What do I collect... geez... what don't I collect...

[*] Piers Anthony (everything he has ever written, including his porn book. A lot of his fantasy is [!@#%^&^], but Bio Of A Space Tyrant changed my life)

 

Love his incarnatons of Imortality series and his Xanth series...

 

He wrote Porn?

Yep... just to see if he could... just like he wrote one horror book called "Firefly"... which I thought was better that most of his fantasy...

The porn book is called, of all things, "Pornucopia"... For a long time, you could only get it off his 1-800 number and even then, only if you faxed a copy of your driver's license. It was out of print for over a decade but is in print now from what I understand.

You'll never look at an ice cream sundae the same way again...

What do I collect... geez... what don't I collect...

[*] Lighthouses (specifically the Spencer Collin ones, which are currently plummetting in value. I am picking up pieces for $15 that used to cost me $140 and I am not the least bit bothered by it. Have around 60 of them.)

[*] Pewter figurines of wizards (around 80 of them)

[*] Magic: The Gathering cards (I have sold off my collection several times, including the sale that funded my first store. I let four complete sets of Power 9 and over 800 Dual Lands go in that sale. But I still have several binders of stuff.)

[*] Sports Cards, mostly hockey (probably 125,000 cards total, plus a couple sealed wax cases and vending cases of OPC)

[*] Ramon Martinez baseball cards (for some unknown reason in college he became my 2nd favorite player behind Nolan Ryan, and I have pretty much every card he was ever on. Watched his brother Pedro pitch in the minors several times and frankly didn't think he was that good... )

[*] First edition novels (mostly Asimov and Ian Fleming, but I would like to add more Hemingway and Heinlein to my collection)

[*] Piers Anthony (everything he has ever written, including his porn book. A lot of his fantasy is [!@#%^&^], but Bio Of A Space Tyrant changed my life)

[*] Porn (yeah, I think I might have mentioned this before)

[*] Misty Mundae DVDs (almost counts as porn but she's going more regular B-movie at this point)

[*] Wine (just donated a few cases to a charity auction, but still have too many bottles)

[*] Programs (but only if I attended the event. Still have five from the night of Andy Moog's 300th win)

[*] Every ticket stub from every concert I have attended

[*] I have around 800 CDs, but the only ones I would count as a collection are the Chris LeDoux, most of which are OOP

[*] Spouse Points (my most important collection of all. The number I have is always changing, but I always make sure I have at least some... I better...)

I'm sure there are more things I collect. But if I don't go sell some comics now I won't be able to collect anything...

Hey! I'm in a story! And apparently have been for quite a while.....I need to come in here more often. And my names....Ape?! I guess it's better than Matter-Eater Lad.

 

Thanks Joanna! This thing is hilarious.

You've got a lot of catching up to do.

Look for the TPB version of Crisis in another thread. Much easier to read without all the incessant "Oh Joanna I love you! You're the greatest writer in history!" replies... I swear, JC needs to calm down...

Just kidding, Joanna... You know we love you, right?

Some recent Kudos:

[*]MajorKhaos - The biggest BSD of them all...[*]Joe_Collector - Definitely the nicest guy on the forum...[*]Lantern - Buys so much stuff he has to make up fake relatives to ship them to...[*]BronzeBruce13 - Deep down prefers the books from WWII, but GoldenBruce doesn't have the same ring...[*]tilleycs - Can rearrange his handle to "sell city" and buys like he's stocking his fallout shelter...[*]dam60 - He's alright... I guess... Too nice for my tastes...[*]pmpknface - I'll forgive his choice of friends... (c'mon gman, you know I love you!)[*]FlyingDonut - He introduced me to CGC...[*]DarthDiesel - Like any good Catholic School graduate, he believes in an-eye-for-an-eye... Danger Girl anyone?...[*]wasonff - If patience is a virtue, he's a saint...[*]Cicamen - Paid faster than the guys waiting for a lap dance from the Goth Princess...[*]Joanna - Here's hoping she doesn't realize she could charge $20 a piece to read the final installment of Crisis...[*]Bobpfef - It's not his fault Mike Belotti doesn't know how to use timeouts in a bowl game...[*]TheWatcher - Closing in on "Silver" status as a Lighthouse customer...[*]Oldguy - Spreading the love to the next generation... Grrr...[*]Shadroch - At this rate he could open his own store soon...[*]Aces - That's 150 Honors if you play in no-trump...[*]sborock - A pleasure to deal with, even though he never checks his voicemail at work...

And two belated Kudos, both from the summer of 1999:

[*]fantastic_four - Lightning fast payment and I suspect he may know something about comics. I'll have to keep an eye out for him in the next few years...

[*]blazingbob - He seems to know what he's doing. I think his business might catch on...

I have it on very good authority that we will have another chapter by Friday...

The rumours are true. You are Joanna's "dumber" shill!

 

Woman, thy name is fickle.

 

I can't like more than one person? Fine. I've stopped liking now. No more liking. It just causes heartache and pain. Of course, this means Rerun gets no support from me (and he's going through a traumatic TV-free time right now) but I'm through with liking. From now on, I'm modeling my posting style after hammer. I will simply offer large sums of money for the joy of removing eyeballs and such. And then I will restore said eyeballs with a quick trim and color touch -- don't it make your brown eyes blue?

 

-- Joanna

 

P.S. Pov, I still like you.

P.P.S. D'oh!

 

 

Rats - I have erred...I MEANT to say "Fickle, thy name is woman."

Rookie!

 

Rats again! And I studied Khaos' style SO closely, too,

 

I hope Joanna realizes the highjacking will continue until the next installment appears. Hungry for installments we are!

I have it on very good authority that we will have another chapter by Friday...

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

 

Oh, that brought back some memories...

 

'House, you know some interesing women.

... Well that goes without saying...

But I heard that exact expression used several times growing up, when a boy would say something nice to a girl, and she'd get that momentary glow that girls get... which was the signal that her defenses were down and it was time to steal a kiss... I was about 10 years old when a buddy of mine first made his move on the girl across the street... We were silently cheering him on from up in the elm tree where she couldn't see us...

Ah... memories...

Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her, you wuss! Now, while she's unarmed!

Oh, that brought back some memories...

Woo-Hoo... Hot Fudge Sundaes all around!

We'll just need a sign that says "Please Do Not Step On The MajorKhaos" for after Logan has his...

What's up w/ you today, House? Stirrin' things up all over the boards!

I took the day off to prepare for the "whatever fell off the back of the truck" sale tomorrow... Now if I can just find where I put my gilly suit...

To be continued

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ...

Sorry... sometimes the 5-year-old inside me takes over...

See if you can get him to send me mine.

Why I oughta... oh... wait... I guess this box I have been using as a footstool does have your name on it... oops... my bad...

KUDOS TO 'HOUSE... that magnificent basterd! He got my books here lickety-split! Now I almost feel bad for sending him that "prize"...

Well the prize must still be on the way... but I did receive your payment today. Hopefully my bank won't have a problem cashing a check that's written in yellow crayon and smells like paste. If they do, I can always add your check to my KostumeKween shrine...

And Kudos to Joanna, not just for her fine work on Crisis, but for a lightning fast payment as well!

So I am sitting there in the shop, waiting for the weekly shipment to be delivered, and I decide to reread the entire Crisis story from the beginning...

My UPS man showed up a little early, so I only made it partway through Issue 10 before I had to get back to work (which as near as I can tell is about 1/3 of the way through the story), but this classic line uttered by bronzebruce made me laugh hard enough to scare away a customer...

"We're CGC forum members. Men of action. Perfect physical specimens with classic good looks, moral fibre that knows right from wrong, and a selfless will to save others. It should get us some chicks, too."

This story is just getting better with age...

BTW....what happens if we don't pay by the 27th?

I give the Goth Princess the master security codes for your building's alarm system and a shopping list of sweet, sweet DC's... Quit trashing the Kudos thread!!!!

And because it's easier to do this all at once........

oldguy, The_Watcher, sckao, bobpfef, joe_collector, realitytrip, darthdiesel, lantern, bonds25, MajorKhaos, WernerVonDoom, BronzeBruce13, hobbes, shadroch, sborock, wormboy, valiantman, gman, FLComicFan, FlyingDonut, savagetales, scarlet_spider, rickdogg, TheRocketeer, Minutekev, seank, archiefan, robreact, greggy, MikeS, jbud73, towards2112, aaron568, musicmeta, and HighVoltage...

I've got to be the first forumite ever to get money from JC, Khaos and gman all in the same MONTH... much less doing it in TWO DAYS!!!...

Oh yeah... thanks a lot for ruining my rep. ... I've worked hard to be known as the slowest shipper on the boards. All that work, down the drain...

Actually...you have the rep for the slowest to answer PMs!

Well as long as I am the slowest at something...

Kudos to Lighthouse for getting me his Spidey trades in time for Sunday's show!

Wow... less than 48 hrs from Oregon to Virginia at Christmas time...

I figured the earliest we could expect was tomorrow, and they probably wouldn't get there until Saturday. Good luck with those at the show.

Oh yeah... thanks a lot for ruining my rep. ... I've worked hard to be known as the slowest shipper on the boards. All that work, down the drain...

NO.

 

Joanna? Whack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. It's the only way he'll learn.

Greggy can play any game!

 

 

ARCH! HELP! I'm being sexually harassed!

 

Better than being sexually hisassed...

 

Oh man... that was bad... I must need sleep even more than I thought...

No.....you are back! Now....answer the mocking PM sent by me!

 

Just got back about 20 minutes ago. And if I answer your PM, I'll have to read the other 50 that are waiting for me too... I barely have enough energy to throw some more wood on the fire and make a feeble joke at Khaos' expense before I go collapse...

Get the girl scout to answer the PMs! She makes lots of sense!

Oh geez. I forgot I told her to post on here. I'll have to go read that in the morning... *shudder*

If you're not happy with the grade on the DC book, I guess you can just keep it. I didn't see the corner bend when I was first checking the corners at the show and had already paid for it at the guy's shop by the time I saw the bend. It's better than a bunch of 8.5's I have, but I understand if it's not good enough for greggy's collection...

But seriously... quit trashing Khaos' thread. This is really his only positive contribution to the boards (other than thirty-seven threads that have been deleted). We need to leave him something he can brag about...

NO.

 

Joanna? Whack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. It's the only way he'll learn.

Greggy can play any game!

 

 

ARCH! HELP! I'm being sexually harassed!

 

Better than being sexually hisassed...

 

Oh man... that was bad... I must need sleep even more than I thought...

No.....you are back! Now....answer the mocking PM sent by me!

Just got back about 20 minutes ago. And if I answer your PM, I'll have to read the other 50 that are waiting for me too... I barely have enough energy to throw some more wood on the fire and make a feeble joke at Khaos' expense before I go collapse...

NO.

 

Joanna? Whack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. It's the only way he'll learn.

Greggy can play any game!

 

 

ARCH! HELP! I'm being sexually harassed!

Better than being sexually hisassed...

Oh man... that was bad... I must need sleep even more than I thought...

BIG UPS to POV

My post office didn't bother to tell me they were holding a package for me, so I just now got my prize from Pov. I realize I started the whole "giving prizes for contests" thing here with the original Hammer roast, but I never gave anything as cool as Pov.

And I was pleased to see that the famous POV spelling is no hoax... Misspelled his own home city right on the address label. Next time I am in "San Francsico", I'll have to buy ya a beer!

or you have the sort of personality that sees no difference between reality and fiction,

 

Joanna, why don't you blow this "superiority complex" you have out your butt?

Oh, there's always room to upgrade...

Mad Props to BronzeBruce!!!

Received my 9.6 Hulk 197 in the mail from him this weekend, a gorgeous copy of a book that he needed for his own collection but parted with because he knew I wanted it more. You can't ask for better than that. And he only marked it up 1500%! Just kidding. I'd be surprised if he made a dime on the deal given the 150 PM's he had to send me because I never respond.

Thanks again, Bruce. You're one of the good guys!

Jeez... and no "pat on the back" for the fact that I searched for, tracked down, and obtained one of your "most wanted items" and coughed it up even though I need/want it myself... not to mention taking partial trade in new books for it that I can't read for 7 months.

dagnabbit... I'm keepin' my gems from now on... mutter**grumble**mutter

... I can't possibly begin to express the unparallelled joy that book will bring me, the rush of adrenaline, the fluttering heartbeat, the trembling hands, the uncontrollable twitching in my feet as they beg to be allowed to do the Snoopy Dance...

I can't possibly begin to express that because I don't have the book yet!

As for "keepin' your gems from now on," we both know that won't happen. You're too cool of a guy and you love playing Santa Claus too much.