So I toured the CGC facilities on Monday...

[lighthouse]

And I will update this post when I get back from running some errands...

 

First update (though really more of a teaser than an update):

 

Yes, this will be one of those long and rambling "travels with lighthouse" posts...

 

Yes, there will be at least two references to strippers...

 

Yes, I will reveal the nature of the torture devices used to keep pre-graders in line...

 

Yes, exactly half of the post will be true...

 

Yes, I will explain why CGC had to redecorate the lobby after I arrived...

 

Yes, I will describe the "special treatment" that "big-time submitters" like me get... And no, greggy, I did not say "big-time submissives"

 

Yes, I will reveal as many secrets as I can get to before the CGC police arrive...

 

 

FIRST PART POSTED BELOW ----- About 15 replies down...

SECOND PART POSTED BELOW ----- About 35 replies down...

[deathlok]

(...shortly thereafter the CGC mafia kidnapped Lighthouse at the local Right Aid and he was never heard from again.)

[thedude]

[Timulty]

This just in, CGC mafia has demanded ransom for lighthouse. One copy of Boy Comics 17 in 9.0 unrestored condition and one Journey Into Mystery 92 9.2 unrestored. Their message to the media was "No, more missed resto, no more......"

[Ringfinger]

Now, that's good!!

[chromium]

And I will update this post when I get back from running some errands...

 

I'd better be long, detailed and have at least 2 of the following anecdotes.

 

a) You met a stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold

 

b) Something happened to the car you rented during the roadtrip from hell

 

c) You got arrested, but the cop was a comics-collector and you guys just geeked out at the police station

 

d) Feverish mouth infections

 

e) Crazy Charlie not recognizing you

 

[drice6900]

And I will update this post when I get back from running some errands...

 

I'd better be long, detailed and have at least 2 of the following anecdotes.

 

a) You met a stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold

 

b) Something happened to the car you rented during the roadtrip from hell

 

c) You got arrested, but the cop was a comics-collector and you guys just geeked out at the police station

 

d) Feverish mouth infections

 

e) Crazy Charlie not recognizing you

 

 

Don't forget the Goth Chick working as the receptionist at CGC!

[kahml]

(...shortly thereafter the CGC mafia kidnapped Lighthouse at the local Right Aid and he was never heard from again.)

 

That had better not be the case. I'm waiting (patiently ) for DC Archives - Green Lantern v1....

 

 

Larry

[chromium]

Don't forget the Goth Chick working as the receptionist at CGC!

 

 

 

[drice6900]

Don't forget the Goth Chick working as the receptionist at CGC!

 

 

 

 

[Ringfinger]

For real?

[THE_BEYONDER]

c) You got arrested, but the cop was a comics-collector and you guys just geeked out at the police station

 

 

[lighthouse]

Now I have to make the story as good as chromium's pic...

 

First teaser update posted... full post tonight...

[greggy]

Now I have to make the story as good as chromium's pic...

 

First teaser update posted... full post tonight...

Did you kick Paul in the nuts?

[arexcrooke]

Now I have to make the story as good as chromium's pic...

 

First teaser update posted... full post tonight...

Did you kick Paul in the nuts?

Did Paul kick you in the nuts

[greggy]

Now I have to make the story as good as chromium's pic...

 

First teaser update posted... full post tonight...

Did you kick Paul in the nuts?

Did Paul kick you in the nuts

Are you still involved in "teabagging"?

[ninanina]

...is it true what they did to kermit?

[arexcrooke]

Now I have to make the story as good as chromium's pic...

 

First teaser update posted... full post tonight...

Did you kick Paul in the nuts?

Did Paul kick you in the nuts

Are you still involved in "teabagging"?

no, but i heard you got your redwings the other night

[ArAich]

Who's LightHouse???...

[lighthouse]

Travels With Lighthouse - Part 16

 

Background: About a month ago, I closed a deal for an Original Owner collection. Roughly 6,000 books from 1972 to March 1986. Almost all Marvels. Mostly mainstream titles. Mostly in full runs. Mostly in high grade, especially from 1974 on... After lengthy conversations with my partner on the deal, and a tremendous amount of pages of GPA printouts, I determined break-even pre-screen grades for every issue. Two weeks of my own pre-screens followed... That completed, it came time to start packing books to ship to Sarasota. Less than an hour into the process, I decided it was both cheaper and easier to load the 700 books in the car and just drive them to Florida myself. It's only 1250 miles each way...

 

Be warned...

 

What follows is lengthy... and only somewhat funny... probably not nearly as funny to you as it is to me, especially if you are sober... exactly half of what is written here is true, and the parts which are not true are inspired by reality... or inspired by a lack of sleep...

 

 

[*] When you know you have a 1200 mile drive ahead of you, and only 27 hours to complete it, it's not a good idea to sit for 3 hours watching tv...

 

[*] Especially when it's the second season of Sopranos, and it's available On-Demand the whole freaking month...

 

[*] Planning your route in advance is a good idea.

 

[*] Missing your first highway interchange because you are having phone sex with your high school girlfriend and having to backtrack 13 miles is not a good idea.

 

[*] Remembering to pack enough clothes is a good idea.

 

[*] Forgetting to pack deodorant is not a good idea.

 

[*] Arranging your departure time to arrive in Houston at 8pm on Saturday is a good idea.

 

[*] Arriving in Houston at 8pm on Saturday when they are starting construction on the I-10 / I-45 interchange is a bad idea.

 

[*] Sleeping in a rest area the first night of a long drive is a lot cheaper than staying at a motel.

 

[*] Waking up at 3am to the sound of someone vomiting on the pavement next to you is not nearly as cool as it sounds.

 

[*] Even without a road sign, you can easily tell when you have crossed the Louisiana border on I-10. The road quality deteriorates so dramatically in the first 100 yards that any sleeping passengers will wake up screaming in the back seat.

 

[*] Not noticing that a homeless man crawled into your backseat at the last rest stop can make for an exciting morning.

 

[*] If the state of Louisiana owned all the casinos within its borders, it would have plenty of money to repair all of Katrina's damage in less than a year.

 

[*] But they would still pocket the money instead.

 

[*] There is a 2-hour weekly radio program on AM 870 in New Orleans devoted entirely to discussing area restaurants... which ones have reopened, which are still closed, where to go for brunch on Sunday, which restaurants have the best crawfish, which owners are still waiting on FEMA...

 

[*] That program is followed by two straight hours of callers complaining about the Saints.

 

[*] For a 250 mile stretch of I-10, there is not a single McDonald's with arches intact. Every single one of them has pieces missing from hurricane damage.

 

[*] Only a third of those McDonald's have roadkill specials.

 

[*] Of the 19 convenience stores where I stopped on the trip, all 19 had French Onion flavored Sun Chips. Two also had Harvest Cheddar. The others had just the one flavor, and not a single one had "regular" flavor Sun Chips.

 

[*] Only one of the 19 looked surprised when I asked them if they had any gay squirrel porn.

 

[*] Hurricane damage to the forests along the Gulf Coast was at least as bad as I expected. Smaller vortexes were evident in many places, with the equivalent of giant crop circles (60 foot tall trees laying in circles 100 yards across)

 

[*] None of the hitchhikers I stopped for seemed to know whether it was legal to pick up felled trees for firewood.

 

[*] I counted 67... that's right 67 separate billboards on I-10 / I-12 in Louisiana asking residents not to leave. Sixty-seven billboards. Some were sponsored by major employers, some by ad agencies, some by the state itself... 67...

 

[*] I lost count around 230 separate billboards advertising casinos...

 

[*] According to the radio broadcasts, a typical fast food job now has a $500 signing bonus in the affected areas. Home Depot was tossing around a $1000 figure. Some billboards referred to even bigger bonuses than that.

 

[*] None of the strippers I saw had received a bonus...

 

[*] The "4 oz" package of beef jerky (so common in convenience stores) is suffering from the same syndrome as the "1 lb" coffee can... I noted packages in 4 oz, 3.75 oz, 3.65 oz, 3.55 oz, and 3.5 oz sizes... all at the traditional $5.99 sticker price...

 

[*] It's still possible to slice open two packages and dump the contents into a third, getting 12 oz of jerky for the price of 4.

 

[*] If you call Paul Litch on his cell phone and ask him when he last graded gay squirrel porn (before introducing yourself or even saying hello) he'll know it's lighthouse calling.

 

[*] If you ask him to explain the grading of the Mile High Boy Comics 17 in 10 words or less, he will change the subject back to gay squirrel porn... (but only after a lengthy description of the 17s condition)

 

[*] Just after you turn south onto I-75, you will start seeing signs for "Exit 374 - We Bare All!"

 

[*] Painting "Go Tennessee" on the side of your car is an easy way to attract attention on I-75.

 

[*] Painting it on the side of someone else's car works even better.

 

[*] At Exit 374 they apparently also have free showers for Truckers.

 

[*] If you ask Newt Samson for directions to the CGC facility, he sends you an aerial photo of Sarasota and suggests you parachute onto the roof.

 

[*] If you ask customer service for directions, they chide you for not having an appointment and tell you they won't let you in, since they weren't notified in advance of your arrival.

 

[*] If you inform them that Steve Borock knew of your arrival days ago, they will tell you that they should chew Steve out for not telling them, but since he is their boss (and they live in fear of his wrath) they won't.

 

[*] Laughing maniacally at them at this point in the phone call only makes it harder to hear the directions they are giving.

 

[*] The toll-free number for CGC does not work if you are near Sarasota. If you are not expecting this, and are calling from a cell phone, and do not have a CGC employee's business card handy, it might be a little disconcerting.

 

[*] Finding Gemma's card in your wallet when you discover the toll-free number is inoperative is almost as good as getting 12oz of jerky for the price of 4.

 

[*] The CGC parking lot is rather non-descript. They were only six Bentleys, five Rolls, a handful of Jags, and a row of Escalades.

 

[*] Those cars were all parked in the "NGC" spaces, right next to the building.

 

[*] A half-mile up the road you'll find a park-and-ride lot where the CGC graders are forced to park. I counted 3 Yugos, a couple Daihatsus, two Hyundais, a yellow Pacer, and what looked suspiciously like an Adobe, along with a bike rack chock full of old Schwinns.

 

[*] There are 3 "visitor" spaces right by the front door of the CGC facility. I parked in the one marked "BSD's only!"

 

[*] The front door is always locked. Next to it is a call box with the explicit instructions to not hold the button while speaking. Next to that is an IdentiVis 5700 series palm reader and a facial recognition camera complete with retina scan.

 

[*] After speaking my name (without holding the button), I was buzzed into a room about 4 foot square. The room contained 11 security cameras and I noticed the outline of a trap door in the floor under my feet.

 

[*] Once the outer door was closed, I heard the telltale "buzz-click" of an X-Ray machine, then the door to my left clicked open.

 

[*] I found myself in the waiting room of a dentist's office... After a moment, the milky glass panel slid aside and I was instructed to sit... Given that I had been sitting for 1200+ miles, that was hardly first on my list of things to do.

 

[*] The waiting room featured a water cooler, a couch, a coffee table, a small writing desk, and several pieces of framed artwork on the walls. Every single piece was of a coin. Images of Walking Liberty Halves. Images of Buffalo Nickels (both obverse and reverse). Images of Standing Liberty Halves... Not a single comic item in sight... On the table were eleven trade publications, every one of them coin-related.

 

[*] After ten minutes or so, a coinee was buzzed through the outer two doors, and walked through to sit in one of the small waiting offices next to the waiting room. I had been told by the customer service person on the phone that these were the only two "drop-off" rooms in the facility, and part of the reason why you had to have an appointment was that if both rooms were in use, no one would be allowed in.

 

[*] After another couple of minutes, Scott (the customer service guy that I have dealt with almost exclusively) came to greet me. We went outside and I pulled my car around to the loading dock door (where I was eyed suspiciously by three guards armed with automatic weapons). Scott wheeled my books around to the waiting room and let me back inside.

 

[*] Ten days before I was to leave, I realized I did not have enough submission forms. I called to order more, but they had not arrived by the time I was to leave. So I had a couple hundred books with no forms filled out. Scott assisted me with about 40 of the books, then started the receiving process on the rest while I finished filling out the last several forms.

 

[*] When I was down to the last few, Steve Borock came out to the waiting area with his two most recent hires from the recruiting pool that is this board......

 

 

-----much more to follow, but must sleep now... will update tomorrow------