That's the funniest I've heard so far this week!
I've got some clown, with 11,000+ positive feedback no less, trying to return a $15 book because I allegedly didn't disclose water damage. Never mind that I extensively wrote about the wavy appearance, water stain, and feel of the book all indicating moisture exposure. I've messaged and reported the buyer's falsehood, but I'm sure I'm going to lose in the end, so stay tuned to the blocked user list thread.
Anyway, back on the original point -- do what I do RMA: Pray. And hope. Hope your buyer is on the level. Also, maybe donate a few bills to your favorite charity for some additional karma points.