Joanna

I don't know either of the players in this drama but I did spend a couple of years as a powerseller on ebay and took great pride in my packaging. In thousands of transactions, I never once had a return or a request for a refund. Not once. One of the reasons was because I packaged to survive whatever could possibly happen short of explosives. It cost me more, especially since I never charged handling, only cost of shipping, but I didn't want unsatisfied customers. Ghastly, you made a mistake. That's the bottom line. It's not unheard of for a person to make an error. You didn't pack the box to insure the safe arrival of the books, plain and simple. Pay restitution, learn from your mistake, and invest in better packing materials. That's the smart way to end this. You gambled a lot of money on bad packaging and are now trying to make your customer pay the price for your wager. You messed up. Give the refund and get your name off the list. -- Joanna

Glad you enjoyed it.

Previously, in Issue 12, Part 3E... Just then, a large, swirling, whooshing, breast-like portal opens up in the room. "Ooh! That tickles!" laughs the disembodied voice. Morty rushes in, and stops cold. "That is not supposed to be there." Madeleine looks at her guests, at the portal, then back at her guests. Everyone is staring at the portal. Quickly, she removes her blouse, and stands in front of it, her magnificent breasts thrust forward. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to choose. You can stare at that ridiculous swirling thing, or you may fondle these. Keep in mind that I have two to its one. Now which will it be?" Issue 12, Part 4E: To Swirl or Not To Swirl? Appearing in this issue: Lord Rawl (Lord Rahl) The corpse of Dr. Gloom (Joe Collector) A disembodied voice Prof. Nefarious (Bronty) Assoc. Prof. Heinous (AlexH) Morty, the robed figure (Deathlok) Second Guy (Ares) Lord of Time Stream Minute Guy (DiceX) Lord of Time Stream Hour Guy (PedgreeMan) Lord of Time Stream Day Guy (hobbes) Lord of Time Stream Year Guy (justiceleaguefiend) Lord of Time Stream Decade Guy (Chrisfuccione) Lord of Time Stream Century Guy (sfilosa) Lord of Time Stream Millennium Guy (blowout) Lord of Time Stream And Introducing Fazybones as the mysterious innkeeper named Madeleine (Didn't know you could end up in the story at a whim, didja, Fazy?) Lord Rawl, Prof. Nefarious, Assoc. Prof. Heinous and Morty stare transfixed at the sight of the lusciously semi-nude Madeleine. "I notice, mysterious robed stranger, that you are as transfixed as we," says Prof. Nefarious. "I did not realize a man in your... condition would be interested." "Are you insane? Look at them! They're mythic!" Morty gasps, a single bone in his skeletal figure taking center stage in his mind. "Even the deceased Dr. Gloom is looking," says Heiny. Everyone glances to the left and sees the corpse of Dr. Gloom, still quite irrevocably dead, peeking in the front door. "Oops, I... uh... was supposed to dispose of that," says Morty, sheepishly. He doesn't move. Madeleine is not amused. "Yes, you were. These tumescent beauties are for the living only." She thrusts out her chest even more in an effort to recapture the attention in the room. She succeeds. "I think the swirly thing is beginning to fade," says Lord Rawl, not actually caring. "Yes. I do believe it is, yes," says Prof. Nefarious. "A shame, that." "Indeed," says Heiny, reaching slowly toward the Nirvana that would be touching an actual, real live woman in a womanly area that he had, until this moment, only seen penciled, inked and colored. Paper, he decided, was a poor substitute for heaving flesh. "Ungh." "Are you okay, chum?" asks Nefarious, completely indifferent to the answer. "It occurs to me that the swirly thing might be the way out of this reality," says Lord Rawl. "Who cares?" replies every male in the room, including the late Dr. Gloom. Madeleine licks her lips slowly, undulating just enough to add a little jiggle to the floor show. "You might as well disappear, portal. These boys are mine." Just then, a figure steps from out of the portal. He is behind Madeleine and sees only the slavish, drooling faces of the males. "What in Ganthor's Midlife Crisis is going on here? Everyone else manages to figure out what the swirly thing is. Are you guys insufficiently_thoughtful_persons, or..." Century Guy sees the naked back of Madeleine and slowly leans far enough forward to see past her shoulder. "Ungh." "Exactly what I said, portal person," says Heiny. Century guy, moving at centennial speed, slowly reaches his hands around. Or at least, that's his intention. Frankly, centennial speed means his hands have moved maybe a micronanometer, if such a measurement exists. From the portal appear Second Guy, Minute Guy, and Hour Guy. "What's the hold-up?" asks Second Guy. "No need to crowd," says Madeleine, bored. "Gaze at my beauty, yadda yadda, just remember that reaching is fine, touching only if your hands are clean and you denounce the portal. Oh, and Centennial Guy? Let's just I'm interested. Second Guy – not so much." Soon, the entire remaining entourage from the Center of Time push their way through the portal and into the room. Millennium Guy clears his throat in an attempt to rein in the chaotic jumble of male bodies, all of whom stare unwavering at Madeleine, mumbling words of love, lust, praise, and pornography. "Ahem. People! People! Settle down now. This is getting ugly." "Except me," says Madeleine. "Yes, except you. Anyway, I want everyone to walk into the portal in an orderly fashion. I've set the dial on the beginning of time, which is, as I recall, your destination. Time Lords, you can head back to HQ. Madeleine, I'll stay here and guard your breasts. Okay, everybody in." "No!" says Madeleine. "I have plans for these men. I've got cake and scotch and a large bed and more girly bits you haven't even seen yet. They're worth the wait, too." "You told me you were going to kill—" says Morty. "Be quiet, you idjit!" hisses Madeleine. "They're not quite zombified." "Zombified? I will never subject myself to such a process," says Lord Rawl. "As ruler of the 17th dimension, master of the xathosphere, I protest even the thought that I can be...uh... er... mmmmm... neeed brains..." "Ew," says Morty. "Not that kind of zombie. A sex zombie." "Need breasts..." At that moment, Second Guy rips off his clothes and shouts, "I can't stand it! She's mine, you hear me? All mine!" He begins tossing villains, skeletal figures and Time Lords into the Swirly Portal. "Not me – I'm Canadian!" shouts Heiny, but he is pushed into the portal without so much as a "Sorry, eh?" Within seconds, Madeleine and Second Guy are alone. "So, baby, what say we take a second to get acquainted." "Nertz to you!" she says and leaps into the fading portal. Alone with only Dr. Gloom's corpse and the disembodied voice, Second Guy jumps in the portal as it shimmers out of existence. [To Be Continued]

Phew! Finally finished reading it. Apparently, everyone (well, nearly everyone) has jumped into the swirly breast-shaped portals and is on their way to the beginning of time. I'll check my records and see what's due to be next and write 'er up. Yes, I hereby promise another Crisis post in the soon near almost here future. -- Joanna

Perhaps he tries to smoke the crack in your slab.

Not sure, greggy, but he may be cleaned, pressed, trimmed, disassembled, and sent to a shady dealer in Oregon. Not saying it will happen, just that it's best you keep the scans of Mylite's before pictures.

um... yeah, I was foiling and stuff. I'm still trying to get through this thing. I'm on page 54. Unbelievable how huge this is.

Bwa ha ha ha ha! I forgot that Hammer threw a major hissy fit in this thread! Sooo glad I decided to read this thread instead of the other one. -- Joanna

Okay, I'm reading it from the beginning so I can remember what the heck happened. The weird part is that I wasn't on drugs for any it.

This thread sure is fun. Wish it had been there when I used to post on this board regularly. I used to be a major WW/Sensation collector but had to sell off my books a few years ago. Heartbreaking. I had a bunch that I've seen here (and a couple of the scans on this thread looked a lot like books I sold so some of you may have bought my books on ebay) and a couple I don't remember seeing pictured in this thread. I never cared much about condition. To me, it was all about the stories. I have a blog called "Comic Books Revisited" (link below) where I go tell the stories in detail, include some scans of panels and make cheeky comments, give information, etc. Right now I'm doing WW #25 (series one, of course). Drop by if you're interested. I still have a couple of books left from the big sell-off, inlcuding a book I had CGC'd that I could never get my price on. I'll probably just crack that slab so I can read the story again. I'd post some of the covers but the picture link doesn't appear to be working for me. Not sure why. -- Joanna

Bee! Huge tackling hug for you! HI Shawn -- thank you very much and I'm overjoyed that you liked it. Yes, I've written several books. Click on my website link below and you can see some sample pages from each of them, as well as finding a link to Amazon (I make a few dimes if people click those links and buy something at Amazon.) Due to this warm welcome from all of you and the enthusiasm for the story, I will be updating it. After all, I left everyone in terrible circumstances, not to mention the world was about to end. Very mean of me to just stop. -- Joanna

Donut!!! All we need now is Pov, if he's still around. (okay, there are a lot more names than Pov, but I can't help loving that wacky kid). plitch - it is entirely possible that I'll write a new chapter for this tale of mayhem and injokes. I've been working on getting my blogs going and comics are playing a key role in both. Made me nostalgic for this place. I haven't read any new comics in years and I sold most of my oldies, but I still have a few left. On my Comic Books Revisited site I'm doing write-ups on some of the books, like I posted here years ago. Right now it's a GA Wonder Woman story, but I'm planning to do lots of different characters in different eras. I always had fun writing those up so why not devote some time to it? However, there should still be a little room in my schedule for a wee bit of crisis, I ken. -- Joanna

Hiya plitch! Great to see you, too. Hanging out in this old thread, watching greggy and Khaos bicker, seeing smilies in every post -- it's all so comfortable and familiar. -- Joanna

Thanks for the warm welcome home, guys. It's good to see all of you, as well. Hugs, kisses, lots of mushy stuff that females are allowed to do and guys secretly like as well. -- Joanna

Hey Chrom - great to see you, too!

Hi Greggy. Miss me?

Yup, there's a thread where only the story is posted. Unfortunately, my watched threads got wiped out, so I don't have it marked anymore. It's nice to know some of you are still interested in this thread. Whodathunkit? -- Joanna

As a certified DC fan, I have to say that is just amazing. All those gorgeous strange and familiar covers, and all the stories within... man, that is just so cool. Beautiful. -- Joanna

And my great "How You Can Defend Your Home" + stalking joke Am I in some sort of weird warp thing? I can still see both Ian's scan and Chrom's comment in this thread. Why am I the only one? Or are you two wringing your hands and rending your clothing without having actually looked? Geez, women have to do everything. Men are so helpless! -- Joanna

This is wonderful news, Ian. Absolutely fantastic!!! I haven't read this thread yet, so I fear what's to come, but I wanted to be sure to congratulate you. It really is a remarkable achievement. -- Joanna

Hi, 'House and Beyonder. Sorry that the updates aren't very regular any more. I'm busy writing a novel, so when I have the time to write fiction, that's what I need to focus on. Perhaps when I finish I can go back to this. For now, I need to keep myself afloat. I do appreciate the kind words, though! -- Joanna

All this talk of greatest threads usually drives me nuts. Why? Because I remember copying the famous Hammer Bag of Money post into a word document, but I could never figure out what I named it, or where I put it. Well tonight, as I read this thread, I finally figured it out! He wasn't Hammer back then, he was Meth! It was a pre-Hammer post and once I figured that out, I found the word doc. (called "The Bash Meth thread" -- only it just had this post in it. I guess I meant to copy others, but never did). So here, in it's original, pristine glory, is the very first golden mention of the bag containing 50 large! And Hammer/Meth, if you're reading along, I have to hand it to you -- this was one heck of a dramatic, over-the-top, glorious post. To set it up for those of you who weren't around in 2002, or whenever he posted this, here's the set-up. Meth (Hammer/Comic Keys/Dupcak/and a dozen other aliases) and Supapimp were both going at it verbally, insulting and posturing and threatening each other. After a series of these posts, Meth posted the beauty below. (and please excuse my resurrection of all these insults, Supa. This is for historical purposes only). "My God Super-Wimp, You're telling me that I'm AFRAID to see YOU on the street. Because I'd last two seconds in your presence. You actually believe that bigger = slower BS? What are you going to hit me with, your powder puff? Let's talk Martial Arts Wimp. Something else you know NOTHING about. Because you've seen VanDamm movies, you think it works that way in real life? Here's a money making opportunity for you Wimp. You fly to me TONIGHT, book a flight RIGHT NOW. We'll get together in the afternoon at Stillman's gym right under the Brooklyn Bridge (I'll send a limo to the airport for you) where we can test your theories. I'm sure that everyone here would love it just as much as you, the fantasy of knocking me on my [#@$%!!!]. Wouldn't you like to be everyone's hero Wimp, instead of the Chump. I'll come with $50,000 CASH. 5 packets of black wrapper stacks. I'll put the money in a shaving kit bag (I just checked and it fits beautifully with plenty of room to spare). I will hold this in my hand. If you can take it, it's YOURS. Here's the drawback, I won't just be standing there like in the movies. Whadda' ya say Wimp? A shot at $50K in exchange for a few compound fractures. And it'll be a martial arts/boxing/wrestling gym with 3 rings set up so we'll be able to really go at it. At least you'll have the respect of your peers instead of being a mere curiosity." So there you have it, gents! The infamous bag of money post. It became legend almost instantly. -- Joanna

From the "Shirley Rhine" collection. Boy, was she in lover with her name.

Superman 133

Adam, I've posted the review of the first story in Wonder Woman #25 for your (and anyone else's) reading pleasure. There aren't a lot of panels in this one. I got more ambitious with later reviews. -- Joanna