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Crisis On Infinite Message Boards
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Started by Illiterati-migration,

1,204 posts in this topic

lighthouse

lighthouse

Posted
Posted

Joanna,

 

It's been 57 days since the last installment of Crisis...

 

I miss it...

 

I miss it terribly...

 

I miss it more than the Goth Princess, who left me to dance in juice bars...

 

I miss it more than Gerald, the crazy drunk guy who used to live across the street from me...

 

Heck, I miss it more than my first car, a 1978 Cadillac Coupe De Ville...

 

I miss Crisis...

 

More, please? flowerred.gif

 

Please? flowerred.gifflowerred.gifflowerred.gif

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greggy

greggy

Posted
Posted

Shut yer piehole!

 

Try being positive about something besides romance comics.

 

Sincerely,

 

A short mofo.

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Illiterati-migration

Illiterati-migration

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Shut yer piehole!

 

Try being positive about something besides romance comics.

 

Sincerely,

 

A short mofo.

 

Dear ASM,

 

Get off Greggy's case. You'd be like that too if you were born with hooves and a curly tail. Oh, and Greggy wears diapers. I don't know why, but he does.

 

Yours,

 

The UnThinker.

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deathlok

deathlok

Posted
Posted

Shut yer piehole!

 

Try being positive about something besides romance comics.

 

Sincerely,

 

A short mofo.

 

Dear ASM,

 

Get off Greggy's case. You'd be like that too if you were born with hooves and a curly tail. Oh, and Greggy wears diapers. I don't know why, but he does.

 

Yours,

 

The UnThinker.

 

Dear TUT,

 

You should leave ASM alone. Everyone knows he's old and cranky. He doesn't mean what he says. It must be the pills talking, or those CGG off-gases he continues to inhale. I wonder who in Canada changes Greggy's diapers.

 

Yours,

 

The Wolf Who Cried Boy

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Joanna

Joanna

Posted
Posted

For 'House.

 

To look up what happened before, read chapter 12, part 1H

 

 

Chapter 12, Part 2H: New Beginnings That Seem Like Old Beginnings!

 

Appearing in this issue:

 

Flying 'House (Flying 'House) Flight

Lighthouse (Lighthouse) eye beams

Spelling Bee (PovertyRow) flight, stinger

Raspberry Toaster Pastry (Darthdeisel) flight, goo

KostumeKween (MajorKhaos) Powers of Supergirl Week Guy (NewtSamson) Lord of Time Stream

Month Guy (Redhook) Lord of Time Stream

 

 

Chapter 12, Part 2H: New Beginnings That Seem Like Old Beginnings!

 

The JBH (Justa Buncha Heroes) and two of the time masters watch as a man leading a giant red blob, which is being chased by angry bikers, comes toward them.

 

"Newt, I don't like the looks of this," says Month Guy.

 

"Me neither, Red."

 

"Hang on a minute," says 'House. "Your name isn't Red. It's Jonny Double."

 

"No, it's not," says Red, his steely gaze unblinking.

 

Newt pulls 'House aside. "Just chill with the Jonny references. He ran into a little trouble."

 

"What kind of trouble?"

 

"Woman trouble."

 

"Is there any other kind?"

 

"Well, there's girl trouble, but we're going to keep this clean." Newt glances at the rest of the group, to make sure they're not listening. They aren't. Instead, they're all watching RTP squeeze her breasts in a demonstration of her powers. It's one of the JBH's new favorite things ever to watch.

 

'House, usually the one to ask RTP to demonstrate, reluctantly pulls his attention back to Newt. "What did Jonny do? I mean, we've been here together the whole time. I don't see how he could have done anything."

 

"I thought we already explained that in the beginning of time, things aren't always what they seem. The laws of physics and nature are more like suggestions."

 

"So an irresistible force meeting an immovable object..."

 

"Here we'd say a somewhat alluring force met a slightly stubborn object. Neither is really all that keen on staying still or moving."

 

"This is quite the fun place."

 

"Wonderful vacation spot. Next time you should bring the kids."

 

"So what did Jonny do?"

 

"He called a woman 'cunning'. That's a big insult around these parts."

 

"Cunning? Really? Cunning as in clever and artful?"

 

"Sshhh!" Newt looks around, hoping no one is listening. "For crying out loud, never use cunning, clever, and artful in the same sentence! In fact, don't use them in any sentences! You want to get us all killed? Geez, I'd better warn the rest of you guys."

 

"Don't tell KostumeKween. He'll take it as a challenge to use all three words as often as possible."

 

"Are you two picking out a china pattern or something?" shouts Donut. "I mean, we do have a blob and a bunch of bikers running at us."

 

"Funny how they made no progress since the last time we looked at them," says Bee. "In fact, they stopped all together when RTP was squeezing her breasts. I wonder why?"

 

"Just how old are you?" asks KostumeKween.

 

Newt says, "Red, explain about the suggestions of physics and nature, okay?"

 

"Will do." Red huddles with the rest of the group, while the blob and bikers run in place so that all the characters can get out their exposition.

 

Newt and 'House eye Kostumekween. "So you think he might be trouble?" asks Newt.

 

"Only with linguistics. With everything else, he'll be like the rest of us: totally useless."

 

"Gotcha. We'll just have to keep him away from wordplay. You wouldn't believe what some of the other bad words are."

 

"Like what?"

 

"I'm not tellin'! For crying out loud, my mom might read this!"

 

"Oh, c'mon, just tell me one more."

 

Newt whispers it in his ear.

 

"Cool? That's a bad word?"

 

"Shut up! It's the absolute worst. Carries the death penalty."

 

'House pales. "That's not good." He glances toward the group. RTP is bent over, searching the ground, her posterior high in the air.

 

"Funny, I don't even remember you wearing contact lenses, Kween," she says.

 

'House grunts in frustration. "If only there were some way to mask the words and therefore stay away from trouble."

 

"Hmm... there might just be a way." Newt leads 'House back to the group, rubbing his chin thoughtfully in a clichéd manner.

 

"And as that demonstration showed, it's not the law of gravity, it's the suggested method of staying glued to the earth. But then, half of you guys fly, so you should understand this stuff. At least here you'll only be breaking a suggestion, instead of a law." Red turns to see Newt and 'House arrive back at the group. "Ready?"

 

"Yes. I had to pee," says 'House, covering for why he left the group, his mind spinning with the possible dangers they might face in the beginning of time.

 

"And you needed Newt to hold it for you or something?" asks Kostumekween. "What a cunning way to avoid Red's boring lecture on the science of non-science, though you missed a clever demonstration of why contacts don't always fall to the ground."

 

Red, Newt and 'House gasp at KK's use of the words 'cunning' and 'clever' in the same sentence.

 

"You can't--" says Red.

 

Newt slaps a hand over his mouth. "Hang on, Red, there could be a problem." He looks at 'House, who has sidled next to KK.

 

"Shut up, KK. Just don't talk for awhile."

 

"Huh? What's wrong? Why shouldn't I talk? It isn't like that blob is going to get here before dinnertime, at the rate he's running."

 

"What's going on?" asks Donut. "Is this some artful way of trying to get us to do your evil bidding?"

 

Again, Newt, Red, and 'House cringe. "Just shut up! Everyone!" says 'House.

 

"Did Newt corrupt you?" asks Bee. "Are you the new villain in this scenario? Frankly, I thought it'd be the blob. Or maybe the bikers. But having 'House turn on his fellow JBHers would be a truly cunning plot twist."

 

"GAK!" shouts Red, sweating bullets.

 

"Are you guys incapable of shutting your mouths?" asks Newt.

 

'House throws up his hands in defeat. "I really thought it would be Kween who'd screw us. But apparently I don't know my teammates as well as I thought I did."

 

"It really is clever to use 'House against us," says RTP.

 

"Did you see how he told that artful lie about peeing?" says Bee.

 

"And his cunning use of dismissive hand gestures -- don't forget those," says Donut.

 

"Just shut up all of you... you... 'TARDS!" shouts 'House.

 

All of the color drains from the faces of Newt and Red.

 

"He did NOT just say that," says Red.

 

"I didn't think I had to mention that word. I mean, who in their right mind would ever call another human being a... a... I can't say it."

 

Just then sirens are heard.

 

"Oh, God, it's the ROBOT squad."

 

"Robots?" asks Bee, suddenly interested.

 

"RIGHTEOUS OFFICERS of the BEGINNING OF TIME," says Red.

 

"Cool!" says Kween.

 

"Holy cunning," whispers Newt. "We are dead men talking."

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blutobc

blutobc

Posted
Posted

"The JBH (Justa Buncha Heroes) and two of the time masters watch as a man leading a giant red blob, which is being chased by angry bikers, comes toward them."

 

Yea, I'm still kicking in this story, even if it is as an unnamed man leading the former shills.

 

I think Aces and me are the only nonshills to survive the mass board joining from a few months back. Of course Aces joined the evil forces of Mylite and posted a few hundred gremlins to boost his post count grin.gif

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Red Hook

Red Hook

Posted
Posted

I am........not worthy! Thanks Joanna! My first Crisis appearance. I haven't felt like this since the day of my Bar Mitzvah (especially since I'm a Lutheran!)

 

Kudos!

 

Red/Brad acclaim.gif

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lighthouse

lighthouse

Posted
Posted

For 'House.

 

To look up what happened before, read chapter 12, part 1H

 

 

Chapter 12, Part 2H: New Beginnings That Seem Like Old Beginnings!

 

cloud9.gif

 

I can't decide whether it's the new issue of Crisis or these fabulous pain meds, but I suddenly want to curl up in a blanket and coo... thumbsup2.gif893applaud-thumb.gif

 

Mmmmm... Crisis... cloud9.gif

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Red Hook

Red Hook

Posted
Posted

(Okay, Joanna, I promised I wouldn't do this but.....I really want to see how quick the lads are to line up with responses to this......)

 

 

So, okay......I am Month Guy. I assume that means I only come twelve times a year??

 

 

(Please, no pushing and shoving....just take a number......)

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AlexH

AlexH

Posted
Posted
(Okay, Joanna, I promised I wouldn't do this but.....I really want to see how quick the lads are to line up with responses to this......)

 

 

So, okay......I am Month Guy. I assume that means I only come twelve times a year??

 

 

(Please, no pushing and shoving....just take a number......)

 

MUST...NOT...MAKE...JOKE...ARGHH!!! devil.gif

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