In desperation...

[Ijiwaru Sensei]

I started collecting when I was 8, but had to sell my entire collection when I was 18 to help pay for my sophomore year of college. I kept only one coverless comic that had a really sappy story in it, but one that had really affected me when I was a kid. I never looked back, until 15 years later. I've spent the last 5 years recollecting the issues I sold.

 

As far as your situation, which isn't totally clear, your choice seems difficult. If it's financial, get rid of the comics. Like others have said, they can be replaced in the future. If it's just a power struggle, you better stand your ground, or at least work out a compromise. The first few years of a marriage is about learning who is going to control what. Compromise is key, but so is not being a doormat. I think power sharing is a learned trait.

[Excelsior!-migration]

I am going through the exact same thing right now. Time to buy a house so I have to sell off my HG/HV CGC comics to raise the cash for down payment and closing costs. Quality of life definitely trumps comic books in my eyes.

[BassGMan]

I only read the first post so sorry if I am repeating anyone. But regarding the wife or comics? The answer is simple. If the wife wanted me to sell comics I bought with my own money for some other luxury (new home, furniture, car, vacation, or even debts) then sorry, I choose the comics. However, if I felt that some other priority is more important, then fine. I realize the wife is more important than the comics, but if the wife cannot respect my love of the comics and belittles them for some other non-necessity, then 100% absolutely I choose the comics. That kind of wife would be very replacable.

[Ze-man]

Ok.. I for one am in a relationship that is comic friendly.

 

BUT

 

With that said.. I know... she does not know the full extent of how much I have spent over the years.

 

Granted.. she is no dummy.. and knows the books I want are not cheap.. (she even bought my a nice HG tec for x mas.. so she knows.)

I also have not spent over $400 on a book EVER

 

Luckily if it was on the table.. she would roll her eyes.. punch me in the arm... and call me a few names and laugh at me. Then it would be over.. because she knows in the end family comes first.. with my hobby a close second.

While I might be willing to do without a few things ..so I can buy comics.. it does not mean I have the right to ask her to do that.. she just does.. for some reason.. I guess she loves me.

 

So yet another poll...

[Mushroom]

Before I was comic collector I was a vinyl & music-junkie...

 

About 5 years ago a fire destroyed most of the apartment where my wife and I lived and we only got a small portion back from the insurance company, I lost more than 7000 record albums and CDs and my wife lost a lot of family heirlooms. Picking up the pieces wiped us out financially and emotionally, but we carried on (my wife was pregnant at the time of the fire, luckily nobody was home when it occurred). I was at an all time low, because not only was my home gone and all the souvenirs and memories from my entire life spent all over Europe, my prized music collection was destroyed, never to be replaced.

 

I remember you telling this story a year or so ago and it freaked me out then and it still does. If that happened to me then I am sure I would die. Having said that.....records are my passion and as I have stated before on the boards I have every record I ever bought......that was until a couple of weekends ago. My wife runs a little stall at our local markets and she asked if there were any records I wanted to get rid off (vinyl sells very well in OZ). She knows that I have upgraded a large part of my collection over the years and so I thought what the heck. As I dragged them out I noticed that nearly every record had a "Hurstville Record Centre" price sticker on it (where I grew up). I thought that I would never let them go but I did and i have felt no remorse in doing so.

 

 

As to our sotted friend who started this thread.

 

If I was you I would go with the flow and do what you think is right for you. Just remember you will have a lifetime to rethink any decision you make now in haste.

[Sal]

...or was the understanding dream woman just a facade on her part to reel him in? I have seen the scenario played out countless times with some of my single pals. She's just great when she's getting to know you and yours, but once things get pretty serious......POOF!!!!!! Miss Dream Woman vanishes and the real woman involved here shows her true/"live with" self. If this was the case..very simple, she is not the woman you feel in love with, because most time you're loving/missing the person she used to be - not the one she is now. They may look the same, but bottom line is she has changed...

 

well, now, i only gots the two quotes by Apotheosis(sic) to go on here, but it sure seems as though - bolded part especially - Currin has nailed it on the head here, spelling and grammar issues be damn'ed. if it is, kick that a** to the curb and that right quick, to paraphrase The Shawshank Redemption. apologies if my assumptions are incorrect

[jbud73]

I am not allowed to ever bring the collection upstairs.

 

 

 

Sorry, that just struck me as really funny.

 

Glad you enjoyed that!

 

Not true Herb I've seen portions of your collection above ground. Oh and if this gig in Cali goes south can, I live in the comics room downstairs.

[Apotheosis]

Back again... and much more sober now. It only took until about 2 hours ago to feel well enough to move around. I have got to stop drinking...

 

Anyway... After reading through all the posts in here I would like to say thanks. I didn't think that there would be so many responses. I also discovered that I should have been a bit more specific as to the reasons for the thread...

 

My wife is still the dream wife that she was when I posted that stuff last year. She still supports my hobby and has even gotten into it herself. It is not her desire that I sell any of my stuff at all. In fact she doesn't even know that I'm contemplating doing any of this. If she did know it would make her feel bad and I don't need that until it's a forgone conclusion that it's going to happen.

 

The reason for selling the comics is strictly due to immediate financial issues. The reason she would feel bad about me selling is because the financial side has come from her having been unemployed for the last two and a half months. Finding a job has been extremely tough for her and the money we had saved is running out. My checks will cover the majority of expenses, but not quite all. We could survive if we started hitting the credit cards, but that idea scares the hell out of me. I've been down that road and don't want to do it again. My comics are the only things that we have that are easy to liquidate. Sure, we have her jewelry, but since we're still relatively young and I don't make huge money the only piece that she has that is even worth all that much is her wedding ring. Obviously we aren't doing that.

 

One thing that can save the collection (temporarily) is if our tax return shows up in the next two weeks. The bigger picture is her finding a job. With any luck at all both will happen.

 

Let's hope this is all just temporary. I'm hoping to go to the San Diego ComiCon in July so things need to get fixed quickly.

[october]

Good luck man, hope things turn out all right.

[awe4one]

The reason she would feel bad about me selling is because the financial side has come from her having been unemployed for the last two and a half months. Finding a job has been extremely tough for her and the money we had saved is running out.

 

This exact thing happened to me in 1993 when my wife separated from the military and couldn't find a job for half a year. Compound that with the fact we had a kid and bought both a house and a car the year before and we were hurting pretty badly. I sold off most of my comics during that time (and didn't buy any for that matter). We got through it fine (and thank god for me buying all the early Valiants) and frankly are much better for it as a couple. I truly believe everyone should go through some financial difficulties as a young couple as you will better appreciate the little things in your life other than the tangible.

 

I never missed the comics...when it comes to keeping comics or putting food on the table and buying Huggies for the baby, the answer is amazingly easy. Today, I have a family that's both financially and physically healthy. Not to mention all those comics I sold in 1993 have been reacquired and hold a special place in my heart. I'm reminded of that period in my life everytime I see a Spider-Man #300, Hulk #340, New Mutants #87, and, again, thank god for the early Valiants...

 

Jim

[tth2]

The reason for selling the comics is strictly due to immediate financial issues. The reason she would feel bad about me selling is because the financial side has come from her having been unemployed for the last two and a half months. Finding a job has been extremely tough for her and the money we had saved is running out. My checks will cover the majority of expenses, but not quite all. We could survive if we started hitting the credit cards, but that idea scares the hell out of me. I've been down that road and don't want to do it again. My comics are the only things that we have that are easy to liquidate. Sure, we have her jewelry, but since we're still relatively young and I don't make huge money the only piece that she has that is even worth all that much is her wedding ring. Obviously we aren't doing that.

 

One thing that can save the collection (temporarily) is if our tax return shows up in the next two weeks. The bigger picture is her finding a job. With any luck at all both will happen.

 

Let's hope this is all just temporary. I'm hoping to go to the San Diego ComiCon in July so things need to get fixed quickly.

A little clarity in your initial post would have saved a lot of unncessary speculation on this thread. Financial well-being vs. comic collection is a no-brainer: comics are a luxury, not a necessity. So given the choice between going into debt and selling your comics (or any major liquid asset), you gotta sell.

 

However, at the risk of starting to sound like Suze Orman or some other self-professed personal finance guru, selling your assets is only a stop-gap measure (unless your collection is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars). You've still got to get your financial house in order, otherwise in a few months, or few years, you'll find yourselves in the same situation after you've run through the proceeds from the sale of your comics. If you don't mind my saying so, the fact that you paint this dire financial picture and then are talking about going to the SD Con (only 4 months away) is insanity, even if you get a good tax refund check back and make some good money from selling comics. Until your combined monthly income exceeds your monthly expenses on a regular basis, you need to cut out luxuries and unnecessary expenses--like comics.

[Apotheosis]

If you don't mind my saying so, the fact that you paint this dire financial picture and then are talking about going to the SD Con (only 4 months away) is insanity, even if you get a good tax refund check back and make some good money from selling comics. Until your combined monthly income exceeds your monthly expenses on a regular basis, you need to cut out luxuries and unnecessary expenses--like comics.

 

That's why I said that I hope I can go to the SD con. If she can get a job in the next month then things will go back to normal and we'll make more than our monthly expenses. If she can't get one in that time then SD is out. Trust me... I'd push off SD before selling my comics if I thought that's all it would take. As things currently stand both are out. I'm just hoping things change so I can go.

[BassGMan]

Sometimes it is tough to find a new job. I've been there and others I know have been there. I'd suggest while looking that your wife may consider working for a temp agency while waiting for interviews and permanent job openings. Doing basically anything suitable. May take a little time away from the job search but it may also save your comics.

[Sal]

my wife was without work for almost two years, and without a last-second infusion of cash from my folks - embarrassing as it was, being thirty two and needing one's parents to bail you out - we would have been in default on a number of our bills. so i do feel your pain.

 

i also will say that we earned quite a bit of money last year as she was able to find a great job that paid her rather well. which hopefully provides you with some small comfort. nothing is forever and everything happens for a reason.

 

 

one word of caution; financial troubles are the single leading cause of marital strife. be prepared to have lengthy discussions about the relative worth of your wife versus things like a house and material possessions, and for God's sake don't let her take ownership of your financial issues. i had to constantly remind my wife that even if we went broke, we still had each other, and that she was not solely responsible for our financial health

[Darthdiesel]

... wife... my own money ....

 

 

These two things can not co-exist in this reality

[BassGMan]

... wife... my own money ....

 

 

These two things can not co-exist in this reality

 

Well, I'm not talking about the way the law sees it. But after household expenses are paid by both of us, what's left in each of our paychecks/accounts is ours to do with individually the way we choose. Not to mention what I make on Ebay. All couples do things differently but with my wife and I we most certainly have "joint money" and our own money. With my money, my wife knows better than to try to tell me what to do with it or how to spend it, so she doesn't. If she even tried she'd hear from me that I will do with it what I want, however, who knows I may agree with her because she does have some good ideas. Same rules in reverse. Works great for us. This has been the way it's been from the start. I'd never even get involved with a woman who tried to be controlling with the money I made. Or if I did, she'd have to learn that she could not be that way.

[Darthdiesel]

I'm guessing you don't have any kids...

[BassGMan]

I'm guessing you don't have any kids...

 

Correct. But obviously if I did I would probably need to reorganize my financial priorities. If my kid needed daycare and we couldn't afford it, I would not need my wife to tell me that I needed to sell some comics to pay for it, I'd know that already myself and would start selling. My priorities are well balanced. I just would not allow a wife to tell me what my priorities are or should be.

[Apotheosis]

Thanks for all the imput everyone. It is helpful to see that others have been through the same thing.

[BellaDonna]

... wife... my own money ....

 

 

These two things can not co-exist in this reality

 

 

Sure it can exist, it is common? Probably not. I for one vote for this idea. We have money set aside for bills and the rest is our own money and to spend on whatever we would like.

 

I can't remember anytime that I have nagged him about what he spent and where and the same goes with him and me. I think when you start telling each other how to spend money it is a form of control and has no good outcome.

 

I find we never fight about money period. I pay for my own car and my own insurance he pays for his.If they are my credit cards I pay them, if they are his he pays them. No joint credit cards. The rest of the bills are paid jointly. A lot of women want to push all the money together but I find that only causes fights about money in the end. There is no doubt that if one of us had some type of hardship we would help one another.

 

I just find it much easier to do it this way. We are both responsible and we know the bills will get paid each month and no fights about money is an added bonus.