Best Way to Smuggle Slabs Into the House...

[Count]

[MutantKeys]

I remember the owner of my LCS telling me a story about a comic collector and his wife. I guess his wife hated it because one day she got fed up and said... Its either me or the comics. He choose the comics

[shiverbones]

This thread makes my head hurt.....

[OldGuy]

Any suggestions???

get a new wife?

 

Repeating the same action expecting a different result?

[underthebigw]

Okay,

 

So I have my own separate mailing address...so I can retrieve my packages unanounced, but now that I have them and past the wife...how do I get them into the house...

 

The "oh, I have been waiting for the package for several weeks" is no longer working and hidding slabs under jacket is not fooling the wife anymore, especially after I have dropped 20 lbs...

 

With more things on the way in the near future, I need some help from fellow boardies...have even taken packages around back to basement door and retrieved them later...of course, doesn't work well when there is bad weather....also tried "have to get something out of the car" trick late at night...

 

Wife kind of understands, but not really....

 

Any suggestions???

 

Easy solution......Start up a comic-related business that consumes even more time, money, and space than collecting. Then the actual books won't make the radar anymore.

 

Seriously, I've got to agree with everyone else on the boards. There's something else going on here. I never even dated anyone who had no respect for my hobby.

 

Either your wife can't stand your hobby because she is callous or po'd at you about other things, or you're spending too much. In the former situation--get a spine and bring your books through the front door. In the latter, stop spending so much money.

 

That said, after having done shows for the last two years, I am absolutely AMAZED at the number of women who try to micro-manage their husbands' and boyfriends' spending habits. Typical scenario: husband gets excited about buying a 'Toon TumblerR, wife scowls behind his back, then walks ahead, where she suddenly sees something thrilling "Honey, LOOK at THIS...". Then there's the common and straight-forward pushing technique where they don't even let them stop at the booth. I thought I was just being a bitter small-business owner imagining this behavior, but my sister, who has helped me at NYCC the past two years, was absolutely dumbfounded by the behavior of the wifes and girlfriends. A lot of guys are absolutely pathetic about this issue.

 

 

 

 

[Annihilus]

You'll be surprised that a lot of couples actually do pretty well on separate accounts. Not only that, there are usually far less stress involved without a watchdog hounding behind every transaction made. Don't forget with a joint account, the money is no longer yours....it becomes "OURS" and that generates far more arguments then what it's worth.

 

Definately.

 

Couples having separate finances is not something doomed to failure, just like people with pooled finances aren't guaranteed to succeed. Just like couples who pool everything together, success of people with separate finances depends upon the dedication of the participants to not spend beyond their means.

 

It works for us

[bhhooks22]

Any suggestions???

 

I have a few, but none fit for the forums.

..........Bh....

[cd4ever]

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore Jack

I went out for a ride and I never went back.

[Escaflown4]

Okay,

 

So I have my own separate mailing address...so I can retrieve my packages unanounced, but now that I have them and past the wife...how do I get them into the house...

 

The "oh, I have been waiting for the package for several weeks" is no longer working and hidding slabs under jacket is not fooling the wife anymore, especially after I have dropped 20 lbs...

 

With more things on the way in the near future, I need some help from fellow boardies...have even taken packages around back to basement door and retrieved them later...of course, doesn't work well when there is bad weather....also tried "have to get something out of the car" trick late at night...

 

Wife kind of understands, but not really....

 

Any suggestions???

 

Easy solution......Start up a comic-related business that consumes even more time, money, and space than collecting. Then the actual books won't make the radar anymore.

 

Seriously, I've got to agree with everyone else on the boards. There's something else going on here. I never even dated anyone who had no respect for my hobby.

 

Either your wife can't stand your hobby because she is callous or po'd at you about other things, or you're spending too much. In the former situation--get a spine and bring your books through the front door. In the latter, stop spending so much money.

 

That said, after having done shows for the last two years, I am absolutely AMAZED at the number of women who try to micro-manage their husbands' and boyfriends' spending habits. Typical scenario: husband gets excited about buying a 'Toon TumblerR, wife scowls behind his back, then walks ahead, where she suddenly sees something thrilling "Honey, LOOK at THIS...". Then there's the common and straight-forward pushing technique where they don't even let them stop at the booth. I thought I was just being a bitter small-business owner imagining this behavior, but my sister, who has helped me at NYCC the past two years, was absolutely dumbfounded by the behavior of the wifes and girlfriends. A lot of guys are absolutely pathetic about this issue.

 

 

 

 

Exactly, guys need to stand strong and put their foot down. Unless the hobby is taking over all your time and financial resources, the spouse has no right to interfere. They need to respect your hobby and vice versa. If you let your girlfriends and wives to keep dictating your life and your hobbies, then it becomes a marital problem which will only get worse as it goes on. Again to put this bluntly as to avoid confusion. Your spouse should only speak up about your hobby if she sees that you're spending all your time and money on it to the point that bill payments are behind and you're in a credit hole. Now, if she comes up to you and presents an ultimatum saying it's her or the comics simply because she thinks it's childish and abhors it, then OUT THE DOOR she goes!

 

[bronzilla]

I am guessing EARTHBORNPIGS Post is mostly in jest. But I wish to chime in with all who mentioned his and her "allowances"

My wife is in control ao all our personal finances which leaves my mind to concentrate on our Family buisness.

My wife does a magnificent job!

We both Spend What we want within reason and we both respect that that we are making good judgements in what we buy and how much. With my wife ,it is clothes and shoes, with me it is obviously comics. Yes sometimes I go over budget, but she knows when that happens I will either sell something to make it up or I control my spending the folowing week.

My wife doesnt really understand the hobby but she respects my feelings and she loves to see the joy I get Out of My Hobby. I dont get the whole SHOE thing, But man I LOVE TO SEE HER HAPPY!!!!

It is all about respect and each spouse having an allowance agreed on between both parties.

[Escaflown4]

You'll be surprised that a lot of couples actually do pretty well on separate accounts. Not only that, there are usually far less stress involved without a watchdog hounding behind every transaction made. Don't forget with a joint account, the money is no longer yours....it becomes "OURS" and that generates far more arguments then what it's worth.

 

Definately.

 

Couples having separate finances is not something doomed to failure, just like people with pooled finances aren't guaranteed to succeed. Just like couples who pool everything together, success of people with separate finances depends upon the dedication of the participants to not spend beyond their means.

 

It works for us

 

Yep it's also working for me and my fiance and we're planning to keep it that way even after we get married this summer. In the mean time, I might just explore another option that my co-worker came up with. He and his wife almost had their relationship torn apart arguing about spending on their joint account. So what they did was they both started their own separate accounts and kept a joint account for emergency funding for rainy days. So each month they would both contribute a bit to the joint account and put the rest into their separate accounts. I might adopt that format as well.

[joe_collector]

This sounds more like a stereotypical phrase. What you say is only true for a couple that cannot control their spending urges.

 

Which is about 95% of North Americans.

 

My wife was watching a show in this, and I caught a bit of it. Couples who pool their money, and have two sets of eyes perusing the books save a higher percentage of their incomes, invest more, and are better prepared for the future.

 

It's only logical.

 

Where it's really bad is in 2nd, 3rd, etc. marriages, where one or both spouses have serious trust issues and play the "get your hands off MY money" games. I can't remember the stats, but a large percentage of failed marriages cite money as a major issue, so in the next marriage, they don't pool anything and can be very secretive about where it's going.

 

Everyone's free to do what he or she wants, but my personal opinion is that we're a team, working towards a common goal and planning on retiring together, and not simply roommates sharing expenses.

 

I do understand if your wife/husband is a sociopath with serious issues who you can't trust with a joint account, but you're screwed anyway at that point.

[bhhooks22]

Jimbo............Just tell her that it is the "WILL OF GOD" , ..............as was the Lobotomy ! ...........Bh... ;)..

Fun thread to read --- though I suspect most of us married collectors have wrestled with this kind of thing before. I had a wake-up call from the missus about 2 yrs ago, when I realized that she would never really understand my spending more than $50 on a funny book. She began to resent the steady influx of those packages in the mail, and she (understandably) became upset at how much of our money I spent on the hobby.

 

Our solution? I no longer spend "our" money. We opened a new bank account just for me with it's own debit card and linked my PayPal acct to it. I now spend only "my" money on comics. We came up with a monthly allowance for me, which transfers into this acct automatically. I use this at the LCS, on eBay, for my mail order subs, etc --- if I want to spend more, I fund my purchase with a little eBay selling.

 

The idea of a full-grown man on an allowance may sound to some like I am whipped. But, this was all MY idea. It's not oppressive at all. In fact, just the opposite: it is totally liberating. No guilt, no anxiety. She no longer eyes those incoming Priority boxes with worry, and we no longer fret about money.

 

Anyone else doing something similar? If your hobby spending is creating ANY tension, you need to watch out. Putting your marriage/family at risk is just absurd. Swallow your pride and give yourself an "allowance" like I did. My wife was so happy with the arrangement that I now get sweet LCS gift certificates from her at birthdays and Xmas.

 

My girl gets an allowance about the size of mine,although I was a little sneaky about it .I took out a fairly large loan against my 401k and the amount of my weekly payroll deduction is the size of her allowance.I use the loan money to fund purchases.I have had to occasionally spend comic $$ on the emergencies that pop up from time to time.I also sell the occasional book that I list at exhorbitant prices.By the time the market reaches my price,I've usually had the book for a couple of years and am ready to upgrade or my tastes have changed.She's OK with it as she also likes comics(worked in a St.Louis store for 5 years in th early 80's.).She likes Ditko Dr.Strange,Conan,Swamp Thing ,TOD,WBN,and Silver Surfer.GOD BLESS...

 

-jimbo(a friend of jesus) (thumbs u

 

p.s.As most of you know,the comics quite often out perform the 401k.

[Annihilus]

This sounds more like a stereotypical phrase. What you say is only true for a couple that cannot control their spending urges.

 

Which is about 95% of North Americans.

 

My wife was watching a show in this, and I caught a bit of it. Couples who pool their money, and have two sets of eyes perusing the books save a higher percentage of their incomes, invest more, and are better prepared for the future.

 

It's only logical.

 

Where it's really bad is in 2nd, 3rd, etc. marriages, where one or both spouses have serious trust issues and play the "get your hands off MY money" games. I can't remember the stats, but a large percentage of failed marriages cite money as a major issue, so in the next marriage, they don't pool anything and can be very secretive about where it's going.

 

Everyone's free to do what he or she wants, but my personal opinion is that we're a team, working towards a common goal and planning on retiring together, and not simply roommates sharing expenses.

 

That's a very good point, and the key to making separate finances work is that everything is out in the open. If you have everything separate and still feel the need to hide your spending, you're probably not on the right path to financial well-being.

 

It works very well for us, but it definately isn't for everyone.

[VintageComics]

I agree in that if collecting comics bothers her that much you need serious counciling for what's really bothering her.

 

We've only heard one side of the story here. The wife could have a very good reason to be mad...

 

Jim

 

Jim I think you hit the nail on the head.

 

Women get angry and are usually in the right based on the information they perceive. Something is giving them the perception that the comics are interfereing on the relationship. Because women are (as a rule of thumb) wired to be emotionally attached to a relationship while men are physical (not a stereo type or a negative thing...it's what makes couples tick)...the guy might think "I'll spend $100 on her and then I can spend $100 on a comics" or whatever. That is not always the case.

Women need to feel secure in a relationship and then anything goes.

 

My first wife was extrememly jealous. She also did not understand but rather tolerated my collection. She was black and white about everything and very perceptive. She didn't want any money even after we separated. She wanted to feel secure in the relationship. Me being the outgoing, fly by the seat of my pants arse did nothing for her self esteem. Don't get me wrong...I never cheated on her even in my mind, never starved her for money etc. Even though I tried with all my might I could not make her feel secure. She needed something I could not provide. That was not the comic's fault. It was a personality or language gap between us that exists to this day. I've known her for 20 years and we started out as being best friends before we got married.

 

My girfriend now? I can comment on (or even flirt) with other girls as a joke, spend as much as I want on comics, go to a con every weekend if I want (she'll gladly come along and amuse herself). She thrives off my passion, my carefree (ie careless) choices, and my aimless sense of having a good time.

 

The problem is not comics. It's compatibility. Learn to speak her language, teach her yours and most things should fall into place.

 

Oh yeah, and if she calls you 10 times a day while you're at a con (ahem...MK...ahem)) keep the phone off.

 

[MutantKeys]

 

Oh yeah, and if she calls you 10 times a day while you're at a con (ahem...MK...ahem)) keep the phone off.

 

Remind me this year

[VintageComics]

 

Oh yeah, and if she calls you 10 times a day while you're at a con (ahem...MK...ahem)) keep the phone off.

 

Remind me this year

 

 

Just buggin ya. I only heard her call once.

 

 

Think she'd enjoy coming along?

[bhhooks22]

You are correct!.

BTW ,....Yesterday , ironically , when this thread was getting going ,I was at a luncheon for men. (last of a 3 week series). on "How to be a better husband"..(guess who gave me the free tickets ? .....

Anyway , #1 - Women need :security, love (to feel cherished) , comforting , communication , trust

Men #1 - respect (way over being loved) and honor among fellow men , and sex is before respect 50% of the time.

 

Anyway , I was going to tie all that in to everything , but I'll let someone else. I'm tired of typing and I was supposed to bring my wife and her estate sale worker's lunch over 30 min. ago !

 

...If she knew I was late b/c I was messing w/ comic book stuff!........... :o......BH...

[MutantKeys]

 

Oh yeah, and if she calls you 10 times a day while you're at a con (ahem...MK...ahem)) keep the phone off.

 

Remind me this year

 

 

Just buggin ya. I only heard her call once.

 

 

Think she'd enjoy coming along?

She has asked me about 10-20 times.... No way in hell I am letting her come

[Fan4Fan]

sex is before respect 50% of the time.

 

Only 50%?