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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

chrisco37

chrisco37

Posted
Posted
To be continued

 

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ...

 

Sorry... sometimes the 5-year-old inside me takes over... smile.gif

 

What's up w/ you today, House? Stirrin' things up all over the boards! smile.gif

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted
To be continued

 

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ...

 

Sorry... sometimes the 5-year-old inside me takes over... smile.gif

 

Go beat up your sister. We still have one more day.

 

But I do apprciate the props in your favorite thread thread. Made me get all excited about writing it again.

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lighthouse

lighthouse

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Posted
What's up w/ you today, House? Stirrin' things up all over the boards! smile.gif

 

I took the day off to prepare for the "whatever fell off the back of the truck" sale tomorrow... Now if I can just find where I put my gilly suit... 893scratchchin-thumb.gif

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Joanna

Joanna

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La la la la la! My books are done! Just did a final read-through... done done done done done done done!!!

 

Sooo... anyone in the mood for some Crisis? I am. Gonna rest my poor ole noggin tonight but expect a new chapter in a thread near you (er... this one, actually).

 

La la la la la!

 

I shoulda planned a celebration.

 

-- Joanna

 

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Illiterati-migration

Illiterati-migration

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Woo-Hoo... Hot Fudge Sundaes all around! thumbsup2.gif

 

We'll just need a sign that says "Please Do Not Step On The MajorKhaos" for after Logan has his... tongue.gif

 

Don't you worry about me! I'll get juiced up and it'll be hot fudge all night long! (?)

 

 

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted (edited)

Issue 12, Part 2B: Forbidden Love

 

 

The Hostess Hoard

 

Twinkie (Hogations) goo

Snowball (The Beyonder) goo

Ding Dong (Aman) goo

Ho Ho (Ninanina) goo

Fruit Pie (JLA All the Way) goo

Cupcake (Doyle) goo

Susie Q (Andrew Knight) goo

 

 

Issue 12, Part 2B: Forbidden Love

 

Big Red, the head of the small tribe of Neanderthals, is running back and forth down the long valley on a sugar high of Paleolithic proportions. The rest of his tribe chase him, with the exception of his daughter, Goo. Goo and Snowball are nowhere to be found.

 

"Anyone seen Snowball?" asks Cupcake.

 

"I think he went into the cave with Goo to see her etchings," says Fruit Pie.

 

"Neanderthals don't do etchings. That's a Cro-Magnon thing," says Twinkie.

 

"Whatever."

 

"Do we need to find him?" asks Ding Dong.

 

"I think we need to stop introducing foreign products like creamy Hostess filling into the diets of Neanderthals," says Ho Ho, watching the chasing tribesmen.

 

"They run funny," says Susie Q.

 

"What do you suppose Snowball is talking about with a Neanderthal chick? It's not like they speak the same language," says Cupcake.

 

"You wanna break them up? Be my guest. I'm too full of mammoth to care," says Twinkie, popping a seam on his spandex. "Dangit. Anyone have a needle and sinew I can borrow?"

 

"I'm going to go look for him," says Cupcake, trying to get to his feet. The energy needed to stand proves too much and he plops back down. "In about an hour."

 

"Wise decision. Ding Dong need nap. Him sleep now. Unh." Ding Dong closes his eyes and is soon snoring loudly.

 

"Ding Dong need therapist," mumbles Ho Ho. "Does he think that sounded like the Neanderthals? Because it didn't. I found their grammar to be surprisingly advanced."

 

"Don't freaking pretend you understand them, you liar!" Fruit Pie says with a sneer.

 

"Was I, or was I not the one who, halfway through dinner, passed the beetle paste to Big Red when asked? Answer that and we'll see who's lying."

 

"He pointed at the bowl and grunted. The rest of us were stymied by that complex and erudite example of hominid communication. Thank Grog the Magic Tree Toad you were there to interpret!"

 

"Heh. Tree Toad," chuckles Susie Q.

 

"But I was right! He wanted the beetle paste, I gave him the beetle paste, and he thanked me for it!"

 

"He blew his nose in his hand and wiped the snot on your sleeve!"

 

"A gesture of gratitude!"

 

"Shut up the both of you! Some of us are trying to nap!" says Ding Dong.

 

"You started this!" shrieks Ho Ho.

 

"On what planet? I was asleep!"

 

Ho Ho, Ding Dong, and Fruit Pie stand, ready to fight.

 

Twinkie glances at them, listening to them grunt and posture, then looks toward the meadow and sees the Neanderthals are now picking flowers and chasing butterflies. "Aaaand all is right with the world. Carry on, men!" He turns his back and goes to sleep.

 

Meanwhile...

 

Inside the cave, Goo and Snowball stop listening to the fight and turn back to each other.

 

"It'll never work. We're from two different worlds," says Snowball. Gosh, she's awful pretty when she isn't in direct sunlight. Those deep brown eyes, full lips, and flat nose really compliment the overhanging brow ridges, lack of chin and occipital lobe. I wonder if I have a chance with her?

 

"Gruh nkkkt mablt, Snnnnbl," says Goo. He's so dreamy. None of the other girls know any boys with chins. If only my parents weren't so old-fashioned. So what if his kind have small throwing spears instead of big thrusting ones. Big spears aren't everything. My friend Blehhh says that it's not the size of the spear, it's how you use it. Besides, thrusting is soooo homoerectus.

 

"I wish I knew what you were thinking, Goo." Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

"Blllt mnbg flurk, Snnnbl." This is so frustrating! If only we had more vowels, I know I could communicate with him! I guess I'll just have to use the universal language of horniness.

 

Goo reaches over and softly caresses Snowball's cheek. The answering sparkle in his eyes gives her strength so she rips his clothing off with one powerful stroke and begins screeching wildly in the age-old Neanderthal mating ritual. Snowball screams, trying to cover his nakedness but he is instantly pinned beneath her voluptuous, hairy body.

 

Moments before...

 

"What's that up there?" asks Susie Q, interrupting the all-out brawl between Ho Ho, Ding Dong, and Fruit Pie.

 

"Wha...?" asks Twinkie, sleepily. He glances toward the sky where Susie Q is pointing. Nine figures are orbiting toward them on a steady path. "If it weren't impossible, I'd say that's the Solar Powers."

 

The outermost orbiting figure waves and they hear a faint shout. "Yo! Hostess!"

 

"It is the Solar Powers!" says Susie Q. Wonder what they're doing here?"

 

Just then, they all hear a piercing Neanderthal wail from inside the cave. It's followed shortly by a high-pitched scream human scream.

 

"Anyone want to go check on Snowball?" asks Twinkie.

 

"In a bit. I want to see what the Solar Powers are doing here."

 

"Me, too."

 

"Yeah, me too."

 

"Okee doke. I'm sure he's fine," says Twinkie, rising to greet their fellow superheroes.

 

To be continued...

 

Edited by Joanna
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Zonker

Zonker

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Posted

I love how the boards mask

 

Besides, thrusting is soooo [!@#%^&^] erectus (homoerectus)

 

 

The PC police stepping on a funny line just makes it funnier! 27_laughing.gif

I can't decide Joanna in the context of the story is that a double or a triple pun?

 

 

 

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Joanna

Joanna

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Posted
I love how the boards mask

 

Besides, thrusting is soooo [!@#%^&^] erectus (homoerectus)

 

 

The PC police stepping on a funny line just makes it funnier! 27_laughing.gif

I can't decide Joanna in the context of the story is that a double or a triple pun?

 

 

 

All I know is that it was irresistable. But I hadn't thought about the masking problem. I may have to edit and make it one word, as you did. I'd hate for it to be misinterpreted as having some sort of secondary (sexual) meaning, after all.

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lighthouse

lighthouse

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Posted
Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

Oh, that brought back some memories... cloud9.gif

 

'House, you know some interesing women.

 

lol... Well that goes without saying... 893scratchchin-thumb.gif

 

But I heard that exact expression used several times growing up, when a boy would say something nice to a girl, and she'd get that momentary glow that girls get... which was the signal that her defenses were down and it was time to steal a kiss... I was about 10 years old when a buddy of mine first made his move on the girl across the street... We were silently cheering him on from up in the elm tree where she couldn't see us... cloud9.gif

 

Ah... memories... cloud9.gif

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted
Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

Oh, that brought back some memories... cloud9.gif

 

'House, you know some interesing women.

 

lol... Well that goes without saying... 893scratchchin-thumb.gif

 

But I heard that exact expression used several times growing up, when a boy would say something nice to a girl, and she'd get that momentary glow that girls get... which was the signal that her defenses were down and it was time to steal a kiss... I was about 10 years old when a buddy of mine first made his move on the girl across the street... We were silently cheering him on from up in the elm tree where she couldn't see us... cloud9.gif

 

Ah... memories... cloud9.gif

 

Joke's on me -- I thought I had a line where she'd just put her handaxe down in order to stroke his face, but it got deleted (probably grabbed too much in a highlight). Maybe it's better as it is.

 

-- Joanna

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THE_BEYONDER

THE_BEYONDER

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Posted

Goo reaches over and softly caresses Snowball's cheek. The answering sparkle in his eyes gives her strength so she rips his clothing off with one powerful stroke and begins screeching wildly in the age-old Neanderthal mating ritual. Snowball screams, trying to cover his nakedness but he is instantly pinned beneath her voluptuous, hairy body.

 

 

3_8_9.gif

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Joanna

Joanna

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Posted

Because people posted responses this time, I decided to do a little more writing. Here ya go:

 

Issue 12, Part 2c: Gotta Find Me Some Action

 

The N'Superables

 

Emoticon (BachelorOfComix) can be any emoticon

Rerun (Araich) TV in belly

Alias (Bonds) can split into 12

Mylite (greggy) slabbed, irresistible

Dirk Diamond (MinuteKev) Private Eye

 

Issue 12, Part 2c: Gotta Find Me Some Action

 

 

Dirk Diamond, Private Eye, leaves the N'Superables when he finally figures out that they haven't any money. The group is despondent, and sit on a park bench, trying to figure out their next move. Alias is reading a discarded newspaper while Mylite looks over his shoulder. Rerun turns all the channels on his belly, but can only get static.

 

"I don't get it! There's nothing here. Static... static... more static... static..."

 

"You gonna say that with every channel? You have about 600 or so," says Emoticon.

 

"Maybe."

 

"Turn the page," says Mylite.

 

"I'm not done yet," says Alias.

 

"I am, so turn the page, already."

 

"Shut up! I'm reading here."

 

"What is so fascinating?"

 

"They found the mummy of a Neanderthal in a glacier. Totally preserved. But here's the weird part." He reads aloud,"'An analysis of the contents of his stomach showed a substance with the same chemical formula as that of the creamy filling found in Hostess Twinkies and Ho Ho's.' Bizarre, huh?"

 

"...static... static... static... static..."

 

"Yeah. Turn the page."

 

"In a second. What's up your butt? We're talking a Neanderthal here, man!"

 

"Is the Neanderthal me? Because if the Neanderthal isn't me, I'm not interested. Turn the page."

 

"Let's see... continued on page 4..."

 

"...static... static... static..."

 

"Not page 4! The next page, doofus!"

 

"Is your slab too tight? I don't want to turn to the next page. I want to read about the Snack Cake Cave Man. That's what they're calling him. How would a cave man get his hands on a Hostess Twinkie?"

 

"...static... static... static..."

 

"SHUT UP!!!" screams Emoticon. He tries to turn into an angry smiley with an axe, but nothing happens. He tries again, this time shooting for an army smiley with a bazooka. Still nothing. "Uh oh."

 

"...static... static... what? Static... static..."

 

"I can't turn."

 

"Turn the page!"

 

"No! Get your own paper!"

 

"...static... static... turn what? Static... static..."

 

"I can't turn into an emoticon! My powers! They're... ::gasp:: gone!"

 

Everyone turns to emoticon. Rerun stops changing his channels, Alias puts down the paper, Mylite steals the paper.

 

"Your powers are gone?" asks Alias.

 

"Mine too!" says Rerun. "All I get is static!"

 

"This isn't good."

 

"No TV," mumbles Mylite.

 

"What?"

 

"TV. There wasn't much being broadcast in freaking 1938, you know."

 

"Was it even invented?" asks Emoticon.

 

"Yeah, but it didn't really catch on until after World War II."

 

"So what does that have to do with my not being able to turn into things?"

 

"Personal computers, email, the net -- emoticons? 1938? Getting the picture?"

 

"I can't get a picture," whines Rerun.

 

Alias splits himself into 12 people, just to check. His powers work.

 

"You look particulary nice today, Mylite," says one of his aliases.

 

"Thank you, I--"

 

From behind, a second alias snatches the paper while the others laugh. "Suckahhhh!" Alias quickly reintegrates and goes back to reading the paper.

 

"That's it? 'You haven't been invented yet' and then back to your stupid newspaper? This is a crisis!"

 

"Duh," says Mylite, checking the thread title.

 

"So, boys, you still on the nut?" says Dirk Diamond, approaching the four despondent superheroes.

 

"Yeah, we're still broke," says Rerun. When the others look at him, he says, "I watched a lot of gangster films on my stomach."

 

"Don't mind us, Dirk. We're a little depressed because Rerun is here before World War II, Emoticon is here before the internet, and Mylite is just here," says Alias, playing keep-away with the paper.

 

"World War II?" asks Dirk, then he shakes his head. "You mean the Great War, but it's over."

 

"Nah, we're talking the Hitler version," says Emoticon.

 

Dirk laughs. "That Hitler fellow, he's full of hooey. Don't mind him. The frenchies'll take care of that sap."

 

"Give me the paper!" says Mylite, now not even able to read over his shoulder.

 

"You need something to read? Here," says Dirk. He pulls a folded copy of Action Comics #1 out of his jacket pocket and holds it out to Mylite.

 

"You... f-f-f-folded it... ::gnork::"

 

"Just picked it up at the newsstand. Bought it for the Pep Morgan story. But don't let the title fool you -- it may have action, but it ain't much on comedy."

 

Mylite stares at the once minty-fresh Action Comics #1, now with a non-color-breaking creased down the center. "::gnork::"

 

"Here, I opened it to Pep for ya." Before Mylite can move, Dirk opens the comic, folds back the cover, then runs his nail down the edge to keep the cover turned.

 

"::Snnggrkkt::" Mylite passes out. Turning to see what's going on, Alias, Emoticon and Rerun see the folded comic and also pass out.

 

"Huh. Didn't take them for roundheels, but you can't always crab things by looks alone. C'mon, wake up, ya mugs."

 

The guys slowly regain consciousness, their eyes fastened on the Action #1.

 

"Where did you get that?" asks Alias.

 

"Newsie's got'em. Dropped a dime on it."

 

"When? When did you buy it?"

 

"This morning, why? What's the skinny?"

 

"To the newsstand!" shouts Mylite, already hopping his slab in that direction.

 

"I thought you guys were looking for a swirly thing!" shouts Dirk. "Some sort of portal? I think I--"

 

They're all gone.

 

"--found one. Huh. They must be hitting the nose candy." Shrugging, he folds the comic back into his pocket and heads off in the direction they were last seen.

 

To be continued...

 

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

So did this one suck or does everyone just hate Mylite? Next up is Hero Squadron in WWII -- anyone want to read about them? Should I start skipping groups or keep on the schedule (see below)?

 

  • Schedule:
  • Solar Powers (Dinosaur Comic)
  • Hosess Hoard (Romance Comic - Neanderthal Style)
  • N'Superables (Detective Comic - Chicago 1939)
  • Hero Squadron (War Comic - WWII)
  • Brick, Flame War, Where'd He Go (Western Comic)
  • The Villains (Horror Comic)
  • JBH (the beginning of time)

 

Should I keep 'visiting' every group or would you prefer I sped things up? Just asking for input.

 

-- Joanna

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