, sits on the stool, and asks the bartender for grapes.

The bartender says, "we don't serve grapes. If you ask me one more time I'm going to nail your beak to the bar".

The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender if he has a hammer? The bartender says, "NO".

Then the duck says "in that case do you have any grapes?"

[14 of spades]

A depressed mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

 

The bartender says, "Sorry but we don't serve depressed mushrooms."

 

The mushroom replied, "I'm not a depressed mushroom, I'm a FUNGI"