Great story and a wonderful wife.
On the wife gift giving front, it was many years before my wife and I could get on the same page. I hate getting gifts that I don't want especially when they come from my family, i.e, out of our joint checking account. It's just a waste and makes me sad not glad.
So, how did we fix it?
Well, one of the things that made a huge difference is that I started making a list and keeping it up to date. It has books, commission possibilities, even specific pieces of art that I'd like.
Food for thought.
P.S. I get that I'm an ungrateful lout.