Joanna

What other thread is that? I haven't read much today. Besides, Helga is banned from all but the WC. She's useless.

If you want to just read the story, without comments, there's a trade paperback edition.

I do now. I didn't in the beginning because I didn't realize it would be a problem. But when some members decided that the fictional characters might reflect poorly on them, they got angry. I don't want anyone in the story who doesn't want to be there. So if someone wants out or in, just ask. -- Joanna

You're with the N'Superables in 30's Chicago in the Detective Comic. Am I still dead? Wait.. I'm undead... am I still undead? You are dead, but currently alive because you slipped into the timestream when you were still alive, prior to your death. I believe you are with the JBH at the betginning of time, so your segment is coming up next. -- Joanna

You're with the N'Superables in 30's Chicago in the Detective Comic.

Coming up next. Here's the order: Solar Powers in the land of Dinosaurs (Dinosaur Comic) Hostess Horde in Neanderthals (Romance Comic) N'Superables in 30's Chicago (Detective Comic) Hero Squadron in WWII (War Comic) Marvelous Four in Tombstone (Western Comic) The Villains in the boarding house (Pre-code horror comic) The Bad Brigade in jail (Funny Animal Comic) The JBH at the beginning of time (the actual storyline we're supposed to be following) There's also the Time Masters, who are watching all of this. I should get back to them at some point, now that I think of it. Anyway, since we just had the Bad Brigade and the Funny Animals, next is the JBH at the beginning of time. -- Joanna

Okee doke, you're on the list. I don't know when I'll be adding you guys; it depends on when I need new characters in the story. But you'll all show up at some point.

Greggy, you're already in it twice. Once as Mylite and once as one of your shill names as part of the blob.

Okay, I've got Fantasyfootballbono and Puny Human in. You want to be in, Deathlok? Just agree to give up all rights to human dignity and you're on the list (i.e. read the note I wrote to FFB and if that sounds cool, I'll happily add you). -- Joanna

One what?

That is just the kind of attitude that will get you a spot in Crisis! Welcome aboard!

Read my note above, and if that sounds okay, then I'll happily put you in the story.

I can't guarantee anything because once you become a character, I write the character, not the person behind it. I don't even remember who most of the characters are 'based on' (i.e. whose name they're associated with). And because I don't want any trouble (I've had plenty in the past), I'd prefer to get volunteers who'll take whatever happens.

You want to be in it? Let me know.

Bingo! Trimmer was the first to die and the first to be retconned out of oblivion.

Arch Hmmm.... Bugaboo - Coinee JC - Dr Gloom Khaos - KostumeKween Nope. Actually the answer to #1 and #2 is the same. (You got #3 correct). -- Joanna

Just out of the oven. Careful.

To catch up on what happened before with this group, go here. Issue 12, Part 2G: Not So Funny Now, Are Ya? Appearing in this issue: Negative Lad (Murpho) can affect self-esteem Larry Von Dork (Werner Von Doom) evil scientist Fission (Rob_React) Atomic powers Pyro (Blazingbob) Pyro powers Ki-Zar (Comicwiz/dadaist) Killer lizard Origami (Kevthemev) power over paper Runt (BigMan) Shrinking power Squatter (Lantern) knee laser beams Issue 12, Part 2G: Not So Funny Now, Are Ya? The Bad Brigade is jailed in the land of Funny Animals. Their prison is a cheerful place, with gigantic strong bars, and tilted architecture. They all wear black and white striped jumpsuits and have large iron balls chained to their ankles. Squatter carefully lines his sights on ten folded-paper bowling pins, courtesy of Origami. He aims, and rolls the ball. As soon as the chain plays out, he is violently pulled behind the ball. His body helps to make it a strike. "Bowling. Too many lives are lost to this sport every year," says Runt, watching the action. Squatter is still unconscious, having clonked himself on the head with his own ball and chain. Slowly, he comes to. "Did I get the strike?" "Yeah," says Fission, writing down the score. "You're up, Ki-Zar." Ki-Zar walks over to the paper pins, flicks out his lizard tongue and eats all the pins. "I win." "No fair!" says Squatter, woozily sitting up. "Check the rule book," Ki-Zar says with a belch. "Zar is right. It's on page 32," says Fission, holding up the penciled rulebook that Ki-Zar had presented to them at the start of the game. "I think I have a plan to break out of here!" says Larry Von Doom, studying the oversized bars. "Break out? Duh!" says Negative Lad. "Let's see... Fission could blast us out, Pyro could burn us out, Ki-Zar could muscle us out, and Squatter could laser us out. Runt can just walk out cuz he fits through the bars. It's not about breaking out. Didn't you hear Pyro's plan?" Larry shuffles his feet in embarrassment. "I was on the can." "To summarize," says Pyro, joining the conversation. "We need to wait until another prisoner is incarcerated. At that time, we can cross over into his reality and begin to make our way back to superhero comics." "What if no one else gets jailed?" "Impossible. There's always someone causing trouble." "What if he's not from a different continuity? What if it's that freaking monkey that has the hots for Origami?" "You are so gonna get folded, spindled, and mutilated for that!" says Origami, tossing away the single, poop-covered rose he had received from the monkey. "You and what army?" "Hey youse! What's da racket in here?" says the cigar-chomping raccoon guarding their cell. The others join in the hub-bub until there's a deafening din. The noise apparently alerts others and soon the bazooka-wielding teddy bear with the eye patch bursts into the room. "Quiet, freaks!" Everyone shushes. "Man, I hate dealing with fleshies," he mumbles to the raccoon. "Nertz to dem all." "All right," says the bear. "One more peep out of you and we start rigging anvils to fall on your heads. And if that doesn't work, we have a variety of bank safes, and large blocks with their weight written on the side. So I don't want any more fighting in here!" "Excuse me, Mr. Bear, sir," says Larry. "We were wondering if anyone else was due to be incarcerated soon." "Next Tuesday, we have an entire gang of western outlaws, some detectives, a pair of young lovers, and a bunch of superheroes due in town. I'm sure there'll be troublemakers in the bunch." "Did you hear that?" says Larry, delighted. "We're saved!" The teddy bear laughs. "Too bad your execution is scheduled for Monday." The teddy bear turns to leave, but changes his mind. "Oh, and if any of you try to use your powers -- like in an escape attempt or something -- I think you should be aware that the rules of physics do not apply in our land. I would think twice before you try anything. One never knows what consequences a wrong action could bring." Angrily, Origami grabs a piece of paper to make a paper airplane, to throw at the bear. The moment he makes the first fold, a loud 'pop' is heard, there is a puff of smoke and where Origami stood is a pile of smoldering ash. "See what I mean?" says the bear. He laughs and leaves the Bad Brigade staring at the remains of their friend. "Nertz," whispers Runt, shaking in his tiny boots. To be continued...

Hmmm... as far as I know, I'm the only one in the world who owns Snowball 70. And those ashcans of Dr. Gloom #1 and Double Trimmer 2 -- they must be worth a fortune by now! Maybe I won't need money after all... Speaking of money, I had $100 stolen from my mail a few weeks ago. I called my bank, signed an affidavit and guess what -- the money is back in my account! The bank unstole it for me! Yeeha! That'll teach them lousy mail thieves, I tells ya. -- Joanna

I had a lot of fun writing the horror episode yesterday. That's one of my favorite storylines. Next is funny animal, and naturally, I have no idea what's going to happen (like I ever do). I'll try not to make the wait as long this time. You know, it means a lot to me that you guys are enjoying Crisis (even though Ian couldn't get through 5 lines of it without getting bored. ). Thanks for sticking with me! -- Joanna

What a roller coaster. I just heard from spy again (my best friend is in London, meeting with the publisher -- she's one of their authors as well -- and keeps giving me updates.) Apparently, the delay is not set and there could be a contract for me in the next month or two... or not. It's impossible to say right now. The good thing is that I now know I have to get busy on other projects, regardless. And it's good that I've gotten my query ready for the novel. That site you (Bruce) showed me looks really interesting for supplemental income. Get enough supplemental income and it becomes actual income. The London book fair is going on right now and she said our publisher appears to be "the Random House of England". She says it's huge. Little did we know. I do need to get with an American house, though. America pays so much better! -- Joanna

Having spent years as a professional voice actress, I could make the fanboys spin with just a few words. You know, awhile back, House and I were talking about my recording Crisis on CD and making sets available to the forum. A few years ago I had a business where I recorded people's original fiction, so that they could have their own audio books. Recorded tons of fanfic for people. I don't really want to go back to that (the bad writing ate my brain) but it was a successful business that grew from some 'out of the box' thinking. That's what I need to do now. Start brainstorming a bit. Last time I did this I ended up selling all my possessions on ebay. It's just another hurdle, so I'll figure something out, I'm sure. Hmm... $2.99 a minute... -- Joanna

What an interesting idea! I'll definitely look into that. I tend to take a lot of surveys as it is (and have been in more than one focus group) so that wouldn't be a problem for me. Your other suggestions were also quite good. I'm making a list of every possibility I can think of, and those are going on it. I'm not giving up, just trying to find a way to get through a rough patch. I'm going to send out a query for my novel next week (haven't finished it, but I can query without a completed manuscript) and then I can concentrate on short-term goals better. -- Joanna

seems the only way to stop this is... another installment Sorry, feeling too funky today. Just found out my latest book proposal has been back-burnered until September. Prior to today, it had looked like I was right next door to another contract and advance, so I wasn't panicking about dwindling funds. Now I'm not sure where I'm gonna find any bucks. Got to do some major thinking this weekend, and some massive hustling next week. Sometimes freelancing SUCKS! -- Joanna

No sports talk allowed in the Crisis thread.