So I just start up collecting again and...

[TonyStarkFan]

my wife and I had a life altering event take place which I can now speak about. We have been married for almost two years now and both of us are in our late 30's. We have been trying since our wedding night to conceive, but have not had any luck.

 

We both have had numerous tests in order to find out if we can even have children. I was extremely ill a few years back and it adversely effected my health to the point where a few physicians thought I could not father children. Luckily we have been blessed and my wife is now pregnant and is about the enter the second trimester of her pregnancy.

 

We have steadily been paying our deductibles for her exams and were told recently by her doctor that there will be extra tests because of her age. I have been reading up on the tests and believe that it is right that they are administered.

 

We have one income, mine, and I have decided to cut back on a few things, one of them collecting comics. I only started collecting again about 6 weeks ago and have to give up the hobby for a while. But it is very much worth it.

 

So now we have a long six months ahead of us. I have been reading up on the changes that are coming and how it will also change our lives. I am a little nervous but excited at the same time. Any words of advice from the fathers out there?

[batman_fan]

Congrats man! Fatherhood is the best thing you will ever experience. My son was born the same time I finished my Batman run and you know what. The completing the Batman run was in the noise when compared to becoming a father.

[NowhereMan]

I can give you some advice, but I'm at a completely different point in my life. I'm 21 years old, married, and have a 7 month old daughter. Some may say I did things too early in life, but the way I see it, I'm about to get my masters degree after taking 22-24 hour semesters in college for several years, and I'm already fairly financially secure.

 

The absolute best advice I can give you:

 

Do not let one moment pass where you take being a father for granted.

 

Read it again, because it's the hardest thing about being a parent. My daughter is only 7 months old and it's already sad knowing she won't be that little newborn I held ever again. Cherish each and every moment. You'll learn how to do all the hard things and messy things over time - don't worry too much about that stuff or figuring out how to do everything right in the beginning. Simply enjoy being a father, spending time with your child, and creating memories that you will be able to remember happily for the rest of your life.

 

 

Good luck with the rest of your wife's pregnancy and with parenthood!

[Park]

Congrats.

 

Only advice is to enjoy it all. It is the best thing in the world. Comic books aren't going anywhere. They will still be here when you are ready again.

[mister_not_so_nice]

Any words of advice from the fathers out there?

 

Never had any babies myself(or with the help of another(Just beating everyone else to the punchline)), so no real advice.

 

Just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS.

 

PM me your addy and I'll get some reading materials sent off until you can begin collecting again(I still owe you!)

 

Mike

 

[mikenyc]

First off, congratulations

 

I'm sure the struggles your wife and yourself have endured over these few years have really strengthened your relationship. That is what matters most.

 

So many couples become baby obsessed that they forget about each other. Every test will be upsetting waiting for results and building false scenarios of what could be wrong in your mind, but it will work out.

 

Remember why you are choosing to bring this little person into this world. Never focus on the negatives and try to enjoy each and every day. Every test and every sonogram and every dr. visit that goes well will build confidence in the process.

 

I have to admit that I am not a religious guy. I question my faith and have for many years, but.....no lightning bolt yet please.........after the birth of my baby girl I believe in something. Maybe it's my parents God, or your God or mother earth, father time, and the Easter bunny all rolled up, but dammit I believe.

 

There is nothing that brings me more pleasure than to hold her in my arms and thank someone somewhere for putting her there! McKenna is already 18 months old and it feels like she was born yesterday. Try to push the slow-mo button and enjoy every little second.

 

Sorry about the sappy post, but I she does it to me .

[nwpassage]

I'm good to go for a donation of reading material also if you p.m. me your address. Just be there for your wife and kid, till death do you part, and you'll be golden.

[Subliminal]

You are a lucky man. As tough as the road you have travelled has been you have been more blessed than me.

You should post your collecting wish list here to keep that collecting spirit alive and start building the library to pass on to the firstborn.

Comics from my Mom and Dad are some of my first memories. (thumbs u

[500Club]

The absolute best advice I can give you:

 

Do not let one moment pass where you take being a father for granted.

 

Read it again, because it's the hardest thing about being a parent. My daughter is only 7 months old and it's already sad knowing she won't be that little newborn I held ever again. Cherish each and every moment. You'll learn how to do all the hard things and messy things over time - don't worry too much about that stuff or figuring out how to do everything right in the beginning. Simply enjoy being a father, spending time with your child, and creating memories that you will be able to remember happily for the rest of your life.

 

Good luck with the rest of your wife's pregnancy and with parenthood!

I'll second this. Our 8 month old is our fourth, and likely last. Time passes quickly.

[Scrooge]

Yeah, things will change but not nearly as much as you might fear. You will find that you are living under different time constraints as before but it's time you will find very easy to give up once you spend time with your child. What matters is that you become more sensitive to your wife's needs than you were before. The nature of the thing is that there will be a strong bond between her and the baby and she will be the primary care giver to the child during the first six-month to a year and that's an exacting job description. You might want to consider adopting a night a week, say Friday, when you are solely responsible for the baby from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. She will just appreciate it more than you can believe. If you have family and friends around ready and willing to help out as they can, accept their help! As for collecting, during the first few months, you can still read. Once they get mobile ... no so much so Finally, given you are in your late '30's and the birth is a few months away, you still have time to get in shape. Our child is full of energy and recharges her battery every time she sleeps and you'll need to be able to keep up.

 

Congrats to you and your wife!!

[ramrodcar]

Congrats man! The (small) sacrifice you make in holding off on collecting will be paltry in comparison to the joy of bringing new life into this world.

[500Club]

As for collecting, during the first few months, you can still read. Once they get mobile ... no so much so

 

Keep your books out of reach. My eldest only ever got at one of my books. Since then, nothing. However, in a cruel instance of Murphy's Law, the book was Birds of Prey 8.

[dupont2005]

 

[ashrael]

Fatherhood is terrific and your time will be limited anyway.

 

However, I started reading TPBs more than ever since I never knew if I would have 2 minutes or 15 minutes to read, and novels were too hard to catch up with.

 

Congrats!

[Reno McCoy]

Yeee haw. Another father. Be good to your wife during her pregnancy. She'll need you more than ever before, even if she doesn't say so. But honestly, being there for my wife during her pregnancy and the delivery was some of the best moments of my life. And my son...wow...he's the best thing that ever happened to us.

 

Congratulations, and good luck! Enjoy every moment of it, even the rough times. This is where your life really begins.

[Larryw7]

Great news!

[davidpg]

It's the greatest thing that could ever happen to you, don't worry. .

 

Very true that you might have less time to yourself, though you'll come to realize that you're not going to want time to yourself...you'll want to be with the kid.

 

This might not happen right away. You might feel overwhelmed for a couple of months, but it does smooth out. Expect to do more that your share, your fair share, or anything else. You'll have to do more than you'll probably think is fair and in the stress of it all, it could grate on your nerves a bit depending on your personality. You'll just have to live with it

 

Just last night, I sat down with my now 4 year old son and really looked through a bunch of golden and silver age books for the first time practicing his letters and numbers, and read through an old Dell Bugs Bunny book. Magical moment for me, and if he wasn't around, I couldn't have experienced it

 

He's my best friend, and the greatest human being on Earth for me. You should feel the same

 

Good luck, Happy Holidays and congrats!

[JuliusSeizure]

Fatherhood is awesome. I have two little kids I love to pieces. The best advice I can give you, that I don't think anyone else has said, is to remember that the stress and sleep deprivation you'll experience when your child is an infant will end. It can be very overwhelming dealing with a baby's needs, especially in the middle of the night, and it feels like it will go on forever. It doesn't. Things get easier, faster than you will think.

[the blob]

Don't be freaked out by the tests. Late 30's is hardly "old" for a mother. They semi-arbitrarily want to take these tests starting at 35, whereas most of the increased risk is more about mothers over 40. it's not like there's a significant increase from 34 to 36, but at 34 they don't ask for them. they need to have some sort of cut-off. If we have #2 (and we are taking no precautions to prevent that from happening other than being too exhausted most of the time to try) my wife will be in the same late 30's boat in the midst of it as well.

 

You're going to be tired the first 3-8 months. Babies wake up a lot. They cry. They need to be fed. They need to be burped. They vomit all over you. They need to have their diapers changed like 8-12 times a day. It gets messy. It's all going to be new to you, particularly if you didn't have younger siblings you took care of or don't have in-laws handy and sometimes even if you do (e.g., breast feeding -- neither of our mothers did, my wife is keenly aware of the health benefits of doing so, so she did --- both of our mothers were useless for advice). Presumably if your wife isn't working (and you are) this shouldn't be a straight up 50/50 exercise (you are, afterall, the one who has to get to work at 8:30), but don't dump it all on her (nor do I suspect you want to).

 

Life saver: We got or were given (I forget) a swing. It was electric, had some soothing lights, music, a mobile, etc. I think most of them say the baby needs to be one month or so, but if your child comes out looking 3 months old like my son did (and with a neck that did not need any support), you could do it a little earlier. My son loved it, it put him to sleep, etc. While this shouldn't be used to replace holding, etc., sometimes you need to put the baby down and he/she may not want to lie down. My son also did a fair amount of sleeping in his car seat while at home.

 

We did not get one, but these car seats that transform into pseudo-strollers are pretty nifty for suburbanites. We didn't bother with that as we were in the city and did very little driving with him, but a lot of stroller pushing. If you are in an area where y'all will be doing a lot of stroller pushing, don't cheap out on one. Get a good one that is easy to push, is balanced enough you can hang bags off it, etc.

[Jeffro.]

Be good to your wife during her pregnancy. She'll need you more than ever before, even if she doesn't say so. But honestly, being there for my wife during her pregnancy and the delivery was some of the best moments of my life.

 

Can't really add anything to that.