The Official All-Star Batman & Robin #1 Sucks Thread (SPOILERS)

[delekkerste]

I just finished reading All-Star Batman & Robin #1 and I cannot believe what a steaming POS this is. Did Frank Miller actually write this? I am embarrassed for him; this is the worst Miller story I have ever read by far. For those of us who read/worshipped his work in the 1980s, this book represents our worst nightmare, that he would abandon his own writing style in favor of the Bendis-esque style currently in vogue. What we have here is Frank Miller writing like a Bendis wannabe and doing so in a most undistinguished fashion.

 

Not much happens in this issue as ol' Frank decides to try his hand at decompressed storytelling in a monthly format. It's a lot of pretty pictures of nonsensical events tied together by some really horrific dialogue (the Vicki Vale dialogue was particularly insipid). And did we really need to have the close-up booty shots of Vicki Vale in lingerie, Vicki getting beaten up by a (male) cop, coarse language and the Grayson family origin being re-written to include a very bloody, R-rated demise? Make no mistake, this is NOT the classic version of Batman and Robin here that you can give to a 10-year old to try and get him hooked on comics - VERY disappointing. This is the same pseudo-hip, wannabe hyper-realistic decompressed garbage being pandered to the same zombies and drooling fanboys as usual, a la Bendis, Straczynski, etc.

 

THIS is what we have all been waiting months for? I'm not just disappointed, I am downright angry at how much of a letdown this book was. I'm debating whether to even pick up the rest of the story at this point. Seeing Miller write like this is like seeing Mike Tyson's last fight - a former legend, well past his prime, who is humiliating himself and tarnishing his legacy. Give it up, Frank - go make some more movies and hang out in Cannes some more. That way we can just remember your Daredevil run, The Dark Knight Returns, Ronin, etc. and not the travesty that is All-Star Batman & Robin.

[october]

I'm debating whether to even pick up the rest of the story at this point.

 

After what you just said, why are you debating? That's the reason that so many companies (from movie to comics) can get away with churning out substandard material. It seems comic fans are particularly prone to this unfortunate mentality.

 

I know that what marginal interest I had in the series is now gone because of your review. Thanks for saving me $3.

[Darthdiesel]

Looks like this one will be a hit and worth slabbing in the short term Just be glad Miller is not doing the art on this one...

[blowout]

I'm debating whether to even pick up the rest of the story at this point.

 

After what you just said, why are you debating? That's the reason that so many companies (from movie to comics) can get away with churning out substandard material. It seems comic fans are particularly prone to this unfortunate mentality.

 

Well said.

 

 

 

 

Vote with your feet Gene.

[deathlok]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

[Hobgoblin]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

 

I was just excited to start a Batman regular series from issue #1, because there's no way in hell I'll ever have a respectable run of the original Batman series.

[BradleyX2]

I have to agree it was very bad.

 

In short, if you're going to do an "Ultimate Batman" series, this is NOT how to write the first issue.

[deathlok]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

 

I was just excited to start a Batman regular series from issue #1, because there's no way in hell I'll ever have a respectable run of the original Batman series.

 

What's wrong with collecting Shadow of the Bat or Legend of the Dark Knight or Gotham Nights?

 

All are ongoing Batman titles.

[BradleyX2]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

 

I was just excited to start a Batman regular series from issue #1, because there's no way in hell I'll ever have a respectable run of the original Batman series.

 

What's wrong with collecting Shadow of the Bat or Legend of the Dark Knight or Gotham Nights?

 

All are ongoing Batman titles.

 

 

Yeah, but none of them have "Batman" in the title, so they don't count.

[awe4one]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

 

I was just excited to start a Batman regular series from issue #1, because there's no way in hell I'll ever have a respectable run of the original Batman series.

 

What's wrong with collecting Shadow of the Bat or Legend of the Dark Knight or Gotham Nights?

 

All are ongoing Batman titles.

 

 

Yeah, but none of them have "Batman" in the title, so they don't count.

 

Isn't the correct title: Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight?

 

 

Jim

[Zonker]

Make no mistake, this is NOT the classic version of Batman and Robin here that you can give to a 10-year old to try and get him hooked on comics - VERY disappointing.

 

Whatever it is, the All-Star line looks to be no more kid-friendly than Marvel's The Ultimates. Those 'goddamns' and 'jesuses' in Miller's -script sealed the deal. Instead, it looks like the continuity-free approach to grab "new readers" has nothing at all to do with the next gen of potential new readers and everything to do with wooing lapsed thirtysomething fanboys back to DC.

 

Oh, and the VV butt-shots were clearly old Frank pandering to Jim Lee's artistic strengths!

[Foolkiller]

Oh Gene, you were pre disposed not to like it anyway. You weren't high on the concept... no, it's not vintage Frank Miller... but I did enjoy it. Immensely.

 

Look, the big thing I'm disappointed in is that it's NOT a fun ride for kids. That's what it was billed as, and it's not classic Batman and Robin. But I enjoyed and I think that, for what it is, which is a decent Batman story, it was good. I loved the Jim Lee art too. Was it worth the hype? No, I suppose not.

 

 

 

I just finished reading All-Star Batman & Robin #1 and I cannot believe what a steaming POS this is. Did Frank Miller actually write this? I am embarrassed for him; this is the worst Miller story I have ever read by far. For those of us who read/worshipped his work in the 1980s, this book represents our worst nightmare, that he would abandon his own writing style in favor of the Bendis-esque style currently in vogue. What we have here is Frank Miller writing like a Bendis wannabe and doing so in a most undistinguished fashion.

 

Not much happens in this issue as ol' Frank decides to try his hand at decompressed storytelling in a monthly format. It's a lot of pretty pictures of nonsensical events tied together by some really horrific dialogue (the Vicki Vale dialogue was particularly insipid). And did we really need to have the close-up booty shots of Vicki Vale in lingerie, Vicki getting beaten up by a (male) cop, coarse language and the Grayson family origin being re-written to include a very bloody, R-rated demise? Make no mistake, this is NOT the classic version of Batman and Robin here that you can give to a 10-year old to try and get him hooked on comics - VERY disappointing. This is the same pseudo-hip, wannabe hyper-realistic decompressed garbage being pandered to the same zombies and drooling fanboys as usual, a la Bendis, Straczynski, etc.

 

THIS is what we have all been waiting months for? I'm not just disappointed, I am downright angry at how much of a letdown this book was. I'm debating whether to even pick up the rest of the story at this point. Seeing Miller write like this is like seeing Mike Tyson's last fight - a former legend, well past his prime, who is humiliating himself and tarnishing his legacy. Give it up, Frank - go make some more movies and hang out in Cannes some more. That way we can just remember your Daredevil run, The Dark Knight Returns, Ronin, etc. and not the travesty that is All-Star Batman & Robin.

[Hobgoblin]

I now feel justified that I was the only not looking forward to the All-Star books.

 

It sounded like a bad idea from the beginning.

 

I was just excited to start a Batman regular series from issue #1, because there's no way in hell I'll ever have a respectable run of the original Batman series.

 

What's wrong with collecting Shadow of the Bat or Legend of the Dark Knight or Gotham Nights?

 

All are ongoing Batman titles.

 

I've never read a single issue of those three titles. And this way, I won't have to go back and buy all those back-issues.

[DKB]

This book is supposed to be out of continuity yes? A reboot much like the Ultimate line?

 

That was what excited me. Batman stories without 65 year of continuity I am clueless about. I hate not being in the loop. Back in the 80s, when Marvel still used *s, I'd make two trips to the store, one to buy the new books and one the next day to buy all the books mentioned with all the *s.

 

Maybe I'll pick it up in trade format.

[delekkerste]

Oh Gene, you were pre disposed not to like it anyway. You weren't high on the concept...

 

Not true - I wasn't high on the concept of a 12-year old Robin (and Bruce/Bats does not look or act "24 or 25" at all in this issue, BTW), but I was very much looking forward to adding this to my list of new titles to pick up.

 

 

no, it's not vintage Frank Miller... but I did enjoy it. Immensely.

 

"Not vintage Frank Miller" is a gross understatement! If Miller's name wasn't on the cover and in the credits, would you have guessed that he was the writer on this steaming POS?

 

 

Look, the big thing I'm disappointed in is that it's NOT a fun ride for kids. That's what it was billed as, and it's not classic Batman and Robin.

 

It's not at all appropriate for kids, unless someone considers scenes of gunshot wounds to the head, gratuitous extended lingerie shots, women getting battered and coarse language is appropriate. It's just meant to titillate and suck in the dollars of the drooling testesterone-driven, 18-45 year old fanboy demograhic.

 

 

But I enjoyed and I think that, for what it is, which is a decent Batman story, it was good. I loved the Jim Lee art too.

 

Are you kidding me? Did you and I read the same story, BK??? Why would an assassin kill the Graysons in public like that when he could easily have done it after the show, in the dead of night? Is Gotham really so lawless that the cops, crooked or not, can batter a beautiful, well-known female journalist in front of a huge crowd of onlookers? How is it that Bruce can change into Bats, track down the assassin and stop him before he can get away? All the events were so illogical and implausible as to be completely unbelievable, even by comic book standards. Awful, awful, awful.

 

And I still have a problem with Robin as a 12-year old. If you're going to update the Batman & Robin mythos, they should have made Robin OLDER, not younger. Having a very young boy as a sidekick could fly in the innocent days of 1940, but it's just downright creepy in 2005. Michael Jackson-esque scenarios aside, the thought of putting a 12-year old in harm's way like that also raises numerous ethical problems and legal liability issues.

[Chi Bamm]

Are you kidding me? Did you and I read the same story, BK??? Why would an assassin kill the Graysons in public like that when he could easily have done it after the show, in the dead of night? Is Gotham really so lawless that the cops, crooked or not, can batter a beautiful, well-known female journalist in front of a huge crowd of onlookers? How is it that Bruce can change into Bats, track down the assassin and stop him before he can get away?

 

 

Now that's why you're going to pick up the 2nd issue. To find out the how and why. You see the how and why pisses you off, right? But the how and why gets me excited it makes me want to read it.

And did you just want a rehash of Miller's older works? NO we don't. We want NEW Miller. And you say all this stuff is unrealistic, but it's a comic book man, a comic book. Good story and good art. Well worth the wait by far. I wish more people would come out and say how they love the book. I mean you act like you bought a car and brought home to realize it doesn't work. It's a 3 DOLLAR COMIC. It's got FRANK MILLER and JIM LEE.

 

Also I'm tired of all the OLD GUYS, yes you old guys who've been reading comics for decades. I'm sorry I'm only 22 and not reading them for so long, it's totally my fault. But can you stop bashing the artists of our generation, and show some appreciation. If it's a new style, you hate it. If someone looks like someone elses' art, oh they just copy their stuff. Stop it. Your too old to bicker, just enjoy the comic books, JEEZ!!

[Fan4Fan]

Are you kidding me? Did you and I read the same story, BK??? Why would an assassin kill the Graysons in public like that when he could easily have done it after the show, in the dead of night? Is Gotham really so lawless that the cops, crooked or not, can batter a beautiful, well-known female journalist in front of a huge crowd of onlookers? How is it that Bruce can change into Bats, track down the assassin and stop him before he can get away?

 

 

Now that's why you're going to pick up the 2nd issue. To find out the how and why. You see the how and why pisses you off, right? But the how and why gets me excited it makes me want to read it.

And did you just want a rehash of Miller's older works? NO we don't. We want NEW Miller. And you say all this stuff is unrealistic, but it's a comic book man, a comic book. Good story and good art. Well worth the wait by far. I wish more people would come out and say how they love the book. I mean you act like you bought a car and brought home to realize it doesn't work. It's a 3 DOLLAR COMIC. It's got FRANK MILLER and JIM LEE.

 

Also I'm tired of all the OLD GUYS, yes you old guys who've been reading comics for decades. I'm sorry I'm only 22 and not reading them for so long, it's totally my fault. But can you stop bashing the artists of our generation, and show some appreciation. If it's a new style, you hate it. If someone looks like someone elses' art, oh they just copy their stuff. Stop it. Your too old to bicker, just enjoy the comic books, JEEZ!!

 

I didn't pick up the the 9-CENT Fantastic Four edition because I thought it stunk.

 

3 DOLLARS... whoa!

[Hobgoblin]

Are you kidding me? Did you and I read the same story, BK??? Why would an assassin kill the Graysons in public like that when he could easily have done it after the show, in the dead of night? Is Gotham really so lawless that the cops, crooked or not, can batter a beautiful, well-known female journalist in front of a huge crowd of onlookers? How is it that Bruce can change into Bats, track down the assassin and stop him before he can get away?

 

 

Now that's why you're going to pick up the 2nd issue. To find out the how and why. You see the how and why pisses you off, right? But the how and why gets me excited it makes me want to read it.

And did you just want a rehash of Miller's older works? NO we don't. We want NEW Miller. And you say all this stuff is unrealistic, but it's a comic book man, a comic book. Good story and good art. Well worth the wait by far. I wish more people would come out and say how they love the book. I mean you act like you bought a car and brought home to realize it doesn't work. It's a 3 DOLLAR COMIC. It's got FRANK MILLER and JIM LEE.

 

Also I'm tired of all the OLD GUYS, yes you old guys who've been reading comics for decades. I'm sorry I'm only 22 and not reading them for so long, it's totally my fault. But can you stop bashing the artists of our generation, and show some appreciation. If it's a new style, you hate it. If someone looks like someone elses' art, oh they just copy their stuff. Stop it. Your too old to bicker, just enjoy the comic books, JEEZ!!

 

CB, you are right. There are a lot of people on these boards who do not like modern comics and thrive on the stories of the Silver Age. I'm with you. Younger, don't know much about the silver age, and enjoy the new things happening in the comics world, like the disbanding of the Avengers. I too am all over AS B&R because it's a new start. I can start reading a Batman comic from about square one, without worrying about what happened in Batman #1-600.

[Chi Bamm]

You nailed it on the head. We are looking for fresh stories, why do you think when we were like 12 and 13 we all went and bought X-men 1 and Youngbloods and Wildcats, because it was new. We heard the older guys buying Uncanny X-men 1 and FF1 off the shelves, and look at them today. We just want that same experience, we were there when it came out, the first day. And now look at it

[Kevin76]

I'll go pick this up tomorrow,I certainly hope it's all splash page after another That'll be cool since I'm a Jim Lee Fan.Maybe i'll even read it