Crisis On Infinite Message Boards 6 6

[Lantern]

Joanna, I can think of just two words that can describe that....outstanding.

 

Its like listening to an old radio broadcast, except that I am reading it. Anyway, all I need is a voice at the end saying: "Whose blood is coming from the third room? Will Professor Nefarious and Heiny be able to stand after they have their drinks? Will we every find the body that goes with that voice? Tune in next time and hear someone say 'Man, this has more sub-plots than an X-Men book!"

 

 

 

[Joanna]

Joanna, I can think of just two words that can describe that....outstanding.

 

Its like listening to an old radio broadcast, except that I am reading it. Anyway, all I need is a voice at the end saying: "Whose blood is coming from the third room? Will Professor Nefarious and Heiny be able to stand after they have their drinks? Will we every find the body that goes with that voice? Tune in next time and hear someone say 'Man, this has more sub-plots than an X-Men book!"

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you, Lantern! It means a lot to me to see the feedback.

 

You know, I am having an absolute blast with all these genres. Yesterday I got to write a western, today it's horror, and there's all the others, too (dinosaur, romance, mystery, war, and so on). It's so much fun! Most of these are genres I've never written before, and many I've never read, either. So I get to really explore them for the first time.

 

As for this issue, I hope it puts all the problems with JC behind us. Bronty and AlexH were kind enough to volunteer to take his place. I'll miss writing all the overblown pronouncements and insults of the Dr. Gloom character, but that's okay. We'll see how these new guys turn out.

 

-- Joanna

[BronzeBruce13]

I echo Lantern's sentiments about Crisis having the feel/effect of an old radio program... entertaining as always.

 

I'm not so sure you've put Dr. Gloom to bed quite yet though, by the next installment, if he's not in the ground... he's gonna get ripe.

[Joanna]

I echo Lantern's sentiments about Crisis having the feel/effect of an old radio program... entertaining as always.

 

Thank you! You've made me very happy.

 

I'm not so sure you've put Dr. Gloom to bed quite yet though, by the next installment, if he's not in the ground... he's gonna get ripe.

 

Luckily, there's that graveyard out back. Convenient, isn't it?

 

-- Joanna

[BronzeBruce13]

convenient yes...

but the sooner the corpse is 6 feet under the better. Make haste, the odor could overwhelm the house guests and prevent them from offering up interesting dialogue next segment.

[Joanna]

Issue 12, Part 1G: Are Funny Animals Popular Anymore?

 

Appearing in this issue:

 

Negative Lad (Murpho) can affect self-esteem

Larry Von Dork (Werner Von Doom) evil scientist

Fission (Rob_React) Atomic powers

Pyro (Blazingbob) Pyro powers

Ki-Zar (Comicwiz/dadaist) Killer lizard

Origami (Kevthemev) power over paper

Runt (BigMan) Shrinking power

Squatter (Lantern) knee laser beams

 

 

Issue 12, Part 1G: Are Funny Animals Popular Anymore?

 

The Bad Brigade has been walking for hours.

 

"We've been walking for hours!" complains Larry Von Dork.

 

"Well, some of us have been!" says Ki-Zar, swiveling one eye toward his own back. Runt is lying back, propped on an upraised spiky scale, singing softly.

 

"It had to be you... Had to be you... I wandered around, finally found, somebody who... Could make me be true... Could make me be blue ...And even be glad just to be sad...thinking of you..."

 

"Shut up!"

 

"Some others I've seen... Might never be mean... Might never be cross, or tried to be boss, but they wouldn't do!" he sings, raising his voice and glaring at Ki-Zar.

 

"I'm going insane!" shouts Ki-Zar, his roar echoing off distant cliffs.

 

"Shut up, you stupid lizard!" shouts Negative Lad.

 

"You shut up!"

 

"No, you!"

 

"You!"

 

"All of you, just SHUT UP!" says Fission.

 

"No, YOU shut up!" says Ki-Zar and Negative Lad simultaneously.

 

"So how long is this going to go on?" asks Origami, conversationally.

 

"Half an hour, maybe more," says Squatter.

 

"Ten bucks says an hour," says Pyro.

 

"You're on!" says Squatter. "Ki-Zar doesn't have the lung power to last that long," he whispers to Origami.

 

"SHUT THE--" Negative Lad is interrupted midsentence when a lance strikes the tree next to him. "Fuuhhh-oh."

 

Suddenly, they are surrounded by small, cute, fuzzy, cartoony animals, all of whom are armed to the teeth.

 

"And what do we have here?" says a teddy bear with an eyepatch and a bazooka.

 

"I wonder how they found us?" mumbles Larry. "I think it might've been the shouting."

 

"Ya think??" roars everyone in unison.

 

"Eeep."

 

"Yer comin' wid us," says a cigar-chomping raccoon. "Cuff'em!"

 

Ki-zar smirks. "Don't worry, Runt. They won't have cuffs big enough for me, or small enough for you."

 

A mouse with a raygun approaches Ki-Zar, puts his hand in a suddenly-appearing pocket and whips out cuffs that are five times the size of his body along with cuffs that fit Runt perfectly. "You doesn't know nothing 'bout funny animals, duz ya?"

 

"No, but I'm well-versed in proper English. Does that gain me any points?"

 

"Shaddup, all of youse!" says the raccoon. "Come peacefully or we buries ya here. Ya got me?"

 

"You don't need the cuffs. We'll come peacefully," says Pyro.

 

"They don't seem very funny to me," says Lantern.

 

A nearby monkey begins to juggle 5 grenades, doing flips every few seconds. In the middle of his act, a pie hits him in the face.

 

"That was kind of funny," says Origami. "Slapstick, but then, he's a monkey. You have to kind of expect that from a lower life form." Monkey poop hits Origami square in the face. "Aaand, I should've expected that," he says, wiping it off with a leaf.

 

"Lower life form my shiny red butt!" says the monkey. "You're lucky it wasn't a grenade."

 

"Yes, lucky would describe how I feel," says Origami, still wiping.

 

The animals finish cuffing the visitors and lead them out of the woods to a small city. The buildings look tilted, oddly-shaped, and are all painted in bright, primary colors. A dachshund on two legs stands at an intersection, directing traffic. He wears a police uniform, white gloves, a checkered hat, and blows a whistle every few seconds.

 

"Like out of a freaking cartoon," mutters Larry.

 

"Not a cartoon. A golden age comic," says Fission. "Don't you get it? We left the time stream and instead of landing someplace in history, we ended up outside of the superhero genre completely. We have to find our way back. But it's not going to be a time portal. It's going to be some sort of genre portal."

 

"A crossover!" says Squatter. "We have to find a crossover!"

 

"That's it!" says Origami. "If we can find a crossover between Funny Animals and Superheroes, we can find our way back to our own genre, and our own time stream."

 

"But whoever heard of a crossover between--"

 

"There has to be one! In all of comics history, I can't believe the two worlds never met. I mean, Archie met the Punisher for crying out loud! This can't be that hard."

 

"Guys?" interrupts Ki-Zar.

 

"What?"

 

"How are we going to find a crossover from jail?"

 

He motions toward the large "Pontakoochie Prison" sign on the red brick building they are all about to enter.

 

"Were there prison comics?" asks Runt.

 

"As a genre? No," says Pyro. "But we still might be able to work this to our advantage."

 

"How?"

 

"I have a plan..."

 

To be continued...

 

[Lantern]

I love those funny animal books from the eighties. I wasted tons of money on those when I was growing up. Boris the Bear was a true standout from that era of books. So once again, just when I think that you have covered it all you bring up something else. I for one cannot wait to find out what the plan is....

 

[Joanna]

I love those funny animal books from the eighties. I wasted tons of money on those when I was growing up. Boris the Bear was a true standout from that era of books. So once again, just when I think that you have covered it all you bring up something else. I for one cannot wait to find out what the plan is....

 

 

I have absolutely no idea what the plan is. None. But we'll find out eventually, I"m sure. I never read funny animal books, so I'm winging it. I think the plan needs to get them out of that genre fast so that I won't destroy the genre entirely.

 

Lantern, once again I thank you for responding. I thought maybe this one sucked really bad since no one had said anything. I feel better now.

 

-- Joanna

[hobbes]

"And what do we have here?" says a teddy bear with an eyepatch and a bazooka.

 

There is a mental image I will be toting around all day! Welcome back Joanna. Glad to see you have returned to the Crisis story.

 

Oh, and congratulations on the job!

 

Russ

[Joanna]

"And what do we have here?" says a teddy bear with an eyepatch and a bazooka.

 

There is a mental image I will be toting around all day! Welcome back Joanna. Glad to see you have returned to the Crisis story.

 

Oh, and congratulations on the job!

 

Russ

 

Thank you! I had planned to write another section last night, but I had to scan books for ebay instead. I'll try to get to it soon, though.

 

-- Joanna

[THE_BEYONDER]

I had planned to write another section last night

 

Will snowball make another appearance anytime soon?

[Joanna]

I had planned to write another section last night

 

Will snowball make another appearance anytime soon?

 

As you may or may not have noticed, everyone has split off into different time periods, all of which correspond with different comic book genres. Each group is having a separate, continuing adventure. You also just found out that to get back in the time stream, they need to find a crossover. This should give you some hint of what's to come.

 

I'm telling the stories of the individual groups in order, and because there are 8 separate groups/eras being developed, this takes some time. It's a way to have every character become a part of the story (instead of just a few). So patience is necessary.

 

The order of the various storylines is this:

 

1. Solar Powers (Dinosaur Comic)

2. Hostess Hoard (Romance Comic)

3. N'Superables (Detective Comic)

4. Hero Squadron (War Comic)

5. Brick, Flame War, WHG (Western Comic)

6. Villains (Horror Comic)

7. Bad Brigade (Funny Animal Comic)

8. JBH (they're next, and they're heading to the beginning of time to pick up the primary storyline. Their story will eventually collide with the Time Masters, the Lurker Blob and the Big Bangers)

 

So hang on, because after the JBH chapter, there'll be a Solar Powers chapter and then Snowball will be back with the Hostess Hoard.

 

It wouldn't seem like such a huge gap if you were reading this in one sitting, but the combo of reading piecemeal and having to wait between chapters is what makes it seem like an eternity.

 

-- Joanna

 

 

3.

[THE_BEYONDER]

I had planned to write another section last night

 

Will snowball make another appearance anytime soon?

 

As you may or may not have noticed, everyone has split off into different time periods, all of which correspond with different comic book genres. Each group is having a separate, continuing adventure. You also just found out that to get back in the time stream, they need to find a crossover. This should give you some hint of what's to come.

 

I'm telling the stories of the individual groups in order, and because there are 8 separate groups/eras being developed, this takes some time. It's a way to have every character become a part of the story (instead of just a few). So patience is necessary.

 

The order of the various storylines is this:

 

1. Solar Powers (Dinosaur Comic)

2. Hostess Hoard (Romance Comic)

3. N'Superables (Detective Comic)

4. Hero Squadron (War Comic)

5. Brick, Flame War, WHG (Western Comic)

6. Villains (Horror Comic)

7. Bad Brigade (Funny Animal Comic)

8. JBH (they're next, and they're heading to the beginning of time to pick up the primary storyline. Their story will eventually collide with the Time Masters, the Lurker Blob and the Big Bangers)

 

So hang on, because after the JBH chapter, there'll be a Solar Powers chapter and then Snowball will be back with the Hostess Hoard.

 

It wouldn't seem like such a huge gap if you were reading this in one sitting, but the combo of reading piecemeal and having to wait between chapters is what makes it seem like an eternity.

 

-- Joanna

 

 

3.

 

Ever think of turning CRISIS into a comic book? How about an animated series? Do you have clear visions of what each character would look like? How about their voices? What kind of noise does it make when the Hostess Hoard( shameless plug ) use their powers?

[Joanna]

 

Ever think of turning CRISIS into a comic book? How about an animated series? Do you have clear visions of what each character would look like? How about their voices? What kind of noise does it make when the Hostess Hoard( shameless plug ) use their powers?

 

1. There are some people who are possibly working on illustrating the story.

 

2. I think animation is bit beyond our realm here.

 

3. Visually, I'm a little hazy on some, and I know exactly on others. That is what got me in trouble with Joe Collector. Because Dr. Gloom was a villain, I made him less than perfect in my mind and Joe thought I was calling him less than perfect. I never see the characters as what any of you actually look like (as if I'd know). To me, they're all just characters.

 

4. All of the voices are in my head, so I definitely know how they sound. I'm very aural. Chalk it up to my career as a voice actress.

 

5. SPLUUURTGGG!

 

-- Joanna

[THE_BEYONDER]

5. SPLUUURTGGG!

 

[Joanna]

Crisis is going to have to be on hiatus for a bit, guys. The deadline for the two books is mid-January, so I only have a few weeks to write them both. This means I have to maximize my writing time. The advance isn't large enough to pay the bills while I'm writing, so I'll also have to continue to write auction for ebay, as well. There just isn't enough time to write Crisis, too.

 

I'm very sorry about this. I hope you'll all understand.

 

-- Joanna

 

 

[BronzeBruce13]

of course Joanna... no explanation needed.

 

Now... get to work!

 

 

thought-1:

will your books be thin enough to fit in an CGC magazine slab or thicker comic slab? if so, you could ask CGC to create a limited edition (25) signature series for forumites that want in on the ground floor of your impending run at the NY Times Best Sellers list. Of course, that would boost sales as we'd still have to buy a reader copy

 

thought-2: Crisis could become a "pay per write" event in which $X per segment must be raised before posting... that will land you some pizza$

 

 

Seriously... congrats again!

You must be so excited at this point.. you're writing "paid for" work.

 

 

<----- Joannna

[Joanna]

of course Joanna... no explanation needed.

 

Now... get to work!

 

 

thought-1:

will your books be thin enough to fit in an CGC magazine slab or thicker comic slab? if so, you could ask CGC to create a limited edition (25) signature series for forumites that want in on the ground floor of your impending run at the NY Times Best Sellers list. Of course, that would boost sales as we'd still have to buy a reader copy

 

I don't think these two will be hits on the forum, but the next one has serious forum best seller potential. Write what you know, right?

 

thought-2: Crisis could become a "pay per write" event in which $X per segment must be raised before posting... that will land you some pizza$

 

I think Joe Collector is a big enough fan that he'll bankroll the whole thing.

 

 

Seriously... congrats again!

You must be so excited at this point.. you're writing "paid for" work.

 

Finally! Been awhile, but persistance pays off!

 

 

<----- Joannna

 

Yup! I wrote chapter one last night, and man, it felt good.

 

-- Joanna

 

 

[tb]

That last chapter was absolutely brilliant !

[Joanna]

That last chapter was absolutely brilliant !

 

Thank you, hkp! That means a lot coming from a duck collector!

 

-- Joanna