Joanna

Issue 12, Part 3B: Minty Fresh Starring Emoticon (BachelorOfComix) can be any emoticon Rerun (Araich) TV in belly Alias (Bonds) can split into 12 Mylite (greggy) slabbed, irresistible Dirk Diamond (MinuteKev) Private Eye And introducting Shortie Spumoni (Puny Human) Gangster Issue 12, Part : Minty Fresh Mylite thumps his way to the newsstand, his eyes glued to the fresh pile of Action 1s lying on the counter. He wets himself. "Omigod, omigod, omigod." He ignores the stare of the proprietor as he gingerly picks up the first book. "9.0." He puts it aside and picks up another. "9.4." He continues to look through the pile. "8.5. 9.6. 9.4. 9.4. 9.8. 9.2. 9.4. 9.0..." The others arrive, and watch in awe as Mylite handles the sweet, sweet National Periodicals. "Wait, Mylite!" shouts Alias. "Leave me alone. 9.0. 9.2. Don't these freaks know how to handle new books? Half of these are worthless 9.0-9.2-9.4s." "No – your grading – it's all wrong!" "Shut up! I know what I'm doing. 9.4." "What I mean is, you aren't accounting for golden age bias!" Mylite begins to shake. A 9.6 almost slips through his fingers, but Emoticon gently removes it from his hands. "Golden age bias... do you know what this means?" Alias looks at Mylite, then at the others, then back to Mylite. "Sell it through Heritage and these are all freaking 11's?" "I'll call it the Mylite Pedigree. It fits the parameters. Bought off the newsstand, every major issue, single owner—" "Hold on, Buckaroo," says Rerun. "Every single issue? Since when? You've got one issue." "Do you have any more comics?" asks Mylite to the owner of the newsstand. He stares at the slabbed man. His eyes dart toward a pile of Detective Comics. "Sweeeeet!" says Alias. "9.4. 9.0. 9.6." Soon all of the N'Superables are carefully grading the cream of 1938's comic crop. "Ian would wet his pants," mumbles Emoticon. "You mean like Mylite did?" asks Alias. "You try living in a slab!" "No thanks." Alias splits into 12 people, causing the newsstand owner to faint. "I'm going to go look for some more newsstands. We are gonna be rich!" He sends his aliases in every direction. "We can't let anyone know. If anyone knew we had these, they'd lose their value. We have to make a plan," says Rerun. "A plan," says Mylite, "that includes traveling through time in every era, buying comics. Next stop, the Silver Age!" At that moment, Dirk Diamond catches up to the N'Superables. "You boys sure like to read." "No one is going to be reading anything!" snaps Mylite, his hands shaking at the thought of an inadvertently cracked spine. "So anyways, as I was saying back there, I think I found your swirly portal thing. It's weird, too, cuz when I first saw it, it looked more like a warped pane of glass. I was gonna chisel you guys out of a sawbuck for finding it. Thought it would be fun to see you trying to get through solid glass. But as I was chasing you mugs over here, I saw what you were describing. A swirly portal thing. You didn't tell me it looks just like a giant breast. I would've thought you'd remember that detail." Emoticon whips around. "A breast, you say? Where? Where?" "Finally, one of you ginks cares about the portal." "You mentioned a breast. Where is the breast? Can I see it? Can I touch it? Can I photograph it and call it my girlfriend?" "10!!" shouts Mylite. The others crowd around, Emoticon torn between seeing a perfect 10 copy of Action 1, and finding out about the breast. "It's beautiful..." says Alias. "Look at the colors..." says Rerun. "Just think if it were a Hulk 181?" says Emoticon, his mind not quite on the find as solidly as it should be. "Up wich yer hands, ya droppers!" says a strange voice. As one, the N'Superables turn to see a very short man with a gun. "Ya cants fool me! Yer part of Newsie Balboa's gang, aincha? Well, I'm gonna fog ya. Whacha think a that?" They all shrug. "Fog?" "He's gonna fill you with lead, you saps!" says Dirk. "He's one of Tony 'Big Balls' Provolone's gang." "Ya ain't gotta prayer! I never miss!" "He never misses," says Dirk. With Rerun unable to tune in, Emoticon unable to switch, and with all of Alias's aliases out searching for comics, Mylite knows it is up to him to save his team. But in his hand is a gem mint 10.0 copy of Action 1. Even the slightest move could 9.x it. A trickle of sweat forms on his temple as he weighs his next move. "Do something," whispers Alias as the small man raises his gun. "So, what's your name, good-looking?" says Mylite, turning on all of his charm while standing perfectly still. Usually he uses his super-powered body language to help boost his charm levels, but he dares not twitch even a single muscle. The small man hesitates. "Who, me?" "Of course you, handsome." "Oh... I, uh, I's Shortie Spumoni. I's a button man for Big Balls." "A button man, how fascinating." "It means he's a professional killer," says Dirk helpfully. Mylite swallows. The tiny drop of sweat, now fully formed, begins its slow journey down his face. First Emoticon, then Rerun, then Alias see the drop of sweat, and notice that it is directly above the Gem Mint 10.0 Action Comics 1. If it drops, the book is trashed. Seconds tick sluggish and hollow as they stare mesmerized at the inexorable pull of gravity. The drop travels down his cheek, inching ever closer to his jaw. "...of course, I've never actually met a button man before, but my admiration is genuine," says Mylite, unaware of the drama unfolding on the side of his face. "Love the pinstripes." "Yeah? Sears junior dept. I could show ya the shelf, if youse was innerested or sompin." "I'd love that." Without thinking, Mylite nods his approval. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" To be continued...

Issue 12, Part 3A: When When the Mood Hits with Goo, Planets Come From the Blue: That's Amoré! Starring Twinkie (Hogations) goo Snowball (The Beyonder) goo Ding Dong (Aman) goo Ho Ho (Ninanina) goo Fruit Pie (JLA All the Way) goo Cupcake (Doyle) goo Susie Q (Andrew Knight) goo Mercury (Dam60) flight, heat, speed Venus (CosmicBob) flight, love Earth (Ubiquiti) flight, power over dirt Mars (Mushroom) flight, warrior skills Uranus (Old Guy) flight, noxious scent Saturn (Odin) flight, energy rings Jupiter (BronzeBruce) flight, gas Neptune (Zonker) flight, water Pluto (hkp) flight, ice Century Guy (sfilosa) Lord of Time Stream And introducing... Bono fantasyfootballbono super strength Issue 12, Part 3A: When When the Mood Hits with Goo, Planets Come From the Blue: That's Amoré! In the time of the Neanderthals, the members of the Hostess Horde, with the exception of the amorous Snowball, watch as the Solar Powers orbit into a soft landing a few yards away. "Yo, Horde! How's it hanging?" asks Neptune. "Big and hairy," answers Ding Dong. "Nice," says Cupcake. "My mother reads this." "No kidding?" asks Susie Q. "She still keep you in her basement?" "Ha. Ha. Coinee humor, I get it. No, as a matter of fact, she reads it for the JBH. She loved them as a kid." "Welcome to the land of the Neanderthals," says Twinkie. "Neanderthals, huh?" says Jupiter, watching as the cave men cavort and frolic among the daisies and buttercups of their serene valley. "So... any mammoth left?" asks Uranus. Fruit Pie glances at the enormous carcass of a mammoth with only one small square cut from its side. "I dunno. There might be a scrap or two, if you're willing to dig for it. What do you think? They're bigger than freaking elephants!" "Just asking," says Uranus grumpily. He lets off some noxious scent to nonverbally voice his disapproval of wise guy superheroes whose only power is making creamy filling. "Oh, man!" "Sheesh!" "Give a guy some warning, Slick!" "I gotta barf." Down in the valley, several of the Neanderthals pass out. "Nice one. You killed a bunch of cave men with your natural gas," says Saturn. "That's a PR nightmare," says Pluto. "Quick, think of a way we can spin this to make us look better." "Easy. They have weapons of mass destruction," says Mars. "They have pointy sticks," says Earth. "Same difference." Jupiter pulls Twinkie aside. "So what's the score here. Any trouble from Gorilla Grodd and his friends?" "Nah, they're a great bunch of guys. So how did you find us?" "I have no idea. We fell through the time stream and landed right in the middle of the age of dinosaurs. We killed a T-Rex then orbited out of there. Next thing we know we see you guys." "Hmm..." Twinkie paces a bit, frowning in concentration. "Dinosaurs and cave men never existed at the same time, yet somehow, in this mixed-up world, they do. Very curious." "It's like the comics. People and dinos existed together there." "Interesting theory. What do we do next?" "We need to find a portal." Jupiter pauses dramatically. "A time portal." "Yeah, we thought of that, too." Off Jupiter's disappointed look, Twinkie says, "But we never thought to pause so dramatically when saying it. So kudos to you." Jupiter smiles. Suddenly, a human scream rings out. "What the blue blazes is that?" Twinkie glances toward the cave. "Snowball. He's been screaming like that for fifteen minutes now. I have no idea why. Probably just letting off a little steam with that Neanderthal female who just achieved the age of mating." "Ah, well, as long as nothing is wrong." Jupiter and Twinkie return to their tête-à-tête, doing their best to ignore the throat-ripping, lung-tearing screams. Meanwhile... "Grnnndt!" says Goo, beating her chest. Why does he run from me? Is my butt not hairy enough? My brow ridges too small? My build not stocky enough? What's wrong with me? The other girls were right – I'll never land a mate by age 10. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!" says Snowball. Get away from me! Get away from me! Get away from me! "Glrnnndt?" Those sounds he's making; they're so passionate! He really does love me! I can't wait to tell daddy that I've found my soulmate! Finally, I can dump that loser I've been dating since age 7. I wuv my widdle Snowy-bowy, mwah, mwah, mwah! "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!" says Snowball. Get away from me! Get away from me! Get away from me! Using all the brainpower residing in her enormous cranium, Goo says, "Kuhm tooo Mah Mah!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Meanwhile... "So that's where it stands. Now, does anyone have any theories on what a time portal would look like? I'm assuming it would have to be close to what we've seen portrayed in the comics. Any theories?" Jupiter sees Earth with his hand up. "Earth?" "I feel it would be swirly," says Earth. "And perhaps whooshy," says Mercury "It could be rather milky," says Venus "Most likely roundish," says Saturn "Fleshy globes, with big hard nipples that you use to dial the era you want to travel to," says Uranus. They all look at him. "You read the comics you like, and I'll read the comics I like." "All right then, we look for something that might've been used in an X-rated episode of Star Trek, the original series." Meanwhile... Up in Time Central. "Minute Guy, there's a design change. Add some big nipples that double as dials. Can't believe we never thought of that," says Century Guy. Meanwhile... Snowball, now smiling contentedly, smokes a cigarette. "You were wonderful, baby." "Glllblllblllb," says Goo. "Aw shucks, honey, you really think so? Well, I hate to brag, but I was voted sexiest member of the AV Club, my sophomore and junior year." Damn that Dexter Allen Minskowitz for transferring to our school senior year. Goo smiles toothily at Snowball. So he sucks at honka-honka. He's still really cute, in a flat-faced, pointy-chinned way. "Hey, you wanna come with us? We're on an adventure in time, on our way to saving the universe. We'll probably all die, but we could have some laughs on the way." "Fllrt." Shyah, right. "You're flirting with me! Great! C'mon, let's tell the others." Snowball grabs Goo by the hand and runs for the entrance to the cave. When they emerge, it's a chaotic scene. A large, swirling, whooshing, milky, roundish breast is hovering near the cave. Ho Ho is playing with a giant nipple while the rest of the horde and the Solar Powers look on. Before Snowball can react, he is grabbed by the back of his uniform and hoisted off his feet. "Grrrahhh!" roars his attacker. "Help!" The Neanderthals in the valley look up at the roar and begin running toward the scene, panic in their faces. "Grrraahhh! Gorn da flllkkt rapchit klllrg!" says the Mighty cave man holding Snowball. "Uh oh," says Goo. "Who... what... whoa!" says Snowball as the cave man shakes him. "Mah ecks-boyfrennn," says Goo. "Znobaww, Bono. Bono, Znobaww." To be continued...

Thanks, House. And thanks, Zonker. It was purely a guess that the gentlemen on this board would be attracted to the image of a time portal resembling a large breast. -- Joanna

Sure. I've got you on the list. Don't know when you'll show up, but keep an eye out.

Issue 12, Part 2.5: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Time The Time Masters Second Guy (Ares) Lord of Time Stream Minute Guy (DiceX) Lord of Time Stream Hour Guy (PedgreeMan) Lord of Time Stream Day Guy (hobbes) Lord of Time Stream Year Guy (justiceleaguefiend) Lord of Time Stream Decade Guy (Chrisfuccione) Lord of Time Stream Century Guy (sfilosa) Lord of Time Stream Millennium Guy (blowout) Lord of Time Stream Issue 12, Part 2.5: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Time Millennium Guy strides into the room, his regal bearing and long, flowing white mane, long, flowing purple robe, and long, flowing back hair making him a force to reckoned with, though rarely dated. "By the clocks of Ganthor, what is going on in here?" "Nuffin," says Year Guy, shuffling the toe of one foot while whistling and looking guilty. "He did it!" shouts Minute Guy, pointing to Century Guy. "He sent Week Guy and Month Guy into the time stream and all heck broke loose!" "You mean 'Time of the Month' Guy," snickers Hour Guy. Day Guy glares at Hour Guy, but Year Guy hides a small smile. "Who in Ganthor's name are those... those... costumed cossacks?" asks Millenium Guy, pointing to the meeting of the Solar Powers with the Hostess Horde in the time of Neanderthals. "Um... they're, uh, you see... um..." Century Guy breaks off Year Guy's mumbling response. "They are superheroes, sir. Costumed do-gooders who managed to breech the time tunnel. We sent Week Guy and Month Guy in to contain the situation, but unfortunately, the various groups slipped through the fabric of time and landed somewhat willy-nilly throughout several eras." "They're looking for time portals," says Minute Guy. "Time portals? Time portals? Are they daft? Who in the name of Ganthor's left testicle told them that were such things as time portals?" Millennium Guy's back hair is standing on end, adding to the frightening majesty that is the Supreme Lord of Time. "They read comic books, sir." Day Guy gives a shrug, then returns to monitoring the monitors, in a somewhat redundant fashion. Off Millennium Guy's confusion, Hour Guy says, "Comic books are illustrated texts extolling the virtues of heroic individuals who wear primary colors." "Hence, the fashion errors," added Minute Guy helpfully, pointing to a monitor showing the N'Superables. "I see..." says Millennium Guy. "None of them have touched anything, though, right?" The rest of the Lords look at each other sheepishly and hide their faces. "Unfortunately, they have, sir," says Century Guy. "They have had somewhat of a disruptive effect on their various eras. The Solar Powers have killed a T-Rex. One of the Hostess Horde appears to be moments away from impregnating a Neanderthal girl. The N'Superables have just realized that Action 1 – the most famous of their beloved comic books – is on the newsstand and will most likely disrupt comic values so severely that there will be a crash in 2004. The Hero Squadron has killed German soldiers in World War II. The Marvelous Four have picked up a new member native to the time period and are heading to the OK Coral. The villains have lost one member, and gained two more and there's no telling what havoc they'll wreak. The Bad Brigade is in jail in the land of funny animals, and the JBH has landed smack dab in the middle of the Beginning of Time, which was the destination of all these interferers in the first place. It seems they're all fighting the Archi-Moderator and think they're soooo important, gonna save the world, yadda yadda. It is... well, there's no other way to say it. It is as hairy as Ganthor's bal—" "I get the picture," says Millennium Guy. "We need to take action. And not the comic book, I mean action like we have to do something. Something powerful and overwhelming with lots of special effects." "Uh, sir, if I may?" cuts in Decade Guy. "Proceed." "I fear that a flashy display, though impressive, might aggravate the situation even further. Remember when that small kitten fell into the red sea and you parted the whole bloody thing so she could crawl out? They're still talking about that!" "And I never get credit. Yes, perhaps you're on to something. Decade Guy, right?" "Yes, sir." "Do you have some sort of plan to get all these spandexed spankers out of the time stream?" "I might. We need to create some sort of low budget time portal that a comic book fan would recognize, but no one else would notice or care about." "Hmm... and what would this look like?" "Swirly," says Minute Guy "Whooshy," says Hour Guy "Milky," says Day Guy "Roundish," says Year Guy "Fleshy!" says Minute Guy, swooping into the room with non-dairy creamer. They all look at him. "What, you're not describing breasts?" "No," says Century Guy, "we're describing fake time portals. Next on the list was your dismissal. What took you so long?" "The 7-11 was out. I had to go to the beginning of time to get some, and there's all sorts of stuff going on there, what with a big red blob, a bunch of bikers and some weirdos from the future. Saw Week Guy and Month Guy, though. Month Guy looks different." Millennium Guy fills his cup with coffee and non-dairy creamer then sighs in relief. Seeing the lords just standing around, he gives them a lethal glare. "Enough talk! It's obvious that this group of would-be heroes is destroying the balance of time! Get to work on building those fake, swirly, whooshy, milky, roundish, fleshy time portals, or by Ganthor's mangled teat, I'll fire you all!" With that, Millennium Guy sweeps regally from the room, taking care not to shut the door on his back hair. "You heard the man. Move!" shouts Century Guy. "And for the love of Ganthor's left something or other, don't blow this one. The fate of the universe and most of greater Akron depends on you!" To be continued...

Yes - it is all YOUR fault - all this petty bickering - this animosity - this lack of cordiality - having to read Khaos posts! Awww, I didn;t mean that. In this thread, Lord Khaos is sacred, for he is The Originator. -- Joanna

It's my fault for not writing more crisis. You're waiting for the next installment, "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Time Masters" and it's not here. I hang my head in shame. Not shamed enough to write anything, but shamed, nonetheless. -- Joanna

Actually, it means you get irritable, achy and retain water twelve times a year! Should I change his name to Time of the Month Guy?

But several people have already died.

Thanks Chrom, Chrisco, Bluto, Redhook, & 'House! Glad you enjoyed it. -- Joanna

For 'House. To look up what happened before, read chapter 12, part 1H Chapter 12, Part 2H: New Beginnings That Seem Like Old Beginnings! Appearing in this issue: Flying 'House (Flying 'House) Flight Lighthouse (Lighthouse) eye beams Spelling Bee (PovertyRow) flight, stinger Raspberry Toaster Pastry (Darthdeisel) flight, goo KostumeKween (MajorKhaos) Powers of Supergirl Week Guy (NewtSamson) Lord of Time Stream Month Guy (Redhook) Lord of Time Stream Chapter 12, Part 2H: New Beginnings That Seem Like Old Beginnings! The JBH (Justa Buncha Heroes) and two of the time masters watch as a man leading a giant red blob, which is being chased by angry bikers, comes toward them. "Newt, I don't like the looks of this," says Month Guy. "Me neither, Red." "Hang on a minute," says 'House. "Your name isn't Red. It's Jonny Double." "No, it's not," says Red, his steely gaze unblinking. Newt pulls 'House aside. "Just chill with the Jonny references. He ran into a little trouble." "What kind of trouble?" "Woman trouble." "Is there any other kind?" "Well, there's girl trouble, but we're going to keep this clean." Newt glances at the rest of the group, to make sure they're not listening. They aren't. Instead, they're all watching RTP squeeze her breasts in a demonstration of her powers. It's one of the JBH's new favorite things ever to watch. 'House, usually the one to ask RTP to demonstrate, reluctantly pulls his attention back to Newt. "What did Jonny do? I mean, we've been here together the whole time. I don't see how he could have done anything." "I thought we already explained that in the beginning of time, things aren't always what they seem. The laws of physics and nature are more like suggestions." "So an irresistible force meeting an immovable object..." "Here we'd say a somewhat alluring force met a slightly stubborn object. Neither is really all that keen on staying still or moving." "This is quite the fun place." "Wonderful vacation spot. Next time you should bring the kids." "So what did Jonny do?" "He called a woman 'cunning'. That's a big insult around these parts." "Cunning? Really? Cunning as in clever and artful?" "Sshhh!" Newt looks around, hoping no one is listening. "For crying out loud, never use cunning, clever, and artful in the same sentence! In fact, don't use them in any sentences! You want to get us all killed? Geez, I'd better warn the rest of you guys." "Don't tell KostumeKween. He'll take it as a challenge to use all three words as often as possible." "Are you two picking out a china pattern or something?" shouts Donut. "I mean, we do have a blob and a bunch of bikers running at us." "Funny how they made no progress since the last time we looked at them," says Bee. "In fact, they stopped all together when RTP was squeezing her breasts. I wonder why?" "Just how old are you?" asks KostumeKween. Newt says, "Red, explain about the suggestions of physics and nature, okay?" "Will do." Red huddles with the rest of the group, while the blob and bikers run in place so that all the characters can get out their exposition. Newt and 'House eye Kostumekween. "So you think he might be trouble?" asks Newt. "Only with linguistics. With everything else, he'll be like the rest of us: totally useless." "Gotcha. We'll just have to keep him away from wordplay. You wouldn't believe what some of the other bad words are." "Like what?" "I'm not tellin'! For crying out loud, my mom might read this!" "Oh, c'mon, just tell me one more." Newt whispers it in his ear. "Cool? That's a bad word?" "Shut up! It's the absolute worst. Carries the death penalty." 'House pales. "That's not good." He glances toward the group. RTP is bent over, searching the ground, her posterior high in the air. "Funny, I don't even remember you wearing contact lenses, Kween," she says. 'House grunts in frustration. "If only there were some way to mask the words and therefore stay away from trouble." "Hmm... there might just be a way." Newt leads 'House back to the group, rubbing his chin thoughtfully in a clichéd manner. "And as that demonstration showed, it's not the law of gravity, it's the suggested method of staying glued to the earth. But then, half of you guys fly, so you should understand this stuff. At least here you'll only be breaking a suggestion, instead of a law." Red turns to see Newt and 'House arrive back at the group. "Ready?" "Yes. I had to pee," says 'House, covering for why he left the group, his mind spinning with the possible dangers they might face in the beginning of time. "And you needed Newt to hold it for you or something?" asks Kostumekween. "What a cunning way to avoid Red's boring lecture on the science of non-science, though you missed a clever demonstration of why contacts don't always fall to the ground." Red, Newt and 'House gasp at KK's use of the words 'cunning' and 'clever' in the same sentence. "You can't--" says Red. Newt slaps a hand over his mouth. "Hang on, Red, there could be a problem." He looks at 'House, who has sidled next to KK. "Shut up, KK. Just don't talk for awhile." "Huh? What's wrong? Why shouldn't I talk? It isn't like that blob is going to get here before dinnertime, at the rate he's running." "What's going on?" asks Donut. "Is this some artful way of trying to get us to do your evil bidding?" Again, Newt, Red, and 'House cringe. "Just shut up! Everyone!" says 'House. "Did Newt corrupt you?" asks Bee. "Are you the new villain in this scenario? Frankly, I thought it'd be the blob. Or maybe the bikers. But having 'House turn on his fellow JBHers would be a truly cunning plot twist." "GAK!" shouts Red, sweating bullets. "Are you guys incapable of shutting your mouths?" asks Newt. 'House throws up his hands in defeat. "I really thought it would be Kween who'd screw us. But apparently I don't know my teammates as well as I thought I did." "It really is clever to use 'House against us," says RTP. "Did you see how he told that artful lie about peeing?" says Bee. "And his cunning use of dismissive hand gestures -- don't forget those," says Donut. "Just shut up all of you... you... 'TARDS!" shouts 'House. All of the color drains from the faces of Newt and Red. "He did NOT just say that," says Red. "I didn't think I had to mention that word. I mean, who in their right mind would ever call another human being a... a... I can't say it." Just then sirens are heard. "Oh, God, it's the ROBOT squad." "Robots?" asks Bee, suddenly interested. "RIGHTEOUS OFFICERS of the BEGINNING OF TIME," says Red. "Cool!" says Kween. "Holy cunning," whispers Newt. "We are dead men talking."

Put in a container with an open box of baking soda. I had a musty book once that I wanted to give as a gift (bought it on ebay) and the baking soda trick worked really well.

I just talked to my editor, and she told me that it's not a done deal yet (she had thought it was). But that the papers are very close to being signed. So basically, it could still fall through. But things look good for it to happen. And now I'm working on another pitch. -- Joanna

You guys are the best. Thank you Ricky, Beyonder and Chris!

Thanks, Pov!

I had a feeling you'd understand why this is big news, Pov!

I got some good news recently. The two books I wrote are going to be published in the US by Viking/Penguin. That's a really big, prestigious publisher, so it's a real coup for my resumé. That means they should be available in all major book stores. Yeeha! -- Joanna

I didn't do anything. I didn't PM or ask. It just appeared one day.

Thank you for your patience, Beyonder. Thank you for CRISIS, Joanna. Aww, shucks, now ya got me all blushy.

Thank you for your patience, Beyonder.

Crisis will return. I just got the layouts for my books and have to do "cuts and fills". Because they have a deadline, it has to take priority. I haven't forgotten. I just got really busy. -- Joanna

Oh REALLY ???? That's VERY logical. Many of us have given away freebies for any number of reasons. Sometimes a board member will hold a contest and offer a prize. Sometimes it's just a "first one to PM me gets a treat" kinda thing. So it's not illogical. However, it's by no means something one has to do. -- Joanna

Clark, unfortunately, due to the fact that you are a new member, you are unfamiliar with some of the board members. Shield may have questionable political views, but he strikes me as a fine fellow, and unworthy of ire. My beloved Pov is nothing less than a member of the JBH -- the legendary Spelling Bee -- so I can't retcon him. Beyonder, a lovable lad himself, is currently playing a very important role in Crisis, being half of a romance that will shake pre-history. And Arch, our benevolent lord and master, is the primary villain. How could I possibly impose facial hair on the primary villain? The sandwich, however, is very doable. Egg salad okay? (I make great egg salad) -- Joanna

Oh yes, I've been flamed many times. When I first got here, it was assumed that I was a guy pretending to be female (a natural mistake), so I was greated a tad roughly. Got it cleared up very quickly, however. And although there were some other comic forum moments, most were in the water cooler. I rub some people the wrong way, it seems. -- Joanna