• When you click on links to various merchants on this site and make a purchase, this can result in this site earning a commission. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to, the eBay Partner Network.

The OFFICIAL Cornfield Library lounge area thread. Off topic posts are allowed!
16 16

Started by CGC Mike,

40,415 posts in this topic

kav

kav

Posted
Posted
On 2/26/2022 at 12:42 PM, oakman29 said:

Sometimes Les is more.🤔

Who's bigger-daddy Bigger or baby Bigger?
Baby Bigger.  He's a little bigger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kav

kav

Posted
Posted

She and I were talking about new places that would be fun to check out around town, just pitching random ideas.She asks me, “Have you heard of the Alaska Zoo 2”?

Confused at how a zoo could have a sequel, I ask her what she’s talking about.“I saw this sign while driving down the road that said Alaska Zoo 2.

Have you ever heard of it”?

It took me a second to realize that she was reading the road sign that told her it was two miles away and she thought there was some sort of “sequel” to the zoo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kav

kav

Posted
Posted

 

R’ Is For ‘Racing’

There are a lot more, but the one I loved the most was every day she would put her car in neutral and push it out of her parking spot.

I just assumed her shifter was broken or she had a bad transmission but didn’t want to replace it since the car was like five-to-six years old at the time.

One day I had to drive her home because she hurt her ankle and without even thinking about it, put the car in reverse, and she screamed at me when I put the car in “racing” to back it up.

She seriously didn’t know her car had reverse and for the three years she’d been driving it, had got out and pushed it backward up every single time.

 

One of my friends in college was making macaroni and cheese, and they saw it said:

“add 2/3 cup water”.So they added three cups because they like a more liquidy sauce.They thought it was two or three cups depending on how you like the sauce.

 

She and I were talking about new places that would be fun to check out around town, just pitching random ideas.She asks me, “Have you heard of the Alaska Zoo 2”?

Confused at how a zoo could have a sequel, I ask her what she’s talking about.“I saw this sign while driving down the road that said Alaska Zoo 2.

Have you ever heard of it”?

It took me a second to realize that she was reading the road sign that told her it was two miles away and she thought there was some sort of “sequel” to the zoo.

 

We were driving down a neighborhood with speed bumps, and after accelerating over the third speed bump:

Me: What the heck are you doing?

Her: It’s a speed bump.

 

My girlfriend thought a “new moon” on the calendar meant a brand new moon floated in out of space and replaced the old one.

He was worried about his dog, Ben, getting older and thought it was strange that Ben was growing eyebrow whiskers.I told him when dogs start going blind they grow antennae like ants have so they can get around.

“Oh no, Ben’s going blind”!

 

The other day an older guy at work told me the story of taking a girl out when he was younger, and she asked if ambulances just drove around all day looking for hurt people.

When my grandma was on her deathbed, my uncle and his girlfriend showed up like everyone else to say their goodbyes.

They drove separately though, and the girlfriend’s name was Holly.And as everyone was saying goodbye, a nurse came over to the physician’s assistant and gave a description of Holly’s car, saying it was parked on the helipad.

And when she heard this, she said, “I thought the H was for Holly”!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
onlyweaknesskryptonite

onlyweaknesskryptonite

Posted
Posted
On 2/26/2022 at 3:35 PM, kav said:

She and I were talking about new places that would be fun to check out around town, just pitching random ideas.She asks me, “Have you heard of the Alaska Zoo 2”?

Confused at how a zoo could have a sequel, I ask her what she’s talking about.“I saw this sign while driving down the road that said Alaska Zoo 2.

Have you ever heard of it”?

It took me a second to realize that she was reading the road sign that told her it was two miles away and she thought there was some sort of “sequel” to the zoo.

If there isn't one yet, Disney will make one.. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cat

Cat

Posted
Posted

I Had a very real argument with one of my exes aviur films. she argued the 'ONLY IN THEATRES!' blurb they put on every film is them actually saying that that film will never see home release. I told her to think abiut recent films we'd seen, they'd had home releases, right? It meant only in theatres for a specific period of time, after which they're available to the home market. She never believed me. 

We used to work at a bank together. I was higher up than her. I'd often name her false currencies, and she'd tell people they need Republic Credits to get into France, for example. 

This one's sad, but she lost her father when she was just a teenager. As such, she was very into psychics, aka complete frauds. She came back from a John Edwards show completely hyped and enthused about it all, how he'd been on fire with his answers, specific responses, little things that you just couldn't know. I asked if you had to fill out anything beforehand. She got mad at me. 'No, it was NOTHING like that. We were all just asked to fill out prayer cards, with why we're here, who we hope to connect with, what might help us do it, etc etc (the questions were unsurprisingly quite detailed). I was gentle with her as I saw her kind of put it together as well, but she went into angry mode, which was understandable. But to this day she believes his presence was there, it was all real. That one makes me sad to know that that used her like that. 

As I said, we worked for the same company, often together, but sometimes not. This lady she knew came to her all furious about the day before, when she'd been sent to a different branch to the day. She said the guy was a nightmare to work with, he wouldn't take instructions (he wouldn't, it's his branch you're intruding on) and he wouldn't let me take charge. Instead he got his work done and sat on his chair spinning. She was sympathising with this lady, until she slowly started to realise that the lady was indeed person_without_enough_empathying about me. I didn't like her attitude, or her attempts to boss me around, so I gave her a pile of work, got mine done, plus extra, then spun in my chair for a while. I got yelled at when I got home that night. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kav

kav

Posted
Posted
On 2/26/2022 at 2:16 PM, Mecha_Fantastic said:

I Had a very real argument with one of my exes aviur films. she argued the 'ONLY IN THEATRES!' blurb they put on every film is them actually saying that that film will never see home release. I told her to think abiut recent films we'd seen, they'd had home releases, right? It meant only in theatres for a specific period of time, after which they're available to the home market. She never believed me. 

We used to work at a bank together. I was higher up than her. I'd often name her false currencies, and she'd tell people they need Republic Credits to get into France, for example. 

This one's sad, but she lost her father when she was just a teenager. As such, she was very into psychics, aka complete frauds. She came back from a John Edwards show completely hyped and enthused about it all, how he'd been on fire with his answers, specific responses, little things that you just couldn't know. I asked if you had to fill out anything beforehand. She got mad at me. 'No, it was NOTHING like that. We were all just asked to fill out prayer cards, with why we're here, who we hope to connect with, what might help us do it, etc etc (the questions were unsurprisingly quite detailed). I was gentle with her as I saw her kind of put it together as well, but she went into angry mode, which was understandable. But to this day she believes his presence was there, it was all real. That one makes me sad to know that that used her like that. 

As I said, we worked for the same company, often together, but sometimes not. This lady she knew came to her all furious about the day before, when she'd been sent to a different branch to the day. She said the guy was a nightmare to work with, he wouldn't take instructions (he wouldn't, it's his branch you're intruding on) and he wouldn't let me take charge. Instead he got his work done and sat on his chair spinning. She was sympathising with this lady, until she slowly started to realise that the lady was indeed person_without_enough_empathying about me. I didn't like her attitude, or her attempts to boss me around, so I gave her a pile of work, got mine done, plus extra, then spun in my chair for a while. I got yelled at when I got home that night. 

"The psychic knew my dad's birthday!"
"Did the card you filled out ask for his birthday?"
"Yes but that has nothing to do with it and he probably doesnt even read them!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
16 16
Go to topic listing