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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

greggy

greggy

Posted
Posted

 

Woman, thy name is fickle.

 

I can't like more than one person? Fine. I've stopped liking now. No more liking. It just causes heartache and pain. Of course, this means Rerun gets no support from me (and he's going through a traumatic TV-free time right now) but I'm through with liking. From now on, I'm modeling my posting style after hammer. I will simply offer large sums of money for the joy of removing eyeballs and such. And then I will restore said eyeballs with a quick trim and color touch -- don't it make your brown eyes blue?

 

-- Joanna

 

P.S. Pov, I still like you.

P.P.S. D'oh!

 

 

Rats - I have erred...I MEANT to say "Fickle, thy name is woman."

sorry.giffrown.gif

Rookie! smirk.gif
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PovertyRow

PovertyRow

Posted
Posted

 

Woman, thy name is fickle.

 

I can't like more than one person? Fine. I've stopped liking now. No more liking. It just causes heartache and pain. Of course, this means Rerun gets no support from me (and he's going through a traumatic TV-free time right now) but I'm through with liking. From now on, I'm modeling my posting style after hammer. I will simply offer large sums of money for the joy of removing eyeballs and such. And then I will restore said eyeballs with a quick trim and color touch -- don't it make your brown eyes blue?

 

-- Joanna

 

P.S. Pov, I still like you.

P.P.S. D'oh!

 

 

Rats - I have erred...I MEANT to say "Fickle, thy name is woman."

sorry.giffrown.gif

Rookie! smirk.gif

 

Rats again! And I studied Khaos' style SO closely, too, frown.gif

 

I hope Joanna realizes the highjacking will continue until the next installment appears. Hungry for installments we are!

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lighthouse

lighthouse

Posted
Posted

 

Woman, thy name is fickle.

 

I can't like more than one person? Fine. I've stopped liking now. No more liking. It just causes heartache and pain. Of course, this means Rerun gets no support from me (and he's going through a traumatic TV-free time right now) but I'm through with liking. From now on, I'm modeling my posting style after hammer. I will simply offer large sums of money for the joy of removing eyeballs and such. And then I will restore said eyeballs with a quick trim and color touch -- don't it make your brown eyes blue?

 

-- Joanna

 

P.S. Pov, I still like you.

P.P.S. D'oh!

 

 

Rats - I have erred...I MEANT to say "Fickle, thy name is woman."

sorry.giffrown.gif

Rookie! smirk.gif

 

Rats again! And I studied Khaos' style SO closely, too, frown.gif

 

I hope Joanna realizes the highjacking will continue until the next installment appears. Hungry for installments we are!

 

I have it on very good authority that we will have another chapter by Friday... cloud9.gif

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greggy

greggy

Posted
Posted

 

Woman, thy name is fickle.

 

I can't like more than one person? Fine. I've stopped liking now. No more liking. It just causes heartache and pain. Of course, this means Rerun gets no support from me (and he's going through a traumatic TV-free time right now) but I'm through with liking. From now on, I'm modeling my posting style after hammer. I will simply offer large sums of money for the joy of removing eyeballs and such. And then I will restore said eyeballs with a quick trim and color touch -- don't it make your brown eyes blue?

 

-- Joanna

 

P.S. Pov, I still like you.

P.P.S. D'oh!

 

 

Rats - I have erred...I MEANT to say "Fickle, thy name is woman."

sorry.giffrown.gif

Rookie! smirk.gif

 

Rats again! And I studied Khaos' style SO closely, too, frown.gif

 

I hope Joanna realizes the highjacking will continue until the next installment appears. Hungry for installments we are!

 

I have it on very good authority that we will have another chapter by Friday... cloud9.gif

The rumours are true. You are Joanna's "dumber" shill! 893naughty-thumb.gif
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PovertyRow

PovertyRow

Posted
Posted
The rumours are true. You are Joanna's "dumber" shill! 893naughty-thumb.gif

 

893whatthe.gif What? "Joanna" is also Chuck Rozanski? Why am I always the last to know? gossip.gifconfused-smiley-013.gif

 

It was so obvious - no two people could be so skilled in the writing of fantasy fiction without being one in the same! grin.gif

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

I have it on very good authority that we will have another chapter by Friday... cloud9.gif

 

I was standing on a freeway offramp with a sign that said, "Will write for free shipping" when Lighthouse pulled up.

 

-- Chuck R.

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted (edited)

A new service for the readers. Because it's been so long since you last read what was going on with this group, you might want to read Issue 12, Part 1C again before reading the new installment. If so, go here. Now for the new stuff:

 

Issue 12, Part 2D: Prisoners of War!

 

Appearing in this issue:

 

The Hero Squadron:

 

Sgt. Rocky (Awe4one) Super strength

Damp Dude (Elvis) Aqua powers

Magic Tape (Scottish) stickiness

Go Go (Speedjunkies) Superspeed

Zilla (Zillatoy) Ninja dinosaur

Ape (CD4ever) Shape shifter

Chrome Dome (Chromium) power over metal

 

Sgt. Hoffman (leader of the German patrol) Alex H.

 

Issue 12, Part 2D: Prisoners of War!

 

 

Go Go, Magic Tape, and Ape are surrounded by a dozen German soldiers. Their job had been to tape the German uniforms to the trees, so that Sarge could shoot at something. It was Chrome's plan, and not a very good one. In fact, all three men are thinking that it was truly one of the suckiest plans ever.

 

"Say something in German," whispers Tape.

 

"Dahnk-ah-shane, darling dahnk-ah-shaaaane," sings Ape.

 

"Wayne Newton?" asks Tape. "That's the best you can do?"

 

"Yah-vole," says Ape, phonetically.

 

"Warum danken Sie uns?" asks a German soldier who learned to speak on babblefish.com because not everyone actually speaks German and therefore couldn't begin to write in it.

 

"What's he saying?" asks Go Go.

 

"He asks vhy you are thanking us," says the leader of the German patrol. "I personally vould ask why you are singing to us, but that is just me."

 

"You speak English?" asks Tape.

 

"No, it is pure coincidence zat you are understanding me. Of course I speak English, you dolt!"

 

"And very well, too," says Ape.

 

"Ja, vell, I vas a good student. I von a medal in ze 8th grade!"

 

"No kidding? I never won anything."

 

"It is your lucky day! You haff just von a free trip to stalag 19!"

 

The other Germans applaud. "Glückwünsche!"

 

"They are giving you their congratulations. You may now sing your response."

 

""Dahnk-ah-shane, darling dahnk-ah-shaaaane," sings Ape. "Distraaact them, I've got a plaaa-aaaan."

 

"Vas I not supposed to understand zat last part? Because I still speak English, you know. I did not suddenly forget it because you sang ze vords."

 

"Oops. "

 

"Ve vill now confer, my men und I. While you 3 are standing here alone, do not make any plans or try to escape. You vill die if you do."

 

The Germans go huddle, their weapons still pointed at the 3 members of the Hero Squadron.

 

"So what's your plan, Ape?" asks Go Go.

 

"Are you nuts? You heard him! He'll kill us if I tell you my plan!"

 

"How will he know if we're planning or just talking about strippers or something?"

 

The German looks over and frowns. "Are you discussing plans?"

 

"Strippers!" says Tape. "Talking about strippers."

 

"That is, of course, perfectly acceptable. In fact, we, too, are discussing strippers. Carry on."

 

"So what's the plan?" whispers Tape.

 

"One of you distract them. I'll morph into a German soldier and say that you're my prisoners. They'll release you to my custody and we'll get out of here."

 

"And you're going to convince them that you are a German soldier by speaking English?"

 

"With an accent! It can't fail."

 

Meanwhile...

 

Damp Dude continues to distract Sarge.

 

"You add the eggs before or after the flour?" asks Damp Dude.

 

"Before! You sift the flour over the batter with the eggs, then you stir it in."

 

"Gotcha. So why are they called Toll House instead of plain old chocolate chip cookies?"

 

"They just are, okay? I am never sharing recipes with you again. You ask too many questions."

 

"I'm just trying to learn."

 

Suddenly, several grenades explode nearby.

 

"Everybody down!" shouts Sarge. Damp Dude gets down. "Where the hell is everyone?"

 

"I've been shot!" screams Damp Dude.

 

"That was a grenade. No one is shooting."

 

"I've been grenaded!"

 

"Where are ya hurt, buddy?"

 

DD clutches his chest. "The pain! The pain!"

 

Sarge tries to loosen DD's hands, but DD holds on tight. "Let me see...!"

 

"You go on without me. No reason both of us should die."

 

"I'm not headed anywhere right now. Let me see."

 

"My life... flashing before my eyes..."

 

"I'm not seeing any blood. Where are you hit?"

 

"Momma...? Is that you...? Just ten more minutes... please, Momma..."

 

"There really should be some sign of blood by now. "

 

"...huu...lk... 1... 81..."

 

"Your face is still pink, your pulse is strong, your eyes are clear, there's no blood... "

 

"...oh, I have... wasted... my... life..."

 

"...you're able to quote the Simpsons, your blood pressure is normal, you're clutching a different place on your chest now... is it possible that you just thought you were grenaded?"

 

"Tell Momma I... loved her..." DD's head slumps to the side, his eyes staring into space.

 

"Why... WHY... WHY! Why did he have to die so young!" screams Sarge.

 

A short time ago...

 

"You'll use an accent?"

 

"The head German guy has an accent. He'll think I'm just a German guy like him, who talks in English but says 'v's instead of 'w's."

 

Suddenly, several grenades explode near the Amercian position.

 

"Erhalten Sie hinunter! Und, for ze Americans, get down!"

 

Everyone drops to the ground. Ape turns into a German Field Marshall. Go Go disappears.

 

"Where'd Go Go go?" asks Tape. He sees Ape. "Ahh!"

 

"Shh! It's me! Don't vorry!" whispers Ape in the worst German accent in recorded history.

 

"This plan just might work!" says Tape brightly. "You totally fooled me."

 

"See? Toldja so."

 

Tape glances over at the German solders. They're all unconscious. Go Go gathers their weapons.

 

"So, Tape, you want to stick them on the trees now? The grenades were Chrome's part of the plan. We still haven't done our part. By now, Damp Dude must be desperate -- probably trading recipes or something."

 

"Are they really out?" asks Ape, slowly rising. He suddenly falls unconscious.

 

"Sorry, didn't see that one," says Go Go.

 

"That was Ape!"

 

"Oh geez. Man, he totally fooled me!"

 

"He's very good."

 

"Let's just skip this plan. We'll stage a fake battle some other time."

 

"I'm with you, Go Go. We need to look for the portal."

 

The two men grab the unconscious Ape and carry him back to the Sarge's position. Neither man remembers to secure the German patrol.

 

To be continued...

 

 

So, 'House... free shipping?

 

 

 

Edited by Joanna
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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted
This is great stuff.... thumbsup2.gif

 

Thanks for continuing the saga.....893applaud-thumb.gif

 

Jim

 

Bet you're thinking that it was really realistic, huh? Exactly like war and stuff? I apologize if you got any flashbacks due to its authenticity.

 

(thanks, Jim!)

 

-- Joanna

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted
Any plans for new villians to show up? 893scratchchin-thumb.gif893crossfingers-thumb.gif

 

You can be the German soldier, if you want.

 

Sure, but only if it doesn't screw up your plans.

 

I'm supposed to have plans? Wait a minute -- the German soldier specifically said "No talking about plans!" Are you sure you're cut out for this? Or are you a mole? An enemy agent? A spy? Maybe you're not even German at all!

 

(no one told me I was supposed to know what I was doing, and make plans. I'm in so much trouble now).

 

-- Joanna

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AlexH

AlexH

Posted
Posted
Any plans for new villians to show up? 893scratchchin-thumb.gif893crossfingers-thumb.gif

 

You can be the German soldier, if you want.

 

Sure, but only if it doesn't screw up your plans.

 

I'm supposed to have plans? Wait a minute -- the German soldier specifically said "No talking about plans!" Are you sure you're cut out for this? Or are you a mole? An enemy agent? A spy? Maybe you're not even German at all!

 

(no one told me I was supposed to know what I was doing, and make plans. I'm in so much trouble now).

 

-- Joanna

 

Vat vas I tinking? foreheadslap.gif

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PovertyRow

PovertyRow

Posted
Posted

 

Vat vas I tinking? foreheadslap.gif

 

If you go back to look at the chapter, you'll see that you are now officially a part of Crisis.

 

Whoo-hoo!!! Thanks Joanna!

 

I am now officially eeeeevvvvviiilllllll. devil.gif

 

Yes, not just Evil - but Eeevvillll the way Darth Vader turned to Eeevvvviiillll!

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Illiterati-migration

Illiterati-migration

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

Vat vas I tinking? foreheadslap.gif

 

If you go back to look at the chapter, you'll see that you are now officially a part of Crisis.

 

Whoo-hoo!!! Thanks Joanna!

 

I am now officially eeeeevvvvviiilllllll. devil.gif

 

Yes, not just Evil - but Eeevvillll the way Darth Vader turned to Eeevvvviiillll!

 

Eeeevillllle? Like the Fru-its of the Devilllle?

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