bane

the whole Rob Granito thing was funny.

I miss Lancashire kitchens

Season 2 is fantastic so far (5 episodes in), really builds on everything from season 1.

Dark Crimes (2016) Based upon the investigative article "True Crimes: A Postmodern Murder Mystery" published in the New Yorker in 2008 by David Gans about the real life convicted murderer Krystian Bala, who was eventually tied to the unsolved murder of Polish businessman Dariusz Janiszewski after detectives found Bala's fictional novel "Amok" contained a fictional version of the real life killing using information only the police and murderer would know! Jim Carrey, Marton Csokas, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kati Outinen, Vlad Ivanov Directed by: Alexandros Avranas Platform: NowTV IMDB: 5.1/10, RT: 0% Rotten Synopsis: Tadek, a police officer who finds similarities between the assassination of a policeman and a crime narrated in a book by the writer, Krystov Kozlow. When Tadek begins to track down Kozlow and his girlfriend, a mysterious underground sex club worker, his obsession will grow and descend to the underworld of sex, lies and corruption to find the terrible truth. Verdict: Its interesting to see Jim Carrey in a subdued straight role but the true story seems vastly more interesting than this plodding interpretation.

Danger One (2018) Tom Everett Scott, James Jurdi, Angelica Celaya, Denis O'Hare, Michael O'Neill Directed by: Tom Oesch Platform: NowTV IMDB: 5.8/10 Synopsis: While transporting a dying man to the hospital, two paramedics find a million dollars in cash sewn into his clothing. When the man dies, they decide to keep it, setting them on a path for a hellish night of violence and mayhem. Verdict: Didn't hold my interest, acting from the two leads was a bit amateur, gave it 20 minutes.

Dance Flick (2009) Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr, Chris Elliott, Christina Murphy Directed by: Damien Dante Wayans Platform: Netflix IMDB: 3.5/10, RT: 18% Rotten Synopsis: Street dancer Thomas Uncles is from the wrong side of the tracks, but his bond with the beautiful Megan White might help the duo realize their dreams as they enter in the mother of all dance battles. Verdict: Another unfunny Wayan brothers parody. Who keeps giving the 25 Wayan brothers money to make this crud?

Damsel (2018) Robert Pattinson, Mia Wasikowska, David Zellner, Nathan Zellner Written & Directed by: David & Nathan Zellner Platform: NowTV IMDB: 5.6/10, RT: 69% Fresh Synopsis: It's the Wild West, circa 1870. Samuel Alabaster, an affluent pioneer, ventures across the American frontier to marry the love of his life, Penelope. As his group traverses the west, the once-simple journey grows treacherous, blurring the lines between hero, villain and damsel. Verdict: A comedy in the vein of Coen Brothers, it has its moments but there are large periods where literally nothing happens, to the point where less patient will turn it off. Pattinson is quite good but I still don't see him as Batman.

Damascus Cover (2017) Olivia Thirlby, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, John Hurt, Jurgen Prochnow Directed by: David Zelik Berk Platform: NowTV IMDB: 5.1/10, RT: 14% Rotten Synopsis: A spy navigates the precarious terrain of love and survival during an undercover mission in Syria. Verdict: Didn't interest me, Rhys Meyers was phoning it in, if he can't be bothered I don't see why I should.

Dallas Buyers Club (2013) Based on the true story of Ron Woodroof Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto, Steve Zahn, Denis O'Hare & Michael O'Neill Directed by: Jean-Marc Vallee Platform: Netflix IMDB: 8/10, RT: 93% Fresh McConaughey won the Oscar for best actor, Leto won the Oscar for best supporting actor Synopsis: In 1985 Dallas, electrician and hustler Ron Woodroof works around the system to help AIDS patients get the medication they need after he is diagnosed with the disease. Verdict: Entertaining drama with two excellent performances by Mcconaughey and Leto. Recommended!

The Cured (2017) Ellen Page, Sam Keeley, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, Stuart Graham, Paula Malcomson Written & Directed by: David Freyne Platform: Netflix IMDB: 5.5/10, RT: 68% Fresh Synopsis: A disease that turns people into zombies has been cured. The once-infected zombies are discriminated against by society and their own families, which causes social issues to arise. This leads to militant government interference. Verdict: This is really what "28 Weeks Later" should have been, enjoyable drama.

Cruel Intentions (1999) Based upon the novel "Les Liaisons dangereuses" (1782) by Choderlos de Laclos Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selmar Blair, Joshua Jackson Directed by: Roger Kumble (Directorial Debut) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 6.8/10, RT: 54% Rotten Synopsis: Two vicious step-siblings of an elite Manhattan prep school make a wager: to deflower the new headmaster's daughter before the start of term. Verdict: Entertaining 90s fluff.

The Crucifixion (2017) Sophie Cookson, Ada Lupu, Brittany Ashworth Directed by: Xavier Gans (Hitman, Cold Skin) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 5.1/10, RT: 6% Rotten Synopsis: When Nicole comes in contact with Father Anton (Corneliu Ulici) more and more inexplicable events occur. The pair begin to believe that the priest lost the battle with a demon. Verdict: Yawn.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016) - A Netflix original movie Based upon the novel "Iron Knight, Silver Vase" by Wang Dulu Michelle Yeoh, Donnie Yen, Harry Shum Jr., Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Jason Scott Lee, Eugenia Yuan, Roger Yuan Directed by: Woo-Ping Yuen (Drunken Master) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 6.1/10, RT: 20% Rotten Synopsis: Still mourning the death of Li Mu Bai, Yu Shu Lien returns to safeguard his sword, the Green Destiny. Hades Dai, an underground warlord, sends his lieutenants to steal the sword , with plans to dominate the martial world. A young mysterious swords-woman and the hero with a past, Silent Wolf , comes to Shu Lien's aid, together with a disparate band of warriors who still believe in the iron way of honor. Verdict: Watchable but poor sequel to the original, Westernised for Netflix it lacks majesty, heart and emotion of the original although its better than its RT score.

Crossing Point (2016) Shawn Lock, Paulina Gaitan, Tom Sizemore, Jacob Vargas, Maria Gabriela de Faria, Burton Perez & Luke Goss Directed by: Daniel Zirilli Platform: Netflix IMDB: 5.1/10 Synopsis: A young American couple in love, Michael (Shawn Lock) and Olivia (María Gabriela de Faría) vacation in Baja, but things take a frightening turn when Olivia is kidnapped by a drug dealer, who demands that Michael smuggle a backpack full of cocaine-stolen from a rival cartel-over the border into the U.S. within twelve hours or else Olivia will be killed. A Tijuana Cop is on the trail, as Michael navigates the treacherous underworld of Mexico, and he himself becomes a force to be reckoned with... Verdict: Watchable B movie actioner.

Creep 2 (2017) Mark Duplass, Desiree Akhavan, Karan Soni Directed by: Patrick Brice (Creep) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 6.4/10, RT: 100% Fresh Synopsis: A video artist looking for work drives to a remote house in the forest to meet a man claiming to be a serial killer. But after agreeing to spend the day with him, she soon realizes that she made a deadly mistake. Verdict: Superior to the first movie in every way, however may not be for everyone, its single camera POV.

Creed 2 (2018) Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, Phylicia Rashad, Florian Munteanu, Dolph Lundgren & Brigette Nielsen Directed by: Steven Caple Jr. Platform: Netflix IMDB: 7.2/10, RT: 84% Fresh Synopsis: Under the tutelage of Rocky Balboa, newly crowned heavyweight champion Adonis Creed faces off against Viktor Drago, the son of Ivan Drago. Verdict: Entertaining popcorn flick, I'm a sucker for the Rocky franchise and I really like the chemistry between Jordan and Stallone. It even pulled at the heart strings at the end.

Creature (1985) Also called "Titan Find" Stan Ivar, Wendy Schaal, Lyman Ward, Klaus Kinski Directed by: William Malone (House on Haunted Hill) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 4.3/10 Synopsis: An expedition to Titan uncovers an alien being, that goes on a rampage. Verdict: It hits all the same beats as Alien, even the set design looks the same, may as well call it an Alien ripoff, however its not the worst B movie i've ever seen.

Crazy Rich Asians (2018) Based upon the novel "Crazy Rich Asians" (2013) by Kevin Kwan Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan, Ken Jeong Directed by: John M. Chu (G.I.Joe: Retaliation, Now You See Me 2) Platform: NowTV IMDB: 6.9/10, RT: 91% Fresh Synopsis: This contemporary romantic comedy, based on a global bestseller, follows native New Yorker Rachel Chu to Singapore to meet her boyfriend's family. Verdict: I don't normally do rom coms but I remember Gene talking about it, its mushy in places, utterly predictable but it moves at a pace and its fun. It also has Gemma Chan

Crack in the World (1965) Dana Andrews, Janette Scott, Kieron Moore, Alexander Knox Directed by: Andrew Martin (King Solomons Mines, The Longest Day) Platform: Netflix IMDB: 6/10 Synopsis: A dying scientist pushes forward his project to tap through to the Earth's magma layer, with results that threaten to destroy the Earth as we know it. Verdict: Watchable 60s Sci-fi drama showing the warnings of men in white coats fracking around with the planet.

Crazy Heart (2009) Based upon the novel "Crazy Heart" (1987) by Thomas Cobb Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell Directed by: Scott Cooper Platform: NowTV IMDB: 7.2/10, RT: 90% Fresh Jeff Bridges won an Oscar for best actor Synopsis: A faded country music musician is forced to reassess his dysfunctional life during a doomed romance that also inspires him. Verdict: Enjoyable for Bridges performance but a story that follows familiar beats.

Corbin Nash (2018) Corey Feldman, Malcom McDowell, Rutger Hauer, Bruce Davison, Dean Jagger, Richard Wagner, Fernanda Romero Written & Directed by: Ben Jagger Platform: NowTV IMDB: 5.2/10 Synopsis: A rogue police detective in search of his parents' killer is murdered and reborn the ultimate killer. Verdict: A Vampire B-movie, actually the acting is ok and the story is nothing new, the story time jumps which isn't always clear and the budget for locations must have been $10 as all you see is Apartment, Warehouse, Corridor, Alleyway, Stripclub. I didn't even know Feldman was in it until the credits rolled and he was a main character! He plays a Transgender Vampire which is why I didn't recognise him!

Coraline (2009) Animated Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, John Hodgman, Jennifer Saunders, Dawn French, Keith David, Robert J Bailey & Ian McShane Written & Directed: Henry Selick Platform: NowTV IMDB: 7.7/10, RT: 90% Fresh Synopsis: An adventurous 11-year-old girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets. Verdict: Definitely not for all ages of Children, being a big fan of Nightmare Before Xmas I really enjoyed this.

Contraband (2012) Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster, Caleb Landry Jones Directed by: Baltasar Kormukar (2 Guns, Everest) Platform: NowTV IMDB: 6.5/10, 51% Rotten Synopsis: To protect his brother-in-law from a drug lord, a former smuggler heads to Panama to score millions of dollars in counterfeit bills. Verdict: Not a bad action thriller, typical Wahlberg movie but it held my attention.

Cop Out (2010) Bruce Willis, Tracey Morgan, Cory Fernandez, Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jason Lee, Rashida Jones & Seann William Scott Directed by: Kevin Smith Platform: Netflix IMDB: 5.6/10, RT: 18% Rotten Synopsis: Jimmy's rare baseball card is robbed. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his cop partner Paul to track down the robber, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster. Verdict: Another buddy cop movie, Tracey Morgan spent 20 minutes shouting his lines at the camera and thats all I lasted.

The Colony (2013) Laurence Fisburne, Bill Paxton, Kevin Zegers, Charlotte Sullivan Directed by: Jeff Renfroe Platform: Recorded from SyFy IMDB: 5.3/10, RT: 16% Rotten Synopsis: Forced underground by the next ice age, a struggling outpost of survivors must fight to preserve humanity against a threat even more savage than nature. Verdict: Not a bad SyFy movie, decent acting but predictable story, it passed the time.