What do you tell your girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/live-in parole officer?

[Dale Roberts]

I cannot help but feed my addiction to buying books in the marketplace. It's my vice and there's no stopping it. Therefore, every 5 days or so I receive a package in the mail, usually a Priority mailing box about the size and weight of a CGCed comic, and my girlfriend asks me what it is. I have told her that I will stop buying comics for a while so we can properly save our money for a wedding, nicer apartment, burlap sacks for clothing, etc. Clearly I haven't stopped. What should I start telling her is in those boxes? I know I'm not the only one here with this problem.

 

I'm going to level with the board here. I don't actually hide my purchases from my girlfriend nor does she give me a hard time about them. The relationship I'm in now is rock solid and none of what has been inferred by others on this thread from my OP even closely relates to my relationship. My original post was really a goofy way of saying that I buy way too many books and need to curtail the habit. So, while I appreciate all the relationship advice, such as having to "grow up," I think the interpretation has gone a little off-track. I would hope that if and when I am confronted with a real problem with the woman that I don't go to a comic book message board seeking solutions.

 

maybe I am just confused

[Ryan.]

I cannot help but feed my addiction to buying books in the marketplace. It's my vice and there's no stopping it. Therefore, every 5 days or so I receive a package in the mail, usually a Priority mailing box about the size and weight of a CGCed comic, and my girlfriend asks me what it is. I have told her that I will stop buying comics for a while so we can properly save our money for a wedding, nicer apartment, burlap sacks for clothing, etc. Clearly I haven't stopped. What should I start telling her is in those boxes? I know I'm not the only one here with this problem.

 

I'm going to level with the board here. I don't actually hide my purchases from my girlfriend nor does she give me a hard time about them. The relationship I'm in now is rock solid and none of what has been inferred by others on this thread from my OP even closely relates to my relationship. My original post was really a goofy way of saying that I buy way too many books and need to curtail the habit. So, while I appreciate all the relationship advice, such as having to "grow up," I think the interpretation has gone a little off-track. I would hope that if and when I am confronted with a real problem with the woman that I don't go to a comic book message board seeking solutions.

 

maybe I am just confused

 

Probably. In the first post I never actually say I've hidden anything. The tone of the post and the little ohnoez guy sort of suggest that nothing is meant to be taken super seriously.

[the blob]

At the risk of being a complete and utter downer, do you all realize that the original poster is trying to hide his purchases and that this is the sign of a very serious problem?

 

It is no different than hiding alcohol, cocaine, meth, or any other addictive substance. I recognize that a lot of this is meant in fun, but the effort to conceal these purchases is a big red flag.

All joking aside, make a sincere effort to stop buying for awhile. You have to determine what is really important to you. Right now, the knee-jerk reaction is comics. If you would prefer your comics over nicer housing, a nice wedding, a new car, paying utilities, or anything else, you have a serious problem. Put it all in perspective and try to get a little distance from buying for awhile. See if you feel better, if your significant other treats you differently, and if your bank account grows. As the pop psychiatry experts are so fond of saying, you feel a hole in your life or yourself and you're trying to fill it with comics. Try watching "Intervention" on A&E sometime and see if the addicts that they profile have anything in common with you. You might be surprised.

 

I know I was.

 

Now back to the fun...

 

Tell her it's interracial, homosexual midget clown porn and it's none of her darned business anyway.

 

You are correct, sir. I tend to justify my addiction by rationalizing thusly: "At least it's not crack or Doritos." Still a problem all the same.

 

I disagree...to an extent. He can be purchasing a "normal" quantity of comics, but the wife/GF may think this is an inappropriate expenditure if they are also saving for something else (wedding, child, etc.). It's a legit view and doesn't make him hiding the equivalent of a meth habit. Maybe it's just easier to avoid conflict and not have full disclosure.

 

I've certainly had arguments with my wife, particularly when we were cramped in a 1B apartment, less so now in a big house. But she sees me selling a fair amount, so she has backed off. Problem is, when I walk in with 50-75 moderns she knows I'm not selling that kind of quantity elsewhere.

[oakman29]

I cannot help but feed my addiction to buying books in the marketplace. It's my vice and there's no stopping it. Therefore, every 5 days or so I receive a package in the mail, usually a Priority mailing box about the size and weight of a CGCed comic, and my girlfriend asks me what it is. I have told her that I will stop buying comics for a while so we can properly save our money for a wedding, nicer apartment, burlap sacks for clothing, etc. Clearly I haven't stopped. What should I start telling her is in those boxes? I know I'm not the only one here with this problem.

 

I'm going to level with the board here. I don't actually hide my purchases from my girlfriend nor does she give me a hard time about them. The relationship I'm in now is rock solid and none of what has been inferred by others on this thread from my OP even closely relates to my relationship. My original post was really a goofy way of saying that I buy way too many books and need to curtail the habit. So, while I appreciate all the relationship advice, such as having to "grow up," I think the interpretation has gone a little off-track. I would hope that if and when I am confronted with a real problem with the woman that I don't go to a comic book message board seeking solutions.

 

maybe I am just confused

 

Why the hell did you bring this up in the first place then?

[Ryan.]

I cannot help but feed my addiction to buying books in the marketplace. It's my vice and there's no stopping it. Therefore, every 5 days or so I receive a package in the mail, usually a Priority mailing box about the size and weight of a CGCed comic, and my girlfriend asks me what it is. I have told her that I will stop buying comics for a while so we can properly save our money for a wedding, nicer apartment, burlap sacks for clothing, etc. Clearly I haven't stopped. What should I start telling her is in those boxes? I know I'm not the only one here with this problem.

 

I'm going to level with the board here. I don't actually hide my purchases from my girlfriend nor does she give me a hard time about them. The relationship I'm in now is rock solid and none of what has been inferred by others on this thread from my OP even closely relates to my relationship. My original post was really a goofy way of saying that I buy way too many books and need to curtail the habit. So, while I appreciate all the relationship advice, such as having to "grow up," I think the interpretation has gone a little off-track. I would hope that if and when I am confronted with a real problem with the woman that I don't go to a comic book message board seeking solutions.

 

maybe I am just confused

 

Why the hell did you bring this up in the first place then?

 

If I could go back in time I wouldn't have.

[davedawgbg]

First thing you don't want to lie to your girlfriend/ fiance,just tell her the truth.

Set the bar at the beginning of your relationship, otherwise she will keep taking without some giving.I involve my wife in my hobby,instead of alienating her away from it.My wife is actually a great grader,and when we go to cons she usually picks out books that are much nicer grades than I would have bought.Don't buy books at a fever pitch,because you have to give too! It works both ways,finding a happy medium is the key to a happy relationship.

 

+1. The current lady is very amicable to the collecting hobby and also enjoys the cons (earlier relationships, not so much ) . From the beginning she said "It's your money, you do what you want with it. As long as the power stays on and we're not getting an eviction notice enjoy yourself." We have the combined fund for bills/expenses/savings, the rest is is just play money for our personal vices.

 

It's the same for her when it comes to romance novels or medieval weaponry, as long as she has the money (and we have the space) she can bring home as much as she wants. The Kindle has helped immensely with the space-saving as far as the books are concerned, but no such luck with the rest.

 

Besides, if I did try to hide any aspect of the collecting and she found out she may decide to take the claymore down from the perch and use it on me

 

I wasn't expecting that combo...

Right! Women and Medieval weapons are a nasty combination,specially during certain times of the month.

 

I was as surprised as anyone. The romance novels are the "Revenge of the Nerds" equivalent to the statement regarding the only thing jocks think about and the only thing nerds think about, so that works out great.

 

I was a little leery of the affinity for weaponry (of any kind) but it just works out that the annual Scottish Games are her version of ComicCon where she walks around drooling over implements of destruction and corsets (thumbs u as opposed to the actual ComicCon when I wander around drooling over comics and OA.

 

I'm the comic book nerd, she's the regular book nerd

[the blob]

There's nothing wrong with the premise of your post. I posted or responded to something similar 4 or 5 years ago and the crowd here was joking about sneaking a box by their wife, etc. Now you're being judged for not (1) telling your wife/GF to STFU or (2) hiding your addiction. Fact is, you should be chastised for neither. Your post said you were getting a whopping 1 package every 5 days. That's nothing! As for the wife/GF, assuming you aren't spending like crazy, she probably doesn't have a leg to stand on because even if you're saving up, it's not like you're unemployed (I assume) living off an allowance from her, but some things just aren't worth fighting over. So, why bother waving th package in her face or telling her the great deal you got? As I see you have sold some on selling threads, if she's curious you can always remind her that you sell and buy and it's all a cycle. Marriage/love...sometimes you need to pick your fights. Not everything needs to be said. Just don't hide the BIG stuff. A $100 package every 5 days is not the big stuff assuming you can afford it.

 

Trolling the forums here is hardly bad for your health. Honestly, while nobody has the time, if you were able to snag 25-50% of the best deals being offered on these boards you could (1) have a pretty profitable comic business flipping stuff and (2) build a nice collection on the side.

[Ryan.]

There's nothing wrong with the premise of your post. I posted or responded to something similar 4 or 5 years ago and the crowd here was joking about sneaking a box by their wife, etc. Now you're being judged for not (1) telling your wife/GF to STFU or (2) hiding your addiction. Fact is, you should be chastised for neither. Your post said you were getting a whopping 1 package every 5 days. That's nothing! As for the wife/GF, assuming you aren't spending like crazy, she probably doesn't have a leg to stand on because even if you're saving up, it's not like you're unemployed (I assume) living off an allowance from her, but some things just aren't worth fighting over. So, why bother waving th package in her face or telling her the great deal you got? As I see you have sold some on selling threads, if she's curious you can always remind her that you sell and buy and it's all a cycle. Marriage/love...sometimes you need to pick your fights. Not everything needs to be said. Just don't hide the BIG stuff. A $100 package every 5 days is not the big stuff assuming you can afford it.

 

Trolling the forums here is hardly bad for your health. Honestly, while nobody has the time, if you were able to snag 25-50% of the best deals being offered on these boards you could (1) have a pretty profitable comic business flipping stuff and (2) build a nice collection on the side.

 

This last paragraph has much truth. The deals and hard-to-find items here are awesome. I enjoy seeing someone post a crazy expensive book too just to marvel at it. I'm one of those collectors that tends to spend a few months collecting specific things then get bored and sell a bunch of what I just bought to make room for new stuff, even if I end up selling the books at exactly what I paid for them. There is a thread in mixed items right now with about 10 pages worth of CGC SS books. It's taking much willpower to not toss all over that thread.

[conditionfreak]

The keyboard tough guys are the ones that are the most testicularly challenged in their real life. They are usually dominated by their wives and have nothing to say when their significant other is present. The ones doth protesting too much have been ball less for years.

Nobody is foolish enough to believe that your spouse or partner needs to understand and accept every facet of your being. A good relationship is not one where you force someone to allow you to spend hard earned money on comic books. A good relationship is one in which your partner acknowledges that they don't understand the behavior but cares enough about the fact that you do to let it go.

 

Do I announce everytime I buy something to my wife, no. Does she realize that my long boxes are having key parties and expanding the family, yes. But you know what, I never threaten our financial stability by spending or spend my time away from the family to enjoy my hobby. My wife is muy simpatico with my comics. She gets excited if I show her that I'm excited about a certain book, otherwise she pretends that her 31 year old husband doesn't sit and talk to othe adults about collecting funny books. ::

 

 

 

A thousand times this. I don't hound her about what she buys, she doesn't hound me about what I buy....and never the twain shall meet.

 

She even likes some of my horror comics and magazines. I got her a Ditko Carlton Monsters book for Christmas.

 

You have to set boundaries early on...or expect trouble. I speak from experience.

 

What do you base this accusation on? Gut feeling? Statistical information? Buds you know?

[Dr. Balls]

The keyboard tough guys are the ones that are the most testicularly challenged in their real life. They are usually dominated by their wives and have nothing to say when their significant other is present. The ones doth protesting too much have been ball less for years.

 

 

[That Ron Dude]

Tell her the truth. Before you do that be honest with yourself.

 

I assume that the comics are very important to you as literature and as art. They may also be an investment. They may also be a return to your youth.

 

I hope they are not harming your life. Are you behind on your mortgage? Do you dress well? Are you over on your line of credit? If so, you might want to listen to her and reorganize your priorities.

 

Bluntly, I have seen people collect comics and had it lead them to their livelihood. For others it is an escape from life. For some it has been a good investment, for others the expense has stopped their kids from going to university.

 

You may have your own head around this just fine, but you might not-- in fact I suspect you don't because you are asking faceless strangers for advice.

[Spiderphill]

I tell her to enjoy my ASM collection or there's the door!

[the blob]

he's talking about rought 1.2 CGC books a week...unless these are quadruple digit books and he's making $25K, this aren't going to kill him. if he's buying $50-$75 he could easily spend that much per week at his LCS if he had varied interests....and/or spend a heck of a lot more each week "going out with the guys" to some steakhouse, drinking, etc.

 

yes, there are elements of addiction that can seep into the hobby. i like to hit my shops very regularly "just in case" they've tossed some good stuff in the cheapo boxes. i hate the idea that someone else might snag said good stuff before I do. that is actually kind of nuts, I admit, but at the end of the day I justify it for financial reasons. there isn't a book i own that i wouldn't be happy to sell for what I perceive as FMV in a heartbeat. if i can play comic arbitrage and turn $5 into $20...you know the rationalization we go through