Guardians of the Galaxy Movie Sucks; No Spoilers by X-ray Spexx

[CSJournals-migration]

Ill try not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

 

So first off, let me say that I'm positive that this movie will makes TONS of money regardless of the quality, good or bad. Second, I'll probably end up seeing many more comic book movies until they get really, really bad ( ie. The Wolverine Part 2 ).

 

 

 

Lets be honest though, GOTG are a bunch of reject characters put together to keep Marvel Comics cash machine ringing. Starlord is a reject from Marvel Preview, so is Rocket Racoon, Groot is another forgotten character. Drax is a former hero created to be a foil for Thanos, he died, was then resurrected as an insufficiently_thoughtful_person, who is now smart and a mercenary/criminal/ninja. As I've started to note of late, Marvel isn't innovating anymore, they just keep rehashing old characters, like Ant Man. I always though Ant Man was a poor idea for a character which is why Henry Pym changed persona so much, they were trying to figure out something that would stick. Now everybody loves ant man but I still don't understand why. Why does Ant Man succeed where the Human Fly doesn't. Who knows, but if Marvel can keep digging up characters from 60-70's and rehabbing them, there won't be any new ideas or characters anytime soon.

 

 

 

With regards to the movie, there really isn't much of a plot, the movie simply serves as a means of getting from point A ( 2 infinity gems ) to point B ( Infinity Gaunlet ) via a popcorn movie that maybe can stand alone as another successful franchise. Below are 10 things that make this movie a weak entry:

 

1). Massive Humor Injection - they attempt to inject a lot more humor than say the Avengers but the timing is so poor that it interferes with the narrative and not all of it is funny. In Avengers the humor is unobtrusive and integrated into the process of the narrative but in GOTG its halting to the narrative, not always funny, and ruins some serious moments.

 

2). Characters are Flat - the characters don't have much depth at all. What we do not about Peter Quill is pretty shallow and cheap. The rational for how Peter Quill comes to be Starlord is laughable. Drax, Groot, and Rocket have no backstory. Gamora has some backstory to add depth but its minimal.

 

3). Bad Acting - the worst actors by far are Dave Bautista as Drax and Vin Diesel as Groot. Maybe its because Bautista isn't really an actor nor is Vin Diesel for that matter. Lets ask this, if Groot only says three words, how is it that Vin Diesel can mess this up? Why hire Vin Diesel at all to say three words, why not just get any voice actor?

 

4). Too Much CGI - way too much CGI and not enough live action. Too much CGI is part of the reason Stars Wars Episodes 1-3 sucked in addition to other factors. Live action is why Captain America Winter Soldier was so good. When you've got too many actors walking around in front of green screens talking to tennis balls it makes for a bad movie.

 

5). Bad Story - I know you can't just take a comic and put it on screen or vice versa, but why do they always feel the need to completely rewrite the story. Last I remember Drax was on a mission to kill Thanos, Gamora was a double agent for Thanos who changed to ally herself with Adam Warlock and was killed for it, Nebula was Thanos granddaughter whom he attempted to kill but she was never his agent, Gamora and Nebula were never sisters, and Ronan the Accuser was an agent of the Kree high intelligence. The original story was well plotted out and executed over several issues, over several years, in several books. What happened.

 

6). Poor Score - it seems like every time they want to get some type of emotional response from the audience we get another old school hit from the 60's-70's. This is in the place of good acting, good storytelling narrative, good scripting.

 

 

 

Needless to say I thought the movie sucked totally, like Thor 1 & 2, Wolverine 1 & 2, Daredevil, Punisher 1 & 2, Incredible Hulk, etc. Its still gonna probably make a ton of money.

 

See more journals by X-ray Spexx

[Alawson453]

Ok, now tell us how you really feel about this movie. Honestly did you

stay for the whole movie? If I saw it was going downhill as you say, I would

have bolted and watched another show

[HaydenTO]

REALLY?... REALLY?

 

Maybe the awesomeness of this movie "literally" went over your head and you failed to catch it

[Jimmy Linguini]

How are you going to talk negatively about Vin Disel? I say troll.

[Triskelion]

At the risk of stating the obvious everyone in this forum/ reading these journals are without a doubt exponentially more passionate and critical viewers of comic-themed movies than the average moviegoer. And there's a huge diversity of interest and passion. Nothing wrong with that, and absolutely nothing wrong with voicing out our respective thoughts.

 

In my opinion, it really doesn't matter if the movies Marvel makes aren't seen as 'innovative' by comic fans like us, many of which have likely been around and following books/ characters/ storylines for decades. Marvel's obvious target audience isn't necessarily us, or at least not just us. It is the broader base of general moviegoers who they hope will pay $$$ to see the next MCU movie. GotG and the whole storyline may be characters/themes very familar to us and many of us may not necessarily be fans of the books themselves, and therefore could elicit an impression that Marvel isn't being innovative, but that's not the point. The point is this is something new for non-comic fans, and the fact that movies like these get made is also something comic fans like us probably wouldn't have imagined only 10 or so years ago.

 

I'll be watching Guardians tomorrow with my family. Not all of us are into comic books. But we're all excited, and we all absolutely loooooved the previous MCU and similar comic book themed movies which came out over the past several years (both Thors, X-Men, Avengers, Watchmen, Batman, Superman .... and yes even the Hulk, Daredevil and Green Lantern!). Avengers is a good example of a blockbuster MCU movie wherein if one dispassionately breaks it down and criticizes it one would definitely find a lot of faults (check out the Honest Trailer of this online, nearly fell out of my seat laughing).. but heck for me its one of the best movies ever made and I've watched it over and over again!

 

My wife is excited to see GotG, with no background at all on the characters etc. I'm excited to see it as a genre fan. I know it probably won't be 'perfect' .... but to me its all about having fun!!!

 

 

[surfer99]

My family and I had the same attitude and open mindedness going into it that you did Triskelion. Saw it today and we have mixed reviews. My son and wife dont know these characters, and they both really liked the movie, two thumbs up. Me, I was more critical and echo some of X-ray Spexx points...I wasn't a big fan of the acting in general, the casting, or the 70s score. That's where my complaining ends though.

 

I liked the Infinity Gems plot, and the Starlord back story was good...as often as Marvel rewrites character origins (see Ultimate line, Brand New Day, etc.) it didn't bother me at all that the movie wasn't a mirror image of the comics. I liked how the characters played off one another...there were some great memorable scenes I won't point out here. Thanos was perfect and I can't wait to see more of him. Honestly, there are so many great Marvel story lines (e.g. Civil War, Mutant Massacre, etc.) I really hope they make more...who CARES if it's not innovative, I want to see these stories played out on the big screen!

 

 

[kaholo1256]

X-Ray,

 

I have to say right now Marvel seems to be trying with some originality with the Inhuman title. I'm a huge fan of Blackbolt and the Inhumans from Neal Adams run on Amazing Adventures but right now it seems the book is suffering from delays. When you have something new like that and trying to build a good base audience you need to keep it on track and I think Joe Mad has slowed progress. I love his art with the amount of detail he puts into his frame work but he just takes to long to crank things out.

 

Ms. Marvel is another one but honestly that one seems forced and to gimicie, if that's a word, to me.

 

As for the movie, haven't seen it yet but really want to. My son really wants to see the talking Rabbit... Yep, that's what he calls him, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it all ties into the eventual Thanos storyline. Just hoping I can go in with a, I've never heard of them mentality as it seems more and more I am being let down by the movie industry and there take on comic movies

[X-ray Spexx]

Hey look, I love a Marvel movie as much as the next person and was genuinely excited to see GotG to get my Marvel movie fix but I gotta say this movie seemed pretty bad. I'm not looking for my average Marvel movie to be Book of Life, There Will be Blood, or Silence of the Lambs, but Come ON!

 

1). I liked how Rocket Racoon and Ronan looked. I remember wondering how they were gonna pull those characters off and they did an excellent job. I thought the interstellar space stuff looked good as well.

2). Thanos was awesome, seeing Thanos done well was worth the price of admission. Its definitely got me excited for Avengers part 3.

3). Good to see other intergalactic beings from the MCU, I'll leave it at that so as not to spoil it. I wouldn't mind seeing the Watcher at some point. Wouldn't that be cool.

 

BUT

 

1). Tragic / Traumatic event + Miraculous Occurrence = Starlord

2). What planet is Michael Rooker's Yondu from, West Virginia? What planet is Rocket Racoon from, New Jersey, Philidelphia?

3). Anybody wonder why Rocket is Rocket instead of Rocket Racoon for the movie. Probably because Rocket Racoon just emphasizes how silly the idea is which doesn't bother us comic book fans but may be too over the top for regular movie goers, hence Rocket Racoon becomes Rocket.

4). Just because your painted blue, green, or pink doesn't make you an alien. I'm sorry, I'm pink so Im from outer space!

5). Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought space was really cold and without oxygen and you usually die if your out there without a spacesuit.

6). Groot only says three words like 7-8 times during the entire movie so why do we need Vin Diesel. Thats like a million dollars per word! I know Groot is made of wood so maybe they figured Vin would be a natural fit.

7). I remember the Collector and the Gamesmaster from the comic books were diabolical characters. In the movie the Collector just ends up being weird. Also, wasn't Ronan an agent of the Kree Supreme Intelligence. Remember him, the big brain in the jar.

 

I know that comics don't necessarily work if you try to take them from the page verbatim to the screen but you had talented writers and artists put together these wonderful stories only to have them torn apart for mass consumption. Some do a better job than others but I thought this effort was poor.

 

Anyway, I'll be watching the next couple of Marvel movies because I'm still a fan at my core but I haven't drunk the kool aid to the extent that they can just put anything in from of me and I'll be happy. I do think I saw the Kool Aid man in the collectors collection.

 

Also, if anyone is interested in reading a very interesting article regarding the directors perspective about the movie check out this totally biased NPR article. I like the part where he says the movie " needed him, frankly "

 

http://www.npr.org/2014/08/01/336629457/guardians-director-this-movie-needed-me

 

[Alawson453]

Well said Triskelion I'm taking my grandkids and it's what they think

about the movie that matters to me. I wish everyone a happy weekend!

[Heronext]

Agree with some of your points X-Ray but on the whole I liked it. One of Marvel's weakest overall plots, and The Collector was a totally missed opportunity, that was clear right from the Thor 2 post-credits scene. GOTG was a funny movie though and had some cool character design

[X-ray Spexx]

Hey, I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from going to see the movie or have a good time. If you like it then you like it and thats cool, I just thought it was a poor effort for any number of reasons. From mechanical, to acting, to plot, I can go on and on but thats just my take. I did go to see it despite my suspicions and will more than likely go see several more comic book movies of dubious quality. Nothing wrong with saying what you feel.

 

I agree the collector was a wasted opportunity. The character in the comics is diabolical, a real nemesis like a good ole time Batman villain, many good storylines to choose from. The role that the elders play in Thanos Quest is a rich piece of source material to be mined. The Collector in Thor the Dark World and GotG is just plain weird. Shaking, cringing, and what not, he's just weird. You got Benicio del Toro to be just plain weird. To me thats like a revolver to kill a flea.

 

We all know the movie is gonna make a bazillion dollars at the box office and they're gonna make like a threequel. I just thought it was poor. I found the fact that the director thought the movie " needed him " is laughable. Please check out the NPR link posted above to see what I'm talking about.

 

One thing for sure is that GotG part is gonna be better cause it can't get much worse.

[krighton]

Blah blah hate..blah blah sucks