Crisis On Infinite Message Boards 6 6

[JLA_ALL_THE_WAY]

Joanna,

 

Thanx for the re-acknowledgement in your thread (I thought my character died & missed it). You pegged me good with that sarcastic line. Thought I had toned down the facetiousness in my posts...not!!

 

Keep up the good work (or else I'll refer you to that nom de plume that you don't like...you know the one )

 

Rick

 

PS: Think we're the only ones up right now?

[Joanna]

Joanna,

 

Thanx for the re-acknowledgement in your thread (I thought my character died & missed it). You pegged me good with that sarcastic line. Thought I had toned down the facetiousness in my posts...not!!

 

No, there are just too many characters. And now that you mention it, you do tend to get slighted in the Hoard appearances, because fruit pies aren't like the other hostess products (not cake with goo), and I tend to write on the fly without checking the charater list. I'll try to be more vigilant.

 

Keep up the good work (or else I'll refer you to that nom de plume that you don't like...you know the one )

 

Oh dear, I'm totally blanking. There's a pen name I don't like?

 

 

PS: Think we're the only ones up right now?

 

Americans? Probably. Our non North American friends might be around though.

 

-- Joanna

[JLA_ALL_THE_WAY]

Oh dear, I'm totally blanking. There's a pen name I don't like?

 

Jo-Jo?

 

Sorry, YOU made me remind you.

 

Rick

[Joanna]

Oh dear, I'm totally blanking. There's a pen name I don't like?

 

Jo-Jo?

 

Sorry, YOU made me remind you.

 

Rick

 

ARGH! You're right!!! I try to push that one out of thought distance (never thought of it as a nom de plume either), but you're absolutely right. Perhaps Fruit Pie should take over as the sole lead.

 

Nah. Then everyone else would find their own verbal kryptonite with which to slay me. I'll just have to go on making mistakes, as I have, and hope for the best.

 

-- Joanna

[JLA_ALL_THE_WAY]

Sorry, I guess nom de plume was a bit off the mark (just trying to show off my fluency in italian).

 

Sorry, shouldn't have reminded you in the first place. Black-mailing really isn't my forte (there I go again with the italian).

 

Hmm, let's see...

 

Upsetting Joanna, who is loved by all...that should get me a strike or two.

 

Not to mention making my "Forumite of the Year" award a virtual lock.

 

Rick

[Joanna]

Sorry, I guess nom de plume was a bit off the mark (just trying to show off my fluency in italian).

 

Psst -- that's French, not Italian.

 

Sorry, shouldn't have reminded you in the first place. Black-mailing really isn't my forte (there I go again with the italian).

 

Also French.

 

Hmm, let's see...

 

Upsetting Joanna, who is loved by all...that should get me a strike or two.

 

No way! Bug would've had 3 strikes long ago if that were the case. He adores ticking me off. Just ask him about the Hindu.

 

Not to mention making my "Forumite of the Year" award a virtual lock.

 

Rick

 

Look at it this way. I all but said that everyone trapped in time was doomed, yet no one seemed to let that influence the voting. Even I hadn't expected that nasty story turn! I have NO idea what to do about it, either. I figure something will come to me down the road.

 

Nothing like writing without a plan. Makes it dangerous, but fun.

 

-- Joanna

[Joanna]

Issue 12, Part 1C: Lost in Time

 

Appearing in this issue:

 

Sgt. Rocky (Awe4one) Super strength

Damp Dude (Elvis) Aqua powers

Magic Tape (Scottish) stickiness

Go Go (Speedjunkies) Superspeed

Zilla (Zillatoy) Ninja dinosaur

Ape (CD4ever) Shape shifter

Chrome Dome (Chromium) power over metal

 

Issue 12, Part 1C: Lost in Time

 

The Hero Squadron is standing near the German border. Zilla is snoring loudly, exhausted after having carried the entire squad from their foxhole in France. Sgt. Rocky leans against a tree, smoking a cigarette, trying to bury the frustration he feels.

 

"The middle of freaking WWII, riding a gigantic ninja dinosaur through enemy lines, and not one battle? Not a bullet fired? What are the odds? I just don't get it. This is the most boring war I've ever been in."

 

Go Go hears his complaint and turns to Damp Dude and Magic Tape. "Should I tell him?"

 

"No! Don't tell him! He'll murder us all in our sleep if he finds out you've been capturing all the Germans on our route," says Damp Dude.

 

"We appreciate what you've done, Go Go. But I don't think Sgt. Rocky is going to be as happy about it."

 

Chrome Dome approaches the group. "I have an idea."

 

"What?"

 

"Why don't we stage a fake attack. Give him something to feel good about. Go Go, you can grab a bunch of bullets and just whiz them over his head. I can set off a few grenades and keep the shrapnel away. Tape, you can stick some German uniforms to those trees over there and give him something to shoot at."

 

"Great plan!"

 

"That's thinking, Dome!"

 

"What can I do?" asks Damp Dude.

 

"Rumor has it you can swim," says Dome.

 

"I know that! I mean, what can I do in the plan?"

 

"Oh. Um... you could pretend to be hurt so that the Sarge can bravely rescue you!"

 

"Genius!" says Go Go. "Icing on the cake if he gets to risk his life for a downed buddy. Let's do it!"

 

They quickly tell the others the plan, avoiding Zilla. No one wanted to disturb the sleeping dinosaur. His temper, and breath, were always bad in the morning.

 

Damp Dude distracts Sgt. Rocky so that Tape can sneak over to a demolished German gun position.

 

"So, Sarge, you got a girl back home?"

 

Sarge takes out a well-worn photo of a young Judy Garland. "Yeah, she's aces. Makes the sweetest apple pie in the county. And she can warble a good tune, too!"

 

"Isn't that Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz?"

 

"So what if it is!" he snarls. "My Betty looks just like her. Here's a photo of Betty." He hands Damp Dude an Archie Comic in G-.

 

"That's a fictional character, Sarge."

 

"So what if she is!" he snarls. "My Betty has the same name. Here's a photo of my Betty." He hands him the label off of a can of Campbell's Soup.

 

"You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

 

"No." He pauses a moment. "But I do enjoy soup."

 

DD nods, understandingly. "Soup is good food."

 

"It's Mm, mm good."

 

"We'll buy you a hooker when we get to Germany."

 

"Thank you."

 

Meanwhile

 

Tape and Ape, chosen for the job because their names rhyme, have made it to the German gun position. There are a couple of dozen dead bodies, a store of German grenades, and a large machine gun.

 

"Eww, dead guys," says Tape.

 

Ape sighs. "We're supposed to strip these guys and tape their uniforms to trees? That's nuts."

 

"Sounded better when Dome said it. I am so not wanting to take their clothes off. It's morbid, sick, and... kinda gay."

 

"Phobe."

 

"Am not!"

 

"Are too!"

 

"Fine! You do it."

 

"Do what?"

 

"Strip the bodies, Mr. PC. Take the uniforms off of a bunch of corpses so that I can tape them to the trees."

 

"Okay, you're sounding less like a homophobe and more like one of Bee's pre-code horror books."

 

"I know! That's what I'm trying to tell you! It's sick!"

 

"We have to give the Sarge something to shoot at. He probably wouldn't buy that he's being attacked by a bunch of trees."

 

"Let me think." Tape goes over to one of the bodies and pokes it. "I don't think they've been dead very long."

 

"Why do you say that?"

 

"He's still warm."

 

Both men realize it at the same time. "They're alive!"

 

"Oh geez."

 

"Oh boy."

 

"What's taking you guys so long?" asks Go Go, suddenly appearing.

 

"They're not dead," whispers Tape.

 

"Yeah, I just knocked them all out with a punch. I didn't realize we were going to be staying here for awhile."

 

"What if they wake up?"

 

They hear the click of a rifle being cocked. Slowly, all three turn to see themselves facing a dozen armed German soldiers.

 

"Zen you vill be our prisoners, no?" says the leader.

 

To be continued...

 

[greggy]

[chrisco37]

 

Chris

[chromium]

[Bronty]

Joanna,

 

This is hilarious. I too always avoided this thread because I thought it was actually about Crisis or would take a turn that way... damn am I sorry I missed it. Thanks for writing this

[greggy]

Joanna,

 

This is hilarious. I too always avoided this thread because I thought it was actually about Crisis or would take a turn that way... damn am I sorry I missed it. Thanks for writing this

Dork!

[Joanna]

Joanna,

 

This is hilarious. I too always avoided this thread because I thought it was actually about Crisis or would take a turn that way... damn am I sorry I missed it. Thanks for writing this

 

You haven't missed a thing. With this thread, you can join any time. Welcome to the story!

 

-- Joanna

[ArAich]

"Money!" says Rerun proudly. "He wants money."

 

Just shows to go ya...Re-Run is smarter than he looks...

[Joanna]

IMPORTANT

 

It has come to my attention that it is possible to mistake this work of fiction as some sort of documentary. Please read the following very carefully:

 

If your name is associated with a character and you don't like the way the character is written, please let me know so that I can immediately, and without prejudice, kill off the character, or replace your name with someone who wants to be represented in the story.

 

Tell me now, or forever hold your peace. It can be very difficult to kill off a character when the story dictates otherwise, and I don't want to have to constantly rethink entire sections because I've lost a vital character.

 

MEMORIZE THIS: This is a work of fiction. Just because your name is associated with a character, that doesn't mean I am writing a biography, or in any way trying to represent the "real you".

 

(you may stop memorizing now)

 

 

I don't know what most of you look like, or how old you are, or if you're fat or thin or short or tall (except Lighthouse -- he's tall). I don't know what psychological buttons you have that I might accidently push. Nothing in this story is written with intent to mock you with cruelty. I do occasionally satarize the personalities displayed on this forum. It is not done to belittle you. It is done with affection.

 

If you feel that you cannot handle the thought of being associated with a fictional character, or you have the sort of personality that sees no difference between reality and fiction, then please tell me now so that I may excise your name from any association with the story.

 

Thank you.

 

-- Joanna

 

 

[ArAich]

This is a work of fiction. Just because your name is associated with a character, that doesn't mean I am writing a biography, or in any way trying to represent the "real you".

 

But in real life I actually do have a TV in my belly...although the reception kinda sucks...

[mrwoogieman]

Shock...Outrage...How DARE you lump me in with that gang of reprobates "The Lurkers"??!!??!! What's next? Pimping farm animals??!!

 

(The above is my classless attempt to imitate j-c's tone of righteous indignation)

 

Please continue to so lump yours truly in this cool little (fictional) tale.

 

Thanks Joanna for the laughs!

[Aces]

Is my Lurker Red Blob thingy still alive...?

[FlyingDonut]

When will we see the debut and first appearance of the DonutHole? Her special power is the ability to wake up adults in the middle of the night with simple phrases like "My tummy hurts, I threwed up," "I had a bad dream can I sleep with you," "Its very dark outside," (well no kidding, as it is 3 AM) and the classic "What are you guys doing?", directed at me and Mrs. Donut...

[AlexH]

So I actually sat down today and read the whole thread. WHEW!!! Good job!