Dear Mr. Ditko,
I never thought that I would be writing this, but sometimes, life can get pretty crazy. I’m a 51-year-old guy, and I’m pretty well built, muscular but not ripped. Last spring break, me and my friends took a trip to Lake Havasu. At a drinking contest on the beach one day, I met a girl named Kimmi, and she was gorgeous – blond, tan, possessing breasts and attractive legs. Well, one thing led to another and we found ourselves back in her hotel room, going at it pretty hot and heavy. She taught me things I’d never even thought of, and the sex was incredible. Kimmi was a very experienced girl. So experienced that my doctor says I have a heretofore-undiscovered strain of chlamydia (picture enclosed).
Yours Truly,
01TheDude