X-Men 104 Review

[OldGuy]

Motivated by Joanna's WW review I thought I'd post some reviews that I wrote a couple of years ago for the X-World Comics website.

 

Apr ’77

Cover Art: Dave Cockrum featuring Magneto vs. Wolverine, Cyclops, Colossus, Nightcrawler and Storm

Writer: Chris Claremont

Interior Art and Inks: Dave Cockrum

Story Title: The Gentleman’s Name is Magneto

 

X-Men 104 Summary

 

What could be better then an issue that sports a remake of the classic X-Men #1 cover?! Well, ok, maybe the original is better, but this one comes in at a close second place.

 

All right, lets open this bad boy up and see what the classic team of Claremont & Cockrum have to offer us.

 

We join the X-Crew (Wolvie, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm and Banshee) on a boat dock “50 miles off the northwest coast of Scottland”. Banshee is in a heated discussion with the boat Captain that Moira MacTagert has made reservations with to fairy the X-Crew to “Moira’s Island” to check up on things while she’s gone. Evidently Moira has left a gentleman by the name O’ Jamie Madrox to keep an eye on things while she’s off gallivanting around in New York under the guise of being the X-Slobs house keeper, hmmm, sure.

 

The boat Captain freaks out when he gets a look at his customers for the first time (in full costume) and he refuses to let the X-Dudes on his boat. The boys are not very understanding of the Captains apprehension and they just steal his boat with the justification that “he’s already been paid”. Wow, can you say “first degree felony”!?

 

As our disco era heroes approach “Moira’s Island” they can’t help but notice that the island is……well…….I think Banshee says is best……”Lit up like the Fourth O’ July!”. “At that instant , a bolt of Eldritch Fire lashes out from the island to envelop the hovercraft”. Watch out for that “Eldritch Fire”, it can be a real bummer (what the heck is “Eldritch Fire?! Who knows?). Needless to say, all of our hero’s end up going for a swim at this point. I wonder if they plan on paying the boat owner for the boat they just stole and managed to destroy??

 

After everyone drags them selves to shore we learn that the boat didn’t actually explode. What happened, according to Banshee was “Everythin’ metal came alive! The ship lit’rally tore itself t’pieces!” Star Trek flash back, wow, thanks Scotty…..

 

On their way to Moira’s pad the crew runs into a mysterious force field that manages to pick them up, along with the ground they’re standing on, and hurls them straight at Moira’s fortress! What ever will our heros do in order to avoid being smashed to a pulp against the side of the building!? Well what else? Smash a big hole in the wall! Wait a minute, how could they smash the wall if they were surrounded by a force field? Oh who cares, it was cool and that’s all that matters any way.

 

Our bruised but other wise intact crew is now starting to wonder who could be causing them all this grief when suddenly……drum roll please…….Magneto busts through a wall and proclaims “You are going to die here mutants..and not all your powers nor your skills can save you from my wrath!” Followed by “Look on me X-Men, for I am your oldest, deadliest foe, master of the Legion of Mutants—and soon to be Lord of All the World! I am MAGNETO!!” “Look on me”? Ok, whatever. This guy has a huge ego, man, he just can’t get over himself. And what the heck is the “Legion of Mutants”? Oh well, on with the story.

 

Meanwhile, Cyclops and Moira have decided to join in the fun and start to make their entrance via the airplane landing pad behind “the lab”. As they enter the building we learn that “the lab” is really a secret “Mutant Research Center” designed to “house the most dangerous mutants in existence and perhaps cure their hatred for humanity”. Hmmmm, sounds like the perfect place for Magneto…..

 

As Cyclops and Moira are walking through the building they come across the prone, but not dead of course, body of Jamie Madrox (last seen in GS FF #4) who was keeping on eye on things while Moira was away. He explains that earlier that morning he was ambushed by Havoc, Polaris and Eric The Red. The bad guys were able to find Magneto’s cell and free him. Needless too say, Magneto is only an infant when they free him because he was turned into a baby back in Defenders 16. Eric The Red simply fires a ray out of his hand at Magneto and POOF, he’s an adult again. Pretty handy ray to have around….. At this point Cyclops decides it’s best for Moira and Jamie to wait in the jet while he finds the X-Men.

 

Let the games begin! With a simple turn of a page we get right to the good stuff. The first lesson Magneto has for our fledgling team involves giving Wolverine a lesson is magnetism and how it can affect his claws! Picture Wolvie, flying claws first, strait into a wall! That’ll put ya in your place, bub.

 

Of course it’s right about this time that Colossus learns just how ineffective he’s going to be as he’s thrown in circles around the room!

 

Storm! Ah yes, surely Storm can give Magneto a run for his money!……….Nope. She lets loose a few lightning bolts only to have Magneto put up an “Interference Field” that deflects her lightning bolts right back at her and pretty much takes her out of the fight for good.

 

You know what? This is getting kinda sad. Our boys (and girl) are getting their butts kicked. Let’s see, Colossus gets it again as Magneto throws him out to sea with a simple gesture, Kurt (Nightcrawler) gets buried in a pile of scrap metal without even getting close to Magneto……Banshee gets really messed up when Magneto “pulls ferrous particles from the wreckage and fuses them around his body” encasing him totally in a steal body suite (Can you say Han Solo any one?). What ever shall our heros do?!

 

Ah, let’s not forget about our fearless leader……Cyclops! While Magneto is gloating about his easy victory he fails to notice Old One Eye behind him. Cyc blasts him a good one right in the back and Magneto goes down hard!

 

Satisfied for the moment, Cyc rushes over to help his palls and in the few seconds he’s doing this Magneto manages to sneak out. Darn the luck! At this point, over heavy protest by Wolvie, Cyc decides it’s a good time to split before Magneto is able to gather his wits and hit them again. So they gather Peter up out of the ocean and get the heck out of Dodge! Of course Magneto and his ego take this a sign that he’s won so he’s pretty stoked about the whole deal.

 

Now for the “here’s what you can look forward to in the future” part of the story, the last page! Cut to the command deck of “a Starjammer” half a universe away. Some big ugly alien guy is talking to a rather swashbuckling human about an “Emperor” and a Demensional Gate” and “the end of everything”! Oh man! This is about to get good, I can’t wait until the next issue!

 

REVIEW

 

The Good:

 

Who could not appreciate the significance of that last page!? We have just been introduced to Corsair and the Starjamers! We don’t actually find our Corsair’s first name until issue 107. I’m sure that all of you “old school” X-Fans know that Corsair is not only the leader of the Starjammers, but also is the father of…….oh, wait a minute, we don’t find out his last name until issue 108! Hehehe, I can’t give it away now, you’ll just have to stay tuned until my review of 108…..or better yet, get a copy and read it your self!

 

The Bad:

 

Can there be anything bad when it comes to these classic books? Maybe, but not when it comes to this one!

 

The Ugly?:

 

I found it interesting when the boat Captain calls Banshee a “Mic” on the opening page. In today’s politically correct climate you typically don’t see that kind of slang used. It’s a sure indication that your reading a book from the late 70’s.

 

Best Line:

 

Cyclops decides it’s time to split after the team gets their buts kicked by Magneto and Wolvie takes exception. The two of them get into a shouting match that Cyc wins, but Wolvie has to get the last word with:

 

“Okay Summers, this round goes to you….but from now on , Bub, all bets are off!”

 

I think Wolvie goes on to repeat similar versions of that line to every leader of the team in every Uncanny issue right up to the most recent one.

 

Cheesiest Line:

 

Just about anything that Magneto says.

 

RATINGS

 

Plot: 7

(“Please go check on my secret island lab while I’m away in New York?” Oh please.)

 

Dialogue: 8

 

Art: 9

 

Overall: 8

 

[ubiquiti]

I enjoyed reading all your reviews.

You should post 'em all!

[OldGuy]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked them. I'll post one every few days.

[blowout]

Great review Brian.

Just enough sarcasm there to remind us just how cheesy comic books can be when you over analyse them.

X2 anyone?

 

Are we going to see anymore of your reviews?

[OldGuy]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I just posted the next one.